A few of my poems - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

thefictionweliv · 12-01-2004, 08:44 PM

I haven't really displayed any of my work recently until a friend read some to an art class and said they liked it. However forums are a little less forgiving so try to enjoy

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Sweetly entrapped into your whispers
Songs we sing so far from tune
Falling out from under cover
Into the refuge ever expanding
Longing for tall towers
And places so familiar
Tripping on shoes through the city
Spinning from planted feet
Spiraling skyward into eternity
For a moment I am the center

amonkie · 12-01-2004, 08:50 PM

"Tripping on shoes through the city
Spinning from planted feet"

These two lines just really caught my attention- I can really just SEE that! Thanks for sharing, I look forward to seeing more of your stuff

thefictionweliv · 12-10-2004, 01:08 AM

Swirling through time and change
Caressing essences of a brown gaze
Dancing in the smiles filling her face
Barely noticing every trip and fall
Seeing her rise injured but unaware
Letting me know I take good care
Of all the moments spent risen
Her gentle hands and mine embraced
Letting go reminds us of the pain
Desiring to never live alone again
One moment more and her lips assure

vonstalhein · 12-11-2004, 05:20 AM

Some nice little phrases, like the ones amonkie picked up on give your writing some nice personality. Plus, liking from Autumn to Ashes is cool. \m/

12-01-2004, 08:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
thefictionweliv Insane	A few of my poems I haven't really displayed any of my work recently until a friend read some to an art class and said they liked it. However forums are a little less forgiving so try to enjoy . Sweetly entrapped into your whispers Songs we sing so far from tune Falling out from under cover Into the refuge ever expanding Longing for tall towers And places so familiar Tripping on shoes through the city Spinning from planted feet Spiraling skyward into eternity For a moment I am the center Last edited by thefictionweliv; 12-01-2004 at 09:06 PM..

12-01-2004, 08:50 PM	#2 (permalink)
amonkie Drifting Administrator Location: Windy City	"Tripping on shoes through the city Spinning from planted feet" These two lines just really caught my attention- I can really just SEE that! Thanks for sharing, I look forward to seeing more of your stuff __________________ Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

12-11-2004, 05:20 AM	#4 (permalink)
vonstalhein Insane Location: Where You Live.	Some nice little phrases, like the ones amonkie picked up on give your writing some nice personality. Plus, liking from Autumn to Ashes is cool. \m/ __________________ No Win No Fee

12-10-2004, 01:08 AM	#3 (permalink)
thefictionweliv Insane	Swirling through time and change Caressing essences of a brown gaze Dancing in the smiles filling her face Barely noticing every trip and fall Seeing her rise injured but unaware Letting me know I take good care Of all the moments spent risen Her gentle hands and mine embraced Letting go reminds us of the pain Desiring to never live alone again One moment more and her lips assure