girls @ clubs
 

i was at a club last weekend, dancing with random girls, and i started thinking. if you're dancing with someone you dont know and get excited enough to get a little woody, do girls usually mind it? i was kinda trying to hide it but maybe some girls like it and i should let em feel it. i know it depends on the girl, but given that the girl is already dancing with someone who's name she doesnt know, it says something about her. what's the general concensus here about this?

You hit it, right there. It depends. I doubt there's any sort of consensus. You'll have women and girls who don't appreciate it and think it a bit creepy, and you'll have women and girls who think it's absolutely fabulous. That said, my belief is that you'll find the majority believing that it's nothing unnatural and, while flattering, could easily become creepy if taken too far. One of those "sure, that's okay.. for right now.." beliefs.

But I could also be entirely wrong. Just my two cents.

Holy Crap. I'm about the most liberal minded gal I know, but if some guy I didn't know came all up ons at the club with a hard on.... that'd just be creepy as hell. My suggestion? Keep it in your pants until she takes them off!

I know this sounds warped... but it depends if I find him attractive or not, and my mood. If I'm in a really weird mood, there's something about being with someone I don't find attractive.

Not warped, funny!!!

This is an intereting question, though it does beg another question: what level of control do you have over yourself? Have you tried thinking of baseball and sandwiches? Does that only make it worse? If that doesn't work, try tighty whities. You can actually be charged with sexual assault for something as inncent as what you're talking about. Seriously.

not coming up to you with a hardon, but getting one after dancing with you for a bit. i tried thinking of random crap but it doesn't do much. i mean it's not like a full blown erection, it's just a little woody, but it's something she can probably feel.

I think that most girls don't like that. I certainly don't. Dancing with a guy I don't know can be purely fun, with no sexual interest at all, just because I like to dance and if he dances well, why not? I wouldn't mind if I find him attractive and if he asks me for a drink I'll say yes, but a guy I don't know having a hard-on and flaunting it at me would scare me off. I'd find it a bit creepy and probably run. But of course, it depends on the type of dancing, and of club, and of girl, right?

My wife has the same fetish. She's strangely aroused by the thought of being touched by a gross stranger...

I can't explain how much this made me laugh... I'm probably the only person that finds this funny, sorry

If I were a woman, I think I'd find it kinda creepy. However, it would have to be a situational thing. Is the guy completely blitzed? Is he attractive? If it were some slob I would have to say it's disgusting. However, if the guy looks clean then it might be acceptable. This is kinda weird, though, since I'm not actually a woman :)

cheers

Every woman I've asked say that as long as the guy didn't already have a hardon when he approaches her, and as long as said man is attractive.

Me? I dont try to hide it. Not one girl has been scared away, none have said anything.

mmmmmmmm sandwiches.

I hafta ask, what DOES it say about her? All kinds of girls like to go dancing at clubs. I mean, for myself, that whole era in my life that I went dancing at clubs and grinded with strangers was when I was a virgin in all senses of the word, and had only kissed one guy (we are talking from age 21-24 here). So I don't know how much you could say about me then, if the only thing you knew about me then was the shape of my ass. :lol:

At the time, I was exploring some new aspects of my sensuality, but I was also going for the fun and attention. If a guy went too far with his "attention" :lol: , that was definitely kinda gross, especially if I was just letting him dance with me for one song and then go back to the bar with my friends (yes, it happens). I suppose if I found him to be very hot, I would be a little less harsh... but I would NOT go home with someone like that, just because it would be a bit scary. But some of my friends would do something like that, and some would be very turned on by a cock pressed into their pants at a club. So, it really does depend on the woman.

Now, let me say that I :love: love it when my boyfriend gets a hard on because of me... :D that makes my day/night/whenever. I never get tired of that action! :suave:

Agreed. It's just creepy.

of course my assumption is not absolute. but generally girls that are willing to do that are more liberal than those who dont. besides, i'm not trying to take anyone home. unless she's funner or better looking than the others, i wouldn't even ask her name.

No offense, but your assumptions are just wrong. I have not met a single girl who doesn't like to dance, and some of the staunchest virgins are the freakiest on the dance floor.

