humiliation story... and how to get over it? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Strange Famous · 10-21-2006, 10:45 AM

Well... Ive been seeing this girl for about six months, and now I find out that she was also seeing her ex boyf (or not so ex perhaps) on and off throughout it, and now we have broken up over her refusal to stop going round his house and staying the night there.

It's... idk... in an objective sense I can see like its a good thing to end this way if it has to end, cos after the first kind of shock of her absence, at least Im not gonna be wanting her back... but right now I just feel shamed, humiliated.... like, almost I feel like everyone in the world is taking the piss out of me.

I mean, Im not saying I want to turn violent over it and go and hit the guy or anything, but I just feel bad and like Ive been made a fool of and there is no way to get back.

ngdawg · 10-21-2006, 10:54 AM

There's a saying that I will twist about for this: No one can make you feel like a fool without your permission.
There are jerks, assholes, boneheads, users, players, fucktards, liars....and we have all had at least one in our lives.
Be thankful that A) you did not catch a disease from this bozo-ette and B) you were wise enough to at least to demand some respect. The fact that she did not give it speaks more about her than you.
Now, had she still said no and you said, 'ok, then I'll just take what you give me', then yes, you'd be a fool.
You're not one.

blahblah454 · 10-21-2006, 03:07 PM

I agree with ng all the way. I think walking away was the best thing to do. I know many a man who would not of walked away and taken what she was giving. I think you did the best thing for the situation. Whenever I am confronted with situations where women make me feel like that I try to just go out with the boys and have some dumb fun. I mean dumb fun like go bowling and laugh your asses off, I find laughing will make me forget and feel better about myself.

eribrav · 10-21-2006, 03:23 PM

ng is right AND she used the word fucktard in a sentence, which is worth double credit.

goddess_otu · 10-21-2006, 07:57 PM

As a person that has cheated and has been cheated on, I feel qualified to say: You have no reason to feel humiliated. I don't mean that in a "your feelings are not valid" type of way, I'm just saying you didn't do anything wrong. And I agree with ng too. and she does get kudos for saying "fucktard". Rock on.

ratbastid · 10-21-2006, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ngdawg

There's a saying that I will twist about for this: No one can make you feel like a fool without your permission.

Seconded.

This might sound harsh, but... You're "humiliated" waiting to happen, my friend. I say this with all the love and compassion in the world, becuase I'm the same way. But anything that doesn't go 100% your way, you'll turn into a "humiliation story". Maybe it's not that at all. Maybe something just happened. Maybe all the "humiliation" is over with you.

DaElf · 10-21-2006, 11:44 PM

If someone cheats on you, are'nt they the ones who are supposed to be embarrased and feel like an idiot? Cheating is not ok, even though it is some what socialy accepted. It's not your fault that that girl can't get her head straight about who she wants to be with. It's hers. In my opinion it is way more shameful to be a cheater than to be cheated on.

Brewmaniac · 10-22-2006, 02:18 AM

Similar thing happened to me, a girl asked me for a ride home from a college class, she didn't want to go home right away she suggested parking. I thought ok, give the girl what she wants. We kissed a little and then alot(strangest kisser I ever met, didn't open her mouth) A little latter she says she needs to go home. Ok. A few other nights she asks for a ride, she wants to kiss, then she tells me she is engaged to be married. I gave her one more ride home and said congratulation and be happy and good bye. I did feel bad, but mostly because I did'nt get into her hot pants! I know I'm a pig and a horn dog. Sorry for the thread jack!

maleficent · 10-22-2006, 06:44 AM

It was Eleanor Roosevelt... and the exact quote is "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. "

She also said: "If someone betrays you once, it’s their fault; if they betray you twice, it’s your fault. "

Your choice how to procede...

Gonth · 10-22-2006, 07:59 AM

Restating the overwhelming opinion, but yea, it's definitly not your fault man. If she isn't going to respect you then that's her choice. You can't do anything about it. You found out what she was doing and solved the situation. There's nothing you could have done differently. I'd recommend finding something to get your mind off it.

Hope ya feel better

jpmck03 · 10-25-2006, 12:32 PM

doncalypso · 10-27-2006, 04:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strange Famous

Well... Ive been seeing this girl for about six months, and now I find out that she was also seeing her ex boyf (or not so ex perhaps) on and off throughout it, and now we have broken up over her refusal to stop going round his house and staying the night there.

It's... idk... in an objective sense I can see like its a good thing to end this way if it has to end, cos after the first kind of shock of her absence, at least Im not gonna be wanting her back... but right now I just feel shamed, humiliated.... like, almost I feel like everyone in the world is taking the piss out of me.

I mean, Im not saying I want to turn violent over it and go and hit the guy or anything, but I just feel bad and like Ive been made a fool of and there is no way to get back.

