|
My poems/stuff
I thought I should make a unified thread rather than keep posting things on their own. Here is something I wrote the other day. I was in a bad mood. ;)
REWRITE The iron gant who haunted the silver birch wood of my childhood Deedication: One Crying Tear that freeze In the headlights of a Dark blue car Swinging round, outside my window; It's squaring me up I sense that one of these days It's going to run right through the wall And crush me into pieces. I used to think that I would be murdered One night in my bed By a man in a darak balaclava I used to see things sometimes In the half dark, I would see it raining indoors I wanted to scream in terror, but who is there to run to? There's still no one to run to. I never cried much as I got older There was no one to hold me There's still no one to hold me I might drift away one of these days Or more likely Sink to the bottom And lay there for a while. I see myself as a child I am a crippled boy I am a dead thing Decaying, What was one alive Was never enough To hold on to I was born in a thunder storm And a great black bat with huge leather wings Beat a slow menancing flight over the village in the rain The shadow crossing every home From the doctors house Up to the church And right across the lane. It moved from the place I was born Out to the sea It flew 37 miles from the coast In a north north east direction And then dropped down to the water Food for the fishes Now I am not the child who was stillborn I came to life that night A twisted, blighted, sub creation They couldn't face Smuggle it away Smuggle that thing away And stop it crying Stop it ****ing crying JUST STOP ****ING CRYING smother it with the blanket JUST STOP ****ING CRYING wrap it up Weight it with a couple of pieces of old masonary From the wall of the pub Where my father used to drink Before I killed him When he was dreaming When I was still in limbo Still in dreamland. I bit of each of his fingers Right down to the palm of his hand Cut open the chest Of a dead raven Stuffed a handful of daddy inside And it came to life And flew right at him Pecked out his eye's Silly **** He couldnt fight back He only had bloody little stumps for hands And he was dead drunk Poor silly **** He couldnt see Where he was going And he ran in front of an articulated lorry They had to scrape his body Off the road With an old man's shovel Oh, he'll never be able to clear The snow from his driveway And not think of it Again. If he had lived My mother might have gone ahead With the abortion That's what he wanted Yeah, I know for a fact That that was what he wanted. Let's not leave her behind Lets not leave her behind My funeral procession Dead baby and swaddling Cloth Take it down By the river and chuck it in It's just a stream really But what does it matter WHen you are dead When you have never lived Mummy's crying Back in a wooden bed In a damp little cottage ****ty place I'll come back and haunt it I'll make myself into a gale I'll blow and I'll blow and these ****ing walls will all fall in I'll make a pattern with 15 knives and clean them on your arms Up and down up and down You need to hold my hand I cant grip the handle properly My hand is to small The muscles never developed Wrap your mummy paw Around my tiny five digits We'll hold the knife together Help me Keep on hurting you Like you hurt me Like you killed me 26 years or something ago |
All of my bones
Arranged in a pile In the shape of a heart Which was broken Three ugly witches Dance round and round Singing show tunes Written in 1963 About Satan and the fall of the Kingdom of God All of my skin Is strecthed over This soccer ball It's thirteen layers Deep Take out my eyes And feed them to worms They can't see Anything Good anymore. Oh, but I'll still be standing Somewhere no doubt Get me a vodka And Lucozade Well, this can;t go on Forever But it feels indefinite Oh I'll be standing all right Dry eyed and grim A pale imitation Of the ghost I wished I was I wish my face Was covered with the scars Of every blow I've taken So everyone could see Where I've been A toadmap of pain But I'm just me Pale eyed and sullen Slinking between The liquer store and my room With ackward flat steps Doesn;t matter how drunk I get I'll always be the same Just a waste of ****ing skin A life that started out wrong I could never clear myself Of this false beginning On and on Feeling so unhappy Feeling so unworthy Drive in the knife What does it matter I can see your point Look at me Ugly fat ****ing **** Ugly fat ****ing **** Oh, is it always prone to such melodrama And over reaction? I'll just at home On my own Shut out the world And everyone It feels like a great Many tenticled Salivating monster It feels like prism Filled only with grey silence From every side It feels like a Beach In winter, cold and harsh Running from something unknown Just screaming and screaming It feels like a wall of radio static At every side Loud enough To make me death I was always deaf In that ear Anyway Oh, it wasnt your fault I've always been this way Tomorrow I'll take a big hammer And break every finger In every hand So I cant pick up the phone And call your voice There isnt any point There isnt any meaning Being together Just didnt work Wasnt what you wanted The things you saw Didnt turn out quite right We all have the right To be indecisive You never thought in absolute's Anyway You have your life to make I can appreciate You only have one chance to get it right So you have to be careful And I am never careful Oh, just leave right now It doesnt matter What was said What we did It was just another time Another thing Here is now And it doesnt matter anymore I'll take a sickle I'll take an axe I'll cut down three witches I'll slash them and smach them And grind them and bind them I'll pick up my bones And swim to the bottom of the sea And place my hand inside the mouth Of an ugly fish Bite it off I ****ing dare you Just to make me scream |
The bonfire
Which I lit Doused with petrol Laid out on this patch Of dusty ground Behind the fruit cage In front of the second lawn And the apple trees Is burning So pretty How much of my life Have I left behind I was an only child Because me and my Sister hardly spoke If I stood on the third wall Of the neighbours fence I could see the water tower And the row of tall tree's That stood to the left Poplars, I think A nest or ravens Scattered the sky I loved to watch Them, nature's poetry The hum of the stock cars Or motorcycle Speedway From the Foxhall track Filled my summer evenings The fish pond My little red boat That you couldnt make sink My sister's slide The cricket strip That patch of close trimmed lawn Which my father secretly doctored With mounds of earth To help his spin bowling This kitchen window Where me and dad Saw a UFO oh man, 15 years ago The hallway Where I carefully unpacked My Top Trump cars and raced them down the carpet Oh, it was a lonely childhood Sometimes Being an only child But I had friends too Back then Playing games on the +2 Upgrade it to Amgiga the three porno's That my Dad made me Never tell mum about on the old Betamax Thsi was the second part of childhood To go deeper Younger Further Well, I might as well Start with my first sister She died when I was 5 The day after she was born Never knew her Never saw her Never held her What could she have been? Who would she have been? Fruitless to ask I'm sorry that life Worked out that way Really, it breaks my heart When I really think of it But I hardly ever do I can say honestly I never shed a single tear He rname was Eve Cos mine was Adam Kind of tacky I guess But it seems I dont know I doesnt matter Anymore Anyway damp wallpaper It was white Faded grey with dirt Red flowers, with no body curled like barbed wire A shadow Faded light A blow A punch I pretended not to hear I was always the coward I was always the one Who never got What was coming to him I used to think Maybe this house Was haunted I used to lie to myself I used to wish I had a gun I tried to kill myself When I was 11 Half heartedly Oh, I didnt really mean it I'm still alive, after all So I couldnt have really meant it It scared Father I think He slapped me I ran away and cried And thought hard thoughts of murder Heavy hammers And fragile skulls Tearing and choking Burning and screaming with laughter At the burned out cars And the corpse within Oh, I neevr did Say how I felt He used to call me Best Pal I used to hate him If I could go back now Things would not be the same Punch me in the mouth I dare you I'll bite off your hand I'll grind my teeth into your wrist And I'll twist and I'll spit The flesh that I tear Right back into your face I'll take the butter knife With the creamy beige handle And flash it across your face As you duck and come back With a fist read to stike I'll smach that glass bowl Right into your face The one that I dropped When I was 7 or 8 And you went crazy over Yeah, irony and me We go a long way back I'll grind the sharp broken edges Right into your face I'll sink my teeth into your neck I'll Gnash my teeth till they break And rip out every vein And atory I can find I'll place my hands On your temples And squeeze Liek the test of strength guy Until my rage implodes Oh, are you getting this? oh, are you getting this? My anger is impotent More savage for it The truth is more demeaning I was always the same Slipped under the radar The kidn that no one felt Sure about Dull eyes, hands that could make Fists, but never do Oh, my childhood Is gone Is gone Look at me now Right now At this very instant A fat piece of **** Drinking beer Living in a **** hole Without a girl Or a world or a dream Or anything Well Thats how it seems. |
I was sleeping lightly
When unseen footsteps scampered past my bed The door downstairs kept slamming Your ghost was here again I'll pick up my courage I'll shape and mould my indifference Yeah, you always said I was so cold Your touch feels like ice to me The telephone is silent, mocking I'll pick it up and grind it into shreds Against this wall one day Dare me one more time... you know I'm strong enough. I'll take this birthday cake And cut it straight down the middle I'll leave my half till it's stale And chuck it in the trash I'll feed your half to dogs Oh, that'll teach you Huh? I'll jump out of bed Grabbing a fire iron in a heavy fist Shoulders swinging and surly I was always so craven and aggressive I repressed this side of me Most the time Try and haunt me And I'll heavy swing this iron giant Right through the hole inside of you It'll go straight through I'll bare my teeth You'd better disappear I saw you in a bar the other day Dont know if you noticed me I drank my drink, and then another Then walked out without saying a thing Oh, you always said I was cold Well, maybe you were half right But listen I am not some robot I am not without care But you can look right into my eyes They will be cold and dry A little dead and flat Reminds me of a thing I once read The father of a famous killer Described his whole life as so: A broad, flat pain That ran thrugh everything Oh, I know just what he felt The father, of course, I mean. You were my special girl I wrote you a few poems That were nicer than this Less honest, more authentic Do you know the difference When I loved you I told myself you did Maybe you dont, maybe you do I dont really know And that is the reason You never call That is the reason You felt that we should just be friends or a big part of it Oh sometimes I act all wrong But I am not unself-aware |
On this particular day
There is nothimg that we say That really matters 'S how it seems, you'll Be walking through a crisp Fall air, the darkness is expectant Will soon be filled WIth kids and costumes, later - snow's Or idea's of that kind Jingle bells, that dream you had That one special christmas When you were old enough to understand, young enough to believe. And my birthday But you didnt know that. Maybe it's your birthday? oh, I just dont know There is not information To weave between us Anything at all I'll be looking at the same sky As I walk the streets round my way Hands stuffed in warm pockets Eyes down, jaw set, I dont like the space The stars, the open ground I like walls around me You probably feel the opposite Most people do Listen This is my love song I wrote it down for you At some point, we will stare At the same empty sky The same atrocity of space Look at the stars Such tiny fallible glitters Of light, pathetic against The vast blanket of nothing That enfolds them In such moments Perhaps we will have the Same frightening epiphany That we are nothing That are lives mean nothing That we we are a fragment So small and puny That nothing we can ever do Or achieve has any cosmic significance The sky is so empty So full of terrible potential It will collapse on us all With a frighteing velocity What follows No one living shall know We both have our ideas I expect The same as everyone. Listen, I'll right you a second stanza I'll clarify it for you It's kind of like The space behind your old house When you were a kid It went on forever It made you feel timeless I'll write you a love song Though I'm not sure I started out right |
I was born in 1978
At the end of winter And nobody came to the funeral A west wind blew For forty Days And forty one nights Scattering garbage In a vast circle In the centre of which Was my life I took an old fashioned straight Razor, and made 99 cuts On the inside of my arm All in a line Pretty like soldiers Weeping blood Like wine I dug up the grave Of my oldest ancestor And took the same knife Cut the corners up from their mouth Oh, a Chelsea smile Where would we be In this world of ours Without a sense of humour My arm never scars No one can see All of the marks That show where I'm from The pain is inside Maybe One Day I'll get better |
The sky was red last night
shepherds delight thats what they say I carefully studied the rings you wear One on each finger I like the one with the Celtic sign And the green cut glass I liked the green thread You braided into your hair But they made you take it out It didnt fit in With the regulations Of the school board So you wore a short skirt instead The sky was red this morning Shepherd's warning Thats what they say Thats what he said I'm not of the world But you are a part of the world entrenched in time and place You exist right here On this patch of sun burnt grass The dog running circles around you As you stare at the blue sky At an ugly little white cloud That looks like an old man That you hate I see confusion in your eyes Something is coming You cant quite make it out Shrug your shoulders Walk back inside, shoulders slightly slumped Reach through the cans of beer That stack the fridge And pick out a Pepsi instead I remember I remember Memor is important To me, because it is where I concentrate my energy You used to play hop scotch in the street Like a little dinosaur Like a hungry, angry raptor Catious and vicious Who's beauty can turn into great velocity At the slightest spark I think you're a hexagon You have six sides and they all face each Other, A different look for Each day of the week, and on Sunday you can be yourself. I think you're like an alarm clock I think you're like a TV show Where the people all know each other And tell the same jokes every week It's safe there, and you always know Who gets the girl And the down on his luck guy Always has his adventures And always gets some other girl To lose, how careless She will end up with the good looking neighbour The dramatic tension shifts You might get one more series Then she'll turn up in some other show Like an angry dinosaur One day she'll be a single mum And find some Argentine dream boat A life of happy endings And new beginnings Somehow it always works out A sense of cosmic justice You would call it karma I call it gravity The sky was green last night From where I stood 6 foot underwater I thought you were a fish With skin that was gold and yellow and grey Pink and sky blue and white You swam 15 circles around me I had a strange epiphany You never wore green braids in your hair You just had green eyes You never gave me those transfer tattoo's That freaked my mother out that time Cos you always lived miles away (so where the hell did I get them?) You never wore that celtic ring I never bought it for you From the new age traveller on Felixstowe market You never taught me Hebrew words You were raised in another church So who taught me Hebrew words? I know it wasnt them Man, I KNOW it wasnt them I must have been thinking about someone else Someone I've never known Someone who has never been Here. I'll grab a flight right now And bring you a mirror I'll leave it by your front door And ring the bell and run I'll sail the sea In a pea green boat With an owl And a Golden retriever If it sinks We'll swim I'm 6 foot underwater Looking up at you Your standing on a mountain Frowing at the middle distance Your eyes Match the sky From down here And when you come down the mountain You'll play a populat show tune On my skeleton They left it lying on the beach Use the Femur and the knee cap As the instruments Bang out the tune on my ribs If you hit the high notes too hard And my skull falls off Dont worry about it It makes such pretty music We all need pretty music We all love pretty music Water melon, cookie dough, crocodile, hammer Cookie dough, crocodile, hammer, Madison crocodile, hammer, Maddison hammer, Madison Madison Madison Madison Madison |