I think if I like a guy enough to be rubbing up on him on the dance floor, then feeling a wood should be no problem.

However, if said guy is rubbing his wood on me.....um no. That is not good.

Umm, I think it's kind of creepy. I never did a lot of clubbing in college pretty much because of things like that. I love to dance and party.




I must second both! I have friends that would love it and probably do. And I love being responsible for my husband getting that way around me. :love:

It's unfortunate that women find a guy getting an erection while dancing with them creepy. I do understand how it would be kinda weird, but if you are close enough to tell if a guy is popping one or not, you are close enough to cause one! At least have some sympathy for how easy it is for a guy get an erection, and dont totally discredit a man just because you managed to give him an erection at a club while dancing all sexy and close up on him. It doesnt mean he has any wrong intentions. It just means he's a normal healthly guy.

From personal experience sometimes I just can't help it. Especially if she starts grinding into me. If she gets turned off by that as she pushing her rear into me, then she probably shouldn't be trying to excite me like that, intentional or not. However, a few girls I know love that feeling and just keep dancing when that happens and sometimes continue that way for an hour or two (very uncomfortably I might add :lol: ).

Some of them (just the really nasty ones) might take it as a compliment to their attractiveness, because they take a long time getting ready to go out, but other than that most will think you're a perv. So hold your horses until your rifle is polished and ready for combat. Good luck!

Hmm. I'm mixed on this one. I'm not really a dancing type of girl. Too uncoordinated. I have only danced up close like that with a previous boyfriend while I was drunk. I would never grind myself up against some dude I didn't know. After all, if he popped an erection I couldn't really be too surprised could I? It just wouldn't be fair. Plus why would you wanna grind up against some dude that you didn't find attractive? I think Demonism is probably alright if he continues to dance after he gets a boner. If the chick says its sexual harassment, what is she going to say when he says that she was grinding her ass on his dick and there are x number of witnesses?

Just make sure you watch her body language after you get an erection. If she indicates in anyway that she's freaked you should probably just find a new dance partner. Apologize and backoff at that point.

I asked a friend of mine if, in his experience, women mind if that should happen. He said, "mind? Seriously? Why would a girl be dancing and grinding her ass into my crotch if she minded that something happened?"

And he's a man-whore. He's danced with a lot of ladies at clubs. If they're already dancing with you, and you salute them, a good 99% consider it job well done on their part. Why else would they be dancing and grinding their bodies on your crotch? :)

That is the same with me, I don't go out very often (~4 times a year), but I am a normal looking guy, and am healthy. I can't really control it.

I have had a girl dance/grind with me for an hour and a half. Let's just say some of the blood wasn't in the head on top of my shoulders. The biggest problem I had was that after, I got in my car and my balls were killing me from getting squashed by her ass.

Dude you never let the snake out unless he's sent an invitation. Otherwise it's just creepy.

I think he had more of a trapped snake in mind. Letting it out in a public place is a definite no no. Unless you're on a nude beach or the featured male stripper. :p

i dno't think he's "letting the snake out' just "letting the snake bump against the cage" kinda like jr high.

What kind of world are we in where a woman can grind up on your crotch for upwards of 30min moving in a very sexual way... and some men feel compelled to apologize for what occurs naturally.

I've never seen a woman apologize for getting wet on a dance floor (it DOES happen), why would we?

It really does depend on the lady. I get nervious, I feel sorry for the guy! After I feel something I don't dance too close to him anymore, so that he does not know that I know that he's gotten too happy I dont want him to feel bad.
I never liked it unless it was my boyfriend at the time. I would love to have my hubby do it now mmmmmmmmm.

I find it to be a tad creepy if I'm dancing with a guy and I can feel an erection. Most of the time I'm not even grinding on them and I will just happen to accidentally brush against that area and feel it. I don't like that. I especially do not like it if I am dancing, the guy grabs my hips, pulls me against him and grinds his erection against me. This is why I usually just dance with my friends that are girls. However, if I'm dancing with my boyfriend I will try to give him an erection because I want him turned on and thinking about what we will be doing later.

lol. me too. But I did have this friend that would love it she would grab there manhood even if it wasent hard lol she was really freaky.

