How many men have turned down a woman for sex?
 

I've turned down about 3.

One was my girlfriends sister.

Then my roommates friend, who woke me up in the middle of the night and had no idea who she was.

Another woman who I saw at a hotel and calling me late at night on the room phone, was worried I might get robbed or something.

Any ladies here ever been turned down for sex?

I cannot say that I have ever been turned down for sex. Though I would not call myself promiscuous either. Have I turned down offers? Of course I have.

I probably turned a woman down once, but didn't realize it until several years later. I had another experience where I wish I had turned her down, though.

I don't think I've ever turned down a woman for an explicit offer of sex, but I've definitely backed out of situations that I knew were headed that way. Not every guy is a sex-crazed maniac. I have standards.

a goal of being 5 years celibate lead to me declining many offers from women, and me never wondering if I caught something or if I had a child to come back and haunt me years later.

Several.

However, I have taken girls up on the offer many more times.

I'm in the same boat. I have never turned down an explicit offer of sex (not sure if I'd be strong enough, honestly), but I have backed out of one situation where I know that's where it was headed. I wasn't too crazy about her but probably would have done it, given a real offer...I may have self esteem problems or something.

I know in a few cases I stupidly didn't realize that some situations were headed that way and inadvertently derailed the progress toward sex. I'm a nice guy by default...

I've turned down a few.

Celibate, cynth? Really? Did you get inspired by that 40 Days and 40 Nights movie?

Every time.

:)

oh man i turn down chicks alot, or at least i did when i lived on florida.

i have this complex that anyone with a penis shouldnt have. If shes lacking personality, isnt into any of the things im into, or just not a cool person, i cant do it.:sad:

I dont know why, but ive always been like this. :dead:

Im an awkward person, too. so its pretty rare that a girl hits on me, and im all in.

I've turned away many men over the years.

I've only been turned down once, right after my promiscuous wild and crazy days. My future first husband slept (literally) with me but wouldn't have sex with me until he officially broke up with a woman who was crazy about him. I married him because I thought he was the one honorable guy for not sleeping with me on the first date, but in reality it was a mere glimpse of the future - a bleak and barely existent sex life. :eek:

Yeah, three times. Which is three more than I ever dreamed I would. But it was the right thing to do.

Once was this party I went to in high school, and my friend introduced me to this girl there, and pretty much said, "She's looking for someone to 69 with. I told her you were supposed to be great at that." And she was like, "Yeah, you up for it?" But it just didn't feel right. I had only just learned her name, I didn't know her from Adam, she didn't look like my type, and she made it crystal clear she wanted to get off and get gone. It just felt too empty and pathetic for me. So I said no.

The second time was in college, and this girl I was casual friends with basically said she just wanted to get laid, and would I do her a favor: it wouldn't mean anything, just sex between friends. But I knew she had a thing for me, and it would've meant something to her, and not to me. It just would've fed her feelings, which I didn't return. And I wouldn't have been able to live with myself.

The third time was after college, and I was living with my long-term girlfriend. I was working as an actor at that time, and I had a part in this indie film that was shooting, and the girl who played one of the leads and I totally hit it off. Great chemistry both on and off-screen, loads of shared interests, just major sparkage. She was a smokin' hottie, too. I still remember those gorgeous dark eyes.... We flirted, probably a little too much, and on the last day of the shoot, she gave me a lift home, and we were flirting the whole way. Before she dropped me off, she basically let me know she was really into me, and it wasn't necessarily a problem for her that I had a girlfriend, and she gave me her number. I was soooo tempted! But I didn't. I just can't cheat on a girl. That's not the code.

That's about right ...

More than a handful of times. Quite frequently when I had relationships that were dwindling down, I just didn't feel like it.

If there's someone that I genuinely like, I like to do a little foreplay and then turn down sex. That way, they are absolutely craving it the next day, and it tends to be much hotter and more satisfying :icare:

I suppose there was one instance where I thought the evening was headed in that direction. I avoided it however I could as I wasn't exactly attracted to the other person.

