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A question for the ladies
I searched and didn't see a thread on this, so forgive me if this has been asked before.
Why do females generally get offended if they catch you staring at their breasts? Now, I know that the typical female response will be something along the lines of "Because it's disrespectful", but I've always felt that if you're wearing a low cut top which your breasts are practically falling out of that it would be impolite not to stare as, obviously, that was your intended purpose. |
Well...if I'm talking to you I prefer to have eye contact. When your eye contact is on my breast then I feel like you're not listening to what I have to say.
If you wear a low-cut shirt it's not always an invitation to stare, maybe we just like the shirt because it looks flattering on us. However for those women who are blessed with large boobs, and decide to let them dangle from their shirts then I suppose they're wanting the attention from men. Also I think the environment in which the woman is and her outfit have an effect on if the man is staring or not...if a woman is at work with a nice blouse and a suit on then no I would not look at her rack. But if she's alone in a bar or at a club and smelling like sex (and I guess looking like it too) then it seems to be more acceptable. So that's my idea on the subject. I feel uncomfortable when I'm at work and I notice people staring at my boobs because well..I'm at work, I technically can't say anything because it's inappropriate. However if I were OFF the clock I would say something. For instance. I lifeguard at the Tech pool, so I watch people. I've noticed this one guy who is constantly going under the water to watch girls in the lanes next to him while they're completely oblivious. This kind of watching I find to be creepy, so men don't do that when you're swimming laps...or atleast don't make it so damn obvious. I have seen this guy doing this on 4+ occasions when I've been guarding, I've mentioned it to my supervisor but unless the people he's gauking at say anything they can't do anything. (sorry that came off target a bit) But yea thats how people stare in that creepy/disrespectful way. Otherwise a few glances are fine as long as its not just looking there and not at the woman. |
You don't have to be exposing cleavage for men to stare at your breasts.
Truthfully, I'm not terribly bothered by it. Sometimes it's funny. But when it happens repeatedly in an atmosphere you already feel a second class citizen in (because you are a woman) it can become downright demoralizing and exasperating. It's polite to look a person in the eye when you talk to them. Not their shoes not their knees not their naval and not their tits. |
Lots of ladies seem to have trouble with men looking at their breasts *while* talking?
Haven't noticed that around here so far, and it seems like the OP doesn't do that either. We like to look, but during conversation, I make regular eyecontact? I thought most people did that. Seems I have alot to learn. |
You know, if I'm wearing a flattering top, I see it as normal behavior (as long as the eyes don't keep flitting down/lingering too long). However, I have a Creepy Uncle who ALWAYS stares at my chest area, even when I'm wearing something like a snowsuit (i.e. total coverage, nothing revealing). I am thoroughly uncomfortable around him, and have communicated about this several times (mostly through my aunt), but it's like he's compulsive. I know he's actually been reprimanded at work for sexual harrassment, so it's not just me (and my girlfriends have commented on it as well, when they've visited me while he's there with my aunt). Fucking sick, if you ask me. I try to avoid being around him as much as possible.
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I believe, of course, in being a better man than that. Women are not objects. At the same time, my female friends, and I have a few of them, will often make "objectifying" comments about a guys ass in tight jeans, his biceps in a cutoff or short-sleeved shirt or any other such. It irks me heavily that women, even those who would make such comments, could ever be offended by a guy staring at her breasts. To guys, those are like muscles are to girls (or whatever else you might individually like). *grumble* Sorry to rant, it's just annoying, doubly so coupled with the "poor me, I'm a woman and treated like a second-class citizen" spiel. I really don't mean any offense, specifically to ghoastgirl or mixedmedia, but a lot of gender-based issues are such crap (from both sides of the fence). Frankly, I feel until both men and women in general can admit to their own bullshit facade, questions like this will often be raised in all seriousness. You're a woman and you don't like your boobs stared at? Don't wear that shirt! Or, perhaps it's karma... don't stare at that guys crotch or ass or bulging muscles. You don't? Well, guess what, a large number of guys don't objectify you that way either. And a lot of your fellow women DO objectify men that way. I won't gawk at someone in a lewd fashion, but if you wear a low-cut shirt that exemplifies your cleavage, you can fully expect that I'll do more than glance in passing. That is, after all, the purpose of such a shirt... |
Well, in my defense I was referring to a real situation in my own life not some overlying feeling of being a second class citizen. Which I don't feel at all and I don't think I inferred that - I was obviously referring to "in an atmosphere you already feel a second class citizen in." And I don't wear revealing clothing there. Nor do I gawk at men's butts or muscles. I could care less about those things.