The first sentence of the OP is four words too long.

What do girls think is going to happen when they grind their ass into a man's crotch?

Umm, the girl doesn't always initiate it. I don't ever remember walking up to some random guy in a club and sticking my butt in his crotch.

However, there were MANY times when a random guy would come up behind me (when I was dancing with my girlfriends) and start grinding on my ass... which pissed me off and grossed me out, especially if the guy seemed desperate and horny. If the guy had a hard-on as well, he would have gotten an elbow straight to the stomach, if not lower.

If a guy approached me from the front and got my permission before going around to my backside, okay, I appreciate that, and I probably wouldn't mind if he ended up with a boner after a while.

Now, there's also the issue of what kind of dancing is going on. The OP didn't specify if it was always bump-and-grind, but let's say I go salsa dancing (which I have done) and end up dancing with some guy. If he got a hard-on while doing that, I would feel grossed out.

Sure, rubbing one's penis on a girl's backside with a few layers of clothing in between is going to induce an erection. But dancing with space in between and still getting a hard-on?... no, that's just gross (unless you're my boyfriend :lol: )

Okay, THAT, I can agree with. If it's not sexual rub against each other dancing, it's weird. If it is, it'd be weird if he didn't end up with a boner. And everyone has different standards/reasons to dance either way when out - no one's wrong for what they're comfortable with. 'Nuff said.

No shit. It's not creepy if a guy gets an erection dancing. It's creepy if he starts dry humping you with it and you aren't into it. There's a difference, and it bothers me to see all these girls fail to acknowledge it.

Precisely. This is what confused me so; the OP was talking about a hapless erection you can get from dancing up close with someone you find attractive. It's not like you can help it. Somehow a lot of women in this thread seemed to interpret that as some random guy dry-humping them...

What type of sandwiches are we talking about? :)

The description provided by the OP gives me an image a man and a woman dancing, rather closely, and the man develops an erection. The woman notices it AFTER they've been dancing and reacts -- how?

I responded to that image in my original post. However, now it seems that the image has changed to a lone woman dancing and being accosted by an angry man with a raging boner, like a shaggy old dog mounting a random stray in heat.

Big time. I've actually gone as far as living out the fantasy a few times.

Actually, I did acknowledge it, and I think a few others did, too. My problem was that some of the guys on this thread assumed that girls were the ones "sticking their ass" in some guys' crotch, uninvited, and that this was causing a boner... and that the girl shouldn't be offended if that happens. Well, duh. They shouldn't be offended.

But that's not usually the case (though I'm sure it happens). My point was that usually the guy initiates it, and sometimes the guy doesn't get the idea that you're not interested in his boner (e.g. he chases your ass halfway across the dance floor) until he gets a couple of sharp elbows to the stomach. :rolleyes:

Well, I'm taking it as a guy and a gal are dancing together, close enough that he gets excited and she can tell, via sight and/or touch. In that instance, for me, as long as the guy isn't coming AT me with it, or blocking me from leaving, then I'd consider it a natural event, and hell, why not--a bit of a compliment. And I can see it happening during Salsa dancing, I don't see why that would be different. But I should note that I've never, EVER "dirty danced" with a guy not my hubby in a club. I don't like it and don't care to watch it either, really.

However, if some guy comes up to me and starts pole-vaulting AT me, without my consent, nuh uh. But I have to say that's not at all how I read the OP.

Ok here's what's what. Apparently you're not the type to roll up to a guy and dance with him by sticking your ass in his crotch, and that's fine. You must have friends of similar dispositions.

The pure fact of the matter is, a large percentage of the rest of the club-going females DO. I don't know why you're unaware of this, but they do. A lot. Overwhelmingly the majority, in fact. I don't care how many females come out in this thread and say they don't and have never seen it, you're either not catching it or you're lying to yourself. Because it's VERY common.

To be honest, I've heard of plenty of girls who will grind up on a guy's crotch out of nowhere, unprovoked- but no one's going to call a girl grinding her ass into your crotch creepy, even if she's horridly unattractive.

