How much of an age difference is too much or "icky/creepy/sick/etc"
 

My dad got married last September to a owman who is 18 years younger then he is, he's 68, she's 50. I don't have any problems with it, and obviously neither did they, nor did any of our relatives or friends.

I like a woman who is 16 years younger then I am, I'm 38, she's 22. I should also add that I dated a woman who was 12 years younger then I am, and started dating her when she was a senior in high school.

On other message boards when this type of issue comes up, it seems that invariably the poster in the relationship is condemned as being a "sicko/creep/weirdo/child molestor/(insert your insulting phrase here), mainly because they are taking advantage of an immature "virginal person" who has no clue about the big wide world or, if they are younger, are being taken advantage of by an older creep who wants nothing more then to bang their socks off with no emotional commitment, thus scarring them for life.

I guess it's the whole "immature/no emotional commitment thing" that bothers me the most because doesn't a huge part of being a young person revolve around being immature. Christ, these days sex in high school and college is as far from being emotionally involved as you can get.

So, how much of an age gap is too much?

5 years?

10 years?

You can also chime on on anything else I've said.

To me it is more about the person than their age. I've known very immature 22 year olds who would not be able to handle a serious relationship. And I've met 22 years olds that would be fine with it.

The people in question both need to agree on the goals of the relationship and have the appropriate maturity level.

I've heard a "basic guideline" which is take the older person's age, divide in half, then add 7; that's the minimum publicly-acceptable age for the younger person. In your case, that would be 26.

Take that for what it is worth, which is probably nothing.

My wife is 6 years younger than me. My mom is 6 years younger than my father.

As a rule initially I never dated anyone younger than me until I met one gal who was 15 and I was 19. I waited a few monhts until she was 16 to start dating her. Other than that all the ladies I dated were at least 1 year older than me.

Really it's about what is the individual no hard and fast rules.

For what it's worth, my 70 year old uncle is probably going to die soon, and his 40-something wife is going to be up shit creek when that happens (after nearly 20 years of marriage). She's had to wait on him hand and foot because of his old age, but she loves him, so I don't know how much the age thing plays into it.

And my 59 (?) year old aunt has been married to her 42-year old husband for some 18 years, and she got tired of sex after menopause and he cheated on her. Lots. They had a real rough spot for a long time, mostly because of the sex (and him wanting younger women, when he hit his 30s). They're still married, but I don't know how happily.

There's my two data points for you.

My wife is 7 years younger than me.

If the two people have thought it through and will be happy together as they age, who cares?

It depends on how old you are. If a 40 year old is dating a 30 year old, it's no big deal.

If a 60 year old is dating a 20 year old, it will raise a few eyebrows.

I'm 42 and typically date to within 5 years of my age. Not by design, but by just how it works out sometimes. Last summer, I had a brief fling with a 24 year old woman. It was a bit of an ego boost, however, I felt a bit odd; mainly because we didn't seem to have that much in common.

The youngest I would consider dating now is say 29 I'd say.

It all boils down to the two people involved.

My dad was 20 when my mom was born.

I never really considered it weird until high school, when I told my friends of the age discrepancy.

I don't see it as a bad thing, though. Why does it matter?

I think it depends on what age you are and who the person is. 20 and 35 is a big difference where as 45 and 60 is not so much.

Society always tries to impose its rationale and fear onto those that feel that it shouldn't be such an issue.


Age should not matter in the slightest(except for the possibility of children in the relationship) IF the persons involved are compatible and truly enjy being with one another. Why should society and onlookers(in essence, complete strangers or those unaware) be a factor in determining your happiness?


It depends solely on the mindset of the people involved in the relationship.


Period.

I'm 33 now and i've been talking to this girl who is in her early 20's and she seems far more mature and worldly than the 28-year-old i went out with last week. I try to stay in shape, both mentally and physically and am pretty current on trends, but if i "acted my age" i wonder how I'd feel about the whole thing. A friend of mine once said to me "i can't re-capture my own youth, so I might as well take someone else's" (as she pranced off with a guy 6 years her junior).

My girlfriend is 24, I am 20. Really, age is not a factor at all. We don't even realize the age difference unless somebody brings it up.