Aside from that, if I ever do get an offer, I highly doubt I'd reject it. However, that sort of thing simply doesn't happen to me. :)

Over the past six months, often. But I'm 45 living around a bunch of retired ladies. 20 year olds don't do anything for me. Ladies 20 years older then me, while very interesting, I rarely find attractive. Even less so when they're completely drunk off their ass.

I've never had to turn a woman down, who was offering sex. I doubt I ever will. I dont get those kinda offers.

Wouldn't feel bad if I were you. Unless the offer is being posed to a 16yr who gets a woody every time the wind blows- there's a reason people get turned down for sex.

What I did was... this girl I've known for a few months now wanted to hang out, and also wanted me to buy something really expensive for her. Well, I knew what she would do to convince me, but I actually have fallen for a real love, someone who I think about in a long-term context, even though I haven't actually talked to her.

So, I told this other girl I didn't want to hang out. I spent the whole weekend alone, and when I realized how juvenile this was I frantically called her non-stop Sunday night until she answered, and we hung out Tuesday. She doesn't love me, and I have grown estranged from her, but she'll get friendly with me when she needs something, like clockwork. Applaud a lonely guy like me for actually seeing this, and recognizing the hollow nature of it, and being unsatisfied with that. A phone call from a girl that I like, that actually likes me, is better than all of the one night stands in the world. They don't have much longterm meaning, unless you're talking about an STD. :shakehead:

Anyway back on topic, I don't supposed I really turned a girl down for it, as the reason she would get with me wouldn't be out of lust or love, but something else... Oh, and I didn't stick to my guns anyway and called her up eventually, giving in to loneliness and a bit of lust.

Maybe three or four. I don't remember. And I'm sure it was for a really stupid reason. Like I was too drunk to get it up. Or she was missing a limb or an eye or something.

I do remember turning down a girl after she removed a fake tooth to eat dinner. I just kept staring at that damn tooth. Thinking she would take it out if she blew me. Not downed with the gumming. Unless it's an older lady...

No, I was interested in hanging out in bars and clubs drinking heavily. In the early 90s AIDS was still a scary thing. Between the death and 18 year imprisonment of having childsupport payments, I chose to not stick my dick in anything for many years.

Goal was 5 years, I made it 3.5.

That's seriously commendable. Well done. I doubt I could go more than a month.

You've heard of condoms?

yes, condoms are still a risk greater than zero.

abstinence was the 100% solution of zero risk.

You're right, of course. I've personally found that combining the pill, condoms, and spermacide along with having one's partner tested is pretty close to 100%.

true but that means having a partner which at the time, didn't have one so it would have been a one night stand or a short term relationship.

You'd also have to believe that their test results were either accurate or even worthwhile. You'd also have to believe they were on the pill. The only thing that I had control over was if I did or didn't stick it in someone.

It wasn't worth the evening for a potential lifetime of suffering.

Fair nuff. :thumbsup:

That's so YOU, Cynthetiq. Nobody else I've ever met could be so damn LOGICAL and DISCIPLINED while at the same time irrationally destroying themselves with chemicals.... :thumbsup:

When I was in high school I was an active member of the youth organizing team in my Episcopal diocese. Summer before my Senior year, I went to a national Episcopal youth conference in Denver, where I was propositioned by a girl who was so forward and driven it scared the hell out of me.

She said she was a New Kids On the Block fan. She said I looked like Donnie. I got the hell out of there.

I guess you didn't have the right stuff.

hahahahaha zing. Yes I have, to answer the question. Mostly drunk girls when I wasn't drunk; I didn't want to take advantage.

Well, I've turned down a situation that I knew was likely to lead to sex before.

Mostly, though, I've screwed up situations which could have led to sex without meaning to. I don't think that counts, although it should, because saying it the other way makes me sound way cooler.

You should have been worried if she told you you looked like Joey...and I can't really figure out any kind of resemblance between yourself and Donnie Wahlberg...unless you looked totally different in the early 1990s. I should note, I was a huge NKOTB fan, but I was 8.

