cunnilingus....!

[katyg]

hey everyone,
bit of a funny one really, i've been with my boyfriend for 2 years, generally i'd say we have a fab sex life and both really enjoy it. i have had few partners from previous serious relationships but i'm by boyfriend's first serious relationship.

when it comes to cunnilingus i don't get much and when i do he always loses his erection, this has started to make me feel guilty about asking (whereas he asks for oral frequently and i enjoy giving it). we carry on having sex after and i always enjoy it but the fact i get the feeling he doesn't get a kick out of it puts me off receiving or asking for it and makes me feel a little insecure (previous partners always found it a turn-on)...what should i do? not worry about it or bring it up? i'm quite an insecure person about my looks generally and i suppose i worry a little it is a reaction to me and not the taste of woman! haha!
x

[lankrypt0]

Chances are he is just not into it, not every guy is. I've dated quite a few women who HATED giving blow jobs, and it did nothing for them. The only advice I can offer is to make sure you are clean and showered. I love going down on women and am always up for it, but can be turned off if the person is dirty and/or smelly. If it really bothers you though, ask. The key to a good sex life is communication. =)

[The_Jazz]

If its important to you, bring it up. If it's not, don't.

If you don't tell him, he doesn't necessarily know. You're responsible for telling your partner how to help you reach orgasm. If he's not willing or able to follow instructions, then you've got a bigger problem than not getting your carpet munched properly.

Communicate, communicate and communicate. Then communicate some more. Once that's done, then you can see how your various parts fit together in the most pleasurable ways possible.

[miko]

Like previously said, you need to communicate with him and find out what's going on, but just because he loses his erection doesn't mean he is not enjoying it. I tend to go soft sometimes while down there but it's usually because i'm really concentrating on what I'm doing, making sure it feels as good as possible for her. And I'm enjoying every minute of it.

[pig]

ok, so if sage were posting more, she'd tell you to both read The Guide to Getting it On.. My guess is he doesn't know what he's doing, so he's nervous (loses erection) and and confused. you need to find a way to help him learn how to make your motor go vroom vroom vroom...it's not really all that intuitive for beginners.

so communicate...but you're probably going to need to teach him how to do it if he doesn't a problem with oral sex. if he does...

edit: i swore too much...all this colorful language...me oh my! i just like cursing...as roach might say: mea culpa.

[Caitlain]

A lot of guys just get to where they concentrate so hard on what they're doing that they lose the erection as well.

Have y'all tried 69? That might be a solution.

[Scheme]

he's either not into it, or he just doesn't know what to do and may be afraid of asking? There are some good resources on the net for satisfying a woman, and god good the benefits of doing it well are awesome

[gustaf00]

What kind of feedback do you give while he's going down on you? Good visual or aural stimulation might keep him turned on if you can't reach physically. Personally, I enjoy giving but if it's just me hanging out between a girl's legs while she sits quietly I'm going to lose interest eventually.

[pig]

incidentally, we've discussed techniques here on ye olde tfp...might help him out a bit...clinic

[longbough]

Originally Posted by pig

incidentally, we've discussed techniques here on ye olde tfp...might help him out a bit...clinic

Thanks for remembering that thread. I've been thinking of writing a follow-up with more specific advice for the male student of cunnilingus, but I haven't had the time.

[Ourcrazymodern?]

I can't imagine going soft doing cunnilingus. Maybe his pheromone receptors are off-line or something?

I'd guess "or something". No offense, maybe you want something else.

[Redlemon]

Originally Posted by miko

...but just because he loses his erection doesn't mean he is not enjoying it. I tend to go soft sometimes while down there but it's usually because i'm really concentrating on what I'm doing, making sure it feels as good as possible for her. And I'm enjoying every minute of it.

Exactly what I was going to mention - this is true for me as well. However, if you were with me you would know that I enjoy it, and you don't seem to be getting that reaction from him. So I suspect that your perception is correct, even if the evidence is not.

[JStrider]

I enjoy it, but often I do get soft while giving it... *shrug*
I always figured it was just cuz my penis was expecting some attention and then it has to wait a bit, but now that its mentioned its probably because I am concentrating on her.

[james t kirk]

Originally Posted by JStrider

I enjoy it, but often I do get soft while giving it... *shrug*
I always figured it was just cuz my penis was expecting some attention and then it has to wait a bit, but now that its mentioned its probably because I am concentrating on her.

Me too.

And I LOVE going down on a woman. Only constraint is that she be clean. I'm not talking surgical, just fresh.