When I was 21, I was with a 18 year old at one point. No one batted an eye.

However, I was also with her when I was 20 and she was 17, and when I was 19 and she was 16. Just that 3 year difference gets a little bit of a look at 16/19, when it gets none at 18/21.

(*note- before you get all excited, we didn't happen to have sex until she was 17, which was a perfectly legal age for a sexual partner of mine to be, with me at 20. It wasn't planned that way, that's the way the timing worked out because of when we started dating, etc.)

I have this method I go by. I'm 19, and at my current age level I would only date girls within a two year gap. So 17-21. As I get older, I'll increase that gap. So when I turn twenty, I'm thinking of increasing the gap to three years. So 17-23. And so on, and so forth. You just need to decide how often you want to change the gap through the method I use. I still might stay at 2 years if I turn 20 for example.

If the age difference crosses one generation, I'd look down upon it. No 19 year- old-dating-a-60-year-old Lolita styles for me.

My dad is 68 and my mum 41, so thats a 27yr difference, they never had any problems, my dad is really fit for his age and doesn't really have any health problems at all yet. It's simply down to the type of people. Labelling older men as creeps is a generalisation, but I guess a lot of the time it does ring true. Though my dad was a porn photographer before he retired, and thats when he met my mum....

What is interesting I think, is a older woman with a younger guy, my friend at uni is 19 and his gf is about 36 I think. They seem to have a really good relationship but I wonder what will happen when they get older.

It always seems to be less of an issue if the guy is older than the woman, but heads turn and people start wagging their fingers if the woman is. You get names like "cougars" if the woman is looking for a younger man, but there is no derogatory label for a man seeking someone a lot younger.
That bugs me.

"Cradle Robber" comes to mind, as well as "Lecherous Old Man"... :oogle:

not exactly endearing terms for a man to hear...

I would say that if one is looking or attracted to a gal simply because she is younger and thus, in their eyes, more attractive solely in a physical, superficial way, then yes it's icky.

If one cannot ever carry on a meaningful relationship with a female closer to one's own age, but instead needs someone not as demanding or mature, then it's icky.

If you both have a real connection, and can make conversation as well as knock boots (old skool alert!) then it's not icky.

But be honest about the connection part.

Oh yeah, and "dirty old man" too. How could I forget?
Point taken Jet.

What's wrong with that? No matter how politically correct we get, it's a natural fact that younger people are more attractive than older people.

I don't really think there should be an age "limit" (beyond those sensible for sub 18) because physical age is very often entirely not linked to emotional age. You can't talk about relationships in terms of physical age simply because "the number of years since my birth" really says nothing about the person or their emotional maturity. Realistically there should be a 5 year "emotional age" limit in people dating, but it's not something we're used to quantifying.

Well, what I mean is that if there are two equally beautiful women, and one becomes more attractive to a guy solely based on the fact that she is younger than the other, then I think that's icky.

I know I'm not saying this the clearest way possible, but if that low age number is what is catching the attention, I do think that's icky. I also have a problem with the "TEEN, BARELY LEGAL" pr0n sites and promotions as well.

And for the record, I don't think younger people are automatically more attractive than older people.

My rule was always 1/2 your age +7. This seems to take care of society's view of age difference - the older we get, the less it seems to matter.

Examples:

If your 20 - you can date a 17 year old.

If your 60 - you can date a 37 year old.

It really depends on the 60 year old. You know, when you're in your late 30's and early to mid -40's you're in your stride. Career's on track, if you've got kids they are pretty much grown and life is wide open. Dating someone who's getting ready to retire and may or may not be in the best of health is not necessarily the way to go.
Use all the formulas you want, I agree with Sultana, there has to be somekind of real chemistry to make any relationship work, and don't kid yourself, significant age differences can and do cause problems.

Doesn't matter.


As long as it's legal.

Yeah, I was gonna say:

Between 18 and 80 and less than 2 weeks dead.

That's desperation for ya. Cobwebs on my junk.

