When do you tell your kids the truth about Santa?
 

...and when I say "the truth", I mean that he isn't a real person who comes down your chimney to deliver gifts the night of Christmas Eve.

Personally, I have neither encouraged nor discouraged the belief in Santa. I put presents under the tree without any attribution to the parents. This last Christmas Eve, my four-year old daughter decided to write a letter to Santa. I was surprised, because she had previously declared that Santa didn't exist (I just responded that some people do believe, some people don't). I asked her why she had suddenly changed her mind about Santa. She said because she wanted a ballerina dress that I haven't given her yet. Personally, I think she's just "hedging" -- writing a letter, just in case he exists, but not really believing so. I went through a similar exercise, only when I was about six or seven. Anyhow, I promised to mail the letter. It's sitting in my desk right now. I didn't have time to get a ballerina dress, but I'll go looking for one soon. I had to explain that, if Santa did exist, it might not be reasonable for him to get one on such short notice. Actually, my daughter probably doesn't believe in Santa, but is just trying to extort another gift out of me. :)

What are your own experiences? Do you just keep up with the pretense until they figure it out? Is Santa Claus a belief you encourage or discourage? Why?

I've always been somewhat opposed to the idea of Santa Claus. I feel it's a subversive way of controlling a child's behavior, by talking about an imaginary person "who knows when you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake." It's like bribery -- be good so that you will get gifts. And doesn't it feel creepy to think that there's someone who's constantly monitoring your actions? But I know most people believe it's just harmless fun.

...a related Calvin and Hobbes strip:

http://images.ucomics.com/comics/ch/1993/ch931225.gif

Sorry if this thread has been done before.

All my kids have enjoyed Santa and it seems no harm was done. One reason my 9 and 11 year old are looking forward to the birth of our baby is to have someone around who believes in Santa again as it is "so much fun to pretend."

My older sister did not let her children believe in Santa. Once her eldest saw a picture of another sister's daughter on Santa's lap. He said, "see mom, there is a Santa. Auntie wouldn't let Alicia sit on his lap if he weren't real." He really wanted to be able to "believe" and she took that fantasy away from him. Personally, I thought it was sad.

My son who is 9, is on the edge of figuring out the truth. I am a little worried because I don't want him to figure it out and tell my 7 year old daughter.

Two years ago, my father in-law came over christmas morning at about 6AM, dressed in a full Santa outfit. We roused the kids, and got them to come down the stairs. The kids saw a very short glimpse of Santa, and ran back up the stairs as fast as they could and jumped back in bed. They went back to sleep and didn't get back up until about 9AM. As far as they were concerned it was the middle of the night, and they saw Santa. Last year we overheard them talking about how they saw Santa, so they definately believe. This year I think my son is skeptical, but the Santa incident, it definately extending the belief, a little further than his classmates.

Oh man that gave me a good laugh!

Of course Santa is real, NegativeNine, I am Santa!
And if you send me $5000.00 I will use that money to facillitate the release of $10m that you have won in the Nigerian lottery!
:D :lol:

My parents sat us down and gave us the spiel about Santa being more a state of mind, etc, than an actual person in a red suit.

Actually, my dad told us Santa had a heart attack and died. At that point I was too old to believe, but my brother about died. THEN they gave us the spiel.

My mom did the same for me when I was 8-the oldest of four. It's a Christmas I will never forget. The neighbor came dressed as Santa, my mom woke me up and let me take a peek around the corner, promising to be very quiet. She said the look on my face was priceless.
I would have liked to have done that for my own kids. Instead, I would only take them to one particular mall to see Santa. I would whisper their names and the fact they were twins to the 'helpers' and Santa would ask how his favorite twins were doing that year. We did things like leave half-eaten carrots in the front yard and hand prints on the walls. I miss that part of their childhood-the lack of scepticism and the total trust in things they couldn't explain, only loved.

My mom told us at a very young age that Santa didn't exist, and we didn't celebrate Christmas after I was 7. She did tell us not to tell other kids though, because they didn't know and we shouldn't spoil it for them. My son is 3 and I'm sure I'll tell him about Santa. He kind of knows about Santa after this Christmas but is too young to fully understand yet. I never really felt bad as a child that I knew Santa didn't exist, but I want him to have that experience and make Christmas more special now.