sandpit, sand castle
1980's lets race our toy cars Around the edge of the sand And they'll crash and they'll start And the winner will always be The one you hold In the left hand If you win You have to be my best friend If I win I have to be your best friend I keep racing ahead and stopping so you can catch up I want to win But I want to lead all the way Back then I was too young To have the self awareness To think about anyone else My scheme Just fitted into your scheme Yeah, I see that now. Lets skip on a few years Lets leave behind a Few scraped knee's A few early summer evenings Down the old rec Lets leave out The poplar trees and the seagulls Lets leave out the time On the old school field When the fog came in so deep That you couldnt see the far fence And the back yards of the house on St Lawrence's I was fascinated I was enthralled I loved it when they turned the lights On in the day It made me feel protected From what was outside Let's leave out the rounders games Let's leave out the rain And the wind And the pink parker coat With the fur hood That you used to wear And the white knee socks Pulled all the way up To the knee Lets get past the memories Lets get to where it's at I bought a pewter mug today With German writing on I bought it just for how it would look, I have other glasses and mugs That are adequate And you, shook your head And smile I would almost imagine You ruffled my hair God, it means so much I needed this so much For the longest time Listen No, I changed my mind Don't listen I cant find the words Instead, close your eyes And see The hot grass in the summer The sidewalks echoing the heat This space that was built To be filled with people Running here and there And everywhere Oh, and everywhere Run, run, run, run I see you here, on these streets You dont run And the world moves in slow motion, because you are there This girl, I talked about with all my friends On the quite One to one She wasnt the one everybody chased But I bet they wished they did Now. Dark hair, swinging like a hurracaine At every delicate shrug of those shoulders Oh, what would it feel like if those shoulders were To nudge into my chest jokingly, and rest there cheeck against my chin... Oh God! What would that feel like? Eye's full of spakle The sweater she wears Always is too big in the sleeves Not tight enough Across the chest Oh well... oh well... And she dictates the Pace that the whole world moves at Cos without her, its just a place Just a mess of reactions and actions Just a school, just a college, just a job Just a bunch of people, just a wall Just a car, just a bottle, just a TV show If I'd have been there then, the world Would have been so different Oh. I'd have changed it I'd have changed it I'd have changed We'd have cut class Sometimes Not too much And played pool I'd get drunk on two beers Just to impress you I'd pretend I was letting you win Even if you beat me And you would know I'd be there right now On a desert island With lush coconut trees and fresh strawberry's I'd make you a dwelling And we would lie on the beach Every night And talk about the strange Frightening poetry of the cars I'd never be afraid In your arms You are 1988 You are 1989 You are 1990 You are 1991 You are 1992 You are here right now You are here right now You are the ocean You are the North Sea so powerful so beautiful so cold so full of everything a million fish swam in the pattern of the star of St David last night while I was asleep Lets go to church I wont tell them That my Dad was Jewish They'll never find out And I know you'll never tell them Your hair is the colour of summer I want to decorate it With the sticky weed That used to grow on the school field I want to take you to a bbq And run away together to the bottom of the garden Behind the sandpit Where we used to race cars I used to play soccer Against the wall If I saved the goal I would be happy I would be happy I need you to save me To throw your body down In the long grass Between the apple tree's The ball hits the palsm of your hands As you get soaked with dew The ball spins wideof the post And I will be happy And I will be happy For all time I will be happy I want to take you to Loch Ness And drive round and round 100 times And the monster Will jump up and dance in front of us And we wont notice because we are too busy I want to take you to the very patch of earth My dad parked his car SOme 27 years ago And I want to walk hand in hand With you Right on past it And not even notice I know a few good restuarants In that part of London So why would we care About the other stuff Lets go to New York You were planted there a Few years ago I want to see the flowers That grow there right now Youre like a venus flytrap You are mythical Youre like a brand new digital camara You are a lot more than all of that Lets go to New York I'll get a job working in accounts I'll come home With my tie loose And my collar loose And my jacket hanging of my shoulders I'll take your hand And kiss every finger tip Five times And we will live in an apartment Featured in Friends And I'll be the guy Somehow connected to Joey through some fleeting Misunderstanding I'll high five Chandler Every time we meet in the corridor And you'll be down with Rachael Go shopping together Yeah, I got this **** planned out We'll make our own death star And travel the galaxy And we will find a plannet And we'll spare them And live there Happily ever after as King and Queen Listen I never really knew How to say how I felt This poem Was just my attempt To set it out Let me pour you a glass of bubble gum Let me buy you A netball skirt Oh, if things could have been different They would be so different If only things could have been different It would have been so much better I wish things could have been different I wish I could fall asleep tonight Kissing your hair Kissing your hair Kissing your hair Kissing your hair Kissing your hair Kissing your hair |
My pale, pragmatic, Polish Princess
I dont know if your name Is Brittany or Katie I can't figure it out You stand over me Like a collosus Like the opposite of a porpoise Like the Easterly wind. Youre like a tri-angle The sum of your interior angles Is constant, fixed, mathematical Lets stand arm in arm Let me hold your hand And we'll walk by the old river And down to the park I used to play rounders When I was a kid And we will shout at the people Walking their dogs Walking their kids Walking their loves I'll be shouting "This is the real thing" And you'll be shouting "I am Spartacus! I am Spartacus! I am Spartacus!" Let me take to the shop At the end of the street I used to live I will buy you a bottle of barley wine But only if you promise To share it with your friends |
posted 21 September 2004 02:33 AM
Everybody here Says I'm fragile Everybody here Thinks their tactile Everybody here Hates me to smile I think you're a Pteradactyl I dont love you I dont like you I dont hate you Just wish I had Never met you. |
This evening tastes like the city
On a hot summer day This wine is the color of blood That lives inside of me I closed my eyes and wished that I could be Invisible, but You held onto me Oh, the world could end on a night like this Come and stand in my arms Close to me Oh, the world could end on a night such as this Rest your face on my chest Let me kiss your hair The air tonight is humming with distant static Like an untuned radio The old factory tonight, it is haunted At the back of our street By Yesterday I closed my eyes and wished I could be infinite Spread out, and you touched My arm, lightly with your Hand, and held me together, All bound up. And the world could end on a night like this Let me hold you under the stars And let us listen To the city and the night And let me kiss your hair Because the stars are still there. |
Just moving all my stuff into this thead:
A line of vodka Clenchs inside My chest, I still feel shaky Since last night And my elbows feel numb My black tide This rusty wave Corroding me I always end up Back where I began Back to what I was born Into The cola tastes bitter The mix is too strong The sky is epileptic I shut it out And turn off the phone My black tide No matter how hard I try I cannot become An absolute I just keep walking I'm still afraid I still dont get it Today I dont want to talk to anyone Today I do not want my name to be spoken By anone, they dont understand Nobody cares, I know in such moments Of bitter clarity, That there is not A single person in the whole world Who loves me. Of course, no one decreed it had to be this way I just started wrong, kept down this path Living a life, but not of the world Oh so they say, not of this world Thats what they say, but I dont Belong anywhere, I just keep telling the space That one day I pull myself together. But there is a long way down still More terror that awaits me With nothing to abjugate it But more of this, getting by A joke, a beer, a line of vodka That clenchs my chest, a girl A night, a disappointment, a Searching, self loathing An unspectacular dawn, bird stained and hungry, the sun uncertain But shining all the same Then my black tide The same corrosion Rusty wave Back here again I'm me again "Oh father, my mouth is full of stars" Thats a line from a book I remembered well Oh father, I'll be there with you One day, one day, and there Will be songs and sunlight and flowers And the world will be beautiful We'll stand side by side And I will be weeping Oh father, what have you done To me, how could I allow you to walk by my side After everything? I'll buy you a whisky and sour I'll kick your head in in the alleyway I'll kiss the sole of your boot If you lay on your back And stick your legs in the air |
Today, the sky was grey and threatened
Rain which did not come Today I went through the motions of life and you werent there Today I drank too much and felt sorry For myself, somewhat ashamed Today threatened lightening That did not come Today I didnt kiss you, didn't Wake up in your arms Today I cried, while reading a tacky love story on the internet And no one was there to see It didnt mean anything. 2 This evening tastes like the city On a hot summer day This wine is the color of blood That lives inside of me I closed my eyes and wished that I could be Invisible, but You held onto me Oh, the world could end on a night like this Come and stand in my arms Close to me Oh, the world could end on a night such as this Rest your face on my chest Let me kiss your hair The air tonight is humming with distant static Like an untuned radio The old factory tonight, it is haunted At the back of our street By Yesterday I closed my eyes and wished I could be infinite Spread out, and you touched My arm, lightly with your Hand, and held me together, All bound up. And the world could end on a night like this Let me hold you under the stars And let us listen To the city and the night And let me kiss your hair Because the stars are still there. 3 posted 04 September 2004 10:11 AM We talk less and less these days I dont remember how it started I dont remember the exact point Which we started to move away From one another. The distance now is not so great With an effort we could close it Hold on tighter to each other But every day brings greater difficulty. And you, who I lived like an only friend, will go whichever way you always wanted, I'm sure. I guess I'll Be ok, It isnt your fault, Im sure Ive always been this way. One day, we might walk past each other In the street, and I wouldnt speak, I might nod a little, or just pretend not to See. It might hurt for a second, but not Enough to change anything. 4 Mother Another sunny day, another long sunny day. I'll never forgive you for the words you never spoke to me. When I think of you, its always linked to geography Here is the greenhouse, here the hall closet, here the sandpit Where I cut my knee, you gave me iodine, I smelled booze on you Even now I cant hate you, it hurts my heart still to think Of you small and unprotected, but what does it mean What good can it do, you are of no value to me now. You still meen something, but it diminishes each day. I'll write you a poem, because there's nothing left to say 5 Sky Blood Red Raining Fire The sun has gone out. An atrocity of light Purges the earth Tears that rupture, your heart implodes The world was supposed To End in a Whimper Not a bang. Ashes, ashes, grey vision Unseen, a pile of Junk that was once a home Is now blasted ruin, shapes That mean nothing anymore. 6 Imaginery scars run all directions over my skin Like a roadmap of all the places that I've been Here is my father, here is a broken down car Here is my mother, here an out of tune guitar. My eyes are damp with all the tears I've never cried When I lost love, hope, when my baby sister died If I could cry one last time, I would cry for you all If you ever cried for me, if you ever cried at all My heart feels heavy with the doubt and mistrust One day everything will be dust. I never wanted to be the way I am, Never wanted to be unhappy I should have smiled more, I should have been a different me. My neck is aching, angular, waiting for a rope Waiting for a parting, waiting for a note Here is my father, here is a broken down car Here is my mother, here is an out of tune guitar Here is my sister, here is an unused pack of cards Here is my gravestone, here is a mirror reduced to shards Here is my love, here is a empty burnt out hard drive Here is my world, here is a beautiful meadow filled with summer flowers and a warm pacifice blue sky, the distant sound of children's laughter, a late afternoon sky, and a grass stained boy running happily, a butterfly, the big old tree's that line the left of here, and the boy is running happily, and now is gone. 7 My Love, here, inside, everywhere My love, dressed in a little black dress And tennis shoes, with hair That is different colours My love, came to me like an Angel Which is Greek for messanger Appeared to me like an Angel The message was always inside of me My love, who doesnt understand Why helicopters fly, who Doesnt understand why homeless people Have nowhere to go and no one to love I was homeless too, some of the time I was living here, my heart Is just a muscles that pushes the blood Round and round my body. My love, you are the heart of my life I want to kiss your finger tips I want to sit with you, and drink diet soda And watch crappy TV shows and you will laugh when I make fun of them My love, how can I explain, how can I record in words, the feeling of being together, the syncronisity (sic) of movement The way it feels when you rest your arm against mine, without thinking of it. 8 So, just be... and be The windows in my home All look outwards The desk and the telephone Always just sit there Sometimes I feel I'll always be alone When you're not here The sky in my town is always grey Except the sun Occasionally lights the way Long enough to get an idea Of a childhood unused, memories, they Suffocate sometimes I keep remembering you, I cant forget The way your hair felt, when I ran My hands across it, unthinking, The Shape of shoulder, the exact shade of pacific of your eyes, all these Things mean nothing because I am dead. 9 Gasping, shuddering, crying Inside, clinging to something That falls apart in your Hands. Gravity will be Stronger. Screaming, quaking, dying Silently, a blanket replaces your soul, to Sleep forever and never Dream. Silence, a grey stone Unseen, broken apart People come to remember But they really come here To forget. 