And yes, there are those guys that initiate it, but that's not what we're talking about. We're talking about a mutually-enjoyed dancing experience between two people already in progress, pre-boner, and THEN the man develops an erection. That's what's being discussed here.

And yes, it's ok to allow the natural process of sexual arousal when someone is intentionally rubbing their ass on your crotch. If they freak out, they must not know what the penis is there for. ;)

thanks to everyone for all your input. this has grown to a pretty funny thread. most of you are right about my intentions. i dont go around with my wang out, poking girls with it. i'll usually just dance next to a girl and i wont even touch her until get a sense that she wants to go further. usually they'll either let you know by putting their ass in your crotch, or they'll go hind behind their friends. so a few minutes of ass in crotch action and i'm ready to salute with my hands behind my back. it's not even that much up, just a little, but enough so she can feel it. i used to hide it, but now i'll see what happens when i let em feel it.

Duuude. Why is this thread sounding like an argument? I think pretty much every woman here has said that if they were attracted to some guy, and he was into them, and showed his appreciation with a little salute... fine with us. I don't think anyone's debating that (including me). I don't think I said I was unaware of that fact, my friend. :) I simply said that I did not do it, and that it was *usually* the case that men initiated these things. Also, I said in my first post that I have friends who would certainly do lots of things that I would not do, including sticking their ass in some man's crotch and going home with said man later on. Not my thing, but whatever they want to do is their choice. I'm not saying I'm unaware of the behavior, but that yes, I'm not really into it. Is there a need to argue about such preferences?

Well no shit. Did I disagree? If so, it was certainly not intended. I doubt anyone would disagree with that.

It seems most of the reaction in this thread is split down gender lines, about totally different issues: a) anger at men who have boned women or grabbed ass in a club without getting at least implicit permission first, or b) frustration with women who have rejected men in clubs for one reason or another.

Meh, who knows. Hope it's all settled now.

it's already close to enough to "stick it up the bum"

totally just kidding


Anyway, just to add a bit of personal experience, on one of my few times dancing with a girl (friends/not quite dating at the time), she would brush her butt against the crotch and if i happened to become aroused, she'd stand a little taller and keep doing it and occassionally reach her hand around for my 'thigh'

and yeah, she LOVED it when she could get someone aroused from dancing.

you can TELL if a girl gets wet on the dancefloor? How?? heh

Ewwww.....If you can tell that then it's probably not what you think it is.

Hahahaha.

Wow, Impetuous1. :)

My girlfriend whispered it in my ear while dancing once (god was that hot).

And I've had other female-friends admit it when we had this same conversation.

honestly, i just look for the puddle under her feet.

makes it easier


either that, or she didn't realize she had to pee

Sultana...always thought you were the naughty girl...I am heartbroken...

Hmmm, didn't say I didn't dance with the ladies :cool: ...However for the record I *am* naughty, but just in other, less pedestrian ways. :suave:

Yesterday I was at a house party (grad school) and I met this cute girl and we chatted it up. I got her #, and then later when I saw her I said "wanna dance?"

We headed over, danced a bit, I did my thang, pointed over at the couple beside us who were grinding and feeling each other out and I said: "wanna do that?"

Then we started grinding and as we were grinding I got a hard-on. The girl stopped just a lil after that and we went back to regular dancing. But I just acted like nothing happened and kept dancing, and after a while we did about 30 more mins of grindin' and I didn't get any more hard-ons (lol I got used to it...)

There are two main vibes you get as a guy when dancing with a girl at a club.

Vibe A, Go Away:

This is when you randomly walk up on some girl or ask her straight out if she wants to dance, and rather than be mean by just shutting you down, she says okay. When you're dancing with her, if she is keeping her distance, not really getting close to you, and most of all not really looking at you, she's not feeling it, and rubbing your hard-on against her is going to send her running.