My wife is pregnant with our first... but her brother has 3 kids, the oldest just turned 7. They decided to tell their kids VERY early on that Santa was not real, and now I'm just not sure I want my kid to spend Christmas with them. Not only do they not believe, but they find it important to contradict any mention of Santa with "He's not real"...

I think kids want to believe... it's magical and I would think eventually helps kids develop greater imagination, etc. I'm looking forward to fostering this belief in our kids.

My kids are 5 and 11 and I want them to believe as long as possible. The oldest has already figured out there is no tooth fairy (that was a no-brainer when she caught me sneaking in to put the money in the box one morning when I had forgotten the night before), and the Easter Bunny is a bit obvious. But she still maintains belief in Santa (I think she has an inkling but doesn't let on).

My 5 year old has full belief in everything! And that's the way I'd like it to stay. Even if my oldest did catch on to the Santa thing, she would still want her younger sister to believe.

Let kids stay kids for as long as they like, I say.

Amen Ella!

We let our kids believe untill they began to question the existance of Santa. Once they reach a certain age, depending on environment and circumstances, they will natrually have doubts. For us, that was the time to explain about Santa. It will vary from person to person and family to family, but there will come a point where kids will doubt Santa. Be it from exposure to older kids, other kids their age, or just media in general. I see no point in lying to them, but I also see no harm in encouraging the belief untill they harbor doubts.

I was a perceptive and cynical little bastard. My mom regailing me with tales of Santa is my first memory of the BS detector going off, I was around two and a half to three years old at the time.

What truth about Santa? Is there a secret about him I don't know?

heh heh, actually. I told my kids. But encourage the belief of a Christmas spirit of giving

Last year, my wife told our kids (8 and 5 at the time) the truth about Santa. The deal was they could not reveal the truth to other kids, or they wouldn't get presents from Santa this year. They held up their end of the deal. In fact, the 5 year old forgot that there was no Santa and was very excited. To me, Santa represents the true meaning of giving, where you ask for nothing in return.

....lol when my cousin andbrother told me there was no such thing as santa i said
"don't worry i wont tell them he isnt real" them being our parents

MXL, that is the most awesome thing I have ever heard. When i was a kid we set out milk and cookies and my dad ate them, and wrote us a letter. We used to be putting off going to my bed and my mom would go, "Do you hear that, it's Santa's bells, the reindeer are close! If you go to sleep he might skip our house!"

I'm 20 years old and I still look back on those times with vivid fondness. Don't worry about telling your kids about Santa, some punk ass kid is going to tell them in school around 3rd or 4th grade, they will come to ask you about it, and then you can tell them the truth. But let them believe it as long as you can, and MXL, I'm going to remember what you just said because if I ever have kids I'm definitely going to pull a Santa stunt too =)

So you are saying Santa isn't real??? WTF???

Mine kind of figured it out on their own, I was honest when they asked but tried to impress that it was the spirit of the thought, not that there is an actual being. Just a nice thought to beleive in

I need some help!
 

I have a 8 year old and a 6 year old. My 8 year old has been having doubts about Santa and keeps asking me to tell her the truth. Some kid at school keeps telling her that Santa is not real. I was well over 10 when my mom and dad shared the devastating news with me and I just don't want my daughter to stop believing this early. Also, I do not want her to spoil it for my 6 year old. Any advice, please?

I would pull her aside in a conspiratorial manner and make a big production out of letting her in on the BIG secet.

For example, you could:

Tell her that only special children get to know the truth.
Have her swear the "Official" Santa secret oath not to tell anyone who doesn't deserve it.
Include her in deceiving her sibling (Fun!)

Above all, stress the importance of maintainting the Christmas spirit for the greater good

It's a shame she had to find out from some little brat at school.

Good luck
/*performs the Santa Secret hand shake*

My daughter understands what Santa is. I told her, in so many words, that Santa Clause is an old story based on a man that used to bring gifts to children. I told her that to celebrate this man, we say he is still alive and giving gifts to children. I also told her not to tell her classmates at the pre-preschool. She still hasn't mastered english, but I think she got the gist of what I was trying to say. I'll tell her again when she gets older. I just hope she doesn't blurt it out in kintegarden like her old man.