10 My love is like electric My love is like he media It's eveywhere Babies are born Thousands of times a Day, in every land For each baby, a light Fot each baby, her media his media, their Electric For each baby Strange media For each baby Electric lights 11 wrapped in three layers of coat I shiver down the garden path Armed with a cricket stump And the first become the last Dead water, waiting to be reborn Devoid of memory, knowledge. The grass whitened by frost The wind shouldered by the hedge That runs by the left of me Dead water, numb hands, heavy swing there's something alive under here I dont know, I dont know anything. 12 Days bleed into weeks Years, I am dying Why arent they screaming Like me? The sky burns with Temporary power So transient So unsure The school field God, was it really Twenty years ago? Listen to the cries Of yoy and children's games It's always summer The grass is hot and green And the world was bigger Now, as it contracts I cannot believe the Time has gone I cannot tell where The time has gone God, was it really Twenty Years ago? Such Dread, excites, no words Can tell how the sky Looked back then Sat in my back yard The Trees beyond the Neighbours fence The Apple Tree What does it mean I know that it has Gone, and it will Never be again And to think of it Makes me cry, and This is all that I Can say 13 Dying, Life Scraped Away To Bones And Decay The Sky Darkens A Storm Is Coming, Terror Gravity, A Kiss A Great Velocity Tearing From Night Sky, The Stars Are Bleeding, My Sight Implodes, My Mouth Is Full Of Worms Cannot See, Cannot Feel That The World Still Turns. Cannot See, Cannot Think Cannot Cry, Cannot Sink 14 The sky is spinning and tumbling The ground is shaking and rumbling My heart is cold and suddenly cold My universe, my house, my world Contract, the sea's are rising higher The plants are all dying, the fire has gutted everything, left only Junk, and ashes, and nobody to see. 15 Grey summer, a clammering Of noise and white against A green background. I can still remember The exact texture and Feel of your stocking And my hand, a movie theater Half empty, its never Half full My dreams I lay out before me My castle is broken My home is my castle My castle is broken I remember discoteqthes In nylon flurescence Sweating cheap booze And the shape of a girl In the eclectic night, False dawn. I remember the play park Behind the shopping arcade And 20 Silk Cut Ultra. Still in her uniform Jesus, would you look, Would you look at this now? I lay out my dreams before me I swallow them Drenched in sex and fear I swallow them Im starving for you. |
posted 30 October 2004 10:24 AM
Rewrite this poem! It's about a girl XXIII I walked in 15 circles Round and round and round Last night while I was sleeping Starting at the church at the top of my old lane And back round to the gypsy girl grave I stood on the tatty grass and jumped up and down Shouting "Mary, Mary 1, 2, 3" But nobody is haunting me Yet When I woke up my knees and wrists Were covered in grass stains I wanted to call you this morning But somehow I didnt End up doing it What could I say? You would surely Think I was making it up I couldnt sleep walk that far. I've got 24 cans of beer And two microwave prawn curries Sitting my fridge right now Oh, a bachelors life for me I'll leave a stack of dirty magazines On the back of the toilet Manhood is so confirmed I'll set fire to the very clothes on my back If its what you want I'll let my bite my wrist Sink your teeth in as far as you can And drink your fill Oh, I'd let you do all of this I'll place you in my minds eye If I cant see you anywhere Else. You'll probably be Up for a couple of hours By the time Ive strugled out of bed My hangover encasing me in Depression and fatness You'll probably be wearing a lime green skirt And strappy tights And a blue top Well, I told you before I was color blind You didnt ****ing care I see now you are so cold You'll probably tie back your hair You'll probably go shopping with a friend You might mention me once or twice Unflatteringly No doubt What tied us together Was never strong enough To hold, when we both moved At different frequencies Look, Im not blaming you Everyone has the right to the life They want, why would it help Having a guy like me around Just dragging things down I can keep joking 72 hours straight But eventually I run out of lines There's something else in you I have always felt As if I had a very meagre soul The core of me was an emptiness I disguise behind automatic reactions And other people's lines You took a blunt pen knife And cut into my chest Spent all night Whittling away the skin And sawing through my ribs Cut to the left side of the heart Couldnt find what you were looking for The final rush of expectation Just revealed another hole That was suddenly coming out of my back You stitched me back up alright And replaced my flesh With kitchen paper Dipped in mint cordial and rum Oh, I feel minty fresh Alright If you cried I would kiss your tears Or something I promise I wouldnt pretend I didnt see I promise I wouldnt poke out my eyes Pour cement inside my ears And lock myself in the trunk of your car Lets go back in time Look, I know what I am doing How I betray myself Say I dont care, then carry on so much Say that I care, then never really be there For you Im not an idiot you know Remember the BBQ I took you too It rained most the day And they had to set up in the conservatory We sat in the doorway of the summer house You looked very pretty I could touch your hair Just at the ends I could kiss the side of your jaw I could hold you and keep you safe There's a lot of things I could protect you from I really wish you were here right now So I wasnt writing this ****. _ "Jesus said: If those who lead you say to you: See, the kingdom is in heaven, then the birds of the heaven will go before you; if they say to you: It is in the sea, then the fish will go before you. But the kingdom is within you, and it is outside of you. When you know yourselves, then you will be known, and you will know that you are the sons of the living Father. But if you do not know yourselves, then you are in poverty, and you are poverty" - The Gospel of Thomas |
posted 04 November 2004 02:02 PM
Yo, Things... Things keep changing I was sitting back, I never expected A sharp pain, a tender shock I never expected a metal bat Around the head A pearing knife In th eback of the knee I'm walking, wounded I wear my blood stains with price Makes red hand prints All round the neighbourhood Pull on my hooded jacket Wrap a scarf around my face I got a big metal bat And a couple of knives Of my own All the little things All the little places Everything I said about The nature of time and all of the saints SO it comes to this My only friend My sweetest embrace My ugly star Your light is unpure It blinds me all the same Temporarily I listened to that song For a length of days I couldnt count On this tally roll one at a atime I see now where the edges were frayed Where the sparkle was just rrefraction Grim muddy light bursting through broken class Spilt on the floor After a rough school disco You want to dig me up From my shallow grave And use my bones For your witchcraft Do what you have to do Hate how you have to hate Bring a spade and pentogram And a latin book Of Satanic songs Bring a length of rope And ten black candles Some deadly nightshade and a dozen roses Hate how you have to hate, man Do what you have to do Cos guess what, Im not buried were you left me Im walking the moors All wild and frightening With my big metal bat My pair of knives My hooded jacket My hooded eyes Oh, Ive been feeling like **** For a little long while Oh, you didnt know Guess what I didnt care Anyway |
The world is like a trap
Jaws poised, sharp, biting The taste of velocity and steel Brings a certain shock I'll clench a fist if it catches my wrist I'll bare my teeth Bite through the metal One handed fool Oh mother, I dedicate Plath To you, oh Daddy I just want to kill you I could make it poetic But I just want to choke you With this protestant hands I'm bigger than you These days, oh I could do it Best believe, son, I could so it Oh mummy, you silly fat cow All you did was drink and cry What use is that to me? I'll do the mans work this laural hedge I remember it well The way the leaves felt wet with dew sometimes The frozen fish pond Tall poplars, speedway bikes Im not poetric, I'll makes My own poetry This part of my life The last part of the first part Doesnt belong to you Oh, you wish it did It doesnt belong to you I know you wish it did Whatever you did to me Couldnt crack this facade In a way that would reflect Back to the front again Oh you disagree? SO fist fight me right now I'll beat the **** out of you You think I cant Come and try me I swing my fists like heavy bats I am stronger now These days Naw, it doesnt belong to you It is with Stephanie I havent seen her in years She was younger than me Too much Look, nothing happened We used to play in her Back yad, I used to sleep on the heath A couple of times a year Try and catch me? I'll bite like an adder So Steph, how are you doing I romantacize you Cos you were one of the only Things that happened to me Between 1987 and 1990 That I feel good about You must be 21, 22 by now Maybe one day we'll meet again You know Friends Reunited Or something like that If the guy that you date now Doesnt treat you right I'll kick off his door Choke him and slam him Oh, he doesnt think I'm strong enough He'll find out You'll kiss my finger tips I'll run my hands through your hair Or something Look, Im not an idiot I know its unrealistic The past, the present I can pretend I have to do something You know? Oh Stephanie I hate my mother I hate my father dont talk about my sister Your hair was the colour of gold When the sun shined At a certain angle |
posted 05 November 2004 04:51 PM
Listen to the sound of a dead man breathing Very quietly It only happens When you turn off the lights He gets closer His eyes are red And if he touches my hand With his skeleton bones It'll be a fist, or a throat You know what I mean? His eyes are red The colour of Hades The colour of an incredible scream of rage and Hate and anger That fills the whole the world With its viciousness I will roar I will bite your neck Im not talking about Some stylized Dracula **** There is a dead girl Who's been here, oh I dont... 45 years? Her brother pushed her tricycle In front of a sand truck By accident They had to scrape the remains Off the road with a shovel She lived in this house Dont know if she slept in this room Or not There is an adder There is a dead goldfish There is an old battered metal filing cabinet Filled with bank statements And porn You were my girlfriend For 75 days or so Then you left me Well, I can see why And I dont say so To seem like I do Or make you feel sorry I do actually understand It wasnt anything I said it would be You could cope with the obvious stuff It was the unsaid words Inside of me No, I never knew what to say SO most of the time I just talk bull**** instead I cant even find Any natural sense of poetry Now you are gone You still call me all the time Every other week Same thing Big difference Right? What do you want? I told you once So I told you a thousand times I am not religiously Or ethnically Jewish Just because my father was I ****ing hate him Anyway Ive killed him in a lot of dreams Sometimes he just dies And I find another life Another me You didnt cure me of that huh? if youre so ****ing clever You didnt cure me of that Yeah, I understand Why you thought it was best This way I might repress these little things But I see the sky And I see thd dirt Everything between Is just gravity or Evaporation Right? I had ten friends five watched the sixth Stab me in the back with a phillips head Screwdriver two I never really liked anyway the other two, who knows one of them might be ok I think, anyway Ive got a bottle of vodka Ive got two bottles of Vanilla coke Do you see what Im doing Here? I had a girlfriend I had others before her They were all good people In their own ways Some more, some less They all were ok And I did my best They could have done worse I could have done better We never connected In a way that the scattering winds of fate could not pull apart Angela, You were the first girl I ever saw naked We grew apart By middle school So dont go around Telling people Im superficial Cos I didnt reply to some anonymous Valetimes card You sent me when you were 15 We were not together 3 years already I dumped you I dont reemmeber why So maybe you dumped me I'll take the blame If it makes you happy BUt it was a long time before You hit 300 lbs Becky I had this crazy thing For at least 2 years And I never even spoke to you It was all the way I was in Mr Lawson's class And the first year With Mr Bevan Its really ****ed up I have no idea who you are That you took 2 years of my Attention I cant even guess What colour hair you had Jo, oh, you were to clever for me But I was not so stupid That I couldnt see When you took the piss School ties for bondage In the woods behind the football pitch It will always be One of my fondest memories I heard you were a doctor check out my website In case you didnt hear I am a frustrated revolutionary I am a wannabe intellectual Im not quite smart enough But I know how to pretend Emma, Emma B Everyone used to call you On account of the fact There were so many girls With your name in our year The less said the better About those few months I heard that you had a steady girlfriend now All I can say Is that it wasnt as sexy As people would think That you were a lesbian Gemma, yeah, that was never going to work I introduced you to a guy Who sold you drugs I never told you at the time But the way you styled your hair Was really ****ing stupid You know what I mean? Manda First love I guess, all that sort of thing My Jewish princess I guess I never felt like you did My world was an imitation I never felt so bad Never was so strong Never was so indifferent Everything I act like You were the archetype And you really are a pretty girl We'd still be together If I had had my way You know And so when I was sat cold eyed And lonely Staring at a screen A pint of vodka and coke A sad sad poem You cried your eyes out So, when I read my poems out To that red haired girl You were telling your counseller That you really didnt care What the difference was Between a butterfly and Satan So, so, so, what? All those spikey haired creeps You gravitate around I could beat the **** out of any of them Dont believe me? Try me Seriously You know? Leila, last time we spoke Was when you failed all your exams You used to talk About your modelling work I have to say I acted more Impressed than I was convinced You refused to so much Let me undo the top three buttons Of your blouse You used to write poems And they were even worse than mine I say this with some certainty And thats saying something Mary, now in my university You were the best You could be I did my best too It was the wrong time for both of us You will always have a place in my life Cos I will never ever get tired Of telling the story Of how you dumped me On valentines day By text message At half time of my soccer game hehe Rebecca, Im not saying this Unaware of the irony But if you lost a little weight I think you would have been happier I remember when I met your dad He kept buying me beers He was a nice guy I hope he is keeping well Louise Ok, this is tenous We only went on one date And we never even kissed Plus I turned up for dinner Completely pissed I just wanted you to know Your a good girl An excellent soccer player I have a photo Of you and Matty Parker In an album somewhere He was the only Orient fan That I've ever met Stefanie... Well, now Onto tender ground You liked to spell your name Stephanie instead The first spelling Says a lot About me, not you, I think Too much to say, too close, too distant If I had been stronger No way would have I let you go I dont think you wanted me too You were the second one I was really serious about 2 years, and then another year Or the best part of it Is not something you do likely I cherish the fact That Daryl Sutch Tried to pull you Ok, Im joking I really loved you I mean it, really loved you I understand There was something incompatible In a way we were too alike But I'll always be there When you call Katie, you were good fun And you gave me free booze Your number one with me You and your crazy ex And me If I was a more reckless man I'd have beaten him up for you Or else got my head kicked in Either way Would have worked for you I guess Jenny, my latest squeeze The disappointment I feel Is the most fresh But in the way Cuts shallow Against my well calloused wrists I think we were Just at different stages Of our lives If we had collided 2 years earlier or a year later It really would have stood a chance I dont know Who do I think I am Anyway Alanis Morrisette? Ive got half a bottle of vodka Ive got a bottle of coke Ive got a begtable knife Ive got sleek black telephone Ive got a signed photograph Of Christina Ricci Ive got a dead sister Ive got a alcoholic mum, am abusive dad And two screw up's Who adopted me Ive got a sister Who got dumped by her boyfriend I know this woman Who is dating my mum Who is getting her into drugs Ive got a baseball bat Ive got a bad temper I will walk the block From the Chinese Takeaway Round to the Baptist church Up to the Bank at the lights Down to the double roundabout Anyone I see When I walk my squared Circle I'll ask them free questions If their gentiles I'll give them three whacks With my big heavy bat Right in the knee caps Then I'll pinch their mobile phone I'll carry my loot In a big linen sack And take it to a charity shop Bash the window in Steal all their paperback books Lug them all the way back home And sell them on Amazon I'll come to this board With varying degrees of success I'll name names I'll sing songs For the people who speak I'll quote the gospel of Jesus' twin When you know yourself You shall be known When you know yourselves You shall be known The people I talk for Are not anywhere Close, far away Purple elctric Carving knife, tedy bear Liquorice water, monkey nuts Dried apricots, weighing scales Blue chipped paint, coal bunker, frozen soccer ball Sister swing Sister slide Sister paddling pool Anderson shelter Top Trumps Rats and Daddy longlegs Isaac Asimov Ghosts and UFO's Double glazing Kitchen Unit Baby bleach potato washing up liquid Fruit machine Toffee apple bonfire Hedgehog Death Death Death Death Death 500 burned billywitches motorcyle speedway 500 dead bugs Spray can painted Around the back lawn Painted them orange And they turned black death death death death death |