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My commentary is always well received, because I base it on how "on display" they are. I react more or less, in appropriate proportion to their exposure.
If you're wearing a shirt that's cut down to the navel, you have them on display. Call it flattering, call it "empowering" or femininity... call it what you want- I will call a spade a spade... they're on display. If you're wearing a turtleneck, they are not. I just think about how relatively obvious they are and comment accordingly (if I'm inclined to comment at all). This is not to say that staring is acceptable. Staring, no matter what you're staring at on a person, is just rude if unwelcome (once the correct rapport is established, I have been known to stare happily for seemingly endless periods of time... the key word here being "unwelcome"). Still, there have been a few times when I have gotten lost in the depths of a woman's cleavage (not while talking to her, not like I'm staring at the chest while she's speaking) and she'd look in my direction to discover I'd zoned out, eyes fixed on chest. At that point, it's not staring because I'm "ogling and thinking about naughty things and drooling", I'm literally just *caught*... my brain just says "wow" and ceases all but life-sustaining function for a bit. I'm not consciously fixed and smacking my lips and wringing my hands and making noises... I'm just... entranced. It's only happened a handful of times that they were so wonderful that I was instantly lost in a pair of breasts, but my normal reaction is apologetic and explanatory. "I'm sorry... I wasn't staring... I went for a glance and I just sorta... checked out for a minute there". I think that I come off as harmless and well-meaning, in general, helps set them at ease. I'm not saying I am harmless and well-meaning, but I come off that way. ;) lol |
A candid response can do wonders for dispelling the mutual discomfort of moments like that. I've been known to come back with light-hearted responses myself if I feel like the staring is good-natured and, well, goofy. You guys do get goofy with all that, you know. :)
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I'm not sure if people will ever agree on this
I personally reckon that if a woman is wearing unusually revealing clothes, she must expect some abnormal attention. |
Newsflash: Everybody loves tits. Age, gender, race... do not matter.
I was at a bar last weekend doing my infamous Crompsin zombie thing: facing forward, getting gently inebriated... when one of my completely straight female friends, Natalie, pulls on my shoulder and says this... like maybe she's just seen a dinosaur: "Omigod, look at the rack on that one." And it was a nice rack. /moral |
I think the rudeness or non-rudeness of it depends on the attitude of the stare-er.
Yesterday at work, in fact, I noticed a co-worker repeatedly glancing at my chest during our conversation. I took into consideration that A) I was wearing a somewhat form-fitting shirt, B) I was standing and he was sitting, so they were pretty much at eye level, and C) he managed to continue the flow of conversation, and I didn't get the feeling that he was focusing on them, just that he was being distracted. There was no sense of vulgarity. I was amused, and took mercy and sat down. If he had been vulgar, I would have been upset. So I guess it comes down to that. |
In my environment, ESPECIALLY during summer time, it seems the women go out of their way to wear tops that show "it" off. I'm the first one to admit that I have to force my eyes upwards. (A goal greatly simplified if a male partner is present.) But quite often, I sneak a downwards glance that direction, and I swear that I catch the slightest hint of a smile from some of these women when my eyes come back up. In some small way, I feel as if I've done my part in this silly game.....
Crompsin nailed it. Who doesn't like 'em? |
GG, you can wear one of those orange wind breakers like they had on Baywatch!
abaya, oh yikes. You could use stronger language like 'incest'. That tends to scare the crap out of people. If you must, give em a peak really quickly then move on. Unless it's your SO. Then enjoy. |
My favorite "admire my boobies!!!" shirt:
http://www.xepherys.net/albums/Misce...1491.sized.jpg If a lady wears a shirt that attracts attention to her chest, she should know that guys are going to stare. Isn't that the point of wearing such a shirt? If you don't like the attention, wear turtlenecks or baggy tees. Otherwise, quit complaining! |
If I'm in a professional situation (and NO I dont mean *that* profession lol) I dont appreciate it....any other time I could care less
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Likewise, I believe theres a time and place and professional environments are not appropriate even if the woman is wearing a revealing top. And yes I do understand that if we wear clothes that accentuate our figure that no matter what we want, men will stare. But it should not be so obvious or just constant eye - boob contact. Quote:
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I don't care.