Dump the ho, forget her phone number, and no matter how much she tries to get in touch with you to "work things out" break off all contact with her forever.

I completely understand how you feel about being the laughingstock of town, but people will respect you more for breaking it off with her and walking away after you found out she was cheating. If you walk but later go back to her, then you will have earned yourself the title of village idiot and will truly be the laughingstock of town.

The bottom line is that this chick never really digged you to begin with since she kept her no-so-ex-boyfriend in the background. Therefore, you have no reason to stay with her, and if you ever find yourself tempted to go back to her just remember the humiliation she caused you and allow yourself to build resentment over what she did do you so that the thought of going back to her makes you want to puke.

10-21-2006, 10:45 AM	#1 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	humiliation story... and how to get over it? Well... Ive been seeing this girl for about six months, and now I find out that she was also seeing her ex boyf (or not so ex perhaps) on and off throughout it, and now we have broken up over her refusal to stop going round his house and staying the night there. It's... idk... in an objective sense I can see like its a good thing to end this way if it has to end, cos after the first kind of shock of her absence, at least Im not gonna be wanting her back... but right now I just feel shamed, humiliated.... like, almost I feel like everyone in the world is taking the piss out of me. I mean, Im not saying I want to turn violent over it and go and hit the guy or anything, but I just feel bad and like Ive been made a fool of and there is no way to get back. __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas

10-21-2006, 10:54 AM	#2 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	There's a saying that I will twist about for this: No one can make you feel like a fool without your permission. There are jerks, assholes, boneheads, users, players, fucktards, liars....and we have all had at least one in our lives. Be thankful that A) you did not catch a disease from this bozo-ette and B) you were wise enough to at least to demand some respect. The fact that she did not give it speaks more about her than you. Now, had she still said no and you said, 'ok, then I'll just take what you give me', then yes, you'd be a fool. You're not one. __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

10-22-2006, 02:18 AM	#8 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Similar thing happened to me, a girl asked me for a ride home from a college class, she didn't want to go home right away she suggested parking. I thought ok, give the girl what she wants. We kissed a little and then alot(strangest kisser I ever met, didn't open her mouth) A little latter she says she needs to go home. Ok. A few other nights she asks for a ride, she wants to kiss, then she tells me she is engaged to be married. I gave her one more ride home and said congratulation and be happy and good bye. I did feel bad, but mostly because I did'nt get into her hot pants! I know I'm a pig and a horn dog. Sorry for the thread jack! __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

10-22-2006, 06:44 AM	#9 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	It was Eleanor Roosevelt... and the exact quote is "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. " She also said: "If someone betrays you once, it’s their fault; if they betray you twice, it’s your fault. " Your choice how to procede... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

10-22-2006, 07:59 AM	#10 (permalink)
Gonth Upright Location: Home sweet home is Decatur GA, but currently schooling in Rochester NY	Restating the overwhelming opinion, but yea, it's definitly not your fault man. If she isn't going to respect you then that's her choice. You can't do anything about it. You found out what she was doing and solved the situation. There's nothing you could have done differently. I'd recommend finding something to get your mind off it. Hope ya feel better __________________ You are the most important person in your world

10-21-2006, 03:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
blahblah454 Let's put a smile on that face Location: On the road...	I agree with ng all the way. I think walking away was the best thing to do. I know many a man who would not of walked away and taken what she was giving. I think you did the best thing for the situation. Whenever I am confronted with situations where women make me feel like that I try to just go out with the boys and have some dumb fun. I mean dumb fun like go bowling and laugh your asses off, I find laughing will make me forget and feel better about myself.

10-21-2006, 03:23 PM	#4 (permalink)
eribrav Junkie Location: upstate NY	ng is right AND she used the word fucktard in a sentence, which is worth double credit.

10-21-2006, 07:57 PM	#5 (permalink)
goddess_otu Upright Location: Houston, TX	As a person that has cheated and has been cheated on, I feel qualified to say: You have no reason to feel humiliated. I don't mean that in a "your feelings are not valid" type of way, I'm just saying you didn't do anything wrong. And I agree with ng too. and she does get kudos for saying "fucktard". Rock on.

10-21-2006, 11:44 PM	#7 (permalink)
DaElf Tilted Location: Washington	If someone cheats on you, are'nt they the ones who are supposed to be embarrased and feel like an idiot? Cheating is not ok, even though it is some what socialy accepted. It's not your fault that that girl can't get her head straight about who she wants to be with. It's hers. In my opinion it is way more shameful to be a cheater than to be cheated on.

10-25-2006, 12:32 PM	#11 (permalink)
jpmck03 Tilted	~~ Last edited by jpmck03; 07-28-2011 at 09:39 AM..