Well I haven't read all these, but I will. The first few are very good, I would like to sit and talk to you you sometime. Thanks for sharing your writings
|
Listen to the sound
of a dead man breathing Very quietly It only happens When you turn off the lights He gets closer His eyes are red And if he touches my hand With his skeleton bones It'll be a fist, or a throat You know what I mean? His eyes are red The colour of Hades The colour of an incredible scream of rage and Hate and anger That fills the whole the world With its viciousness I will roar I will bite your neck Im not talking about Some stylized Dracula **** There is a dead girl Who's been here, oh I dont... 45 years? Her brother pushed her tricycle In front of a sand truck By accident They had to scrape the remains Off the road with a shovel She lived in this house Dont know if she slept in this room Or not There is an adder There is a dead goldfish There is an old battered metal filing cabinet Filled with bank statements And porn You were my girlfriend For 75 days or so Then you left me Well, I can see why And I dont say so To seem like I do Or make you feel sorry I do actually understand It wasnt anything I said it would be You could cope with the obvious stuff It was the unsaid words Inside of me No, I never knew what to say SO most of the time I just talk bull**** instead I cant even find Any natural sense of poetry Now you are gone You still call me all the time Every other week Same thing Big difference Right? What do you want? I told you once So I told you a thousand times I am not religiously Or ethnically Jewish Just because my father was I ****ing hate him Anyway Ive killed him in a lot of dreams Sometimes he just dies And I find another life Another me You didnt cure me of that huh? if youre so ****ing clever You didnt cure me of that Yeah, I understand Why you thought it was best This way I might repress these little things But I see the sky And I see thd dirt Everything between Is just gravity or Evaporation Right? I had ten friends five watched the sixth Stab me in the back with a phillips head Screwdriver two I never really liked anyway the other two, who knows one of them might be ok I think, anyway Ive got a bottle of vodka Ive got two bottles of Vanilla coke Do you see what Im doing Here? I had a girlfriend I had others before her They were all good people In their own ways Some more, some less They all were ok And I did my best They could have done worse I could have done better We never connected In a way that the scattering winds of fate could not pull apart Angela, You were the first girl I ever saw naked We grew apart By middle school So dont go around Telling people Im superficial Cos I didnt reply to some anonymous Valetimes card You sent me when you were 15 We were not together 3 years already I dumped you I dont reemmeber why So maybe you dumped me I'll take the blame If it makes you happy BUt it was a long time before You hit 300 lbs Becky I had this crazy thing For at least 2 years And I never even spoke to you It was all the way I was in Mr Lawson's class And the first year With Mr Bevan Its really ****ed up I have no idea who you are That you took 2 years of my Attention I cant even guess What colour hair you had Jo, oh, you were to clever for me But I was not so stupid That I couldnt see When you took the piss School ties for bondage In the woods behind the football pitch It will always be One of my fondest memories I heard you were a doctor check out my website In case you didnt hear I am a frustrated revolutionary I am a wannabe intellectual Im not quite smart enough But I know how to pretend Emma, Emma B Everyone used to call you On account of the fact There were so many girls With your name in our year The less said the better About those few months I heard that you had a steady girlfriend now All I can say Is that it wasnt as sexy As people would think That you were a lesbian Gemma, yeah, that was never going to work I introduced you to a guy Who sold you drugs I never told you at the time But the way you styled your hair Was really ****ing stupid You know what I mean? Manda First love I guess, all that sort of thing My Jewish princess I guess I never felt like you did My world was an imitation I never felt so bad Never was so strong Never was so indifferent Everything I act like You were the archetype And you really are a pretty girl We'd still be together If I had had my way You know And so when I was sat cold eyed And lonely Staring at a screen A pint of vodka and coke A sad sad poem You cried your eyes out So, when I read my poems out To that red haired girl You were telling your counseller That you really didnt care What the difference was Between a butterfly and Satan So, so, so, what? All those spikey haired creeps You gravitate around I could beat the **** out of any of them Dont believe me? Try me Seriously You know? Leila, last time we spoke Was when you failed all your exams You used to talk About your modelling work I have to say I acted more Impressed than I was convinced You refused to so much Let me undo the top three buttons Of your blouse You used to write poems And they were even worse than mine I say this with some certainty And thats saying something Mary, now in my university You were the best You could be I did my best too It was the wrong time for both of us You will always have a place in my life Cos I will never ever get tired Of telling the story Of how you dumped me On valentines day By text message At half time of my soccer game hehe Rebecca, Im not saying this Unaware of the irony But if you lost a little weight I think you would have been happier I remember when I met your dad He kept buying me beers He was a nice guy I hope he is keeping well Louise Ok, this is tenous We only went on one date And we never even kissed Plus I turned up for dinner Completely pissed I just wanted you to know Your a good girl An excellent soccer player I have a photo Of you and Matty Parker In an album somewhere He was the only Orient fan That I've ever met Stefanie... Well, now Onto tender ground You liked to spell your name Stephanie instead The first spelling Says a lot About me, not you, I think Too much to say, too close, too distant If I had been stronger No way would have I let you go I dont think you wanted me too You were the second one I was really serious about 2 years, and then another year Or the best part of it Is not something you do likely I cherish the fact That Daryl Sutch Tried to pull you Ok, Im joking I really loved you I mean it, really loved you I understand There was something incompatible In a way we were too alike But I'll always be there When you call Katie, you were good fun And you gave me free booze Your number one with me You and your crazy ex And me If I was a more reckless man I'd have beaten him up for you Or else got my head kicked in Either way Would have worked for you I guess Jenny, my latest squeeze The disappointment I feel Is the most fresh But in the way Cuts shallow Against my well calloused wrists I think we were Just at different stages Of our lives If we had collided 2 years earlier or a year later It really would have stood a chance I dont know Who do I think I am Anyway Alanis Morrisette? Ive got half a bottle of vodka Ive got a bottle of coke Ive got a begtable knife Ive got sleek black telephone Ive got a signed photograph Of Christina Ricci Ive got a dead sister Ive got a alcoholic mum, am abusive dad And two screw up's Who adopted me Ive got a sister Who got dumped by her boyfriend I know this woman Who is dating my mum Who is getting her into drugs Ive got a baseball bat Ive got a bad temper I will walk the block From the Chinese Takeaway Round to the Baptist church Up to the Bank at the lights Down to the double roundabout Anyone I see When I walk my squared Circle I'll ask them free questions If their gentiles I'll give them three whacks With my big heavy bat Right in the knee caps Then I'll pinch their mobile phone I'll carry my loot In a big linen sack And take it to a charity shop Bash the window in Steal all their paperback books Lug them all the way back home And sell them on Amazon I'll come to this board With varying degrees of success I'll name names I'll sing songs For the people who speak I'll quote the gospel of Jesus' twin When you know yourself You shall be known When you know yourselves You shall be known The people I talk for Are not anywhere Close, far away Purple elctric Carving knife, tedy bear Liquorice water, monkey nuts Dried apricots, weighing scales Blue chipped paint, coal bunker, frozen soccer ball Sister swing Sister slide Sister paddling pool Anderson shelter Top Trumps Rats and Daddy longlegs Isaac Asimov Ghosts and UFO's Double glazing Kitchen Unit Baby bleach potato washing up liquid Fruit machine Toffee apple bonfire Hedgehog Death Death Death Death Death 500 burned billywitches motorcyle speedway 500 dead bugs Spray can painted Around the back lawn Painted them orange And they turned black death death death death death |
I know a girl
who is shaped like a knife all sharp edges pointing outwards I'll hold her close to my heart embrace the blade It wont cut through me Any time soon I know a Jewish Princess who always wears the same style of A-Line skirt She takes me out sometimes She takes me out sometimes I have two hands That are shaped like a bat Heavy swing it right through the ghost of the man Who lived here 40 years ago I know a girl Who is shaped like a knife Elbows always pointng at right angles from her throat eyes the colour of chocolate each fingernail painted black she always wears the same style Of A-Line skirt I'm not complaining I hold her close to me She is always without I'll turn up the heating Till we're taking off clothes It doesnt mean anything It doesnt mean anything I know this guy Who sells stolen phones Nokia's, mostly I'll buy four of them and set them all up to ring each other again and again, like 4 blind men stuck in an eternal revolving door dont laugh at me I paid him in counterfit notes The phones stopped working In the second week I know a girl Who's shaped like a knife I'll kiss her wrists I'll kiss her neck I dont really know Where one goes from this The moment is all She exists in the present Impossible to place in the Past or the future Or any other place than where she is Eye's the colour of chocolate a tight pair of jeans An old scruffy red car A heart A knife A flag The world will turn As long as it seems THat it must keep going on My Jewish Princess My rusty tide My black wave I'm here again You can pull me out But you dont have to And Im not going to ask Or anuthing |
When I wake up
I want to break up I want to break up My hands are made of crumpled glass Wrapped around an ugly black wreath of tar The core beneath Is like heavy rotten wood I cant touch Anything Without it getting ****ed up My eyes are like dirty paint That does not relect the light But seems to absorb it instead I take heavy steps Down to a local place And I walk round and round And then come back again The eye of the sky Blazes down myopically Above me Bleaching everything With dirty sallow light From where you are You never go so far From where you came As you might wish I can close my eyes And see myself back At the old house, the Ugly red and white wallpaper Covered in hand prints and The pattern of shadow As a sudden gust of wind Catches an ugly curtain And the unclean light Dances unhappily against The smudged faded wallpaper A thump and a bump A nump and a thump Get in my face Really, I want you to Get right up in my face Grap my shirt and shake it and tear it I'll pick up a telephone, headset and all And smash it right into teh centre of your Face Yeah, that would be good Oh, that would be good Its good to talk You know Its good to talk I'll talk this green plastic sack Thats filled with beer cans And dump it on your car Cos I have always had a flare For irony Oh mother, oh mother My eyes are full of water I need something To tie around my face And keep it all in I'll wash my hands I'll clean off the tar I'll pick out th glass I'll chip away the strong rotten wood The shape of the log We used to sit down upon And eat supper together Sometimes Sometimes Oh, it was beautiful Those summers The motorcycle speedway Droning in the sweet evening air I loved the pollution And I'll break up the wood I'll take it to the back Of the last place I lived And burn it real quick Run off if the fire Gets out of hand And underneath is just this boy This poor fat boy I am everything That has ever happened to me There was not enough of myself To not become A sum of my disappointment I know a girl Who'd hair doesnt curl Oh, I know a girl I know a girl She has her own car She has her own star It exists Because3 she does She has her own car She lives under a star THat is very far away And you cant actually see But its there all right I've heard it whispering Sometimes Usually at night Out walking These street Far away from the woods Of my youth Out walking these streets I stay out of the way Of the odd wheeling drunk Of the odd joy rider Every house on every street Keeps its secrets from me Let's go to a bar Let's go to a bar No, dont drive We may as well Make a night of it And get propper mashed You dont have to work tomorrow DO you? Do you? Star, car, bar Bar, Star, Car Car, Car, Car I wish I could drive your car Just once Up to the cliff Where me and my father Used to eat fish and chips When I was a boy And when he was a man Before all the hate And everything The stars tonight Will crackle with the same untidy light Meaningless and tidy Enveloped in an everything Of darkness, coldness, nothing Once all the lights have gone out The space will remain Uncaring, unknowing Oh, it frightens me Thats why I hate their stars Im scared of their smallness, their tiny life span Their irrelevance I'll tidy up my face Rub away the scars If I walk from here to the First place I ever kissed a Girl I'd be there before dark If I set out right now If I start out right now I once wrote a book The main character Never appeared Her name was Aleshia Star Thats Star, not Starr oh oh So literal so self exposed I want to live I want to live And be happy and free And kiss the grass And kiss the grass Get it right in my teeth Get it right in my teeth |