I think the best time to tell is when they tell you. not before. (why spoil it?)
I would def. not try to maintain the mystery once they find out, though. Otherwise they will continue to doubt, and spread it to others.

I'm inclined to tell my daughter that Santa doesn't exist. I don't see the benefit of deceiving your kids. I don't think that it aids imagination to believe in Santa. I don't think that it's useful to believe in things that don't exist.

Of course, I don't go overboard with the truth. For example: I would never tell my daughter that her doll, Baby Poppins, is just plastic and cloth. (She LOVES Baby Poppins).

I don't think that believing in Santa hurts anybody. I understand that others do see benefit in it and I respect that. My wife, for example, wants our daughter to believe in Santa.

willravel, I really like your strategy. It seems like a thoughtful compromise.

The year that I found out about the truth of Santa from my parents, i promised to keep it under my hat. However, I called them on the dishonesty of it all- no biggie, I just mentioned it.

A week or so later, my brother accidentally ran into the coffee table and broke something on it, and rather than go and own up to it, he went and tried to pretend he hadn't done it. He was confronted by my parents, I was in the room, and when my mom mentioned how lying is bad, my "this is hypocritical bullshit" detector went off, and I quickly blurted out, "YOU LIED ABOUT SANTA!" After a moment, my dad was dying with laughter, my mom was glaring at me with a hint of "I want to laugh but can't" and my brother was quickly piecing the puzzle together in his head, and looking very upset for the effort. Before he started wailing, I made up something about the milk we put out being put back in the refrigerator because it would go bad if it sat out, which he readily accepted.

Long story short, I THEN got the story on "innocent, little white lies", and not being disrespectful by undermining your parents directly in front of someone else- a "if you're going to call someone out, do it in private", sort of thing.

That being said, my imagination is one of my fondest personal posessions, and I thank my parents all the time for nurturing it to its potential. Seeing as allowing "Santa" (or whomever) doesn't permanently damage a child once they find out the truth, I've never seen harm in letting a child have something magical to believe in.

I think that's a large part of why there are a good number of people with no religious affiliation who nonetheless enjoy the festivities of the Santa-Christmas. You still get the good will, the "giving is better than receiving", the "helping the less fortunate", the presents (yay!) and the fun imagination of it all.

(Disclaimer- I don't have kids... I don't like kids... but i'm a kid at heart... take it for what it's worth.)

Oh, and, not for nothing- but some of you have literally written out, or heavily alluded to, your desires to keep your children young... so if "I want them to be kids as long as possible" is your reason, that's not really a healthy reason to not tell them, or do anything, in my opinion. That's just a selfish desire to keep them children, so you don't have to watch them grow up- which for some of you, annoyingly points out the progression of your own age, which portends their leaving the nest, which gives you a sense of "no longer being needed". Raise them right, and you'll always have their love- no need to keep the "you're a kid" strangle-hold on them. Just a point to ponder. :)

When I was a kid, we would go over to my grandma's house for Chistmas Eve. At night we would watch the Santa Tracker on the news. It was a big map of Wisconsin with a red dot for Rudolph. When it got close to our area, we would go home so we could go to bed.

Our kid is for and firmly believes in Santa and I want to keep it that way.

I figured it out on my own, my mom would leave letters from Santa and one winter even put reindeer bells in the driveway. When my older brothers figured it out I guess she spoke to them because they never told me he didn't exsist. Regardless, santa still comes to our house, last year he visited a 17 y/o, a 21 y/o and a 24 y/o. ;)

Literally I found out in the Seventh grade. My music teacher broke the news to me. No one would tell me. And Santa only leaves me a stocking nowadays.

I don't think I ever believed in Santa. It wasn't that I was a rather sharp kid, it's just that I figured it out when my parents would just ask me what I wanted for Xmas, buy it, and put it under the tree.

This never made me particularly unhappy, but it might've made other kids unhappy when I would say things like "Santa? Who the hell is Santa? My parents give ME presents!"