My husband and I point out boobies to each other all the time. They are there to look at! |
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Just a thought. |
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Yup.. Consider them admired. X |
Hmmm!
(wonders how many people have a new desktop background today) |
haha, her boobs have been my background a few times in the last 6 months... *grin*
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;) |
I don't mind guys checking out my chest (38C, and since I've lost 40 lbs, they look HUGE) because, well, they're so obvious. You can't miss 'em. However, there is a difference between looking and being vulgar about it--when a guy stares a little too long, or gives you the full once over--then it starts to get creepy.
Just the other day I was at my local grocery store, wearing an average shirt (probably tight but not low-cut) and this guy totally stopped to stare at my chest. I gave him a rather scathing look, and this older guy behind him doubled over laughing--I assume at the lack of class the younger guy displayed by blatantly goggling at my boobs and my equally horrified expression. Seriously, the guy came across like a twelve-year-old. Another notable creepy boob-staring incident: I got checked out by a 50-year-old electrical engineering professor! He would not stop staring at my chest even though it was a good thirty feet away, across a bar. Jesus Christ. You'd think they'd never seen breasts before. |
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Other than that, I have become somewhat accustom to the staring :eek: especially because I am short (5'2") and almost everyone has a clear view down my shirt. I do agree that there are times when I feel like the person is not paying attention. It's funny sometimes when you see that they are trying their damnedest not to look.:shakehead: Sometimes still I catch my boyfriend in "booby dreamland" while staring at my chest. Well, that's the end of my rant. |
All Your Boobs Are Never Old News
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A distracting and desirable gift from the gods. If -I- had boobs? I'd never leave the house. |
I've got to agree with monkey baby here - blessing my ass! (well I like my ass so maybe that is a blessing)
I vary between a 38DDD or a 38F myself and the pain just isn't worth it - you can't run or go over speed bumps to add to her list of problems even a small speed bump while wearing a supportive bra can be painful as hell and when I had to run in highschool I had to wear 2 sports bras or it was just impossible. As I've been the same bra size I am now since I was 15 I've adjusted to the fact that some guys will stare, most of the time I don't mind as long as the guy is discrete about it or is able to make a joke about it like analog did but it does become a little irritating when I go for a swim while I have friends over get out of the pool and their eyes just drop to my chest and seem unable to form a coherent sentence until I put a shirt on. Sometimes I want to get attention and I will wear something that does emphasise my chest - then it's fine to stare but when you get over a certain cup size even in a plain Tee or a turtleneck guys still end up staring at your chest. Guys think of it as the same as if a girl was staring at your crotch, you don't mind too much but if you're talking to her and she's looking at your groin and doesn't seem to be listening to a thing you're saying it would be frustrating right? |
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And it can be a pain to run with big balls. |
Well, after reading some of the responses here, I guess I'm in the group of 'creepy' guys. I don't make it an absolute goal to stare at every woman's breasts, but if she's wearing a really tight shirt or a shirt that's showing off the goods then I'm going to stare intently.
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hmm maybe i should have rethought that statement ....
If I was a guy I would run with this rule I guess - if you can see that little strip of skin between a womans breasts for example http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f3...1491.sized.jpg you're ok to ogle - if you can't see that it's probably not intentional - doesn't apply for tight shirts though |
*Shrugs*
Breasts exist for purely aesthetic reasons. Therefore, they should be admired otherwise their intended purpose goes to waste. Granted, I don't make a case to stare at a woman's breasts unless they're hanging out of her shirt or if she's wearing a shirt a couple of sizes too small and I most certainly don't stare with my mouth wide open, drool running down my face as I think that'd probably get me thrown in jail (Or, at the very least, slapped/kicked in the balls). |
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You're right, though. Breasts spend most of their existence trying to attract males in hopes of finding a mate for their owner (hee hee, I personified boobies!!). I don't think I've ever met a (straight) guy that didn't like breasts. It's 100% natural for guys to want to look, and I take no offense to the occasional glance. I've never had anybody I don't know comment on my chest to my face, though. I think I'd be flattered, as long as they weren't assholes about it. |
So what excuse is used by guys for women that live out of t-shirts most of the time? No, the t-shirts are not too tight either...