The sky impodes
Upon itself I cant see, I cant see Turn off the lights Let darkness come Let darkness come These bones, these bones Rattle in a big linen sack Heave them into dirty prehistoric water With biting red things That come out of blankness With terrible limpid dark speed Turn off the lights, she is dead She is dead, and nothing Can come to any good no more She wore a white night gown And wondered the silver birch wood Where I grew up The night was wet and balmy Her skin was as white As her black hair was wet Oh, some kind of ghost some kind of ghost Still haunting me Here is the haunted the tree My father once showed you Made me jump, I came back later With an axe, and if you can walk I can walk An abomindation of nothing Hollows for eyes Dead tooth smile I stay out of the way, out of sight Crawling round these ways The old M.O.D. land Feel like Im rising Feel like Im rising And if you can walk, I can walk Ever since I was young I always liked the night The dsrkness keeps one safe, unseen I like to watch The lighted houses And wait for them to go to sleep Then dowse their house in petrol and flames Oh, hear them scream And fight to tear off their halo's It isnt my fault I wasnt born this way |
A mouthful of smoke
Erupting inside A halo of gunshots Leaves a beautiful little dark haired girl With the back of her head Blown out oh, it's so bad, it's so bad Oh, nevermind, oh nevermind Here is the spot Where daddy and mummy danced to a popular show tune the children all giggled Now they all rattle Skeletons, skeletons The sky is alive A riot of colour as Beautiful death dealing ribbons spiral down From heaven, blue eyed boy Flying away High five, high five Got a direct hit His daddy drunk hard Most of the time that he was growing up So he grew up hard Almost wanted something to believe in Here is a kitchen Here is a bedroom Here is a doll, melted by fire Here are the people 46 44 22 17 11 7 2 shots fired in the night sometimes find their way in oh, bury the little girl oh, bury her away they did this, you did this you did this, they did this God's soldiers What will you say on the day of judgment When everything is revealed? You carry on laughing now You carry on waving that flag now You carry on burning that flag now You werent laughing then Oh, you werent laughing then What will you do What will you say If you are ever held to account For the things you have done? |
just consolidating all my stuff ion this one thread:
They arent very good, actually, but her are some: 1, Valentines Day This is the day for love, for cupid, and gaudy wishes. Heart shaped candy, strange coincidence, lingering kisses. I'll be collapsed on our bed, head in my hands: My failure laid before me in obscene glory. And plans Are ruined before they've begun. And meanwhile, outside my room, two boys play basketball In the street. A blue car crawls passed, a woman's call Brings a lazy cat running, a cold North wind whips Up the street: a man stands with his hands on his hips Glaring at the scattered litter. Later, I go to the shop, buy bread, smile at a girl Who is just too young to matter: within the swirl Of self indulgent self reproach there's a life to make. I can pretend to do it for your or my sake. Because it’s all there is. Dead eyes surveying a world made of equal measures Of pain, fear and joy: sucker punched and hidden pleasures. Only four people know that I cry in my sleep: The hole in my life is fizzing, burning: how deep is it? It's sucked up years 2, T H E G I R L W H O C O U L D N ' T F L Y I Summer's dreams still born before they've even begun; Becky just wanted to be loved by everyone. Lurching through the hysteria of sleep each night She made the mistake that any of us might. Dancing alone in her room, to her own CD; How come she's a size eight and she's still so lonely? Choking sobs into her pillow; but no one sees Such apathetic pleading and apologies. Forcing down cheap vodka, reading about the stars, Lying flat on her stomach, listening to cars Speed past her window. How many cars till she knew She couldn't ever become somebody like you? II A wicked tide picking at her soul every day, She knew she needed help, but didn't know what to say. Even if we'd have seen how it would end, who would Have helped her mould her life into the shape it should Have been? Pressing herself against the rain streaked glass, her eyes Bleeding mascara; broken heart, desperate for lies. Living a death sentence: culture, remorse, fear. She Feels like the insides of a broken clock when the Rust sets in. Which sad songs, and sadder books, played in her head? It's so hard to take, that she wanted to be dead. She put on a new skirt and top before she went, And painted every finger nail a different Colour. III Her Dad found her empty room, her stuff was all there; Her tarty skirts and clever books; there was nowhere She could have gone. No friends or boys or anything. They didn't know what to do, or who they should ring. They told us in assembly, a week after we Already knew. Her teacher kept telling us she Felt so guilty, and that we'd miss Becky so much. Some of the girls cried anyway. No one talked much. Her parents moved away not very long after. Kids from our year made up ghost stories about her. Once, when they were drunk, they tried spelling out her name With a ouija board; but no reply ever came. IV Walking through wet grass in toeless shoes, she thought how The life she had wanted was in tatters, how No one could hold on to her - make her feel all right. The paper stained with tears, the note she left that night Said it all. When she stood there; praying for something to hold her back Gravity proved stronger, what should have held her back Abandoned her. In that dark, her eyes must have seen Such intense sadness, where a river should have been Instead. I sometimes cross her bridge. The water that took her Looks too bright, and I feel too little. They found her All messed up by fish, two miles further downstream. It's so sad to watch the beer cans dance in that clean Brittle water. V And I drank alcopops, and smoked with younger girls While the mess of hate and pain and missing out swirled Round and round her head. I write her name on my hand; But she's dead, how can I pretend to understand What she felt? 3, Untitled Silk blonde hair, perfect teeth and light blue eyes A mirror held up to late summer skies. That pretty face was not wasted on you, But why do you do the things you do? Why can't you be more like the girl of my dreams? You look like her. Sometimes it almost seems Obscene, that way that you can hurt yourself. Don't you cry? Don't you care about yourself? I do. Yet you are not the one to blame. Inverted, shared days all look the same: Small and silly, and deathly silent, Empty words and tacky - bright pink - intent, And smiling into burning heat. We fit In each other's eyes and say we like it. At 4AM I see you're not so great But daylight is coming and it wont wait For me to make my resolutions strong. I still love you, I can't help that it's wrong. You're so stupid and wasted, but I still care And still pretend that inside you is where All your hidden virtues are stored intact Ready to turn my illusions to fact: For me. If only I could be more worthy. If only... But I am me. You're you too. Perhaps there is nothing you can do Except take drugs and drink and screw up life While - strong, healthy - I'm dreaming you were my wife: And telling myself that you really are she, That imagined girl who really loves me. So you just drink and smoke and I will lie, And reality and love will pass us by. Love, twisted and stillborn, dwarves my sight And stains my mind with it's cold warped light. It tells me one day my dreams will come true, And superimposes my heart over you. Weeping at dawn is so sad and so ugly. If only you thought that you loved me. 4, Unfinished Remember, you remember: it took you two years To shut my big mouth and make me choke back tears. I can't stop now, thinking about the past: Stumbling drunk through the dim lit world that couldn't last. Fully dressed, laying on our stomachs on your Bed; the clean light of TV rippling on your door. Holding my hand without thinking. Calling my name Without looking up - life cannot now be the same. How to explain? When you pressed your weight against me, What did it feel like, arching your back lazily? For me, a haven from pain, deep in love, a place I could like myself, at last drop to my own pace. For you: a bored static void, where you throw away the day? Or the best thing you ever had? How can I say? But growing up so convinced that I was bad, How could I ever make you anything but sad? All I want now, is you submerged in the past: Stumbling drunk through the dim lit world that couldn't last, Cold eyed with regret, or at least very sad To have lost the very real protection you had. And if, when searching yourself, you still cannot see Any reason to stay, at least don't forget me. We finally cracked up one cold November. I don't know. How can I make you remember? 5, Star Girl (for Mandy Moore) When I was younger I would watch the stars sometimes With apprehension, I sensed their vast, sparse, timeless, Burning hid a great velocity. The night shines All the same, indifferent: I bet you weren’t afraid Of things you couldn’t understand. And there must have been much then, maybe there is now, That seems so strange, so unexpected: your picture In a magazine. The first time you saw it how Sure that girl looked. I could have said how beautiful: But you’ve heard that before. And now your picture’s in a thousand magazines, And you are still the same, that quiet certainty Even when you don’t know, are lost, or your life seems To be fizzing with haste and someone else’s Direction, you have that faith in yourself. Sometimes I listen to you sing, it makes me dream I was someone else, on firmer ground, less afraid Of things I don’t understand; in my mind I seem To see you smile, every word every note. I think That’s one of the reasons you made it. Plus the talent, the looks, the hype, and all that. Years of dedication, in front on the mirror With a hairbrush for a mic, a pen and pad that You scrawled a hundred songs you never get to sing On. I suppose people forget about that. A poem for a girl I’ll never meet, that she Might not even read, and wouldn’t like if she did. I can’t compare you to stars, I fear them still, the Difference is that you belong down here, but yet You shine like them in your way A quiet glow that touches everyone you know Just a little. Maybe it doesn’t seem that much Or maybe I make it more than it is, but it’s so Important to have hope in this life, I think you Made most people here catch some of that. When you were younger did you watch the stars sometimes With apprehension, did you have the same fear I Did, being lifted at terrible speed? It shines The same, indifferent, but I bet you weren’t afraid Of things that weren’t really there 8 Oct 2002 Adam Douglas She loved it when the snows fell It obliterated difference And made everyone feel cold all the same. She said the water in Mallorca Was just like any other style of water But it made her sick all the same Just like they said it would Hospitals made her feel strange and sad, Like they do everyone But the long field behind her house Really made her feel afraid She always wore her hemlines low, Whether in self-defence or self-reproach She never said And I never asked I never know what to say nowadays Or maybe I never did And only now do I realise. |
posted 01 December 2004 04:17 PM
Stand up tall Dizzee, Dizzee Blood rushs to my head Magnificent I open both hands My open palms face the wall And turn the windows red I know five people that hate me I know five people I know five people that hate me I know five people I turn the windows red I turn the windows black I knock the windoes in I stick the glass panes back Laying on my back late one night No longer alone, no longer alone Bounce out of bed Stand up tall, Stand up tall Dizzy, Dizzy Close my hands into angry little fists I'll knock knock knock on his door I got a pair of dusty heavy boots Stomping on the floorboards Of a younger girls school play Bang, Bang, Bang Clomp, Clomp, Clomp Bust through the door Waving a five iron Fore, Fore, Fore You wont front no more With a broken jaw And 10 Broken ribs And your teeth like a jigsaw All up on the floor You wont front no more My son, my brother, my only friend When your blood is on the floor With my bootprints on your door Five people in this world, they hate me Ugly dirty uncles Rotten little nephews I got a tyre iron That weighs just right in my hand I got a baseball bat With 8 grooves in the handle Strung round with black cord I got a clean five iron With a southpaw grip And I've got a knife And a length of dirty rope |
Mandy
You'll never know, you'll never know The words I write, the places that I've been to I'll never see, I'll never see The woman you started out to be A fragile dawn, this brittle sun Touches us both At different times Wiping the same kind of dreams From our clogged up eyes Headache like bad traffic You tip toed out of bed About the time I had my head in my hands Over something, over something I can't remember now You'll never know, you'll never know The shape of my hands when the sky is blue I'll never see, I'll never see Your moment of sudden clarity So, this much of it is the same It can be measured, reduced, qualified There's too much that's difference Too. I think that skirt is pretty And it really goes with those heels I think that your eyes are pretty And believe me man, it shows. And here is the space where God belongs I need it as much as you Even if we use different names You'll never know, you'll never know Words I write, seeds I sow I'll never see, I'll never see You take pictures of the old city I'll write you a song, I'll make it too long By a verse, maybe two Your smile is your currency And I use a pair of dusty old boots The same sunset leaves us both Slightly uninspired The stars glitter faintly with such great indifference To either of our lives All you can do in the world of mirrors Is your best, be your best You'll never know, you'll never know You'll never see, you'll never see Here is a book, here is a pen Here is a screen, here is a sign Clear crystal path, yellow brick road You follow him, I'm rooting for you all the way Just keep singing, just keep on singing Each word lights the way Somehow, somewhere... I feel its true Anyway. Applejack sky Blackberry shoes, liquorice water To drink every day before two I talk about my childhood more than you do Because I wasnt that happy I just wanted you to know I'm getting a lot better, you know, these days Lemonade rain storm, violent pink shirt A broken recorder, a off brown leather skirt I'll mend your recorder, I was always good With mechanical things I see your space Down a telephone line Between your face And the headline Is a good clean 3 inches It's important, I guess you know already But I would definitely advise you To take your umbrella with you When you walk in the park There's black snow falling upwards Round by the old swings and slide Where the older kids used to play ouija board Gravity has to take control Some time, some time. Hey, I saw a lot of things The last time I walked those ways There were christmas lights In a seven sided pattern Moving me from left to right A lot of the things Ive heard from you Ive taken to heart as well Oh, I know it was just a song But in a general way, I dont see why It cant mean something, anyway In this life of ours Hope is important You told me that, I always bore it mind However long it rained I'll never know, I'll never know I never see, I never see You were a girl, you were a woman You were an actress, you won many of our hearts. |
I slump this cold path every day
Wearing this gaudy coat Someone left at a church jumble sale And no one bought My life is like that cold village hall Black shoes squeaking Scattering this way and that, old music Sugary tea in mugs I kept every love poem I wrote you When I was seventeen In a tuppoware box underneath my bed Though unread, for a while. |
Thanks for posting your stuff.