I learned an important life's lesson when I learned Santa wasn't real. I don't remember what age exactly I was, but I remember the event like it was yesterday

I helped my mom wrap gifts for christmas and after she laid them all out and put the tags on them I was looking around and noticed one that I recognized I had wrapped, but the tag said "To: Bill", "From: Santa". Both my parents were in the room and I asked my mom, "why'd you say this was from Santa when it was from you?"

My mom burst into tears and started freaking out because she "let the cat out of the bag" so to speak." My dad got pissed at me for upsetting her and kept saying "c'mon now, you certainly knew by this point santa wasn't real??"

I'm thinking "well no, not really, but i seriously don't care that much."

I don't think it'll bother your kids in least when they find out, regardless of how they find out...but remember, if you think it's starting to upset them - act twice as upset about them finding out and they'll be more concerned about you then you ever were about them.

It's great relationship advice too. If you do something that pisses off your significant other, act like your twice as disappointed in yourself as she is in you. She'll go from yelling at you to trying to make you feel better.

of this might sound childish now, but i honestly feel hurt when i think about santa. i have always been an incredibly driven individual, and always felt on-par with everyone, including my parents (yes yes, they still disciplined me, but I was treated with the same respect as an adult)...or so I thought, because when they told me there was no santa, trust in my parents was utterly shattered. from that point forward, i would never trust a soul without completely faith in my own analysis first. you might be saying that's a good result, but the truth of the matter was that it only hindered my faith in what my parents told me, and by extension those very close to me.

i'm a fervent supporter of telling your kids before, say, middle school.

Like most other things in parenting, answer your kids truthfully when they ask. Because when a child asks you something, it's because they want to know the truth, and they need to know they can get it from you. My oldest asked when he was in 5th grade (more of a fantasy-driven kid), my middle son when he was 5 or 6 (the pragmatist), and my daughter likewise. She, interestingly, chooses to believe strongly in the Christmas spirit.

Santa was a good idea for the first kid.. she believed, was happy and oblivious.. but when we had other kids.. they found out via the older sibling's grapevine and challenged us on it ..

good luck after kid 1 with santa :)

I am an only child, and I believed in Santa fervently to about the age of... 8, 9? Can't remember now, might have been earlier. I argued with those punks at school, offered them proof that Santa was real, left milk and cookies (carrots for reindeer), fell asleep waiting by the tree (dad was a trooper and carried me in each time).

I don't regret believing in Santa one bit... when the time came, I finally gave up my belief, but it wasn't a hugely traumatic thing. Just part of growing up in America (remember this is a hugely cultural thing, not everyone does it!). Not sure if I would do it with my own kids, but I don't see much harm either way. It's kind of tough to avoid perpetuating the myth when you raise them in this country, at least. What's better, teaching cynicism or appreciation? I don't know. Maybe they aren't mutually exclusive..

When my son directly asked, I told the truth. He was about 4 or 5.

My kids never asked so I never had to deal with it. All I know is they loved Christmas morning and still do. I do have close friends that told their child there was no Santa and at Christmas, she just wandered around with a puzzled expression on her face all the time. All the ridiculous pomp and ceremony made no sense to her without the 'Santa' part of it too.

But I must say, I've grown weary of the entire Christmas scene and really want to change it up next year. I think for the first time we're going to take daddy's bonus check and go skiing for a week instead of spending that money on consumer goods. I'd rather have fun memories of a family Christmas vacation then the traditional spending and eating frenzy. My family is all for it--I think we're all ready for a new tradition too. But, old traditions die hard! Anyone else have that problem?

We've told our daughter the 'truth' from the start pretty much. When she was one I wanted to start the Santa thing. Then my mother, who believes Santa is a created of the devil used to distract us from the 'real meaning' of Christmas, told us that if we insisted on lying to our daughter she would not help us. If our daughter ever mentioned Santa to her she would tell her the truth.

Soooo rather than allowing her to make us out to be the bad guy we told her the truth. She is five now and has friends who do believe still and she decided that Mom and Dad are just duped into not believing. She wanted to go see Santa, she only had 3 things that she HAD to have from Santa, and she wanted badly to leave carrots and cookies and milk out even though we'd never told her to do those things. When we opened our presents on Christmas we didn't say that any were from Santa and she never asked.

