Another guy meets girl dilemma
 

Yes, another guy with girl problems. Here is a bit of history. I have known this girl for a about 2 of years. We ahve common friends and the first time I met her she had a boyfriend, so though I liked her I didnt act out on my feelings back then. About 6 months ago she becomes single. We meet up at a party(common friends) and we get talking a bit of flirting. A couple of days later I call her up and ask her out, I get a yes. The date never materilizes as when I call her up next time to give her the details she doesnt answer my calls. I try a couple of times but nothing. About 2 months later we meet up at a party. We get talking again, (I never ask her why she didnt answer, dont want to seem to be cornering her), this time we make out. And am pretty sure I have gotten something going. I call her up two, three days later we talk but she is busy so I call again the following day, no answer, ring the next day no answer. ring again a couple of days later, you guessed it no answer. Time goes by (have pretty much given up on her by then) and a couple of days ago I meet her at the gym. We get talking. She leaves and i leave. A few days later we meet at a party. We get talking, again. I ask if she wants to grab a coffee sometime. But she wont be in town for a month but promises to call me when she gets back. (yeah forgot to mention that she is in town on the weekends only everyother week. I really like this girl and my first impresion was that she was also in to me but will she call me up? Should I call her up? Am I beeing toyed around with? WTF is going on here? PS. Its been ages since I felt so strongly about a girl. Its not as simple as just moving on. Am guessing this will be the closest I will get to readind her mind.

No need to mind-read, she's telling you loud and clear what she doesn't want.

Sorry dude.

I have to agree with Sultana.

Run away and don't look back!

(aka you're being politely let down)

She's one of those people who's too "nice" to say no to your face. That tends to cause a lot of confusion and heartburn, but her not taking your calls is a very clear communication.

I guess it was pretty obvious. Deep down I was just hoping

Well, first of all, do a little soul searching and find out if you want her so badly simply because you cannot have her or if there is something deeper about her that attracts you. It's difficult sometimes to get that distinction clear, and there is a good chance that you want her so much just because you can't have her. I think all guys go through this at some point, and it's hard to get over. The girl gets built up to something shes not, the unattainable woman that all (hetero) men desire, the holy grail.

But if it's not that, then don't giving up, man! Rethink your tactics, and keep trying.

I agree with ratbastid... a lot of girls would rather just say nothing than give you a straight-up answer.

It sounds to me that she might like you, but not be interested in anything serious. Perhaps you're coming on too strong, so if you really aren't ready to throw in the towel, I'd try keeping things light and not hint at an actual date. It sounds like you have success with her in group settings, so try inviting her to a gathering of some kind that isn't a party... whether it's you and a bunch of friends going ice skating or going to a concert or movie... just something less formal than the two of you sitting alone forced to talk one-on-one, haha.

I think dirtyrascal7 has it right Give that a try and see what happens

Sounds like a friend I know. She got out of a rough relationship and spends all this time talking about how she wants another relationship yet at the sight of any good guy, she makes out, and bails.

Basically, she isn't ready for a relationship yet she can't make herself understand /admit it. SO...all the good guys she clicks with she makes out and runs from and all the guys who aren't good for her, she'll make a second or third appearance, make out and run.

Don't know if that's like your girl here but if I were you, I wouldn't hang my hat on it. She's not into a relationship and she might not be for a long time. If you want a relationship, look for someone new. If you want a random make out buddy, I think you found the right girl.

I met a gal like that. Her days in drill team have taught her to always smile. Even when she's fighting with me. It's really wierd.

But dude, just make out with her at parties, but don't call her.

Next time you see her at a party you should get her really drunk and fuck her in the bathroom.


She'll answer your calls after that.

In his case, fucking would probably mean rape, and I wouldn't recommend that.

I always forget that not everyone has my sense of humor.

I knew you were joking.

I really wasn't joking.


The girl is obviously kind of a whore (I mean that in the nicest possible way). Give her what she wants and she'll call for more. If she just wants to fool around with random guys just make sure you're always that random guy.

There's still the problem of her not wanting it from him. Therefore your advice makes no sense, short of rape.

It never hurts to ask.

Also true.

Just realised something, 95% of the time we meet am pretty much drunk and acting crazy(I mean am a number one jackass). It could be that she likes that but not the sedated sober person that I am in reality. Or that she has seen every crappy side of me, from me running around in girls clothes to puking through my nose and she doesnt want a piece of that. Makes me think of a new thread that I could start up.

yeah that's probably a pretty good reason there buddy (the puking through the nose thing)

But man the reality is that she only is in town every other week and she probably doesn't want to put up with some sort of long distance relationship with someone she only sees at parties and occasionally at a gym from time to time. You might like her, but it seems pretty clearly a physical thing at this point by your own admission you're drunk when you see her most often and so your perception of who she is is probably pretty distorted.

All guys find some girl that they would love to get with because they are just very very attracted to them, and it's just not meant to be.

Suggestion from me is to just move on and put her out of your mind.

Yea man. Drop it. Even if you did start something.. every other week on weekends? Not gonna happen.