06-17-2007, 04:36 PM | #1 (permalink) |
I Confess a Shiver
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Oh, hey! I have a penis! AWLRIGHT!
Okay, let's say that you're a 16 year old male named... oh... uh... Krompson. Yeah! Good hypothetical name.
Also: You're what they call a "real late bloomer", since Lego bricks and pre-VGA video games and MSDOS occupied your life 24/7 until finally the hormones revolted all-up-in-here crazy like the Maccabees. Previously you had simply thought girls were just weakling boys with long hair, a taste for pastels, and toting these oddly-desirable chest-mounted fat deposits. Now, you don't really know what to do with the constantly ranging bat of reproductive might throbbing in your pants until you touch it in that oh-so-special Winchester 1300 12 gauge pump action shotgun manner. Chck-chck! Then... it's on like a batch file in DOS five-oh. No... wait. I w... Nope, I still suck at telling stories. Here: Basically: Who else had a first masturbation experience with a Newport News women's clothing catalog at 16? I guess part of the appeal was that the women had clothes on and more imagination was required. I only bring it up because I saw one of the catalogs on the floor in an office. Aaah, memories. |
06-17-2007, 04:43 PM | #2 (permalink) |
I'll ask when I'm ready....
Location: Firmly in the middle....
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No wonder I'm so fucked up. My dad had Playboys laying around.....
Oh, and I found my penis WELL before 16.....
__________________
"No laws, no matter how rigidly enforced, can protect a person from their own stupidity." -Me- "Some people are like Slinkies..... They are not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs." -Unknown- DAMMIT! -Jack Bauer- |
06-17-2007, 05:52 PM | #5 (permalink) |
Mistress of Mayhem
Location: Canton, Ohio
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I am not a man but try this one on for size.
You have a hole, you know that when you get the hornies you can stick something in it to "scratch" your proverbial "itch". This started for me around 16. Now, imagine not having your first orgasm until 19 or 20 and then wondering wtf had just happened. Ahh, the bliss of having parents old enough to be your grandparents that never talk about sex. Oh, and being so nerdy that you really have no friends.
__________________
If only closed minds came with closed mouths. Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open. It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch. |
06-17-2007, 06:33 PM | #7 (permalink) |
Mistress of Mayhem
Location: Canton, Ohio
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Look at the bright side, we lived, we learned and we are all better now.
__________________
If only closed minds came with closed mouths. Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open. It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch. |
06-17-2007, 06:40 PM | #8 (permalink) | |
I'll ask when I'm ready....
Location: Firmly in the middle....
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Quote:
Let's just say that my teenage years through the 80's were chock full of visual stimulation..... (Be right out! Thwak thwak thwak)
__________________
"No laws, no matter how rigidly enforced, can protect a person from their own stupidity." -Me- "Some people are like Slinkies..... They are not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs." -Unknown- DAMMIT! -Jack Bauer- |
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06-17-2007, 06:56 PM | #9 (permalink) |
Confused Adult
Location: Spokane, WA
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self discovery for me came in the form of having a highly perversive friend basically talk about sex all the damned time, one time going so far as to talk about his sexual experiences in great detail (he was 3 years older than me).
then one day telling me that he discovered masturbation, informing me how it was done, and letting me figure out what it was supposed to feel like. you know.. probably bad, but I was so young that nothing ever came out, I just had an interesting full body seizure instead. interesting experience, conservative parents.... oh well. |
06-17-2007, 07:36 PM | #10 (permalink) | |
Psycho
Location: Australia
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Quote:
This will no doubt generate some questions, but I had my first sexual experience when I was just 7, and it was with another boy Then when I was 8 there was a girl who lived down the street who was a play friend. We used to, eeeeer, touch and show eachother things. It was strange, it was something that as a child I felt great shame about. This days I don't know what it means. I've just put it down to kids being curious. Strangely enough, I don't think I started masturbating until I was 13.
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You are not a slave |
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06-18-2007, 05:03 AM | #12 (permalink) |
Mistress of Mayhem
Location: Canton, Ohio
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Perhaps I should change my title to Miss Prude?
__________________
If only closed minds came with closed mouths. Minds are like parachutes, they function best when open. It`s Easier to Change a Condom Than a Diaper Yes, the rumors are true... I actually AM a Witch. |
06-18-2007, 07:44 AM | #13 (permalink) | |
Cautiously soaring
Location: exploring my new home in SF
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Quote:
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Patriotism means being loyal to your country all the time and to its government when it deserves it. --Mark Twain Do What makes you happy --Me BUT! "Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness" - Chuang-Tzu |
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06-18-2007, 08:10 AM | #14 (permalink) |
We work alone
Location: Cake Town
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Wow, 16... That's 11 years later than my first time (that I can actually remember).
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Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques |
06-18-2007, 09:55 AM | #15 (permalink) |
Big & Brassy
Location: The "Canyon"
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I definately was playing "I'll show you mine, you show me yours" with girls & boys at around the age of 6 or 7, but it wasn't sexual in nature, more curiosity than anything else. Especially since I was one of only 2 boys that were not circumsized, that I was aware of.
It was around 12 or 13 I was alone in my room, thinking about how lucky girls were because it was so easy for them to simulate sex. After more thought, I discovered that my hands pressed palms together made a rather suitable simulation of a vagina. I kept my hands still and used pelvic thrusts at first, it didn't take long to perfect the single-handed, wrist-action method from there.
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If you have any poo... fling it NOW! |
06-19-2007, 03:35 AM | #18 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: Spring, Texas
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No sears catalog for me. it was the latest issues of Cosmopolitan that I swiped from the waiting room of a doctor's office. even when I was 10 the Cosmo girls weren't wearing much!