I've been turned down once for sex, and it's because the man in question is a total gentleman. He didn't want to take advantage of a lady. How polite. I didn't feel so kindly towards him at the time, but afterwards, I was glad. He is a great friend.

"He's the cute one", she said.

Also, she told me to guess why her guy friends call her "Peaches".

I ran fast and far.

^^This. I may have been a little slower to realize it though, there were some situations that I backed out of that may have become explicit within the hour.

I have turned down sex with 3 different girls over the last 2 weeks. I have only been single for 2 weeks now (after about 10 years of straight relationships), so I'm really just figuring out what I want right now instead of jumping into anything/anyone right now.

Well, I have...so there's a +1 for the count. A friend's semi-estranged wife, a girl I knew at school who was looking for someone to make her happy and complete...a girl who wanted to claim she was a virgin (actually, probably two of these) but who put themselves into situations where sex was a probable outcome...a few close friends when I was younger...if the situation isn't right, el pig doesn't go for it. I prefer everything to be above the boards, and in the definite "I want to do this for the right reasons." Namely, either because you have an emotional connection to the person and so forth, or because you both want to get some friction on. Misunderstandings and poor communication aren't my style.

Yes, if I'm going to kill myself, I'm going to do it MY WAY and on MY TIMETABLE Dammit!

Yes at least once. The time that stands out the most was a really good female friend who had a hard time handling her liqueur and she never remembered anything the next day. I wasn't nearly as drunk as her and felt like I was taking advantage of her even with her leading the way. It was hard to turn down but with a friend of many years I wasn't willing to take the chance of her to not even remembering or first time together. Or even worse, thinking I took advantage of her.

I am fine living with that choice.

Probably not

I like to think I'm the type of guy who would say no to the wrong type of offer from a woman ....

she's in a relationship with someone else who wouldn't want her to have sex with me, that sort of thing

I'd never have sex with a woman who was so inebriated she didn't even know where she was, much less what/who she was doing

and I certainly wouldn't have sex with someone I suspected might be young enough to get me shot or incarcerated

but, alas .. I can't recall any such offers ever made to me .. only the kind ANY man would say yes to .. and well .. I'm not here to brag :)

How bout turning down a guy @_@. (I'm also a guy). (Yes, I also would swing that way). I'm with a girl, tho, so no cheatey cheatey. :D

One time in college, I worked in a lab with a woman in her 30's. She was divorced with 2 kids, but kind of hot looking. Blonde. Nice body. We got kind of friendly, bordering on flirty. One day she invites me over to her apartment for dinner, and now I can see where this may be going and I told her I wasn't interested. She promised it wouldn't be a date, just 2 friends having dinner. At her apartment, after dinner, she was basically begging me to stay the night. She even tried to entice me my letting me know she had her tubes tied :lol:. Anyway, I just turned her down and went home.

Now that I'm older and wiser, I ofter wonder if I should have stayed ?!?!?!?

I have turned down a couple here and there if memory serves correct.

Most recent ones always center around work women or close friends who are female.

Similar to Average Joe above, one lady at my office who i thought we were just friends invited me over for dinner but wanted so much more.

I would have slept with her if we did not work together, but i have a rule i always follow and will never break. NEVER SHIT WHERE YOU EAT. I did not want to deal with the crap that would have eventually followed afterward.

btw that girlie hates me now and won't even look at me lol. some friend...

another time i can remember is a close friend who i thought we were just friends wanting to hook up. had to pass on that one too, as i can meeting girls anywhere, but friends are forever. would never risk our friendship for a romp. now i know it could lead to a great relationship...but was not something i was looking for.

btw i have been turned down far more often than i've rejected lol.

I did once turn down a naked woman. Does that count as extra?

Once in my younger days I turned down a lovely girl because I was totally enfatuated with her georgeous best friend. The lovely girl, Sandy, actually put her head right down in my lap. I had to stop her as she began to unzip my pants. I figured I wouldn't get anywhere with her best friend, Rene, if I succumbed.

