What is wrong with this girl (or me), please help!
 

Backstory: I thought this girl was my friend, she had a boyfriend but then apparently they broke up. In class SHE asks me to go to the gym with her, I say hm ok. But sensing this was some weird trick I decided to call her ex boyfriend and tell him that she asked me to go to the gym with her. Then tonight I get this crap on MSN (sorry for the msn speak):

me: i dunno, everyone just seems to be upset with me or something
her: no , how can we be? did you give any of us a reason to be?
me: not that i know of
me: so what about the gym thing? u still wanna go?
her: how the hell did you even imagine in a million years that I would actually go with you!!!!!
her: that was a foul move
her: now I know who you are
me: lol what do u mean
me: u asked me, i didnt ask u..
her: I asked you for one reason only!
her: I was curious to know if you'd tell my (ex)bf
me: haha what
her: I would have never went anywhere with you without my (ex)bf
me: lol i knew it was a trick
me: loll
her: not even know that me and him are friends
me: did i pass?
her: no you didn't
me: how come?
her: you should've said hell no from the beginning if you had any respect for either me or exbf
me: hm? i thought friends go to the gym with friends
her: not girls with guys
me: how come? since we both know nothing would happen
her: it's the principles
me: ;/ dumb
her: no it's not
her: because honestly ... I can't stand you ...
her: I couldn't stand you from the moment you asked me if I wanted to be friends with you or more than that
her: that takes guts but that's not how it's done
her: and you never took my signals
her: you just proved to me what kind of a person you are ...
me: ? i thought we would just go to the gym then work out and leave
me: its nothing major
her: NEVER!!!!
me: o well
her: and not any guy
me: thats fine
her: not even for a coffee
me: lol ok
me: so u cant stand me eh? hrm k
me: this will be remembered

so how exactly am I at fault here? she asked me to goto the gym and I was supposed to say no? what? I thought I made it clear before that we were just friends..Is she just crazy?

You did nothing wrong. I'd stay away... FAR away from this girl.

well the girl as obviously wired really differently...but Im a little confused as to why you felt the need to report her asking you to an EX...stressing the word EX bf?

She's insane, that's all there is to it. Why would you ask her exboyfriend about going to the gym with her? It's of no consequence to him, especially if you're just going as friends.

because once they "broke up" and i wanted to be nice and asked her to come to the movies with me as a friend since she was upset..then the same day they got back together and I got threatening phone calls from the boyfriend for asking her to the movies..

Well I thought we were going as friends but I decided to call him anyway to make sure it's alright with him, it was weird that she invited me, I guess I wanted more info about it..

I also just found out that she blocked and deleted me from MSN and also her cell phone...What the hell did I do to this girl to make her hate me so much :| Also since we go to the same school and I want to be on good terms, is there anyway to fix this mess?

I love it. This is the main reason why I can't stand younger women.

She is insane. Completely insane. She's into game playing and using her 'girl power' to fuck up guy's brains for fun.

She hates you? Good, take that as your reason for staying away from her. :)

hmmm...when i read this, i thought more along the lines of "she got stone cold busted, her ex said something to her about it, she's now trying to cover her ass." seriously... a test? to see if you'd go to the gym with her? that's about the stupidest thing i've heard of. if she wanted to "test" you somehow, offer to suck your dick or something. and who in the hell "tests" people? answer: no one. i really wouldn't worry about this too much. is her ex a friend of yours? what's his opinion of her? is she just smoking hot or something? i couldn't be around someone like that for more than a few minutes, voluntarily...but if that rule was bent, it would have to be because she was just infuriatingly attractive to make up for apparent lack of intelligence or logical facilities. at least that's my take based on this limited exchange.

She's mad at you for no real reason. Girls are the only ones that can do this. Guys seem to need a reason to not like someone. Girls just do it. Wake up in the morning and can't find their fav pair of undies and the first person they talk to is the Devil. It's a wonder that we've survived for so long. I'm amazed I've ever had sex. Or anyone for that matter.


Fuck her. If she wants to be a moron and play games then you need to drop her like a crack habbit. Unless it's really good crack with a nice ass and great tits and there is a chance that you can fuck it later on down the road...