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"It is not that I have failed, but that I have found 10,000 ways that it DOESN'T work!" --Thomas Edison |
06-19-2007, 04:21 AM | #19 (permalink) |
Please touch this.
Owner/Admin
Location: Manhattan
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i still remember the magazine page we found in the woods...
she had boobs... and a huge clit.. like a tiny penis
__________________
You have found this post informative. -The Administrator [Don't Feed The Animals] |
06-19-2007, 08:08 AM | #20 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: under a rock
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I couldn't even FIND my vagina until I was about 16 and looking with a flashlight and a mirror, and I didn't figure out how to put anything in it until I was more like 17--not even tampons. Then I didn't figure out orgasms until I was 19 or so. Haha Crompsin I beat you for lateness of bloom!
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There's no justice. There's just us. |
06-19-2007, 08:18 AM | #22 (permalink) |
Lover - Protector - Teacher
Location: Seattle, WA
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Accidental shower spray and a surprising bodily reaction when I was 13 or 14.. and then some spring-wear magazine for women my mom had. Then I found my dad's Penthouse collection (nearly 20 years worth).
Life has never been the same since.
__________________
"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel |
06-19-2007, 02:10 PM | #24 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Location: Toronto
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Quote:
30 years later, still going strong. I hope that never changes. |
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06-20-2007, 07:16 PM | #25 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: Florida
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Oh man. I'll share my experience just because I think it's funny. I think I was around 8 or 9 when I first really paid attention to what was going on in my pants every so often, and...I'm not even kidding...I thought it was a super-power I had acquired somehow, and that I was the only one with the gift. Of course, I kept it a secret...Didn't want the word to get out about my super-power. I imagined myself running around dressed like Superman (my hero at the time), getting in some trouble where my arms were tied up behind my back, and I would surprise everyone with Junior reaching out and knocking out the bad guys (at the time I didn't know there was a limit to the growth...I thought I would be able to train and make it longer...Haaaaaahaha...If only ) .
Soon after, to my satisfaction, I figured out how to "control the power". I then completely forgot about knocking out criminals. I acquired other inspirations... 3 years later, there I was, with the TV stuck on the scrambled (porn) channels, while I desperately hoped and dreamed that enough of the screen wouldn't be scrambled so that I could see some damn nipple. Most of my efforts were futile, but every once in a while, the scrambling messed up and most of the channel was shown...Oh, how I savored those moments...Fast forward to 1998, when I discovered the internet. Things have never been the same. This is going to make for a great (drunken) bar story one day
__________________
I have my own particular sorrows, loves, delights; and you have yours. But sorrow, gladness, yearning, hope, love, belong to all of us, in all times and in all places. Music is the only means whereby we feel these emotions in their universality. ~H.A. Overstreet |
06-20-2007, 07:42 PM | #26 (permalink) | |
Big & Brassy
Location: The "Canyon"
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Quote:
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If you have any poo... fling it NOW! |
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06-21-2007, 04:39 AM | #27 (permalink) | |
Devoted
Donor
Location: New England
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Quote:
"Blue, blue, electric blue..." I still remember that theme song...
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I can't read your signature. Sorry. |
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06-24-2007, 03:41 PM | #28 (permalink) | |||
Tilted
Location: In this flesh and bone thing
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[QUOTE=archetypal fool]
Quote:
This is so hilarious because before I was serioulsy taking matters to hand, I used to reckon I would be the next great armless ninja. Quote:
How much is too much masturbation? Is it when you have to actually ask? Quote:
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06-24-2007, 04:07 PM | #29 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: Florida
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To be honest, I didn't even know about porn on the internet when I first started using it. I remember the day I discovered it perfectly: I did a search on MSN for Dragon Ball Z (back when it was popular), and one of the first few hits was cleverly disguised as "The Best Dragon Ball Z Pictures on the Internet", but it was something else entirely. I don't know what the pictures on the site had to do with DBZ, but for me they were, in fact, the best pictures on the internet. That is, until I did a full-on search for porn. Keep in mind that this was in the mid 1990's, the glorious age when everything on the internet was free...No pay sites!
__________________
I have my own particular sorrows, loves, delights; and you have yours. But sorrow, gladness, yearning, hope, love, belong to all of us, in all times and in all places. Music is the only means whereby we feel these emotions in their universality. ~H.A. Overstreet |
06-25-2007, 07:53 AM | #31 (permalink) |
Lover - Protector - Teacher
Location: Seattle, WA
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I remember figuring the odds of me guessing my parent's 4-digit cable password (1 in 10,000) so that I could watch Showtime and HBO late at night. What a glorious day when I finally got it. And thank you "Emmanuel." She was always on, and a lot of times she was in space.
__________________
"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel |
06-26-2007, 03:47 PM | #34 (permalink) |
Crazy
Location: Florida
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The American public prefers seeing people get shot in the face and blown up in prime time TV, but a single (accidental) nipple will raise all hell. It's a truly stupid system, I think.
__________________
I have my own particular sorrows, loves, delights; and you have yours. But sorrow, gladness, yearning, hope, love, belong to all of us, in all times and in all places. Music is the only means whereby we feel these emotions in their universality. ~H.A. Overstreet |
06-26-2007, 06:55 PM | #36 (permalink) | |
warrior bodhisattva
Super Moderator
Location: East-central Canada
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Quote:
__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot |
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06-27-2007, 04:49 AM | #38 (permalink) | |
Location: Iceland
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Quote:
__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran |
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Tags |
awlright, hey, oh, penis |
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