Vibe B, Stick It:

Things will usually start the same, where you have to initiate something out of the blue to make things happen. However, once you're on the dance floor, if you guys are grooving and she is getting more and more comfortable with you, maybe putting her arms up over your shoulders and locking her hands around your next or grabbing you in any sort of way, she's turned on and she's ready to go. Furthermore, if a girl is dancing with you for 2+ songs and you guys have kind of been floating back and forth between the bar and the dance floor, she digs you or she would've cut you like ballast by now anyways. If that's the situation, rubbing your boner up against her is going to send her into overdrive and is a good way to make her start thinking, "I love the way that dick feels, I kinda want to bring this guy home tonight..."

You may or may not go home with her, but the vibe with the girl you're dancing with is going to fall mainly into one of those two categories...you usually won't find a girl who will dance around with you for a long time and be physical with you if she's not interested in you, so based on how you judge that chemistry should decide whether or not to bring out the power tools.

The most important thing to do if you want to have good results is a) get a clue on how to dance, all you need to do is find the bass line and bob to it if you're not very coordinated. Even if the girl is busting out the crazy hip moves she's going to be in the same meter as you so your movements will compliment her, even if they're simple.

And while we're on the subject, don't be a flamboyant dancer. If the girl thinks you dance better than she does she'll think you've done this a lot before and you've probably brought back a lot of girls and you're a gross male slut-bag. Really good dancing on the guy's part may turn some girls on, but most of them want to keep it conservative in this regard and do most of the improv while the guy just sits back and enjoys her leading.

My senior year of high school, this girl I knew asked me (admittedly as a last resort) to go to winter formal with her. The night was overall terrible, because she hung out with a lot of the jocks and other punkasses who gave me trouble all through high school. Anyway, things got worse when we got to the dance.

It pissed me off, because she was just a confused bitch. I was continuously trying to back away from her so 1) I wouldn't get an erection, and 2) when I did, it wouldn't hit her. But she was dumb and she kept getting closer. Yet, she still ended up bitching to one of her friends (who then told me) that she didn't feel comfortable dancing with me after she felt it. Ended up embarrassing me even further that night, and pretty much ruined my senior formal.

I've had other girls (including LPM) tell me they love it. Obviously, they were into me, and she wasn't.


Edit: I've also had girls tell me I'd made them wet when I was dancing with them.

To all the women / young girls who find it creepy.

Wait till you get older and it never happens.

Then you will be sad that no man gets a hard on over you anymore.

Enjoy it while it lasts.

Just think of George Bush in a speedo next to Janet Reno in pasties and a g-string. That should be enough to kill any kind of desire. :D

haha, I'm always super embarrassed when this happens. I always make sure to wear boxer briefs when i go out. (I feel that will hold it down a bit more than boxers would)
Reading this thread I think the next time I get a woody on the dancefloor, I'm just going to turn around and walk away from the girl. :)

Why? It's a natural reaction, and it seems to me that the general tone here is that if you're not butt ugly (seems to be the most important criterion, here) AND you're not shoving it into her unprovoked, most people are either A: totally okay with it, or B: will let you know nicely by just shying away from it.

Aye, that's the rub.

This is where guys and girls differ.

for guys, it's not dancing with girls you don't know...it's dancing with girls you don't 'know' *yet*

I think some of you gals don't quite understand how a man's penis works after reading this thread.

a) Bump'n'Grind: Yeah, if you are involved in some butt grinding dancing, and then you STILL get "grossed out" by a guy getting hard, it shows you are immature and unreasonable. That kind of dancing is meant for the sole purpose of getting attention. Girls who say, "Oh, but I just like dancing" and dance like that... well... too bad! That's like taking your shirt and bra off and then being "grossed out" or pissed that a guy looking at you gets hard becuase you "just like being topless". Seriously?!

b) Other dancing. This is still not terribly reasonable area to get upset. Take the Tango for instance. There is no genital grinding. But the dances purpose is to be provocative. If I were doing the tango with an attractive woman, I could easily see myself getting a bit stiff. That's the POINT of the dance, sexual tension, longing, romance.

c) Frankly, it's not terribly difficult for a guy to sport wood just checking a chick out if she's really "his type". Sure this isn't a 100%. But still...