A few nights later I was with Rene at her place and we had a few beers together. One thing led to another and we started making out. Things got heavy when I started feeling her up. I lifted up her blouse and started licking one of her nipples. Rene must have liked it because she started rubbing her other nipple. As the nipple licking and rubbing continued I unbuttoned her jeans and put my hand down her panties to feel the downy softness of her pubis.

I stopped licking her nipple when I started sliding her jeans down. At that point something happened and Rene got upset and jumped up off the couch we were laying on. I asked her what the matter was. She said she couldn't do anything with me because her best friend, Sandy, was so enfatuated with me. She said she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she betrayed her best friend.

I stayed there a while and we chatted a bit but when I left her place I was one horny and frustrated young dude. Not only did I turn down a lovely girl for sex but then in the same week I get turned down by her best friend. After that week we all remained friends but nothing sexual ever happened again.

Sorry for the long winded description but this thread brought back those memories in spades and when that happens I need to write them down and share them with good people.

So was I being a total male asshole or what?

I don't think any of that makes you some asshole. At least you didn't do the friend and then try to do her friend.


My separation from my ex was a long hard slog. It wasn't nasty, just long. I quit wearing my wedding ring about six months after we stopped sleeping in the same bedroom, which was about three four years before I moved out. She has multitude of issues including major depression. She'd spend days in a darkened bedroom sleeping and watching TV. I spent years trying to help her, get her to counseling, get her on medication etc... all to no avail. She wouldn't go to a doctor ever, didn't like them. I'd bet she hasn't seen one in well over 15 years. According to her there was no problem, she was just tried a lot. Yeah, sleeping 14-18 hours a days doesn't sound like a problem to me. and lot's of people eat a half gallon of ice cream and two large bags of chips in a couple of hours. How silly of me to think she was clinically depressed.

Anyway I started traveling a lot after taking an early retirement. Really just traveling to travel. I was on a plane one time and spent the whole flight having a basic chit chat type conversation with a rather attractive lady. The flight was running late and we got into Phoenix well after my connection had left for Portland. So off to the ticket counter. No flights tonight but we'll get you a room, a meal voucher and on the first flight out tomorrow. I get to the hotel and I hear her voice from behind me. "You too huh?" We talk a bit as they find rooms for us. I asked "so you going to eat?" "Sure, meet you in the restaurant in 20mins?" "Great." Over dinner the conversation becomes decidedly more flirtatious. I'm playing along with this until I start to think she's got active plans in mind. I tell her "I think you should know I'm married." "Married? I don't believe you. Why aren't you wearing a ring?" I don't go into any real details just that I don't often wear a ring. Somehow, and believe me at this point I'm not trying to fuel anything, she got it in her head I wasn't married, just wasn't interested in her. I finally pulled out my cell phone and showed her the contact entry for my wife. I told her "we can call her if you'd like." Even after all that she still seemed interested in taking things up stairs. I try to steer the conversation back to more general topics and eventually it ends with us each heading to our own rooms.

My wife and I hadn't done anything for literally years, sometimes I think I should have taken her ideas and ran with them. She was attractive and I liked every one of her ideas, some of them I found down right brilliant. Just at the time thought if I do this I'm going to go home and feel like shit about it later.

Absolutely. At least worth two, possibly three depending on her appearance.

OMG - Tully Mars! This paragraph fits the description of the situation I had with my ex for the last four years of our marraige to a tee. My ex had the added issue of alcoholism on top of all that. I know exactly where you are coming from.

Now I am not going to deny that I must also shoulder much of the blame for the collapse of my marraige but at least I was getting help by seeing a psychologist during that time and my ex also refused to seek help.

During the last 6 months or so before I moved out I made a new woman friend and she was very good to me and consoling for me also. She gave me many opportunities to take our friendship to a more intimate level. I am so glad I didn't take her up on that until well after my divorce was final.

Maybe I learned that lesson from that experiece from my youger days.

Well then let me say I FEEL YOUR PAIN.