|
"and though the rain keeps falling down
I know the sun, wont wash away...." I see my life through the mist of rain I weep for happiness, cherish the pain Because summer has gone, wont be back again For a long time, grey days, months, years I am less than I said, more than I portrayed I left the party because you stayed I left the party, I wish I'd stayed But all you would tell me was that you'd prayed The hole in my life, is festering, burning Consumes the dreams that wont stop returning From my nightmares, I cant help learning The way things are, the way they always were I stand up tall as I can, sticking around Everything, all experiences, exists above ground I talk to myself for the sake of creating sound I kiss the chains with which I am bound Pretty star, purple wolf, seaside hurracaine I'll hide in a beach hut from the mist of rain Pretty girl, fragile eyes, eclectic wrists, a dream Neither you, or I, am what I made it seem Neither I, not you, am how I made it seem Pretty girl, backward wrists, pony tail, a dream I am alone, I drink alone, because I am alone Pretty song, sad song, listen on my own Pretty song, sad song, you listen on your own I presented as epiphany what was always known I presented it as genius, oh, so overblown I go back to my bedsit, and I drink alone Pretty star, pony tail, red plastic hair tie Can you tell the differences between truth and lie? I'll protect you, from whatever you hate in life I have a baseball bat and I have a knife I may be clumsy, I understand, I may be slow But I'll swing swing swing a heavy blow I'll knock all of your demons down, they will Shut up and cease and leave you alone for all time Because I'll tell them to I need you, I need you |
Sing: late summer afternoon, soft golden window break
Rhyme: the world's irretrievably ****ed up forever. Hum: nothing that you ever do will really make sense. Cry: sallow dead light rippling against faded wallpaper THIS IS WHERE YOU LIVE Listen to me carefully All my life I have been convinced that I am right I have never loved anyone more than I love myself I am scared of turning my back on an empty room. Since I was eight years old I wished I was someone else Close your eyes and remember Sat in a neutral room staring at the dead gas fire While she nervoously told you you took milk and no sugar A dust blanket of silence falling over the room Her spastic hand knocking the empty cup to the floor You didnt get up The day you told your mother that you never never loved her Paid her back for ten years of making you want to cry Your eyes are so blank and she chokes on her tears and slides Out of the room. Nobody ever knew how to really make you care You spent your whole life pondering what the right reaction is THIS doesnt make you happy Hidden, rolled into a fetus ball, in the silver wood Trees overhang your body as you slowly rise And stare at the dirty unnatural silence in dumb wonder Unable to tell what this place should make you feel Elemental May fly dusk, so poised with potential Pouncing, tearing, running, screaming - all out of reach The streets might not be safe, but the dark here is scary I hate the way the world is, so **** all of you We met when we were both 16 and I spent 2 years of my life Trying to make her happy, and even in that I failed When she started crying the last time I thought she would tear apart Such was the hysteria of her hot Wednesday tears I left the room dry eyed but with a thumping headache And a re-broken heart SING: the only way to clean the ****ing worthless junk from our of your life is to trash the whole ****ing thing. SING: You are a worthless parasite, used up. NOTHING. No one will ever understand whats going on in your head Sing: I ****ing hate this SING: I ****ING HATE YOU SING: I ****ING HATE YOU S I N G : I F U C K I N G H A T E Y O U |
Somehow I was always different to them
There's something special locked inside of me Hidden by the tears and method angst of youth Was some kind of half baked capacity That no one else has Somehow she's alone in a busy room A life that she just cannot understand A destiny that no one else could see In the slashed love lines of her cut up hand, Her painted nails His false smile and fake tears never could find A way to unlock the doors he wanted. This way of life, black eyed beaten up child Who listens to mirrors and feels afrronted Isnt that easy Pretty face, fragile eyes, the way she sat alone At her own birthday party and NO ONE Noticed. Inside her room she doesnt care She never saw a path in the long run She's such a cliche Doomed from the start, you really have to ask Just how it was that they could ever see Any future together, with all that They were, let alone an eternity To match the mad, mad stars |
Alone in his room, pen and pad
Old school book, chewed biro, so sad Unsung and lonely, his words fall Where they can do no good at all Painful and pointless, words that share Feelings and losses she doesnt care About. Outdated, out of tune Surely he'll run out of words soon |
Stupid
Waste of Molecules Scattered Around An Idea A shape No one See's Anti matter And a Sticky black Soul My favoruite tears Pained embrace I'll walk back here Hand In Hand A million times To the same beginning A million times Shimmering grey circles Against a darker background Mother Father Sister Brother Rotten decay Marrow and filth Sea weed for hair Fire eyes A throat Made of whispering Willows Half rotten eaten by maggots Crawling with wood lice Scream and flick your fingers Jingle girlishly I've been short changed Most my life |
This ugly alarm clock scares me awake
While it's still dark, dreams that linger Slowly retreat, close my eyes again, take A long sad breath, and roll out of bed... 26 today yesterday tomorrow probably I limp over the broken coat hangers Pull on some Hebrew language shirt I hated my father so much, many years But the irony I dress in doesnt hurt dreaming of car chases and dead girls Beautiful day, beautiful day, we spent it Together, or some of it at least, you looked Put out when I shrugged my shoulders, is it My fault that you dont like any of the music on the radio love song John Peel grave song Flowers for the dead, for the living, Mcdonald's Breakfast. Jesus, mayo on my tie, silly smile Silly laugh, your hand my thigh, a moment Catch it, talk about something else for a while It passes Self despriciating Nod, silly laugh, silly kiss, dead relatives and dry eyes Pick me up about four, ok, ok. see you later See you later. Wave a little, then shrug Turn away and slump inside the world doesnt stop Compare my left side to your right side, guess it measures up. Pony tail Tiger teeth I'm not A qualified accountant Heavy drink, hurts my arm, kiss me right here In the joint between my forearm and my elbow Music too loud, make smy heart hollow, the fear Creeps in and out, I dont like it so much here The two of us, this strange symetry your girl girl laugh, some epiphany Jesus man, stare at my hands, the palms Are full of lines, some ****ing epiphany. |
Fuck me, there's a lot of stuff there. Generally...good. I like
'The two of us, this strange symetry your girl girl laugh, some epiphany Jesus man, stare at my hands, the palms Are full of lines, some ****ing epiphany.' especially. Nice and vitriolic, how i like it. |
thanks man, I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read it!
|
this is quite personal
The Haunting Wet leaves whisper in the wind They all speak your name In the half dark this ugly moon gives It could be your blood or mine That's covering these hands The sharp bark of a mobile phone Infilitrates the night Cuts off again, my eyes scan the ground I grib my house keys Around my fist and grit my teeth Lately I've felt underawed Lately I've felt like Ive been ignored Oh mother, the smell of sweat And talcum powder, you used to play guitar Did I ever rell you You were never any good I really want to tell you You were never any ****ing good. Playing your silly hippy songs Silly drunken cow, go down Another bottle of fizzy white wine Youre no ****ing use to me now I never loved you, on the day that you die I will cry and feel guilty Thats all I can offer you. My salvation, my blue tinted rope Hangs from the rack in the garage roof at the bungalow on Bell Lane I'll make two nooses And wrap each around a fist And sneak up behind you On a cold lonely country lane one night And spin and bite and twist What goes around Always falls to the ground One day Im bigger than you than these days And stronger than I was My anger I internalised It could break without a ripple Or I could just walk right past you And not give a **** I dont really need any letters Saying how sorry you are I dont give a **** anymore What you did to me you cant make better And what you have taken You cant give back if you want to make yourself feel better You can do it on your own I told you that The same day you told me You would forget you had a son And burn all the pictures Because you hated me Well, you still carry around this picture Of me aged seven, smiling At a boating lake So I guess you were lying And Im not all burned after all But what do I care anymore? I told you when you said it Dont ever change your mind Because when you say what you say It is said, and there is nothing anymore Im not so cold But cold enough You wont see anything but ice I came back once And left again The best that happened in my life Was you cutting me out of your life The opart of me that haunts you Is not attached anymore Its that stumbling, uncertain 14 year old boy If you meet him on a dark night He might lash out or most likely run It doesnt mean anything It doesnt mean anything to me I hate a lot of things Its not special anymore |
You said you'd always be there for me
But you're nowhere, really, you're nowhere The sky is black, with a shade of orange Street lights shine, and cars that sing They're all singing the blues these days The ground is solid, it pushes back I sidestep *** packets and beer bottles On my way home from work today. I sing a song, I sing it on my own I sing in perfect numbers, down the telephone Father, brother, mother, sister, daughter, son No one here tonight, I kiss electronically But the radar makes no connection in my sonic boom I shrug to myself, paint flowers in my room This minature football reminds me of you I'll make a toast, with burnt bread and beer Do you my dear, on my birthday, to you. You said you'd always be there for me When I needed someone, when I was all alone But I was calling out your name last, man And you were nowhere... just nowhere I was spelling out your name last night, girl And you were nowhere... really... nowhere. |
My first real attempt at a happy and positive poem!!!!!
I dont think its any better, but at least its less depressing! Tree's Crooked arms scratching skywards, at night the sky Is like a hole, and the earth beneath like a bolt The frightening wind whips in from the north, and the leaves Shake and whisper their ghost stories in a broken wet voice I lock my windows and I lock my doors, but I still here The alphabet you spell, youre just as near To me as when I was seventeen, though farther away Then when I was only 8, and you stood at the boundry Of my world and the other, infested with death crows And hungry for the rumble of motorcycle speedway And morning will come, pale and bright with its vision I'll walk the same path that was covered with snow Not ten months ago, your voice may change tone As the cold wind recedes, and the stories are different In summer, you dont speak of ghosts anymore But of childhood, what is lost, and what is gone And what can be recovered, what remains I'll walk hand in hand, with my only true love Through a maze of staggeting green, and the smell of hot grass Will run inbetween and about us, I'll hold your hand On the cold days as well, these silent dark giants They never sleep, even when the ghosts rush about them The summer will return, a sense of timelessness Stillness, and what was undead, will walk and breathe again And I wont let go Believe me, my darling, my heart I wont let you go. I've got your back I'm on your side. In this multi coloured world When we all must grow older, when all childhood's torment Love is our audicity, our electricity, a candle That shimmers in the greatest hurracaine. |
wow, they are truly heavy, yet they dance so freely. thank you.