Forget about her, seriously. my first impression is that this girl thrives on drama. As far as school is concerned, I would treat her as any other girl on campus that I did not know and wasn't terribly interested in, that is I would be polite, but indifferent.

no. there is nothing you can do. Her inviting you to the gym was a retarded little test she gave you to see how you would react; there may not have even been a way to pass it. If you you somehow manage to patch things up you can expect many more tests and bullshit and hoops she would want you to jump through, most of which the sensible, reasonable reaction will be the wrong answer.

Just move on

they broke up but are still friends I guess. The main problem here is that we both have a few classes together and have the same hangout spot on campus where we meet up with our friends..and she is also friends with some of my friends. I would rather patch things up than have her forever hating me.

see, i don't think it was a test at all, unless she has a history of stupid-ass histrionics like this. i think she made that whole bit up after the ex called her and said "so why in the fuck are you inviting old Afterburn to the gym, anyways? He called me to ask about it. What the hell are you doing? You wanna fuck him? Is that what this is about?" If he threatened to beat your ass for asking her to the movies, after they were broken up and/or if you asked her to go in a casual way...they're probably both idiotic drama queens and you'd be best to steer clear.

Unless you've just got your heart set on fucking this chick. If that's case, best of luck. I can't think of a woman hot enough to put up with that junk unless you just happen on to her at party or something. If so, wear your standard-edition Richard Nixon mask and deny it ever happened afterwards.

edit: saw your post. regardless, put her on mute. acknowledge her existence, read the paper. talk to someone else. when she talks to you, answer her questions and move on. i personally wouldn't put up with that shit, and if she realizes she's not pushing your buttons it'll probably just blow over. if either one of them confronts you about it, i'd just tell them you don't have time for this bullshit.

Yeah I'm sure the ex called her and complained. But if they broke up, why the hell should it matter? and why didn't she say that yeah she was going to go to the gym with me as friends or otherwise, they're broken up anyway. Why such hate for me anyway?

What happened with the movie thing is that that broke up and I asked her to go to the movies with me as friends, then at the end of the day they got back together and the boyfriend called me and was bitching to me for inviting "his girlfriend" to the movies and how it's none of my business if they broke up. I didn't want this to happen again so I played it safe and called the boyfriend, he was ok with it but she went insane. Does this make sense?

Would it be safe to still be around them? Would it still be ok to hang out with her ex boyfriend, he said he didn't have a problem with any of this since she asked me..Would he also have something against me because of her hate for me?

There is a life lesson hidden here.

Don't interact with crazy bitches. :)

Wow how old is she like 14? Sounds very childish and immature. Avoid her at all cost!

I agree with the general feeling here - she's a pure gold plated nut job.

As the song says "run to the hills".

haha I knew she was crazy from day 1. But I guess I don't have to do the running since she's blocking/deleting me from everywhere..I wonder what she will do in school on Monday.

any predictions? :D

see, in my opinion this is your mistake. other than as an instructional exercise, don't worry about figuring out why people do stupid shit. he may have just mentioned it to her, he may have given her the 3rd degree over it. people do stupid shit when emotions are involved. regardless, if you're trying to figure out why she did anything she did, it could very likely be that you're caught up in some fucked up codependent game they are playing with each other. i've seen this shit before. the girl in question shat in her own closet one night because she was too drunk to make it ten feet to the bathroom. that's not smart. these people don't make the kind of decisions one might expect. they are wily like that. you have limited information. you are likely to always have limited information. what you can say, or at least i can say, is that this shit is fucked up. i'd drop it there and worry about something else.

my take is classic alpha male shit. he saw you moving on territory he felt he still had some claim over. it does sound to me like you were making the first moves to get into the panties. how long had they been broken up? my guess is that he didn't consider her to be stale yet. it also depends on how tight you and he are. sounds like you're part of the same circle, but not really tight. that's a tough situation to navigate. i'd say steer clear...but again, her making the move to ask you to gym...i see no way you should feel bad about that in the least, or worry about any of this kgb test horseshit. that sounds like rationalization on her part.


safe to be around them? you'll find out. will he have something against you? my take is 50/50, depending on whether or not they hook up again. even if he doesn't really have anything against you, they'll probably manufacture some as a part of the bond between them if they're getting it on. its hard to hang out with a chick, when she sees you and says some crap about you trying to get into her shorts. he either gets into an argument with her about how ridiculously stupid her position is, which keeps him from getting laid...or he agrees with her and things move along. pussy trumps kind-of-friend every time.

edit: edit, Afterburn, i forgot the obvious solution. she was trying to make the ex jealous by inviting you to the gym, and/or making the appearance of being interested in you. maybe she is attracted to you, maybe she's not. regardless, who broke up with whom? particularly if she got dumped, she was looking to piss him off, and/or get him back.

