Taking Things To The Next Level - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

soma · 02-02-2006, 10:48 AM

My girl friend and I are currently in the makeout/heavy petting stage in our physical relationship and I'd like to take things to the next level. I know she doesn't want premarital (vaginal) sex, but she doesn't seem morally against oral sex. Both of us are virgins and haven't gone any further with anyone else than we have with each other, so this is all very uncharted territory.

How do you ease into this sort of thing? I know she feels a little bit self conscious about her body and doesn't feel completely comfortable getting naked around me. Is it just to early (~1 month)? Are there things I should be doing to make her feel more comfortable?

On another note, do any guys out there have ticklish girlfriends? How to you please them without making them giggle (which can completely kill the mood).

Toaster126 · 02-02-2006, 11:02 AM

I'm not sure if this really helps since I'm a guy, but you get it anyway.

I am very very very very ticklish.

VERY.

I think you get the point.

People who get to touch me know that - they have to take special care not to hit the ticklish zones in a manner that sets me off. The odd part about it is once I have been tickled, the zones widen and more things become ticklish.

The key is (for me, at least) to try and avoid things that trigger the tickle response. If this means petting in a different manner or holding your partner in a different way, then that is what you have to do. The tickle response will lessen slightly as the relationship goes on. Not to say it will go away, because it won't. I assume you could extrapolate that to women as well.

Also, can you explain how someone can be ok with oral but not with vaginal sex? Oral sex is so much more personal, in my opinion. Is this a religious thing? If so, how is oral not frowned upon as well?

Poppinjay · 02-02-2006, 11:08 AM

Wow, now aren’t you glad you finally made that first move?

As far as her being okay with oral, but not vaginal, some guys would consider that the holy grail in a woman.

A month is a long time for some, not nearly long enough for others. Since you’re both fairly new to relationships and you want this to last, you’re probably better off being conservative at this point. If she’s timid about getting naked, stick with getting her comfortable before you go putting things in your mouths.

JustJess · 02-02-2006, 11:10 AM

^^ Precisely. As oral is very intimate, get comfy being naked and being in your bodies together before worrying about it. Especially since this is all new for both you.

Yay for first moves turning into good things!

BigBen · 02-02-2006, 11:14 AM

Hey, just keep the peeled ginger where it belongs, and everything will work out fine.

The_Jazz · 02-02-2006, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigBen

Hey, just keep the peeled ginger where it belongs, and everything will work out fine.

That's the second time today that BigBen has come up with better relationship advice than I could even aspire to dispense.

maleficent · 02-02-2006, 11:52 AM

Ben said it well...

On the tickling thing-- I can only speak from personal experience but when I get - ummmm, turned on... I get extremely ticklish, at least I think I used ti - it's been a while... Don't take it as a sign that you are doing anything wrong - take it as a sign you are doing something right and enjoy it...

sex is supposed to be fun... Laughing is fun... Don't worry about the giggle fits from her being ticklish...

ratbastid · 02-02-2006, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soma

How do you ease into this sort of thing?

"Ease into" is the right word. If your "ease into" timeframe is a matter of days or weeks, you're probably not actually "easing into" it.

Let things go how they go. Enjoy what you've got right now. Keep your cool about things. Don't push or rush or pressure.

Ustwo · 02-02-2006, 02:19 PM

I suppose my old 'three blue balls and you are out' rule doesn't apply in this case

Carno · 02-02-2006, 04:34 PM

Next time you get all hot and heavy, slowly start to take her clothes off. If she doesn't want you to, you'll know.

Or you could just ask her about how far she wants to go and what she is comfortable with.

I have no advice on ticklishness, because I've never run into that problem before...

soma · 02-02-2006, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Wow, now aren’t you glad you finally made that first move?

Yes. And

Quote:

Hey, just keep the peeled ginger where it belongs, and everything will work out fine.

Ha! Damn. You hit me good in the funny bone.

But yeah. What you guys are saying makes sense.

NotAnAlias · 02-02-2006, 10:57 PM

I'm extremely ticklish on my sides, above my hips. It's actually more than ticklish, it's painful, and i have serious issues when people go near there, i flinch, block, punch even sometimes, without even thinking.

So yeah, that caused problems when getting rampant with my girlfriend, as she'd run her hands down my chest and sides and i'd flinch or push her away instinctively. On occasions it was actually painful to have her hand even just resting there.

I/we got around it by going really slow, just put your hands on an area near which isn't ticklish and wait until she's acclimatised, and slowly work down.

She'll probably forget about it when you start getting into it :P and yeah, gigglings not bad :P

blade02 · 02-03-2006, 02:01 PM

1) Almost every girl I've been with was more willing to do oral sex than vaginal sex. Maybe its the pregnacny thing?