I don't have a set age number that I'm willing to date, but I tend to date guys that are in my age range, not that I set out to do so, it's just the way it happens. I don't really care what other people do, if their relationship works, whatever right? Although, my mum is dating this loser that is pretty much right in between us age wise. I think he is not enough of a man to date me, mind you my mum, but that is just because I care a great deal for my mum and think she deserves a whole helluva lot better. I'm trying to get over it and just be happy that she's happy. Truthfully, I'd hate him no matter his age, so I don't know if I can say age factors into it at all. Anyways, my last boyfriend was a couple years younger than me (I'm 24) and it was a pretty big deal in retrospect. Now, this could just be that his personal level of maturity was not in line with mine, or it could be a general thing that guys a bit younger and I do not match up in that area, who knows. I guess every trait is very individual and I could end up dating a 20 year old guy next and we'll match up just fine. I don't ever see myself dating a Jack Nicholson-type or anything though, as intriguing his type is (older playboy) I just wouldn't be able to do it and not laugh all the time about how ridiculous it all would be.

You do what makes you happy. Both my sister and one of my best friends are with guys in their mid thirties; my sister is 25 and my friend is 23. I personally have spanned a four year age gap (23 to 19) and though that's as far as I've gone to date I wouldn't have any issues with longer spans in either direction, provided that I enjoy the girl's company and am attracted to her. As long as you're not dating a minor I really have no issue with it.

I don't think it matters as long as the people are happy.

My parents had a 12 year age gap.

I know two couples where the age differences are 20 and 24 years.

Who cares?

I honestly don't know. When you are young, the age difference seems huge. When you are older, the age difference doesn't have such a big taboo. I think the main reason for this is because of education system. When you are young, you have so many different transfers: kindergarten to primary, primary to secondary (or middle/high school), etc.

But when you become the age for a university student, there is less transfer variation. You are usually studying, working or both. By default, you have already reached sexual maturity and your thinking is different because of past experiences.

But I think these things can confine. The "this is illegal" statement seems too strange for me. I used to know a very young girl (mid-teens at the time) who became the girlfriend of my friend (30-something). While I admit I do not enjoy this girl's company, they were very good as a couple and loved each other. I was closer to my friend and he told me that she used to have a horrible past. She experienced many things that I never did even though I was older than her. So why confine her preference if she wants to love an older man instead of her immature teenager peers?

I think this "paedophilia" concept attached to an issue as presented by the original poster is somewhat paranoid. Well, it is more like sex-related issues have this paranoid aura. For example, a father is holding his daughter but she is crying and screaming for her mother. Other people so quickly assume he is a paedophile. I remember a friend holding her nephew at the mall. She was very young and people talked loudly behind her, assuming she was a teenage mother.

As for the law itself, I honestly don't know if it is good or bad. It is good to prevent true paedophiles and immature teenagers. It is bad for mature teenagers and sincere older adults who just want a normal healthy relationship.

They aren't automatically more attractive than older people, but youth and attractiveness judgments are highly correlated, especially in women.

If you look at relationship research, as men age, they prefer prefer women increasingly younger than themselves. The only age group of men that prefer women slightly older than themselves are teens.

Women generally prefer men older than themselves. Averaged across cultures, women prefer men about 3.5 years older than themselves.

Age ain't nothing but a number. So long as you and her can deal with it, then what other people think is irrelevant.

Age differences are more pronounced when you're younger.
Mutual attraction (and respect) tend to conquer all.

Jetstream said is best... it just doesn't matter. What does age have to do with emotion? I mean, once a person is, say... legal, at least for social norms, who cares what the age difference is?

The only time I ever find big age differences to be "icky" is when you see someone who's, like, 19 years old sleeping with/dating/marrying a really, really old person. And that's just because I suspect that somebody is being used. If I knew the facts and determined that wasn't the case, I wouldn't complain.

I personally wouldn't want there to be more than about 10 or 15 years age difference with the women I date (since I'm 30, I wouldn't date women under 18 for moral/legal reasons, but you get the idea). I wouldn't want to be an active, healthy 40 year old man with a girlfriend or wife in her 70's or 80's who couldn't go out and do much. Nor would I want to the opposite; where I was the really old guy who was too physically fragile to go out and have fun with my young girlfriend/wife.

it shouldnt matter much anyways unless its obviously a little kid. i mean, when i was a senior in high school. i was labeled as a pedophile jus for talking to a girl (since she was only 15 and i was 18).

imo, as long as the girls ok and you guys arent doing things that break the law then i think it shouldnt matter. but yeah, thats just my opnion.