|
g h o s t
she lives at the bottom of a dark dark wood in a dark dark house that has windows like monster eyes and a mouth shaped like a front door the road winds unused, an old farm track a quarter mile from her house. boared up since she died, back in 1985. when i was 15 some older boys broke into the house with an oiuja board and some whiskey they made it spell out the name of this girl and then all the candles blew out and she screamed last night i was sleep walking through the shadows of my mind i was back at the old house, dreaming that i died i dreamt i found my mother's corpse propped up in bed, her mouth full of blood i am almost 27 years old. a coffee mug of vodka and orange squash doesnt ease my mind at all, no better than this cheap Czech beer. last night i dreamed of a girl I've never met she changed the pillow cases on my bed and when my father hit me, she pulled him away. my ghost, running through these walls when my back is turned. I could smash this bottle right into the plasterboard and feel the glass grind and slice my hand it works the same for everyone, you just have to live with yourself the woods ran behind my house, and to the left at the end of the lane, at the crossroads two ways went to tree's, silver birch mostly. its not that hard to find a little hollow, to back up against out of the wind its not that hard to find a bottle of something to back up and keep against the wind. unseen whispers in the night remind me of an older ghost, an abandoned house maybe one day i'll go prise off the wooden shield and bring my own ouija board, if you think you can scare me, big deal. i'm already afraid i feel it in my chest, big deal, big deal. between here and there is only a couple of miles i could walk it now, although it may be dark by the time i get there. my childhood still haunts the man i have become, i dont doubt i'll change one day, or die before i do. the emptiness in this space between me and the bedroom door is intolerable but it doesnt burn, it freezes and im cold, and im sick sick of feeling cold |
cripple teeth, apple worm, sandpit burn, knife
football wall, motor roar, searchlight death, life spotlight sweep, death headlight sweep, ghost Ive lost my teeth, Ive lost my breath My wall is covered with photographs of the dead, nightmares pull me Back and forth, I'd better face this On my own, I'd better face you When we are alone. You've been dead Nine years now. This is a message And when you receive it, you'll Know that its for you. |
I've been crying on the inside
Just lately, more than before The tears I dont weep Dont mean anything, it's just Street sadness, hemming me in. I'll bake my own birthday cake This year And the number of candles I plant in it Will be fictious. I'll make my own birthday wish this year On a shooting star On a speeding car On an iron bar Which I hug in my sleep. |
I'll wrap myself
In a wreath of tears I'll drink away Another day, there's nothing Inside of me that feels I see demons and angels In my dreams, a smoky bar And a damp side street That runs behind the old church Is no kind of place to die It's no kind of place to die Tonight. |
The Neon Sunrise, the little Puppy who Could Not
a thousand suns, a thousand stars arms like mother earth, and the face of Mars If all the colour is drained from the world I will see in shades of grey Rather than black and white If there is anything to see at all And If there is anyone to see it. a thousands suns, a thousand stars A shower curtain sticky with acid rain Wrapped around a dead girl in the street Lying inbetween an old street scene Of blown up cars, and carpet glass Someone must bare witness, but who will ever hear The story they record, the words that they record. A thousand stars, a thousands suns Came raining down, one mild Tuesday afternoon A terrible, terrific, agony scream A fire that was white with anger cleansed the path All the way from the old All Saints Church up to the railway bridge. Dont know How things go, further out. |
Light, the colour of death, a life
Resolved. You always come back To the place you started, when They tell the story, afterwards And what is not of this world Will never be, and what is of this world Will be once again. To dirt, To ashes, I'll say goodbye As the aura retreats inwards in waves Once again. Shudder, bite, I hear Something screaming in my left ear And I leave the ground I cant tell What is dream, and what is real Anymore. |
Twisting left, and left again
The air is heavier than me It seems. I keep staring at walls And they all face the wrong way These hands werent built for punching Anyway, anyway Write your number across my knuckles Maybe its just the way the moment Shatters and stutters Under a disco light And a heavy repeating beat But you might be the most beautiful woman That I have ever known. Fragments, burn together, Jesus Where are you, at this precise Moment in time? Everywhere Or somewhere - how big are your hands? Could they cradle this earth Or do they stretch just as far As the railway shed. Maybe its haunted There. I walked you through the carpark And down by the river there You can see all the old flour mills They'll get knocked into flats One of these days. Just let me kiss you One time, on the cheek And one time on the teeth Just let me take two lengths Of this dark green cord and make you two bracelets To wear on your left wrist. I wish I knew you, years ago I wish we went to school The same place. |
This poem is not about somebody on this board
Three lines on this paper, drawn on this page All point away from me, My heart is cased in broken mirror pieces Metaphorically Your hand is not the same size as man And when I drive my car I shift into third gear Mastefully, and my knuckles Brush the side of your thigh I draw my picture, on the same piece of paper And I only use straight lines And I only use three And they all point away from me. I best leave it folded in the glove compartment Of your car Instead The ghost of a witch, haunted the road That ran behind my old house But Im not that scared Most of the time Maybe when I die The sky will be white And maybe this world Will be here forever The same themes trouble me A lot of the time Childhood and hauntings, scary old witch Eyes that are on fire, hands that are claws That will tear and tear and screech and howl I am not afraid Most of the time, I know in myself That I will probably never be like My mother has ended up, there's something In all of us that holds Some kind of balance And Ive never really felt The same as she did, when the world crumpled I was just sliding through these streets Sliding through this room Drinking too much, and vaguely unhappy Ive seen happy summer days When the sun was like an embrace And all of my toy cars Are lined up in three lines And they all point away from me. There's this girl that I know I see her around, every other week She hates her boyfriend, and she told me so Sometimes she cries And sometimes she sits on her knee's And she told she hates him And she told me she loves him I dont believe in love these days It isnt really ideal, but what can one do But follow the path that you find Keep your eyes to the ground The sky is too open and frightening Anyway. Anyway. Anyway |
Title - Corpse Song: Flowers and Girls
A strange light shone from the ground It was blue and black and green You are not the person you made it seem You are not the person you made it seem A strange lights plays frighteningly against A dirty old wall, chipped into the ugly brick Chris 4 Jane. East Boyz 98, all that sort of thing Jane, where have you gone, where have you gone Does the light shine for you tonight Tomorrow, today, some day? And does it shine black, or does it shine blue? You get carried away sometimes, these stairs Are covered in beer cans and spoons Decemeber 13th The day will be cold And riddled with wind and glass cut vision What path leads from this place To your pastoral childhood And your Gamekeeper God I know your daughter I knew your son And I am not the only one Someone else cut these flowers But I am the one Who brought them all the way here. Adam Douglas 17 March 2005 |
Switch of the wire
I choose my life In 1989, I chose my life Warp up the wire Around both hands Around my feet I'm lying on a railway track Where no trains have passed Since 1989 Owls and mice scream In the dark, an industrial estate Muscles into the landscape To my left Im crying lemonade My face is hot and sticky I never moved An inch from here. |
walk with me a way
wallpaper flowers, love embrace lemonade and liquorice shoelace my face is feeling hot tonight we walked a way under stationary stars and the flashing air planes to wear the streets dont shine even in the traditional rain that wasnt falling that night a dust track running by an old weat field to the left and a pine tree wood at the back the old hospital shimmers invisably in the distance behind the radar tower we laid on her backs head to head, feet pointing in opposite directions i told you about some dreams of mine and you listened i told you about some dreams of mine well they still havent come true and I am not quite the same person I was a few years ago we drank cheap fizzy white wine that tasted slightly of vinegar and you rolled onto your side and i touched the skin on your arm and spelled out your name with my hand without really thinking I never want to make you cry and if there is anything in the world that hurts you, I can make it go away I have not become a stronger man but I know my way around these ways Ive got dust in my hair and dust on my sweatshirt you had on this shade of green eyeshadow that I have never really forgotton even today. |
A rain of empty cans
The sky is reflective I kiss the patch of skin Behind your knees And I sing this song About my youth, and summer Tree's and tractor tyres Daisy's and buttercups A rain of broken books Shattered the windows of a car I listened to the alarm Singing in the night A song of roses and wine And a failed relationship And an empty room I have dust blankets |
instead of a soul
(missing last line of previous poem) The wind and the sun Rattle the sky, storms of light My bright eyes, my cold heart I'm everything you said Im everything you said I was I'll never be a strong man My arms can swell, my Fists can paint like flowers Growing against an gritty old brick wall And the smell of summer And cut grass, the sound of motors And bonfires Listening to pop songs On cheap car stereo's Is our pornography I keep writing things in on my arms And they keep rubbing off Our Father Our father... You look adorable When you wear your hear in pigtails |
this is a powerful and very articulate collection. I'll have to come back a few times because I need intervals of digestion to appreciate what I read here. Thanks for the posts.
|
Sunday afternoon
Window pane, air glides Like slow humming planes A life like the end of summer A face like cut grass Laid out in the sun to bake Face down in a fishpond Stones and bullets in both of my hands I was only dreaming That things would ever be Any different It was only a dream of life Of what it might have been If I hadnt died that day |
everything strikes me
as somehow ironic when you're around I keep seeing myself As somehow iconic When you hold my hand I want to kiss your wrists One after the other And I never cried, anyway This love thing Thing called love Its like being close And not thinking of it The sky today struck me With a new beauty, the sun These clouds shaped like rabbit ears For your sake, all of this Came into being, or so I'd say If I knew the words To make it right, and so I'd sing If I had the words To make it stand out. This thing, this love Your shoulder on my chest As we sleep, oh Jesus I want to stay I place my heart in your hand In the glove compartment Of your tidy red car I want to read magazines And laugh out loud with you The shape of your hair, the touch Of your hand, makes me shiver Makes me want to cry Sometimes This love, this heart I've lost sometimes And I've been hurt Enough times now I just want to be happy I just want you Beside me, holding you Late summer afternoon The sun in your hair As if you were an angel As if I was really gonna live This time. |
stars explode
everywhere I can see And we are all made Of dust and we all turn to dust Eventually, sooner than this clock will stop Probably The voice of god Is inside my head I strain and I cannot hear Correctly All of the time The question is Simply Where the deficiency lies To die, to vanish, to never have been Or something else Well, the fear that comes in waves Wont change the answer Anyway |
nothing, spoken, nothing gained
pciture of God, I hold in my heart and in my brain I dont know anything Reading ghost stories by candlelight on Christmas eve. sometimes my phone rings and I just dont answer I hate being alone, like this I need someone closer to me Than all of this, and all of this if I had to choose Between a girl who doesnt know who Trotsky was And some overweight medeival reviliast type Its not much of a choice Its not much of a choice at all |
this is
the actual space in which i live in which I never baked a cake for anyone this is the actual face with which I kissed ass and told lies when I was nineteen this is the actual taste of missing out, of a life that feels restricted coiled in on itself and minor panic never really startles all of the birds that eat the crops in the farmers field |
He lives in a room
All on his own He writes out poems Nobody reads, nobody gets She doesnt cry Anymore, she doesnt Wear that shirt he bought Ever, but she hasnt thrown it out All he ever needed was a sense of perspective All the love he feels is undirected Oh mother, oh mother, I cant explain Just what you've done to me She never knows how to answer the phone It could be anything the wars I wage, the wars I wage Mean NOTHING to her Just an ideal Every black eye I've ever took Healed up long ago There's lots of things I cant get right But I'll fight If you try to kill me tonight I wish I could dye my eyes all white And I wish I could be there tonight SO if you start crying I could kiss away your tears I wont be crying But I wanted to And I wanted to Flicking through these photographs The sun in your hair That smile, your hand Unthinkingly finding mine The old field behind the estate And another Your hand on my chest Golden hair Your hand in my hand A unthinking kiss Unblinking eyes, staring into me The ringtone of your phone Jesus There is only so much Of this I can take Without dying. |
I know you only want me to cry
I know you only want me to be compromised I know you come at me with friendship And mock me behind my back You keep saying I'm so fragile You hold your face against mine at this angle That makes you so pretty, dirty little hate machine I'm not afraid And I've got more levels That you have idea's You call me and hang up the phone And I am always not alone I am always not alone You say you'll pray for me, some days Pray for yourself, I recomend You dont know everything That you think you do SO plastic and so fragile I see your face and it could shatter anytime In the reflection of a mirror If the light hits you At the right angle It goes all the way through. |
... ... ...
Just tell me what to say That will make you stay At least for the night, I'm begging you If I could find the words I'd say them until I couldnt talk Ever again If I cant look at you I know my eyes will never see This world in the same way as they did Everywhere I've been, I've been there with you Today, yesterday... and my childhood even is defined by you.. by you being there By you not being there, and looking back What kind of future can I have If you are nothing? If I am nothing? I'm not saying I wont be here But I know my world will be somehow, irretrievably blanker Duller, more filled with empty space, And all this street sadness Listen, just tell me the words Just let me try one more time I can be whatever you want If I set my mind to it But perhaps I'll never be What you want anyway. I keep almost crying As I walk round my flat Everything here reminds me of you You're somewhere else Out of my sphere Looking beautiful Hair pulled back, that strappy green top Bump your elbow on the corner of the wall.... Oh you silly thing Jesus Its breaking my heart I think Im dying I think I need a sense of God Otherwise, there's nothing for me at all. Listen< I know I can come across a little melodramatic But my hearts in the right place I used to make you laugh And tell me, that day at the old farm With the scrumpty cider... dont tell me that didnt mean something? Love is hard to pin down But maybe just mayeb we were meant for each other In a strange way I always made you laugh You always made me feel safe So, maybe I never knew you anyway And maybe you never saw inside me I still write fake suicide notes in my dreamed So if youre so clever I guess Im still ****ed up Perhaps youre not so ****ing clever Cos Im all ****ed up But Im not going anywhere If I can help it at least I guess this is the end I guess I'll cry my tears Until Im all dry, until I'm all empty Except I feel so empty now And Im not done crying |
spinning bottle points to my true love
so drink it down, drink it down Ouija boards and candle light But there's no ghosts here that I'm afraid of Cheap wine and the hum of a lazy fat plane Creeping across the night We lie on our backs, head to head, by the old radar station I have photographs of you And your bedroom, my testimony Youre still beautiful, and I'm still lonely And on my own these days, I hope You found your own place, and that things worked out The way that you wanted Tree's stretch up to the sky like dying men In winter, but in summer its beautiful still The sky threatens and looms Pretty, Pacific and blue I wont cry any whiskey tears Over a girl like you Anyway All summer the air was full of radio lawnmowers and motor bikes And nobody loved me today And nobody loved me yesterday And I dont love anyone at all. |
A vale of tears, the colour of amber
It means hesitation To you or me A veil of fears, I hide my eyes They're not windows to my soul Becauce I havent got one. I loved you in the old church hall I loved you on the dirt track That ran between the drift And the hardware store, backed against A row of dirty lockups Full of stolen goods Or something I wore an LA Raiders jacket With a bottle of sheery in each arm The time is not suspended But I am suspended Within. Hurts the insteps of my feet To walk on the red and black I am everything you never said I never touched you Were it counted My love, my love, my love Sun like worn out glasspaper Friendly and warm, the embrace Leaves no marks anymore Im not so dramatic To hurt myself If nobody can see Push down my baseball cap I follow the younger gods And know the Elder, in my head All roads the same All roads the same For you and you and me and you Kiss kick punch football face never never never Again |
Under a heavy sun, under a million stars
That dont mean a thing, your smile is the same And its probably just some love song I have stuck in my head Anyway, but you look so beautiful The sky must be somebody's delight Somebody's warning - I had this feeling A time ago, I missed a beat Let me hold your hand, Let me kiss your hair I would never ever let the things That have happened to me happen to you. I find a place, so unspecific I cant find the right words I cant find the right place to hold on to you with You were always lucky at cards Ive been unlucky in love Through no fault of yours I'll admit This empriness This dirty void Grimy light, like a 60 watt bulb Reflected in the rain And I remember the exact pattern of the wallpaper The last time I got a thumping I am not So ironic as I make myself I am not So iconic at all |
Viper eyes, dirty skies
Full of red, the're bleeding A hot dusty yellow expanse The road to the side of me Where Jesus Christ walked Two thousand years ago But night is falling And I cant see. The last thing I will ever touch In this world, for there is none other Is a hoary old date palm Its kiss is like rain Withheld, night, understood The noises withing Echo without When it all comes to little pieces Tarmac and red brick, old tyre, cut up Concrete and sticky weed When I was a child I played here And I will never ever ever ever Be a child again |
Bitter snake twist, hide my eyes
I cannot see the world outside I am not what I made myself seem I walk the line, I walk inbetween On a balmy day, early July The world didnt clinch, my life didnt change My heart didnt skip, my head Is just a case made up of skin With a mass of nervous impulses inside You wore your hair up, and a top made of straps And buckles You were beautiful And I didnt cry Its been a few years since I was so affected I suppose you'll always say This must be what makes me okay I suppose this is why you say I might as well stop If stop means stay If stop means stay Short sausages fingers Fumbling with buttons And buckles Is true romance If you kiss kiss kiss The crease at the back of my knee |
empty wall
poster boy hung up the wrong way round she has a phone that can sing ten different songs and she feels ugly And she cries alone |
Gospel means good news
I'll take a line of vodka And a mouth of vanilla And I'll say my prayers While I'm trying not to scream God see's everything Gospel means good news And 2000 years People cringe before your painted icon To inspire both fear and love Glass stained the colour of blood Dirty old church, cold cold old stone Hanuted by ghosts A big silver horse, a dead gypsy girl And a dog that howls at the moon That I cant see. It's not like the wind, so much It is more like the dark Everywhere, the part that is not seen. Gospel means good news If you are first you might be the last and what is not of this world Is the words unspoken Leather and fire, metal teeth That tear, those puritan kisses Your gamekeeper God How big is your face? As big as the sun Or just As big as the moon Or the distance between My house and the river People find their way To hollow places The echo substantiates Somehow I pull the next thing to me closer And I wont cry, just yet. |
Silver clouds
rain like kisses empty and nasty make me feel cold little pretty hate machines little microbes that wreck like buildings old chinese skateboard children singing and breaking flash photography and mobile phones I walk the same ways that one hundred men have done I walk the same ways and feel angry and pastoral weeds at my feet wont trip me over At least for today The river is dirty The river is pretty Feels like love Feels like your hand When you reach for my hand Without really thinking Just what it means |
wicker wall, drinking cup
my darling, is this enough is this enough this place I stand, these white walls wont fall down any time soon. I write songs That I cant sing It takes me back to the place I gew up. I feel that we know each other Well enough that you at least owe me some honesty, so What do you want? These white walls, this TV That sits on the floor, this Sleeping bag and These golf clubs stacked Like enemy soliders by my Solitary bed. Is this what you want? We've been a long time Figuring this out I have computer hands I tread on rubber balls Whichever way I turn. |
I was writing this when my internet connection crashed, and it put me off so I didnt finish it....
