Using your kids to mess with Telemarketers..... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

JaySpencer · 10-13-2004, 07:43 PM

The other day I found a great way to dispense with telemarkerters by giving the phone to the 6yo and telling her to have fun. After she spun the dumb slob's head, the 2yo had her say....It started with "HEW-WOH?!" and seemed to go down hill from there.

What can I say, other then: There are just some days that telemarketers mess with you, and then there are some days you JUST FUCK THEM UP THE ASS SIDEWAYS WITH SAND AND MOLTEN METAL!!!!

As a means of relieving tension that was almost sexual in nature, I recommend it.......It's a few notches below a three beer piss and just a few steps below hot sex on cold winter day in a warm bed, with a person of your choice!!!

boredom · 10-13-2004, 08:09 PM

Hehe thats what i used to do when i was young. I think id start pronouncing ever word they said slowly, was very funny when they kept asking for the owner of the house.

Zoz · 10-13-2004, 08:20 PM

My friend has a phone number he only uses for outgoing calls. Whenever a call comes in, he knows it is a telemarketer, because no one else has the number.. His 4 year old is the only one that picks up the phone

LMAO it is hysterical

geb · 10-13-2004, 08:23 PM

been doing the same thing for a few years. Added enjoyment is gotten from the fact that most telemarketers cannot hang up first.

ibis · 10-13-2004, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaySpencer

...three beer piss...

I though only my friends and I said that...

raeanna74 · 10-14-2004, 06:56 AM

Have had that happen unintentionally when my 4 yr old picked up the phone herself. When I caught her I could hear the voice without taking the phone and knew it was a telemarketer. They didn't stay on long. She was disappointed when her friend had to go. lol I let her call Grammy then, just to say hi, to make it up to her.

Willravel · 10-14-2004, 09:25 AM

I like answering a telemarketers call as a movie character. Eveyone from James Bond to Lex de Large from Clockwork Orange. It's a lot of fun. My favorite is William Shattner doing a spoken word rendition of "Ooom bop!".
Don't be mean, just humor them (so to speak).

DDDDave · 10-14-2004, 10:20 AM

My kids have learned to love messin' with the telemarketers......I started them young and they have taken it from there. Now, instead of 'cold calling' and asking 'is your refrigerator running?' they just wait for the TM's to call and jump right in....

I've heard them fake crying and then go on about how 'we haven't seen my Dad in three weeks, we think he abandoned us', 'we're here all alone can you send us some food.....pleeeease mister, pleeease'

Then when they use the famous 'he's not here, he left and told us he was joining the circus', it just makes me so proud to be their father. Sniff.

Suave · 10-14-2004, 10:33 AM

As a market research call centre goon (I'm the bastard that administers over-the-phone surveys to you at dinner time), I highly recommend putting your small children on the phone. I love talking to people's children, as they're normally a damn sight more pleasant, and about 300x cuter than the adult who wouldn't be doing the survey anyways.

I've called and introduced myself as William Shatner too.

nospam · 10-14-2004, 12:52 PM

I loved talking to telemarketers when i was in middle school and high school. my brother and i would mess with them until the hung up. or we'd converse to the point that they'd get on a roll and we'd set down the phone. it's amazing how long these people will stay on the phone with no one listening!

inharmony · 10-14-2004, 01:07 PM

That's just flippin hilarious!

bainatl · 10-15-2004, 10:26 AM

Just have your phone disconnected and use the cell. Works great and no Telemarketer calls.

tcherio · 10-17-2004, 02:38 PM

Anytime a TM calls and asks for the Mr or Mrs of the house, I say "Hold on, I'll go get them" and then just put the phone down and go about doing whatever I was doing, eventually they hang up. Or just put it next to the TV and let them listen to that for a while. It's pretty bad that they hang up on you when you tell them you are not interested. I've never flat out hung up on one, I'm at least polite enough to say thank you very much but I'm not interested. I'm on the Do Not Call List, but I still get the rude TMs, charities and stuff. I just prefer to give to the charity of my choice, not the one that calls my house.

Suave · 10-17-2004, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bainatl

Just have your phone disconnected and use the cell. Works great and no Telemarketer calls.

We've called cells before (by accident, but it does happen), and tcherio, the Do Not Call List doesn't apply to Canadian companies, which is where a lot of US telemarketing, etc is outsourced to.

DJ Happy · 10-18-2004, 03:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DDDDave

I've heard them fake crying and then go on about how 'we haven't seen my Dad in three weeks, we think he abandoned us', 'we're here all alone can you send us some food.....pleeeease mister, pleeease'

That's hilarious!

Or at least, it's hilarious until social services kicks down your door in the middle of the night.......

Polyphobic · 10-21-2004, 10:04 AM

That's funny as all hell! Still, I just have a cell without a home phone. Dang it. I won't get a chance to try it.

combatmedicjen · 10-21-2004, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaySpencer

The other day I found a great way to dispense with telemarkerters by giving the phone to the 6yo and telling her to have fun. After she spun the dumb slob's head, the 2yo had her say....It started with "HEW-WOH?!" and seemed to go down hill from there.

What can I say, other then: There are just some days that telemarketers mess with you, and then there are some days you JUST FUCK THEM UP THE ASS SIDEWAYS WITH SAND AND MOLTEN METAL!!!!

As a means of relieving tension that was almost sexual in nature, I recommend it.......It's a few notches below a three beer piss and just a few steps below hot sex on cold winter day in a warm bed, with a person of your choice!!!

That's frickin' hilarious! There's no better feeling than screwing with telemarketers.