2) If you are going to venture into that territory...I suggest kissing on the stomach and moving your way down. Only once have I had a girl that stopped me, be upset. Most of them that stop you...just gently stop you and resume with the making out. So I'll be one of the few to encourage that you start testing the boundries.

02-02-2006, 10:48 AM	#1 (permalink)
soma Addict Location: USA	Taking Things To The Next Level My girl friend and I are currently in the makeout/heavy petting stage in our physical relationship and I'd like to take things to the next level. I know she doesn't want premarital (vaginal) sex, but she doesn't seem morally against oral sex. Both of us are virgins and haven't gone any further with anyone else than we have with each other, so this is all very uncharted territory. How do you ease into this sort of thing? I know she feels a little bit self conscious about her body and doesn't feel completely comfortable getting naked around me. Is it just to early (~1 month)? Are there things I should be doing to make her feel more comfortable? On another note, do any guys out there have ticklish girlfriends? How to you please them without making them giggle (which can completely kill the mood). __________________ Having Girl Problems?

02-02-2006, 11:02 AM	#2 (permalink)
Toaster126 Extreme moderation Location: Kansas City, yo.	I'm not sure if this really helps since I'm a guy, but you get it anyway. I am very very very very ticklish. VERY. I think you get the point. People who get to touch me know that - they have to take special care not to hit the ticklish zones in a manner that sets me off. The odd part about it is once I have been tickled, the zones widen and more things become ticklish. The key is (for me, at least) to try and avoid things that trigger the tickle response. If this means petting in a different manner or holding your partner in a different way, then that is what you have to do. The tickle response will lessen slightly as the relationship goes on. Not to say it will go away, because it won't. I assume you could extrapolate that to women as well. Also, can you explain how someone can be ok with oral but not with vaginal sex? Oral sex is so much more personal, in my opinion. Is this a religious thing? If so, how is oral not frowned upon as well? __________________ "The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand) "The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

02-02-2006, 11:08 AM	#3 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	Wow, now aren’t you glad you finally made that first move? As far as her being okay with oral, but not vaginal, some guys would consider that the holy grail in a woman. A month is a long time for some, not nearly long enough for others. Since you’re both fairly new to relationships and you want this to last, you’re probably better off being conservative at this point. If she’s timid about getting naked, stick with getting her comfortable before you go putting things in your mouths. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

02-02-2006, 11:10 AM	#4 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	^^ Precisely. As oral is very intimate, get comfy being naked and being in your bodies together before worrying about it. Especially since this is all new for both you. Yay for first moves turning into good things! __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

02-02-2006, 11:14 AM	#5 (permalink)
BigBen Comedian Location: Use the search button	Hey, just keep the peeled ginger where it belongs, and everything will work out fine. __________________ 3.141592654 Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.

02-02-2006, 11:52 AM	#7 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Ben said it well... On the tickling thing-- I can only speak from personal experience but when I get - ummmm, turned on... I get extremely ticklish, at least I think I used ti - it's been a while... Don't take it as a sign that you are doing anything wrong - take it as a sign you are doing something right and enjoy it... sex is supposed to be fun... Laughing is fun... Don't worry about the giggle fits from her being ticklish... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

02-02-2006, 02:19 PM	#9 (permalink)
Ustwo Pissing in the cornflakes	I suppose my old 'three blue balls and you are out' rule doesn't apply in this case __________________ Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

02-02-2006, 04:34 PM	#10 (permalink)
Carno Junkie	Next time you get all hot and heavy, slowly start to take her clothes off. If she doesn't want you to, you'll know. Or you could just ask her about how far she wants to go and what she is comfortable with. I have no advice on ticklishness, because I've never run into that problem before... __________________ http://how-to-spell-ridiculous.com/

02-02-2006, 10:57 PM	#12 (permalink)
NotAnAlias Tilted Location: Auckland, New Zealand	I'm extremely ticklish on my sides, above my hips. It's actually more than ticklish, it's painful, and i have serious issues when people go near there, i flinch, block, punch even sometimes, without even thinking. So yeah, that caused problems when getting rampant with my girlfriend, as she'd run her hands down my chest and sides and i'd flinch or push her away instinctively. On occasions it was actually painful to have her hand even just resting there. I/we got around it by going really slow, just put your hands on an area near which isn't ticklish and wait until she's acclimatised, and slowly work down. She'll probably forget about it when you start getting into it :P and yeah, gigglings not bad :P

02-03-2006, 02:01 PM	#13 (permalink)
blade02 Insane	1) Almost every girl I've been with was more willing to do oral sex than vaginal sex. Maybe its the pregnacny thing? 2) If you are going to venture into that territory...I suggest kissing on the stomach and moving your way down. Only once have I had a girl that stopped me, be upset. Most of them that stop you...just gently stop you and resume with the making out. So I'll be one of the few to encourage that you start testing the boundries.