Five Things Everyone Is Looking For

[Daoust]

1. Inner Peace

2. Certain Hope Beyond Death

3. Everyone is looking to make sense of their troubles, trials, etc.

4. Unconditional Love

5. The Secret of True Happiness


So, what do you think? Do you agree or disagree. Where do you fit in all of that? I'd love to hear your responses.

Personally I think that all of us, at one time or another are actively in search of at least one or two of these things.

If you are not, I'd like to hear how you have found them...

[noodle]

What I've learned about 'unconditional love' is that it's never perfect. There are always things that you don't love about someone. But if you look at a person as a whole, it's fairly easy to love them unconditionally. My unconditional love for one human being on earth isn't despite his shortcomings or faults. It's because they exist. I learned to simply stand up and shrug my shoulders and admit that there are very few things that would ever cause me to not love him... none of which I believe he is capable of. So regardless of how he annoys me or drives me crazy, my deeper feelings don't change. It took a long time for that to evolve. Part of being able to say that I love him without feeling stupid or guilty because of the things he's done in our relationships brought me that inner peace you're talking about. I try to be congruent.

Now, seeking it from someone else is another story. Get a dog.

True happiness I believe is never truly 100%. Otherwise, why would we try to pursue anything else in life? I think it's part of the human condition to seek it out. It's a motivator. Same goes for figuring out our trials, tribulations, etc. We seek out ways to understand them because we are rational beings. Mostly. However, sometimes the search itself becomes irrational and all consuming. Then comes your inner peace. If you can find a smidgen of inner peace, the trials and tribulations become less catastrophic. In regards to searching for hope after death, that's just not something I worry about. I really think you go where you believe you'll go. I'm not going to heaven or hell because I don't believe in them, personally, but who would I be to say that someone else isn't either, if that's their belief? Faith is powerful, no matter what it is in.

Crud. I need coffee. Did any of that make sense?

[Daoust]

Well, I haven't indicated where or from whom you seek these things... that will depend on the person. I'm not even that interested in sharing how you found them if you did. But I am interested in finding out if people in general are all seeking to find these things, and if so or if not, why or why not?

[maleficent]

True happiness comes from acceptace... Accepting yourself as you are. Accepting other people for who they are and not trying to change them. No one will ever be rich enough, or thin enough, or tall enough, or have the right hair -- Accepting that you are who you are... and being OK with that is the key to happiness... I'll let ya know when I am on board with that whole acceptance thing...

Unconditional Love? I'm bitter and jaded - -doesn't exist unless that who acceptance thing is going on...

Making sense of troubles? Depeding on the mood I am in, I either do or don't beleive that everything happens for a reason... this morning, the coffee at this customer site sucks, so I don't beleive evereything happens for a reason. I don't beleive in luck... Karma is just a running joke to explain away bad things... sometimes shit just happens... What defines character is how people react to that shit.

[ShaniFaye]

its very simple for me....my faith takes care of #2 and 3

Dave has been a big help in opening my eyes so I saw the answers to #1,4 and 5

[ngdawg]

Poll doesn't include 'looking for some, forget the rest'.
Inner peace-definitely. Turmoil takes its toll. It'd be nice to say "I have what I've been searching for-hand me a glass of wine."
Certain Hope Beyond Death: I'm a bit jaded there. 90% of me goes with the wormfood theory, which really scares the shit out of me, quite honestly.
Everyone is trying to make sense of their troubles: Eh, sometimes you can't. Best one can do is work on them, learn from them and move on. If we can teach others from our mistakes, better yet. So I don't try to make sense except to figure out where I fucked up.
Unconditional love: Is a myth. We will always disappoint someone, no matter how much we claim to love them and they us. Depending on our faults, they can be overlooked or picked on by loved ones. If you think you have unconditional love from someone, do something to let them down and see how unconditional it really is. As Fredweena said, get a dog. And even they've been known to take a hike.
The secret to true happiness: Also a myth. We have to grab happiness when it comes our way, remember it, embrace it. There is no secret and there is no 'true'. Best we can strive for is contentment with as little regret as possible.

[Daoust]

[QUOTE]

Originally Posted by ngdawg

Poll doesn't include 'looking for some, forget the rest'.

Yeah, I wanted to limit the options intentionally.

Certain Hope Beyond Death: I'm a bit jaded there. 90% of me goes with the wormfood theory, which really scares the shit out of me, quite honestly.

...because you're hoping you're right?

Everyone is trying to make sense of their troubles: So I don't try to make sense except to figure out where I fucked up.

By figure out where I fucked up, you mean "try to make sense"?

Unconditional love: Is a myth. The secret to true happiness: Also a myth

because they are absolutes?

[CSflim]

I'll tackle them in turn:

1. Inner Peace.

I've heard this vague phrase thrown about quite a bit, but I'm not entirely sure that I understand what is meant by it. (though I do have a sneaking suspicion that many of those who use the phrase frequently mean completely different things by it).
Since I don't really know what the phrase means, I can't really comment on whether I am looking for it. Maybe I am, maybe I am not.


2. Certain Hope Beyond Death
I don't believe in any life after death. I am not in the slightest bit afraid of death, because I know that when I am dead, I won't be around to experience it! I find it intersting that people constantly justify the "need" for religion, on the basis that without it, the entire population of the world would be living in a constant crippling despair about death - yet if always seems to me, from my own limited personal experiences, that it is usually the religious that are so obsessive about death, and the non-religious who are quite often completely blasé about the whole thing.

