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-   -   Warped and Twisted... (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-literature/90260-warped-twisted.html)

Irishsean 06-05-2005 09:30 PM

Warped and Twisted...
 
My eyes are closed and my hands are fisted,
Deep inside I'm warped and twisted.
Noone knows how I really feel,
All my dreams never to reveal.

I'm not special, I'm not gifted,
I'm just me, and I'm warped and twisted.
Noone cares about how I feel,
I've been crushed under another heel.

Call my mind, the number's unlisted,
Lost in someone so warped and twisted,
I've locked my heart with a heavy seal,
My pain and anger forever to conceal.



Comments are welcome...

vonstalhein 06-11-2005 02:58 PM

The first three lines of each stanza are strong, but, as is especially the case in the first stanza, the last line feels contrived, and it breaks the rhythm. I like the ideas though, but what would happen if you expressed yourself more in the last line instead of contriving a rhyme?


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