My Ex rarely drank, but it was not good when she did. Not a happy drunk, slobbering crying.. oh, just... just plain ugly. She got sloppy drunk in Key West one time and the waitress asked us to leave. Not a pretty sight. I had to pour her into a cab. Same thing happened on a cruise one time, just no cab to call.

I swear she didn't show any of this until she was in her late twenties. But I know most of it was a result of childhood trauma. Why it took so long to surface I'm not sure. I know when her dad died it got way worse. I never met the man, which was probably a good thing for his health and for my freedom.

It takes two, no doubt about it. Over time I found more and more ways to be gone. I worked full time and ran a business on the side. At one point I was doing all that and teaching an EMT course at the local com. college. I sat down one day and realized I'd worked over a year without one day off and most weeks I was working 60 to 70 hrs, more at times. Maybe my being gone all the time didn't help, but to me that was a chicken and the egg type question.

She'll be here day after tomorrow. Her impending visit has me sinking into a mini depressive state myself.

Sorry for the thread jack. But it's nice to know other's have survived this too, Thanks for your post Bees, gives me hope.

Judge for yourself. I'd like to add she's now a good friend and I don't see her purely as someone whose coming on to me is something to brag about. The fact that I said no probably is though. ;)

Ok, I maybe have posted the scoring without all the needed data.

I'd say you're do at least a or 4-5 for turning that down.

Augh! That's a kick in the nuts for sure. ><

What about women who have turned down offers of sex? ;)

Ahh, but you didn't tell us why...

Well...... What about them?

I think most of us guys would like to have some insight into why we get turned down.

i've turned down three, mostly because i didn't want to deal with the baggage that came with it

I have turned down a number of times, and once in a blue moon in a horny moment i wonder if all the religeous reasons were right, but i never serious question it.

Didn't tell you why I turned her down or why do I think back on it now and wonder if I should have stayed? I'll answer both.

I turned her down just because it didn't quite feel right. I was probably 20 yrs. old and she was in her early 30's. I had very few experiences with sex, and I guess I felt a bit overwhelmed and uncomfortable.

Why I am debating whether I should have stayed or not is because I'm sure it would have been just a harmless night of good sex with an experienced woman. I'm sure that's all she was looking for anyway. I was just a college student, had no money, had few responsibilities, so I doubt I would have been an attractive choice as a boyfriend for her. She was a Mom struggling to support 2 kids. I'm sure she could have taught me a few things in the sack and boosted my confidence for getting other girls on campus (I was a bit shy around girls back then). Then again, it may have ended badly, too. Who knows?

I've turned down one girl. Which was probably pretty stupid of me because I don't get those offers very often.

I knew she wasn't into girls and that she was just really drunk. Plus, she wasn't very attractive.

I've turned down quite a few offers to have sex from men though.

Still curious.

Are there one or two overriding reasons why you turned down those offers or was it pretty much a different reason each time?

I've turned down implicit offers for sex before. In some of those cases I have let them blow me.... They probably expected something in return, but if I thought they were too ugly or promiscuous to fuck, I surely wouldn't go down on them.

Well I have gotten a few offers from men and I'm in a relationship now. So, that's one reason. And of course, I've turned down sex with my boyfriend for various reasons.

One time I turned down sex with a guy because he didn't have a condom.

Others are just ridiculous for the most part. I'm not even sexually active with the person and they just ask me to have sex. Of course I'm going to say no.

I haven't really turned down that many offers from men. I mean, I have, but once you say something about getting them off another way, they're gung ho about it. There have been a few that I felt like their reputation or hygeine was enough to turn me off. I try not to deal with those types often.

I'm consistantly turning down my best friend. She's gay and is determined to turn me bisexual at the least.

I have, forever, been turned down numerous times. The two that come to mind... One, when we were all hot and heavy, said he didn't want to have sex that early on. I'm still friends with him and always tell him that he owes me. Another was a Mormon. I saw it as a challenge to try to get him in bed with me. I almost got there, then he said we had to hurry up and get married so that we could have sex. Yeah, I don't talk to him anymore.

i turned down my first ever offer for sex