I think she got dumped, but not too sure on the details. But if she was trying to make him jealous then it looks like her plan worked since he knows that she asked me to go to the gym. Why then the hate for me?

because she's being irrational and melodramatic. if that was her plan, then now that she's done with it, she wants her hands clean. the best way to do that, from a rather juvenile standpoint, is to push you away. the best way to do that is to be a bitch. i doubt its really a conscious act, but that's my experience. if people want to forget something ever happened, then they tend to treat it in ways that will most likely result in not having to deal with it.

Maybe, except that her plan probably backfired and the ex boyfriend told her to go away and she's taking her anger out on me. Oh well, her choice.

She's an infant for playing this game.

You're an sucker for getting hung up on her playing it.

The only person who comes out of this looking good is the ex-boyfriend.

When you're a bit older, and the women you're interacting with are a bit older, you'll see this all for the trivial soap-opera drama that it is. Trust me: you don't WANT to salvage this one. She's not worth salvaging.

Oh, I know that, I don't really care about her but I do want to make my time at school enjoyable not miserable.

Whoa. Reminds me of games with my ex. And they were child's play compared to this.

Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.

Well if this was a game to her the only thing she accomplished is maybe getting shit from her ex. I lose nothing (I think).

I agree wholeheartedly that you should distance yourself from them, seek companions elsewhere and concentrate on the classwork. Leaving this drama behind is the utmost goal.

You asked what will happen on Monday during your next class together.

I suspect that not only will she ignore you, but that she will make a big attention grabbing production of ignoring you. Expect lots of noisy paper shuffling and chair shifting and strained head turns.

Enjoy it as a comedic performance out of the corner of your eye, and keep to yourself. Don't get drawn in or react (her goal), but focus on your work instead.

If she does confront you, repeating her indignations and so on, for goodness sake, don't try and argue with her or try to reason with her as you've done here. She'll be sticking to her outraged script and baiting you. Just look bored, exude closure and try to let her Jerry Springer routine pass harmlessly through you.

Of course, she could skip the classes altogether. Win for you and yet more evidence of immaturity from her.

Thanks for the advice. What about the ex boyfriend, should I also stay away from him? Should I let him know about this incident?

I'm not really clear on how intimate your prior friendship was with him, but in any case, I'd stay open to him, but not hang out with him.

In other words, be friendly, say "hey" when you see him, but let him initiate any conversation or activities rather than you. In situations where you run into the two of them together, say at a party, acknowledge him with a knowing "what can you do look?" and the girlfriends unpredictable behavior can become your shared little joke.

Otherwise, steer clear and give them room.

Worldking, sometimes it works the other way. Sometimes girls just don't randomly hate somebody...they just randomly sex up people too. I still remember a girl who didn't like me just out of the blue changed. It was...interesting.

/walk away scary lady

/threadjack

heh, thats the stuff romance novels are made of Konichiwaneko, sometimes extreme dislike turns into raw lust hehehehe Its happened to me with more than one person

//que nerd

Also happened to Riker and Ensign Ro! Rar.

Knowing that though, Afterburn the best thing to do is be true to yourself. Girls can be random like this, but guys can do.

Situations like this is why some people say girls and guys just don't understand each other.

I agree. She is a crazy bitch.

I think this sums up everything in this thread perfectly.

yeah man this Girl is Nuts, If she didn't already block you on IM already I would have gotten her off your buddy list fast.

She's off the page.

It's kind of impressive really. :D

haha, impressive how? I'm still sort of sad that I somehow got someone to hate me this much..I was always nice to her and all then bam, I'm enemy #1.

Afterburn,

That's how crazy works. If we could make sense of it, it wouldn't be crazy. Whatever her reason for treating you the way she did, it was still crazy. Honestly, the only thing I could say to you is to wash your hands of her. Many years ago, I might have been thinking over this like you are now. However, the person I've become now wouldn't think about it anymore.

If she approached me to talk to me on Monday, I'd be honest and say, "Listen. There was a time I thought maybe we could be friends, but let's face it: You seem to have a serious personality disorder. I am wasting no more of my time on you. You can leave now."