3. Everyone is looking to make sense of their troubles, trials, etc.
I guess so.

4. Unconditional Love
It would be nice...although this is more of an ideal to strive towards, rather than something you should expect to realistically achieve. (If you manage to; then good for you! )

5. The Secret of True Happiness
I think after a few thousands of years of philosophers asking this question, the answer should be clear; there is none.

[Charlatan]

I have searched for each of these things at some point in my life but discovered that they are unattainable. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't strive for answers... it's like the concept of Utopia, it is a practical imposibility to achieve but that isn't the point of a Utopia. The point is to constantly strive for perfection.


1. Inner Peace: It can never be found completely. You may find moments of peace but there is always something around the corner to disrupt this. The best one should hope for is to savour the few moments when you achieve balance in life, for balance *is* inner peace.

2. Certain Hope Beyond Death I don't believe in an afterlife or reincarnation so my belief is that beyond death there is nothing. I do not have hope or dismay about this, rather I am resigned to an end to all things.

3. Everyone is looking to make sense of their troubles, trials, etc. The quest for meaning in life *is* the point. You will never completely understand the complexity of life and your place in it, rather you need to live for today with a mind to your future. Find meaning in the small things rather than the large. To dwell too long on this is to lose yourself in a grail quest and miss out on the joys of life.

4. Unconditional Love There is no such thing, with one huge exception, your children. You may not like your kids but you will always love them... unconditionally. Everything else, in my opinion, needs conditions (even if they are small).

5. The Secret of True Happiness I don't believe there is such a thing as "true happiness". Happiness is not an absolute. Happiness is grey.



I realize that many find answers to these questions though faith, I have explored these avenues and found them wanting. I am not always happy but I am content in my simple approach to life.

[ngdawg]

Originally Posted by Daoust

...because you're hoping you're right?

Nah, hoping I'm wrong. There's some people I would take great pleasure in haunting

Originally Posted by Daoust

By figure out where I fucked up, you mean "try to make sense"?

Not so much make sense as to make sure I don't do it again. Perhaps that is the same thing, but seems to be a difference in there somewhere.

Originally Posted by Daoust

[because they are absolutes?

Because they simply don't exist. They are perceptions of perfection and there is NO perfection in life. Even the moon isn't perfectly round

[Daoust]

Is it a coincidence that the majority of the respondents who said they were not looking for these things defended their stand by denying the existence of those things?

"They don't exist and that's why even if I was looking for them I'd never find them"

Is that a cop out?

Is there anyone out there who'll admit that they believe there is inner peace, certain hope beyond death, some logical explanation for suffering, unconditional love and true happiness out there, but they just haven't found it yet?

[Charlatan]

Originally Posted by Daoust

Is it a coincidence that the majority of the respondents who said they were not looking for these things defended their stand by denying the existence of those things?

"They don't exist and that's why even if I was looking for them I'd never find them"

Is that a cop out?

I did look for these answers and came to very certain conclusions.

I also don't think that one should stop looking for answers to these questions, even if they think they know the answer (regardless of what the answer is). I am also flexible enough to realize that the answers to questions can change over time.

It isn't a cop out at all.

[CSflim]

Originally Posted by Daoust

Is it a coincidence that the majority of the respondents who said they were not looking for these things defended their stand by denying the existence of those things?

"They don't exist and that's why even if I was looking for them I'd never find them"

Is that a cop out?

Hardly. Why would someone spend time looking for something that doesn't exist?

Is there anyone out there who'll admit that they believe there is inner peace, certain hope beyond death, some logical explanation for suffering, unconditional love and true happiness out there, but they just haven't found it yet?

Well as I stated in my post, I don't know what inner peace is, so I don't know if I have it or not, nor do I know if I am looking for it or not. So I left that one open.

I don't need 'hope after death' because I'm not all that worried about death in the first place.

As for "Everyone is looking to make sense of their troubles, trials, etc.", not absolutely sure what is meant here, but yes, it sounds pretty reasonable, myself included. There is much that I can't make sense of.
You (seem to) recast this as "some logical explanation for suffering", and well...see my sig for my views on that.

Unconditional love: I don't have it (well except maybe from my parents, but I suppose that is not what was meant). Perhaps I will get it in the future. Perhaps not. Like I said, it is an ideal to strive for.

Also happiness most certainly exists. What doesn't exist is some simple painless easy 'secret formula'.

So to answer your question, I would say 'yes, they exist but I haven't found them yet' to numbers 3,4 and also to 5 in a qualified way.


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EDIT: In case this thread lives on longer than my referenced sig does, I may as well post it here:
“The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent, but if we can come to terms with this indifference, then our existence as a species can have genuine meaning. However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light.” - Stanley Kubrick

[Zeraph]

Inner peace is an ongoing process, one I have gotten moderate at. I found it through a lot of study and self reflection. For real, lasting inner peace one needs to be able to see the big picture and how one fits into it (hmmm or I did anyway, maybe this is different for different people.)

I have found, or made peace with death, whether there is an afterlife or not. I will always "have" this. I found this through experience, and self-reflection, on my way looking for inner peace.

I don't know what you mean by #3. But I see reasons for everything which goes back to seeing the big picture like inner peace.

Unconditional love I am looking for still. I know it exists because I can feel it's capacity within myself. This is very hard to find in another and within, near impossible. So I'll see how this one turns out as I age.

The secret to true happiness is a life of virtue and wisdom. Wisdom and virtue, which go hand in hand, are composed of compassion (understanding), intelligence (all 7 kinds), and knowing yourself (the hardest to master.)