Hubby and I live in the family house. My grandma, grandpa and uncle all used to live here, but have all long since passed away. Still, telemarketers frequently call asking to speak to them. It doesn't bother me since I wasn't close to my deceased relatives, so I like to try to make the telemarketers feel guilty for dragging up such "painful memories."

*ring* *ring*
Me: "Hello?"
TM: "Yes, hello. Is Mr, uhm, Richard, uhm... is Mr. Richard there?" (they can never pronounce the last name)
Me: *pause* "Grandpa's dead."
TM: "I'm so sorry for your loss. Is his wife there?"
Me: *sniffle* "She's dead, too."
TM: *silence* "Is there a homeowner available?"
Me: *deep breath* "No, when my uncle died the house was left to my father and aunt. They don't live here."
TM: "Well, uhm, thank you for your time... have a good day..." *click*

Good times.

10-13-2004, 07:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
JaySpencer Tilted	Using your kids to mess with Telemarketers..... The other day I found a great way to dispense with telemarkerters by giving the phone to the 6yo and telling her to have fun. After she spun the dumb slob's head, the 2yo had her say....It started with "HEW-WOH?!" and seemed to go down hill from there. What can I say, other then: There are just some days that telemarketers mess with you, and then there are some days you JUST FUCK THEM UP THE ASS SIDEWAYS WITH SAND AND MOLTEN METAL!!!! As a means of relieving tension that was almost sexual in nature, I recommend it.......It's a few notches below a three beer piss and just a few steps below hot sex on cold winter day in a warm bed, with a person of your choice!!!

10-14-2004, 06:56 AM	#6 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	Have had that happen unintentionally when my 4 yr old picked up the phone herself. When I caught her I could hear the voice without taking the phone and knew it was a telemarketer. They didn't stay on long. She was disappointed when her friend had to go. lol I let her call Grammy then, just to say hi, to make it up to her. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

10-14-2004, 10:20 AM	#8 (permalink)
DDDDave Addict Location: Sarasota	My kids have learned to love messin' with the telemarketers......I started them young and they have taken it from there. Now, instead of 'cold calling' and asking 'is your refrigerator running?' they just wait for the TM's to call and jump right in.... I've heard them fake crying and then go on about how 'we haven't seen my Dad in three weeks, we think he abandoned us', 'we're here all alone can you send us some food.....pleeeease mister, pleeease' Then when they use the famous 'he's not here, he left and told us he was joining the circus', it just makes me so proud to be their father. Sniff. __________________ I am just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe... "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." - Thoreau "Nothing great was ever accomplished without enthusiasm" - Emerson

10-14-2004, 01:07 PM	#11 (permalink)
inharmony Psycho Location: happy place	That's just flippin hilarious! __________________ "You can't shake hands with a clenched fist." Ghandi "Things do not change: We change" Henry David Thoreau

10-15-2004, 10:26 AM	#12 (permalink)
bainatl Upright Location: The Conch Republic	Just have your phone disconnected and use the cell. Works great and no Telemarketer calls. __________________ I was just supposed to go down to Buckhead and get a paper, next thing I knew, I was on I-75, headed for Florida!

10-13-2004, 08:09 PM	#2 (permalink)
boredom Insane Location: California	Hehe thats what i used to do when i was young. I think id start pronouncing ever word they said slowly, was very funny when they kept asking for the owner of the house.

10-13-2004, 08:20 PM	#3 (permalink)
Zoz Upright Location: Long Island	My friend has a phone number he only uses for outgoing calls. Whenever a call comes in, he knows it is a telemarketer, because no one else has the number.. His 4 year old is the only one that picks up the phone LMAO it is hysterical

10-13-2004, 08:23 PM	#4 (permalink)
geb Upright	been doing the same thing for a few years. Added enjoyment is gotten from the fact that most telemarketers cannot hang up first.

10-14-2004, 09:25 AM	#7 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	I like answering a telemarketers call as a movie character. Eveyone from James Bond to Lex de Large from Clockwork Orange. It's a lot of fun. My favorite is William Shattner doing a spoken word rendition of "Ooom bop!". Don't be mean, just humor them (so to speak).

10-14-2004, 10:33 AM	#9 (permalink)
Suave Twitterpated Location: My own little world (also Canada)	As a market research call centre goon (I'm the bastard that administers over-the-phone surveys to you at dinner time), I highly recommend putting your small children on the phone. I love talking to people's children, as they're normally a damn sight more pleasant, and about 300x cuter than the adult who wouldn't be doing the survey anyways. I've called and introduced myself as William Shatner too.

10-14-2004, 12:52 PM	#10 (permalink)
nospam Tilted	I loved talking to telemarketers when i was in middle school and high school. my brother and i would mess with them until the hung up. or we'd converse to the point that they'd get on a roll and we'd set down the phone. it's amazing how long these people will stay on the phone with no one listening!

10-17-2004, 02:38 PM	#13 (permalink)
tcherio Upright	Anytime a TM calls and asks for the Mr or Mrs of the house, I say "Hold on, I'll go get them" and then just put the phone down and go about doing whatever I was doing, eventually they hang up. Or just put it next to the TV and let them listen to that for a while. It's pretty bad that they hang up on you when you tell them you are not interested. I've never flat out hung up on one, I'm at least polite enough to say thank you very much but I'm not interested. I'm on the Do Not Call List, but I still get the rude TMs, charities and stuff. I just prefer to give to the charity of my choice, not the one that calls my house.

10-21-2004, 10:04 AM	#16 (permalink)
Polyphobic Runt Location: Denver	That's funny as all hell! Still, I just have a cell without a home phone. Dang it. I won't get a chance to try it. __________________ <--The great infidel-->