I mean honestly, do you really want to be friends with someone like this?

Excellent point. Thanks! :)

Update: Today at school, I went out for a smoke but I forgot my lighter so she came up to me and started trying to light the cig for me.. she then said "sorry for being such a bitch" I said ok and left..And avoided her for the rest of the day..What the heck

Good man.

She's an ass. You can give her that message from me if you want. I've been to the gym many times with friends who are female.

I would continue to take the advice of your friends here. Stay away from her. she's not worth your time, effort or anxiety...

Umm, keep avoiding her... for the rest of your life, if possible. Quit trying to understand her... girls like that are tar babies. The more you try to get a handle on them, the stickier they become. They want to draw you into their madness and trap you with their issues. So the more energy you put into asking "Why?" or "WTF?", the more you are drawn into her little manipulative game.

The only way out is to completely cut her off, stop trying to figure her out, and move on from the friendship and any attraction you have to her. I mean, do not allow her into your life whatsoever. Coming from a female perspective, I can tell you that this is one messed-up bitch. Even if she admits it out loud, it doesn't mean she's self-aware enough to be involved with. Stay as far away as possibly, especially mentally/emotionally.

What are the signs that she's a messed up bitch so I can watch out next time? I understand something is not right with her if she considers going to the gym with a guy some sort of hook up attempt, but then again, I called her ex and she over reacted..She's defiantly not worth the time or energy but is there a reason for her apologizing to me after deleting me from phone/msn and saying she couldn't stand me? Or is it just madness?

Look man, with women like this, you'll never find the reason. THEY don't even know the reason, but they want you to think they know, so that they can drive you crazy with finding it out. That's why you have to stop asking why she's behaving like this, realize it is has NOTHING to do with you and everything to do with her issues, and chalk it up to madness and general immaturity. Drop it, man. Stop asking questions. NO, seriously. Stop.

Your best strategy is that whenever a girl starts messing around, don't put up with it. Say something like, "Ok, now you need to STOP", and walk away. If she's normal (meaning slightly irrational like most of us girls can be), she'll realise you refuse to get messed around, which will increase her respect for you, and possibly even attract her to you... that's happened to me more than once.

And if she's bona fide crazy, well you just saved your ass a hell of a lot of trouble.

Am I the only one with a gut feeling Drama Queen and the Ex will get together again soon?

One way of spotting psychos like this is that they take center stage all the freaking time. Normal people move in and out of the spotlight in group situations, allowing for all to say or do their thing to some extent. Psychos don't. They demand attention constantly.

Another very weird thing I noticed with her is that she always talks about some problems she has, ''oh my grandpa is dying'', ''my grandma ruined my childhood'', ''my dad found out about the ex and now won't speak to me''..It's very weird that 75% of her conversations are some sort of problem. I think she's trying to play a victim or something? Anyway, I'm just trying to be friendly now while keeping away from her, she's always trying to argue with me which is pretty odd and I don't really care anyway since I hardly see her anymore.

I disagree that she's crazy... crazy people aren't as common, and she reminds me of many people I knew back in high school. However, she is extremely unstable... which is almost worse. Crazy people are at least entertaining, unstable people just make things miserable. And you can't try and use logic to understand either type of person, they run on pure emotion.

Anyway, I think you have the right idea... just try and remain neutral. Good luck.

well something is defiantly wrong..today during class she didn't say hi to me or anything but kept gazing at me, I didn't return any of her gazes and tried to read the newspaper without having to look at her then after class I left to have a smoke and she didn't show up even though she usually does. Then after the next class I decided not to go to the library where she always is but instead outside, then she comes out and doesn't come to the usual spot and just leaves. It seems she's provoking me to approach her but when I don't she avoids me or something? Did I do the right thing by avoiding her altogether?

The right thing to do is stop thinking about her, whatsoever. Don't think about her schedule, or what she's trying to get you to do, or what her problem is. When you get to the point where she's not even a blip on your mental radar, then that means you've stopped caring, which is the right place to be with this girl. She doesn't deserve for you to care about her, given her actions.

2 cents.

We go to the same school and have the same class, it's hard not to notice her..I just want to be friendly and not have to avoid anyone and not have anyone avoiding me. I really just want to call her and say hey I wasn't trying to ignore you or anything I just want to be friendly without the drama. But I'm afraid that would just create more problems.