It doesn't really strike me one way or the other seeing other couples with age differences. Personally, for maturity reasons, I prefer someone no less than 5 years younger or 10 years older. (Although hubby is my age.) Any younger/older than that, they seem to be in different stages in life than I am with different goals, etc.

I still get a laugh at people's reactions when I tell them that I am one year closer in age to my wife's mother, than I am to her! (currently wife is 28, I am 39, and her mom is 49)

Y'know, I do a lot of research about marriage migration (a.k.a. mail-order brides, or chat-room brides in this day and age), and I have to be honest and say that when I see a birthdate for a husband being in 1936, and the birthdate for the wife being 1977... honestly, yeah, that does set off my "creepy as hell" alarm. Are the rest of you actually okay with something like that?? Especially when the couple has never met before, and one person flies across the world to get married to a total stranger... and there's a massive age difference... I just don't know how I could live with that. Each to their own, clearly.

I could not have said it better myself Sultana.


my brother in law is married to a woman 17 years his junior... she was 14 when they met, he was 31 ... he married her after she turned 17 her mother had to sign minor emancipation papers.............. They have been married 11 years now... and the Ick factor still remains because she still acts childlike and he treats her like that.... Their couple dynamic is pretty wierd for all of us to be around and that has not changed with time.

Seeing this situation has skewed my views on age differences, I personally would not go more than 8-10 years in either direction... but in the end... it's the couples' decision, not mine.

Thanks,

sweetpea

In high school when I was a kid we didn't think anything of a senior (usually 18) dating a sophomore or junior (now a senior guy dating a freshman girl was kind of looked down upon but not that badly). Hell, there were junior, senior girls in school dating college guys, and we didn't really think much other than the girl was a slut. And things were completely different for the girls, a senior girl could date a freshman guy no problem, or a guy could date a girl in college and be envied.

I have dated women older and younger and as long as we can relate and have fun and enjoy the same things it never mattered.

My first wife was 12 years younger, LadySage is 10 years younger.

First wife was a bitch and left me for a woman. LadySage and I get along pretty well.

Old or young, I don't really have a problem with it as long as they are mature about it.

Only time I cringe about age is if one of the parts are underage, otherwise I'm of the mentality: "each to his/her own". If both partners are happy then who am I to judge their relationship.

Hmm, I think that as long as the two of you don't have a problem with it then you will be fine. I think it depends on the type of relationship you have. I am 11 years older than my boyfriend; with me, I was more shocked with his age when we first got together and felt a little "creepy". He assured me that age was just a number and didn't matter. My family and friends made the little snide remarks and things, but I just ignored them. For him, he became a little more concerned when we got more serious and his family kept telling him that I was a phase. We even broke up over it for a little bit.
We have been together for a year now and have BOTH gown up a lot. I feel that women are looked down upon more for dating younger men. The only difference that should matter at all is if the couple wants children. Men can keep producing children well into their 80's where women have a much shorted time frame. This has been a concern of mine due to the fact that I am 32 and don't want to rush my s/o into anything he is not ready for yet.
We deal and things are great between us.

Anyway, people should just stop criticizing others and work on themselves for a change. Don't worry what others think and all will be well.

Bogart and Bacall. Wow.

i am 50 and my wife is 26. i dont want a wrinkly old lady. i want a tight young one.

Creepy username/post combo of the year right here, folks.:thumbsup:

Shh.... I'm trying to get a visual. You're scaring it way....

Agreed. I think one of Honesty's comes in a close second, though.

Creepy is as creepy does.
There are too many variables dealing with an age difference to make a definitive statement as to yay or nay.

I used to only date older men, around 4 to 5 years older. I am currently dating a man 7 years younger, we have now been together 3 years, and fall more in love everyday. It's not perfect, and at first we had to get though a lot of crap to get to where we are now, but it was all worth it.