If I have to pick your eyeballs out of my cleavage, it's rude! For guys that to that to me, I've always been tempted to point and stare at their crotch and laugh. I've never done it, but it has been tempting at times. |
Well, ya know what? If you don't want to be a sex object...
I'll gladly take all the attention points you're getting and apply them towards my female-chasing pool. God knows I could use all the extra ogles you get. |
Crompsin you are more then welcome to take all my ogles.
You can take all the car honks and random yellings to "show us your tits" as well Like I said I don't mind being discretely ogled but there are times when it goes too far Edit: sorry, my evening walk did not go well |
Anyone is free to stare at my boobs. I can't do anything about the fact that they exist. Sometimes I'll show them off and sometimes I'll strap them down with two sportsbras at the gym. They're there and some people really like to look at them.
But if I'm speaking in a professional setting or... anywhere outside of a bar, I expect some body language that I'm being listened to. That includes eye contact. Those little pointy things under my shirt are not eyes, thanks. |
So, I think it's pretty much agreed.
Ogling isn't a big deal unless you are ridiculously indiscreet or at work. You guys can handle that, right. ;) |
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I never ever knew a bra could fit so well |
Staring in general is rude. If you're talking to someone and you continually look up to stare at their forehead, it's extremely distracting and thereby rude.
Staring at the wrong person in the city (like Detroit) is enough to get your ass kicked. You learn quickly to avoid noticing them at all, unless they're directly addressing you. I doubt, however, that any of the TFP members are the "honk honk show me your tits!" crowd. It's a shame that these cretins ruin it for us all, but that's one fact I have to live with as a man. |
Funny, I thought I was weird for having to wear two sports bras to the gym... nice to know that some of you other women have to deal with the same issue. Why don't they just make better sports bras?!... the bouncing hurts when I only wear one, but when I wear two, the elastic band at the bottom constricts too tightly and my breathing gets shallow. Anyone else have that problem? :oogle:
/end threadjack |
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What's messed up though is when I'm zoning out looking in a certain direction where a girl happens to be sitting down, and my head happens to be looking at the place where her boobs are...or something like that. And then they think I'm a pervert. It's extremely rare, but it's happened a couple of times in my life. There were times when I was so bored in high school during class and this certain circumstance occurred. It's along the same lines as me accidentally touching a girl's ass as I brush past and she instantly becomes furious. Yeah I do think women get way too many breaks sometimes, but whatever, that's life. |
Hey, if I'm willing to flash them, you're welcome to honk. I've flashed many a boob at and from moving vehicles. But that's different from standing in front of me while I'm clothed and trying to have a conversation. If you stand in front of me while I'm trying to have a conversation with you and honk, well... we'll just have to see. :lol:
And, abaya, I haven't even found two sports bras that restrain mine comfortably. I'm only a C after I lost all the weight. I've taken to wearing a sports bra and a sports-tank and it's still not working. I feel like I've been punched in the breasts after 10 minutes on the elliptical. But apparently they are fun to watch bounce. |
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tell my husband to stay in town long enough with the camera!!!!!
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I'm somewhere between C and D cup, and love to run... but hate the bounce. Sometimes I run with my arms up close to my chest so I can stop the bounce that way (terribly uncomfortable). My mom attributes my gravity-afflicted boobs to high school cross-country and track ("I told you that if you kept running, they would sag early!"). :p Thanks, Mom! Since then I have actually bought the SMALLEST, least-stretchy sports bras I could find, in order to strap my boobs down as tightly as possible. Which accounts for the trouble breathing while running, at times.. Why don't those idiot (male?) bra designers know that we want NO MOVEMENT WHATSOEVER? Uggh. |
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hmm I wonder if that would work, the nipple chafing if there was movement would be terrible though
on a side note minimising bras work quite good for sports I have found - usually wide strapped with supportive cups and less likely to be uni boob orientated then the sports bras. |
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Personally, I find the uni-boob thing to be the only thing that works as a sports bra (added bonus: guys have nothing to ogle at!... going back to the point of this thread). :) The "supportive cup" thing, I find, still allows for the boobs to bounce, which causes discomfort. /goes to look for a titanium (lightweight) breastplate... or maybe just duct tape. |
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