Afterburn, I urge you to reread jj's post earlier. And abaya's. The chick is whacko, and caught up in some alternate melodrama world that you don't want to understand.

YOU ARE CHOOSING THE WAY OF PAIN!!!

you're not avoiding her very well if you know when or where she is not at times you know she's supposed to be there. It seems to me like you're sort of fascinated with this chick because you don't understand her and are thinking way way to much about the whys.

Sometimes people just act crazy. Who knows what this girls problem is, but it seems to me that you're just way to interested in why she 'hates you' or whatever her issue is. You just need to let it go and realize not everyone you meet is going to like you, not every girl you meet is going to be sane or know exactly what she wants out of a man.

move on

LET GO. She is NOT capable of being "friendly without the drama," alright? So stop trying. Just stop.

I'm not trying to be harsh, but seriously, you have no idea how "into this" you are. You are wasting so much energy on someone who does not deserve it. She certainly doesn't deserve 53 posts on an internet forum, alright? That's how much energy you are putting into this.

Simply... not... worth it.

Maybe the 54th post will convince you TO MOVE ON!

She's not worth your time. She's not worth your effort. She's not worthy of being your friend. Find someone else. There is no friendship possible here without the drama. She's told you that. You've seen that. Move on. There's nothing to see here.

yeah I wouldn't even bother.

People like attention, even if it's from someone negative.

The question now isn't about her acting strange. You okay socially Afterburn?

Afterburn - girls often play these games to see how much attention they can get out of a guy. It's like a cat toying with a mouse before destroying it. She's a cat. Don't play... you'll get hurt.

If he is not bright enough to see through her Bullshit games,
then F**K him too, he is a moron.

this girl is fucking with you . Stay away. Go drinking with her ex bf.

AfterBurn, after considering this for a long time, I was harkened back to this link I saw a long time ago. For some reason, it sounds strangely appropriate.

haha funny letter, but we are not even together so this is not even a break-up...I'm just trying to solve this mystery so that next time I know exactly what to do if some other girl tries the same crap. I also learned not to phone ex boyfriends ever. Maybe I can learn more.

It's really not a mystery. Well, I'm a little mystified as to what you find mysterious about it.

"Ouch, that snake bit me!"
"Why did it bite me? I just wanted to play?"
"But why would it want to bite me?"
"How do I recognize other snakes so I don't get bit again?"
"Uh oh, I think another snake might bite me, I stuck my hand in it's snake house."

...

Was gonna say "snake hole", but I didn't want you to get the wrong idea. :lol:

what's mysterious about it is that she's either totally playing me or is crazy or I'm misunderstanding something here..I will most likely just continue on avoiding her and assume she's just crazy, since that's what everyone is saying I should do

<.<
>.>

Afterburn, think hard about how this wo. . .girl acts. Do you have a list in your mind? Good. Now, use this list to evaluate other females. If they openly exhibit even 3/4ths of the traits this one does, ignore them completely.

Also, you may "go to the same school", but you don't have to be sweet and nice to everyone. Forget her schedule, Where she goes for smoke breaks, etc. She does hate you. Why? Why do you care? She is obviously not stable, and not worth feeling bad over. Forget her. What is wrong with her is she has a set of her own rules, and she will not tell anyone what they are ever. If she did, her game would end. Once again, just in case you didn't get it forget that she exists. You'll be happier, I assure you.

LOL Worlds King. I love reading your posts...

Riker?! Ensign Ro?! Holy crap, I think I just had a nerdgasm.

Other than that - just ignore the crazy chick. Don't avoid her, but don't interact either. Don't try to understand, or 'fix things'. Just leave it alone.

You managed to handle the whole situation so well! If it was me, I would have got my daggers out on msn. What a bitch! Any way, I think maybe you are analysing this so much because you were never nasty back to her. However, ignoring her, and pretending everything is normal is wonderful revenge :P just leave it at that. Soon it will all be forgotten xD

hehe thanks so much for all your help!

well, not much to update, I started sitting away from her and I hardly see her around anymore and it's been great. She still hangs around her ex boyfriend though, but whatever.

Good work, AB. :)

I hear ya. Mind games galore.

You're better off without. Better yet, condolences to the (ex?) bf.