In the end we tell her that Santa is a fun thing to pretend and that he does something that we all should do, giving others thoughtful gifts. She doesn't seem bothered by it in the least and enjoy ths Santa game.

Analog - When I think of parents trying to keep their kids as kids, and not having them grow up too fast, they don't do it for themselves, they do it for their kids. I grew up too fast, knew too much at too young of an age, and would much rather have been kept in the dark about some things. I started continuing my childhood around 16, and my mom couldn't understand why, even when I told her that it was because I didn't have a childhood as a childhood, so I was having it at 16.

I probably started asking my parents if Santa was real around 6 or 7, but they could see that I still believed, and only had small doubts, so while they never said "Yes", they never said "No". They pulled some politician-speak on me, and never answered my question directly. I started asking to sleep downstairs in the living room (where the Christmas tree was) on Christmas Eve, saying that I'd stay asleep, but they wouldn't let me. I figured it out around 10 or 11, but wasn't mad at them for not telling me.

Okay, I'd like to add my 2 cents. I don't think it's wrong to tell your kids that Santa is real. However, I couldn't do it with my kids for my own, personal reasons. Mojodragon agreed when I explained my reasoning. To myself, and my husband, finding out that there was no Santa was one of the reasons we started questioning other things our parents had told us. We didn't want that to happen to our kids. So we lied about Santa, what about the Easter Bunny? The tooth fairy? God? Drugs are bad? Ummm.. okay, so that might be a bit far out there, but the thought was valid. Instead, we "play" Santa. Every year, we tell our kids the Santa story. We also tell them stories about the original St. Nick, and different stories from around the world. We talk about different religion's reasons for celebrating the season and why _we_ do. (Consequently, we aren't Christian, but we do teach them about the birth of Jesus right along with every other religion.) Then we tell them that _we_ believe that Santa is a representation of the spirit of giving, and we "play" Santa. They pretend Santa is real and we pretend to be him. And we all know it's pretend, but we have fun anyway. The kids really enjoy "playing Santa" for each other and for other people in the neighborhood, homeless shelters, kids at church, homeschool friends, etc... So why can't we have the best of both worlds? :)

Santa isn't real? Thats bullshit! my girlfriend keeps trying to convince me but she has yet to reason with me... you know what... don't ever tell your kids. Eventually it will dawn on them and you can still continue to pretend and they will tell you that you are stupid and that he isn't real but what does it hurt huh? i think it's nice. And plus... he's real

My oldest daughter is nine. She has to know. Kids in school talk you know. But she plays along with it, and for her the sake of her sister whom is five, thats cool with me.

I dont plan on telling her outright, unless I have to break her heart when she is 18, but I think if she asked me if it was real or not, I would tell her the truth.

didnt read the other comments so i apologise if i'm repeating.

i think if i have kids, i will tell them and write on the gifts: from santa.
every year, take 1 gift and write: from mom and dad.
eventualy, there will only be gifts from mom and dad and none from santa. then they'll get it. :)

To me christmas is about spending time with family and counting your blessings. Though I do not celebrate christmas because I am not christian, I wouldnt tell my kids about santa because it has been my experience that then xmas takes on more of a gimme gimme gimme theme. I find that sad.

Just my opinion.

We have never told our kids there is a Santa. They believed in Santa because of TV and advertising. That lasted till they were about 7. We decided not to tell there was a Santa because of an experience we had.

Before my wife and I had kids we were out shopping at Christmas time and stopped to eat at a resturaunt crowded with Christmas shoppers. The family sitting next to us (only about 3 feet away) was talking about Santa. The child asked his mom "Is Santa real?'.
The mom said, "Do you want the truth?"
Child, "Yes."
Mom, "The ones in the mall are Santa's helpers, tell the real Santa what you want." I don't recall the rest of the mom's reply, it was 15 years ago.

This blew us away. Being an outsider we were not wrapped up in the myth. The fact that the mom asked if he wanted the truth and then lied just stunned me. We decided that night when we have kids that we were never going to lie to them.
Seems the comercialism makes the lie more important than what Christmas is supposed to be about.