This sounds incredible...woman older than man? Not seen so often

so I'm 31 and this 27 year old thought I had some sort of complex that it would make me feel good to date a younger woman. I looked at her like she was out of her damned mind.

Yeah hey awesome, glad you're 27, I was just there in what seemed like months ago, ya know? besides I've had 20 year olds try to get up on my ass before so no, it's def not a trophy complex with me.

I just figure it's a maturity thing, if a 20 year old comes up to me and can discuss philosophic concepts with me, see the world in an aged way, and not mention their twilight addiction every 20 minutes, they might pass as being older, but most 20 year olds just make me want to take my head and jam it in a waffle press repeatedly.

My wife plans to screw our pension plan by re-marrying a 20-yo when she's 112, then dying 2 years later and letting him live on half her pension (survivorship rights).

While I don't mind the idea of her doing this, I am somewhat concerned that she has completely written me out of the picture at some point before that. I am now watching what she cooks me VERRRRY carefully!

I had hoped to see a comment on this from Woody Allen, but it appears that he was too busy attending the birth of his next wife.

in 90% of cases, age is not a factor at all. other than legal issues, i see no big deal. ive dated older (up to 10 years) younger (up to five) and the only real benefit i see either way is that, the closer to age you are, in my experience, the closer you are in your life stage. if you are in the same life-stage at different ages, then go for it. what's the big deal anyway.

The only "icky" thing in life is that it is short.
Age is only a number, love is everything and not everyone finds love in their life.
If you do, grab onto it and don't listen to narrow minded people.
I have seen many people of a similar age squabble every week and couples with a big difference in age enjoy every day.

I think it's fine if two people are really attracted to each other, they should be free to do what they want. People can fall in love and there's nothing they can do about it. There's nothing inherently wrong with it per se - I would never go that far.

But there's lots of pitfalls, I feel, and I think it's harder to have a longterm healthy relationship (that meets my goals, anyway, i.e. partnership, equality, stability, mutual respect etc) if you are not in the same age range. Regardless of age, the tone of the relationship needs to be healthy, and Sweetpea points out one example where it probably isn't.

I am never comfortable when the tone is that of the older partner somehow being a parent figure for the younger. I feel the younger partner is in a situation where they're inhibited in their growth into a mature adult human being, because maybe the older partner is making more decisions. I had a gay friend who was in an unhealthy relationship like that - the older man liked that role, they met when my friend was young, but my friend realized eventually that he felt like a puppy or something, so he had to end the relationship, and it was hard at the time because he didn't have as much confidence as he does now.

I also worry that if two people are at the same maturity level but one is 40 and one 20, a) are they really perceiving things correctly, and b) if so, won't the 20-yr-old outgrow the 40 yr old, and mature more quickly. Sort of silly, I know maturity growth is not exactly linear, but I feel the odds are against you in that regards.

The other thing that can be unhealthy is older guys who only find themselves attracted to younger women. I have a single male friend in his mid-50's, and he does not pursue women in his age range. I think it's pretty immature, and yea a bit creepy, if the CRITERIA for even having a date is "I'm not going out with anyone over 45." That's when I start thinking maybe he ended up that old and single for a reason.

Overall, I find it way more natural and conducive to a long-term relationship if the couple is relatively close in age. In fact my wife is about 7 months older than me... but the point is, that wasn't really on purpose, you look for the connection between people.... it has to be there. The age really shouldn't be part of the criteria either way. And let me say, I don't mean to attack people who are in fact having these relationships. :) Please enjoy! You are the best judge of what's right for you.

Ex-husband is 65, I'm 31 (my dad is 60), and my ex-husband's new wife is 20. Do I win a prize? *bats eyelashes*

Yes, you win.

Call me to collect your prize. ;)

*picks up her phone and dials 1-800-THE-JAZZ* hi, Mr. Jazz? yeah, I'd like to collect my prize please. =)

I'm 53 and my wife is 23 so maybe I get the prize. *No eyelids to bat*

Nope, i had 34 years, sorry. *puts on her soup nazi voice* no prize for you, come back, five years.

