Eurovision
 

Yes, it might be kitsch nonesense, but it is still a humiliation for England to come last!

Apparatently outside of the World Cup and the Olympics, it is actually one of the most watched events on television in the world.

The German girl who won was nice looking, but the problem is every year the UK just send clowns to represent us. Anyway, Greece were shit and they were in the top 10. And the Spanish were awful.

Next year we need to send a man who is guaranteed to win, a man recognised as one of the greatest in the history of his field... Slick Rick the Ruler!