Santa is sacred. I'd love to say that i still believe in Santa.And my parents did everything in their power to make sure that i did. in fact, i never stopped believing in the person until i was really old. and it wasnt ny parents who told me that there wasn't a Santa. and i think Thermight that that mom in the mall whom you heard "lie" to her child wasn't really lying, just giving her child something to believe in. i think that was most probably the best response to that question i have ever heard. it should be the childs choice to stop believing not the parent.

My older son worked it out on his own from school by 9 years of age. My younger now 6 on a different fib we tell them, told me he knew there wasnt a tooth fairy. I had been caught in the wee dark hours of the morning swapping the tooth for the money (forgot the night before......I was really tired!:( ) In the morning he came out and said, "I got $2 for my tooth...I know it was you mum." I felt really clever in my response, "You know if you don't believe anymore the toothfairy cant keep coming." (Hey it was only the 3rd lost tooth) He relpied, "Ok, I like the toothfairy," and prompty took his cereal saying no more.

If they dont know by the age of 8 or 9 I reckon its about time to have the cheerful 'your not going to miss out anyway' talk. I only say this because of the memory of a girl in year 6 aged 11 at school being teased ruthlessly by the other children in our class because she still believed in Santa. We were making Christmas Cards for our mums and dads at the time and I'll never forget how sad and demoralised that poor girl looked that day.

There was no Santa in my house growing up in a non-practicing Jewish family. I always felt I was missing out on something. I decided that I would not tell my children the truth about Santa until they ask me. I love watching them at Christmas time, believing Santa came and gave them some gifts. My daughter is quickly approaching the age of disbelief, I think. When the time comes and she asks about him, I will tell her that Santa is the spirit of giving at Christmas time, whether the other person believes in Santa or not. Then she will have fun helping me keep it from her brother for another few years.

I never believed in Santa. It's just impossible! My parents would tell me Santa was coming, but in the back of my mind, I was thinking "in other words, they are going to put the presents there and this is a coverup to make me stay nice." I directly asked my mom in 2nd grade if he was BS or not and she said he wasn't real. It wasn't a blow, because I already knew it was fake. It's just too unrealistic to believe. It goes above and beyond a theology because Santa is visible (apparently) to the public, has reindeer, goes to each house. God(s) don't do that, generally. So you can't just trust that Santa exists on faith - because you have proof that he doesn't exist. I'm not going to be generic and say I was a "deeply cynical youngster" and had a "messed up childhood" like a lot of people say. However, I definitely never believed. What if you don't have a chimney? Then the SERIOUS bullshit starts to flow from your parents.

Okay. Here's how it's probably gonna go around here:

We'll tell our daughter (now 18 months) about Santa, but we'll also let her know that he's made up. To me, letting your child believe something like that is just setting them up for disappointment in the future. So she'll know all about him, get presents, sit on his lap at the mall, but she'll also know that it's pretend and something that we just talk about for fun. No emotional scars for my little lady. Nuh-uh.

I'd just like to add the following to this aged thread:

Every once in a while, my parents will (intentionally) slip in one present "from Santa". I have to say that it's a nice feeling, it brings me back to being a little kid for a moment. That's quite something.

My parents sign all the presents from Santa, even though I've known since I was 8 or so that Santa wasn't real. I was the first one amongst my friends to figure it out.

My first two kids believed in Santa until they figured it out on their own. With my third child, I told her when she was 4 or 5 that Santa was not real because she is an extremely curious child who asked a lot of questions about it and I didn't want to make up an elaborate succession of lies to tell her. So I told her the truth with no detriment to her excitement and enjoyment of receiving gifts on Christmas. This is when I realized the folly of the whole Santa Claus concept. Playing along with the tradition of lying to children about the source of their presents on Christmas. If other parents enjoy that and get a lot satisfaction and happiness out of interacting with their kids that way, then more power to them. I certainly don't think there's any harm in it. But, if I had it to do over again, I would tell my kids from the start that there is no Santa.

My oldest is 19.
I haven't told her yet.
I think, though...she might be getting suspicious.

We take one "special" present, that isn't to overly ostentatious, and isn't obviously made in a Chinese sweatshop, wrap it in "different" wrapping paper from what everything else is in, and tag it "From Santa".