In the end, being "creeped out" buy a guys dick is just lame. If he was coming on to you, or being overbearing, or whipping it out... THAT would be creepy. A guy who has a boner for you? It's a physical compliment. Even guys who don't know how to compliment women can get that one right.

*sigh*


And even this isn't 100% the case. I can just have a good time, it doesn't mean I won't possibly get aroused. Getting aroused doesn't mean I expect to get laid. It just means I'm aroused. The difference is a girl can bump n grind and feel sexy and get a little wet and nobody is the wiser. A guy gets a chub and girls freak out. WTF double standard much?

Isn't that the truth?!

for the ladies, what else should you expect when you're grinding your butt against some guys tool?

Im assuming that the original poster was reffering to "freak dancing"

if you get a woody while slow-dancing...man, I dont know

I once had a dance-off with a girl in a club. It didn't cause any boners, but it did get a lot of attention from a lot of girls there. It was kinda funny 'cause I really wasn't there to pick up anybody... I was just sorta bored, looking for a way to pass the time.

HA! I guess I need to go to clubs and start dancing!!! Seems as though I've missed out alot!!! Take me dancing PLEASE! :D I'm laughing though....sounds like this "dance" is more provocative than what I am thinking. If so, then .......well, you girls should know WHAT it consists of BEFORE dancing. And if it is your butt kissin' his wanger.....then...well...HELLO!!!!

To me...........it ain't that big of a deal. So what if he gets a boner while dancing with you? Jeeze. I have no idea why it's all the sudden so complicated. Must be my age!!! :D

When at the club with my friends I tend to dance only with my girlfriends or our mutual guy-friends but I've never been into "booty" dancing, I dunno it makes me feel like a prostitute or something of that nature, and to think of doing that with a stranger weirds me out. I guess it also has to do with currently dating someone also, I just have never had the urge to get up and dance with some random guy, and god forbid he has a boner. Everyone is different, some people don't care while others do. My preference is with my girlfriends, although that tends to have guys coming over to get imbetween us and its like no... you go back to your corner, we're having a blast with ourselves.

Happens all the time mate. My suggestion is back off a bit when it occurs, but if she notices, the next action is up to her. If she gets creeped out that's her problem. If she doesn't mind, she can keep going.

Facts:

1. She is the one grindin'. And if you're the one who started it, and it kept going to the point of excitement, well she didn't exactly pull away.
2. You can't really help it. It's an involuntary action and involuntary means, I didn't do it on purpose. Human hormones at work people, nothing to get creeped out over.
3. If she finds it creepy, she can stop, slow down, or flat out walk away without it escalating based on #1 and #2. The onus is on the lady in this case to put a stop to it or keep it going.

Men do not read minds, but we do read body langauge. And body language at this point would be close proximity dancing, and sexy butt to crotch contact. That language spells hot with a capital sexy. So if that's the langauge, and we go to far, our bads, forgive us... sometimes we let your beauty distract us from being perfectly fluent.

Ladies, if you are creeped out by this, sorry, but remember you are the ones who caused it. In our minds, it's not a negative, a spontaneus wood is like saying "hi, I can't help but find you sexy".

I'm a man, and I'm not going to apologize for a girl getting creeped out if she turns me on. There are too many chemical reactions that you can't control at play here.

If you strike a match, expect it to burn.

Hey if a girl grinds with u for a while, is it an invitation to ask her to join u for some more private fun? (provided that she's a good girl and not a slut/ditz/bitch/ugly)

...

Indeed- and funny enough, it's in the rub that we differ. ;)

But seriously... girls will grind their ass into my crotch with no sexual intention? I find that hard to believe. They know what that does, and they do that to elicit a possible response. I still think some are confusing "dancing with", in general, with "grinding on the crotch".

I can opnly imagine the hilarity of you getting hard behind a girl who doesn't expect it and doesn't know what she's getting into (more like what's getting into her.) I can't imagine you could get ut to stay down without the kind of restraints they use to attach palettes of stuff to flatbed trailers.
No, but you'll probably be more successful asking her than someone who's too nice to decline a dance and is keeping you at arm's length.