I'm 34, my guy is a few days shy of ten years older.
It seems like a lot when I think about it.:paranoid:
But not when I'm with him.:)

Lindy

for me it would be any woman the same age or younger than my daughter
I'm 55
she's 24

(My girlfriend is 55 so no problem)

Age is only a problem when the younger one is 17 or younger, period. When a young girl or boy is initiated into the realms of sex at an age where he/she is not prepared to take the responsibility of life without the knowledge of living it outside of being some older creeps sexual object, then instead of creating a being who understands their own sexuality as theirs, you end up creating a sexuality that always seems to belong to someone else. Most girls of the age 17 and less are more then willing to try and make a man happy, it is what they are taught by society and the whole princess fairytale, young girls are vulnerable to older men, especially older men who know how to disguise abuse in "it feels good", once a girl turns 18, age no longer holds the stigma for me of abuse, but anything younger than 18, especially younger than 16 to me is ICK, unless we are talking of two 17 year olds, two 16 year olds or two 15 year olds etc.... When a human body is sexed, it is like turning on a switch that cannot be turned off, if that switch is activated at too young of an age the initiation of the sexual sensations elevate with age and distort the ownership of the physical awareness’ into it belonging to somebody other than its keeper. Instead of having sex because it feels good to you and the relationship feels right and loving, a young girl will have sex to fulfill that need that has been created from the inappropriate desire to feel that “good” again; the stimulation of sex becomes less of an owned experience of love and more a necessity of a “drugs” high as well as the need to “make” happy the other person more so than the "child".

Any person over the age of 18 who knowingly and willingly seeks out the attention of a child 16 years of age or younger is devoid of maturity and is a molester of innocence, it really is that simple. Any girl who seeks out the attentions of a man over 21 at the age of 16 or less has already been initiated into the realms of sexuality (in some form) and is seeking a fix for her body and/or mind and has grown to enjoy and hunger for the results of said attention, be it physical or mental, so all those of you who say it is o.k. for older man to have sex with a minor because people mature at different levels are simply making excuses for sexual abuse of minors, if the relationship is a valid one than the older person should allow the younger person to mature and develop a sexual identity of their own BEFORE they assume one for them. I am speaking only of minor ages here, 17, 16, 15 and younger. Once a person hits 18, (both physically and mentally) age no longer plays a role, but up to the age of 18, only those within the realm of minor age themselves should be sexual with other minor ages, period.

I understand there are many men who find young women attractive and desire that form of relationship, as long as the woman is 18 or older, I don’t care how old the man is, or vice versa, just so long as it is legal.

My younger sister is 17 and she is dating a guy that is 24. At first I felt pretty uncomfortable with the age difference (as did the rest of my family) even though my sister is known for being very mature for her age. It also didn't help that my boyfriend is younger than hers, and I'm four years older (I'm 21, he is 23).
However, after actually seeing them together I actually defend their age difference to everyone else. My sister and her boyfriend are probably 1 or 2 years apart in terms of their mental age.
Although I think it really is a case by case thing (as many people have said here :)), it does get difficult trying to convince other people that the 7 year difference is not that big of a deal

I went back to school this past year and I felt a little weird when 18-19 year old college girls gave me a look.

I'm only 25, too.

I probably would have felt like a bit of a creep if I had pursued anything with any of those girls.

I dated a guy who was about 15 years older than me when I was 25 , I found it kinda hot at times , like oh yeah daddy give it to me hehehehe but Im also attracted to nerds, Im just attracted to who Im attracted to , I see someone and Im not wondering how old he is and yada yada Im just hoping he likes me back and he is single and doesnt have baggage or kids

Sounds like a silly-assed girl that you wouldn't want to date anyway. 4 years is nothing. She's probably still impressed with the things she and her friends did in high school.

It all really depends. I mean if the young person is 22 years old then the older age doesn't really matter, unless the older person is like 90 years old. Of course, to each their own right?

tbh, the possible gap gets bigger the older you get. when you are 20, 7 years is quite a gap, so dating a 13 year old is a bit of a push. but I imagine when i'm 35, I could happily date someone who is 27. I reckon its because most people reach a point where they have matured enough to handle bigger age gaps.