Just yesterday I told the kids I care for an elaborate tale of how Santa landed on my deck as a youth, and my grandpa and dad met Santa. We were in the basement at the time, putting on the Christmas play for Grandma and Mom, when the sleigh bells rang and we heard a great racket that sounded like hooves on the deck above.

Oh, we fell for it hard.

I didn't tell the girls that, but needless to say, they were quite impressed that I had been so close to seeing Santa.

The wife and I told my oldest daughter when she was about 7 or 8. She was pretty shocked, and said "OK", but was pretty quiet about it. A little while later she came up to me, tears in her eyes, and said, "I don't think I was ready to find out that Santa wasn't real." That kinda bummed me out. However, I think if I hadn't told her and she found out thru friends, she woulda been twice as bummed, and probably humiliated on top of it.

I have the next daughter (8 years old now) who I'm debating whether I tell her this year... she still believes, and the older daughter (now 11) is doing her best to keep her believing.

I have children that are all <8 years old, and they all believe in Santa. My wife and I want them to believe as long as possible because we are having too much fun with all of the Santa magic. I figure they will find out eventually through older kids at school.

Funny story: My parents played up the Santa thing when my sister & I were growing up like my wife & I do. I was ~9 years old when I was convinced by classmates that there really was no Santa. I was OK with this info, but I never told my parents that I knew. A few years later, out of nowhere, my Mother sat me down to break the bad news about the Santa myth, and I was like "Gee, no $h1t, Ma". She was half stunned & half heartbroken that I already figured it out at 13 years old!

oh Joe that's funny, in a kind of sad way.

My daughter started questioning me about how possible it really was for there to be a Santa when she was about 8. My son was still an infant so he was a major factor. When she started asking things like, "how can one person fly to every house in the world in one night?" I told her the truth, or a sort, i told her that Santa is more a spirit that makes parents want to give good things to their kids than a real live person. She was ok with that and actually acted kind of like she was relieved. I think the idea that some old guy had been breaking into her house every Christmas Eve for 8 years worried her a bit.

I just wanted to come into this thread and say that I have more than 2 friends IRL that believed in Santa until 6th-7th grade. No joke. It was mentioned in English class in sixth grade and the guy went completely apeshit in disbelief.

I've tried and tried to tell...but my 10 year old son insists I'm wrong....I think he's figured out as long as he insists there is Santa...he'll get more gifts, a nice one from Santa, and some nice ones from mom and dad too. He's an opportunist.....:p I can't afford this charade though:eek: ....his gifts are too expensive now! I guess I'll have to show him the reciept for Santa's gift last year....:rolleyes:

I have no kids myself, but here's what I think.

I found out on my own when I was about 8 years old, I had already been suspicious for a while, as I have always been a curious girl, and then I asked my mom outright "You're the one who puts all the presents under the tree, and not Santa, right?" I think my face must have been interesting because my mom didn't have the guts to lie and said that it was her. I was very disappointed and didn't like that I'd been lied to. Especially as my family isn't religious in any way.

I mya be reading too far into this, but I think people should tell kids. It doesn't have to be harsh, you can tell the story of the supposed first Santa and why he gave presents and what Christmas is supposed to be about (psending time with your loved ones and sharing) and how it also relates to religion and the birth of Jesus. I think it's better than lying.

I think that that particular moment when a child first realizes their parents may lie to them is a marking moment. I think my kids will be more willing to come to me for advice and trust me more if I don't start lying to them from the start.

I have always said the same thing. The magic of Christmas works. How it works is part of that magic, because it always finds a way no matter what you feel or think. There are helpers and well wishers and bearers of magic. It doesn't matter if it was your hands or mine that put a gift in a particular place. We are all part of that magic.
My kids accepted that answer. They still do, and I am a grandfather now.

I remember being in the 2nd grade and bringing home a card Santa had written for me...
When my dad saw my teachers' writing and the lame excuse she gave for not bringing the present I wanted, he told me no such thing existed and that if I really wanted it, we'd go get it.
Next thing you know, I was rolling around my block in my electric Jeep =)...
-GK