Originally Posted by Crompsin

Okay, let's say that you're a 16 year old male named... oh... uh... Krompson. Yeah! Good hypothetical name.

Also: You're what they call a "real late bloomer", since Lego bricks and pre-VGA video games and MSDOS occupied your life 24/7 until finally the hormones revolted all-up-in-here crazy like the Maccabees. Previously you had simply thought girls were just weakling boys with long hair, a taste for pastels, and toting these oddly-desirable chest-mounted fat deposits.

Now, you don't really know what to do with the constantly ranging bat of reproductive might throbbing in your pants until you touch it in that oh-so-special Winchester 1300 12 gauge pump action shotgun manner. Chck-chck! Then... it's on like a batch file in DOS five-oh.

No... wait. I w...

Nope, I still suck at telling stories. Here:

Basically: Who else had a first masturbation experience with a Newport News women's clothing catalog at 16? I guess part of the appeal was that the women had clothes on and more imagination was required. I only bring it up because I saw one of the catalogs on the floor in an office.

Aaah, memories.