As for waiting for someone to get older, i dunno if there is ever a point. if you are in to someone who is on the younger or older side you just gotta get over it if you can. i was with an 18 year old. I'm 23. she loved having someone with more experience take control, i found her enthusiasm great. I didnt expect to enjoy it as much but had a mad good time and would do it again. depending on the girl of course.

im new here by the way. hi!

I am 43 and love men that are in their late 20's up to their early 50's. Hubby is a few years older than me. I think of you are comfortable, who cares. If your dad and his new wife are ok with it, you should embrace it. But if it falls apart, do not tell him "I told you so!"

V

Apologies if this has already been mentioned

But there IS an iron rule in regard to these matters

The youngest person it is acceptable to sleep with is half your age + 7

I'm 32, so the best I can get is a 23 year old. Thats all right.

I know how you feel, I'm 26 and I work at a college.
If your concept of personal relationships involves math, you're doing it wrong. I'm amazed anyone sticks to that "rule" past high school.

Its not my idea. As I said, its an iron rule

Of course to any rule there can be exceptions, but on the whole it works pretty well

For example, the youngest age you could date is 20. Doesnt that sound about right?

id say for teenagers, no more than a year, maybe 2 at very most and in your 20's, no more than 3 years

It all comes down to how old you are in the head.If someone else finds it creepy then they need to grow up. The biggest obstacle is interest and memories. If your older you have experienced most of what the other person has and more. This is remedied by bringing these things to the other persons attention. It goes the other way too. The younger person needs to educate the other in current pop culture that may be overlooked by them.

I know it's not your idea, I still think it's ridiculous. I'm 26, by that "rule" I should stick with 21 to 38. I'd be OK with 18 to around 45, but if I had to say I'm looking for a certain range, I'd go with 21 to 35. Anyone over 18 (age of consent for adults around here) with an adult of any age is fine with me, by then the chance of psychological harm from a big discrepancy is a thing of the past.
If you meet in high school, no problem. 18 and 14 is going to be a stretch because of the difference in maturity, but a senior and a freshman isn't going to raise any eyebrows. Met in college? sounds about right.

The largest extreme age difference I've seen is my mother's cousin (is he my cousin or uncle?), who is 20 years older than his wife. They've been married for 22 years now, he's in his 60s and she's hot at 40-ish, with 5 girls and a nice house in the hills.

I have generally associated with women slighly older than I am. Oddly, my companion now is 70, while I am 57. It works well with us. I have been with her for five years, and because I contacted MS and am now bedridden, am likely to stay with her for life.

Sex ended about two years ago, which suits us both. One of the dugs she takes suppresses her sex drive, and I am no longer able to perform that way. The hand still functions, but I do less of that as the years roll on.

She is probably the most intelligent person I have ever met, and certainly the best educated. A bachelore, two masters, and a doctorate. She's run the Lewis Walpole Rare Books library at Yale University for seven years, and is still probably number three in the world in her field, although she retired about three years ago. Her normal entertainment is opera and ballet, so I introduced her to football on TV. She asked about a ruling on one play, so I told her that she really needed to get herself an education.

Intelligence has always been more important to me than a woman's age. In her case, I am not sure why she hooked up with me. We knew even befpre our relationship started that I contracted MS and would become bedridden. We did have a common interest in wanting to write a fiction book on the same subject, which we have never done, but we get along. Her being excessively liberal isn't even much of a problem as I can always find a reason why her hero Obama is as defective as they get.

What I wonder is how would you react when your 18 year old daughter brings home a 36 year old boyfriend or older (possibly even your age - possibly even a guy you knew in school)? Would you still have a "as long as you're happy" response? Or would your creepy-sense start to tingle? The reality is that we live in social networks, with accepted norms. Sure, you can distance yourself from that network to an extent as an adult (especially in western culture), but once you have children you re-enter society. Apply your principle in a "my daughter" scenario for a check on consistency.

This is where the (x/2)+7 rule is useful. It accounts for the legal premise, but also safeguards societal norms.

When she is 18, she is an adult. It is no longer my business to impose my values on her life.