The faces of angels and angles Everyday I walk the same way, and When I prey, I clench my hands In a certain way, and the sky above me Could be empty for all that I know There's people that live round my way That talk in different voices And my conscience is clean, whatever you say I never did anything That I cannot find myself apart Throughout, and to overcome Sometimes you have to crawl right underneath As low as the belly of the snake With dirt in your eyes And grass stains on your face I've got scratches all over my back And I dont feel well, sometimes I wish there was someone else Who's shoulder I could cry upon You can tie me to your armchair And slap my face and make me dance With your electric stick You could pull out all my finger nails I dont deny, but you'll never Have my sense of perspective Dear Father, not yet in heaven Nor hell, nor any other place But the occupation of the space You swallowed 50 or so years ago I wrote this for you just to let you know I really do hate you, and I never forgave Im not the type, whether you think You deserve this or that, all you'll get from me Is the same sullen resentment and Craven dislike. Im a lot stronger than I was In former times, there are certain things I would not recomend that you say In my presence But what do I care, and what do I know and if you are broken, and I am broken And if you cried, many times I wanted to I dont really like it When you call me "buddy" and "pal" Cos we're not friends and we never have been and we never will be, and I never want to See you, actually, ever again. My childhood, clutches me now, Im 27 And I wont let go of the memory The space, the geography, the grass The dew, the pond, winter frozen Cracking the ice with a cricket stump And the grass and the sandpit and being alone And rotting apple trees and bamboo canes All in line Pretty like soliders Marching stationary to a silent battle drum Ive never been a fighter myself Although my hand feel heavy right now The things I remember, goldfish, and Montana And Idaho, and a pale faced man with a thick Moustache, and places I never see I used to count cars And vans and trucks and bikes and girls 30 years before I was born A girl was killed outside the very same house Although I admit, i dont know if she slept In my room. I feel drawn to bodies of water Like I do to the night, when its quiet And the unearthly hum of the unseen Rumbles in the foreground of my mind I seek desolation in some sense, I think Something in the empty space Finds an answer deep inside of me I keep writing the same poem About this world, about this girl I met last weekend at this bar Her fingers were not markedly elongated And her accent was one I could place Somewhere round these ways Her hair wasnt made of silver I dont understand I dont understand I dont understand |
A rain of empty cans
The sky is reflective I kiss the patch of skin Behind your knees And I sing this song About my youth, and summer Tree's and tractor tyres Daisy's and buttercups A rain of broken books Shattered the windows of a car I listened to the alarm Singing in the night A song of roses and wine And a failed relationship And an empty room I have dust blankets covering up my soul |
walk with me a way
wallpaper flowers, love embrace lemonade and liquorice shoelace my face is feeling hot tonight we walked a way under stationary stars and the flashing air planes to wear the streets dont shine even in the traditional rain that wasnt falling that night a dust track running by an old weat field to the left and a pine tree wood at the back the old hospital shimmers invisably in the distance behind the radar tower we laid on her backs head to head, feet pointing in opposite directions i told you about some dreams of mine and you listened i told you about some dreams of mine well they still havent come true and I am not quite the same person I was a few years ago we drank cheap fizzy white wine that tasted slightly of vinegar and you rolled onto your side and i touched the skin on your arm and spelled out your name with my hand without really thinking I never want to make you cry and if there is anything in the world that hurts you, I can make it go away I have not become a stronger man but I know my way around these ways Ive got dust in my hair and dust on my sweatshirt you had on this shade of green eyeshadow that I have never really forgotton even today. |
A
I walked 70 steps, and 70 back To kiss the air, inbetween the place that you stood waiting, and the place where You should have been instead. Wearing green and red braids Tied up in your hair, match The scars inside my eyes, but no one see's The weather indoors, until the day The storm breaks once for all. When I was a child, I would see it raining In my bedroom, like static fear I knew where the devil lived, the space The colour of his eyes All red like hate, like a wolf bite of a growl Stuck in the back of all the hate Rumbling forwards, teeth that bite I dont know if I could run fast enough But since I got bigger, things Become more specific I know the space between your hairline And your eyes, like the back of my hand And I can measure myself there For whats it worth, and I cant dance No more. Maybe I never could There are things I see, things I saw Things I never see anymore |
I really like your wrtitings. This last one is pretty cool. Thanks for sharing them.
|
thanks man, I think thats makes 5 people now that have read any of this and felt it generated some kind of response!
When I was younger I use to write in verse and stuff, of very simple designs, but when I started writing things again around a year or so ago, I just write the words down literally as I think of them. Artistically I dont suppose its much good, but I think it is emotionally authentic at least. |
I don't know if your writing shows up anywhere else, SF, but it is a powerful addition to what I read here at TFP. I find the images very clear, very moving, powerful and quite thought provoking. Please keep sharing.
|
Window's graze, my face against the wind,
Little cuts that you cant see; Together they make up the whole of me. Violin's sing a birthday song For someone else, always someone else. And I walk these streets after dusk, Head slumped to one side, and every house They are all dying, sometime, on their own. Petals kiss the air, insects crawling Everywhere, laid down and baked in the sun Like dead grass. When I was younger I said and saw many things, that No one else did; I can't complete A story any time - look, the concrete Blocks, the laural hedge, the frozen water, Tears kissing wet sand, snakes that bite The air between my fingers There must be reasons that even today My happiness rests upon such tender balances The sky when grey looks more mature, more suited To memory. And a moment of love That wasn't really anything Two bottles of port at the side Of the old radar station and dirt In your hair What can it mean? What could it mean? And if it doesn't mean nothing Then what does it mean? |
War of the worlds, face painted girls
On New Years Eve While rockets crash Somewhere else, somebody must be crying Somewhere else. My vision twists and bites Like an origami shark This way and that, and if my face is distorted Underneath it is the same. I walked home late one night My left hand was open, empty, clenching air My face cold with icy damp I heard a crashing in the middle distance Like an ocean, like an artillery gun My heart is beating Today, Yesterday, Every day So far. |
nothing but great stuff. just really liked reading them tonight.
|
XXXII
Winter's breath, like my heart, is cold and fragile; A reconstruction, The wind bites at an angle Opposite to my face as I keep my eyes to the ground. Dirty light bleaching the concrete, littered here and there With weeds, it reminds me of the wallpaper in the place I grew up, the air vibrates with the possibility of harm And then rushes up all at once, like a fist to a face. These moments feel like memories, a different place A different child. Stood on a short well, trying to see over A taller one, looking back I can't see who I was. And then, looking upwards, with my home school haircut And my arms covered in grass stains, what did I see? I can't feel connected anymore, and it fills me with such sadness Like a cold winter wind, like an unreturned called Like the crack of a bat against a piece of ground Burned up and helpless, I really dont know I really dont know |
270309
My heavy eyes burn a circle from here to there From me and you, to the car park blues My black and blue eyes hide no secrets Except the punches that I have taken Walking all the way from your house To the riverbed, with its broken shopping carts It's empty bottles, its timeless dreams of misery and loss. I sit on the flood wall, which is not old and has no stories Smoking a cigarette, cradling a tin of warm beer The wires between us are not broken But somehow I dont have the energy anymore To listen to you laugh and not mean it, to Listen to you spell your own name and mine One after the other, and one at a time. I walk under streetlights, nearly all the time On broken rails, and gravel paths, and this Driveway unlined by poplar tree's. I write your name On my arm, like a big red horse, its a joke That you didnt get, a joke when the punchline Is me. I've grown old, smoking these cigarette's Staring at the nasty water, growing frigid in the spring cold. My tired grey eyes scan from left to right I guess they always move that way. I remember everytime I held your hand, I remember That scarf you always used to wear, even When it wasnt cold, even when you didnt care. Even when love was not just a word, but Was not the other thing as well. My black eyes never seem to heal, too many fights And too many songs I never learned to sing. I never broke my fingers in the door like you And I still can't play violin. I never rode a bike Like you, isnt that a funny thing. I never Wrote a single word, in my entire life, that Meant a thing when it is compared To the shape of your shoulder Lying on my bed, watching some stupid TV show. |
Thanks for posting this, SF. You are a true Wordsmyth.
|
280309
A mist came ringing in from the sea While I watched from the snooker club Taking whisky while the fat man drank warm beer There's no monsters hidden behind the blanket No ghosts climbing out of the futile, endless sea Just a couple of middle aged men not athcing Any fish. A car came drifting down the drive, the headlights Catching the side of my bedroom wall Every moment between then and now has felt Exactly the same, and every second is gone And can never be recovered. Peeling off hand knitted gloves, Swinging a bamboo cane, walking along the low brick wall Watching the ravens and the tall poplars that reach out On my left A hand full of damp earth, a slap in the face Tears bitten back, a fist clenched inside, a broken clock The path between here and the railway track, the Old golf course, there are so many ways to say That I feel more and more alone, that my childhood is lost, Cannot be recovered, was burned away like an unwatched Candle, and now I am a man. Its always about a girl Its always about me. |
110709
A wild yet formed right handed swing, a roundhouse kiss A shock of brown hair dancing in the overcast light My heavy steps, lurching to the left, too quickly For me to keep up. An airplane overhead. An overcooked plate of meat and vegtables, a second kiss Planted thoughtlessly against a naked throat A can of beer, a silent engine, ticking over in my head I could throw it straight through this window and laugh out loud Just as easily as I could sink into this comfortable chair Feel your weight move besides me, into me, against me: watching the latest death toll on TV A glass of orange juice, chilled by my failing fridge A broken alarm clock, that wakes me up every day A third kiss, on your shoulder, you always close your eyes And smile. You always close your eyes and smile. I hold you close to me. One day I will die, and so, Logically, will you. |
Quote:
---------- Post added at 01:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:05 PM ---------- I really enjoyed reading them, I still have more to go. |
01-08-2009
An ugly tree formed the centre of the picture, warped, blighted Old but without dignity. Beneath its unattractive branches I walked hand in hand with her, passed the stupid river, Passed the unused rail track, passed the clever wall. It seems so unexpected to me that I should fall like this For someone who has never seen a ghost; Who has never needed to be rescued from the old factory, By a wild eyed, heavy handed, overweight young man. A good natured swan floats on past, an Amy Winehouse track drifts from an unseen stereo: and in my mind I record the moment, perfectly. But I cant describe how it feels. I see you smile, I notice how in summer the sun lightens Your hair, and darkens your skin. And I just have a stupid Red horse angrily drawn upon my left arm. I still sleep with a tyre iron by the bed to protect me from ghosts But I wont hold hurl empty threats at the weakling god of this ugly river, Tarnished with empty tins of beer and failed warehouses and The long dead and lost, anymore. Crouched down by the flood wall Later on at night, I whisper urgently a prayer, and I dont Know if anyone can hear me, but I do it all the same It sounds so stupid to say, but its true, I m in love her. And later again, I'm in a still unfamiliar flat, drinking coffee, staring At the lines of my hand, trying to see some epiphany in The pudgy grey skin and invisible scars that might tell my destiny |
24-10-09
The rain came in from the east, in the early afternoon The murderer sat staring at the wall, inside a bare and ugly kitchen The blood long washed from his hands, his back turned to the room, His wife and son hiding in the other room, but not admitting That they were Later, a whole history inbetween, the son cowered by the sea front In the deep at night, hearing the call of the angry waves, trying to talk Himself into walking all the way in. But he did not. Seems a silly thing now, to walk into the black without return Over some fat secretary, with a crooked bubble perm The grandson I know well, for it is myself, and I think To myself it must be the same time of year, but I cannot tell for sure, That I sit here, drinking sour wine, finding clumsy words That express a feeling deep inside that I cannot articulate The rain still comes in from the east, the sea still beats the stones On the cold wind broken beach, not many miles from here. I paint my hands in red, but it cannot feel the same, I step outside Slightly drunk in the early afternoon, uncertainly, I find my way To the flood wall, smoke a cigarette. I stare at the water, timeless, stupid, Lazy, and I throw my cigarette in, half smoked. Back inside, I sit At the kitchen table, my back to the empty room, my Phone turned off, my old grey stereo turned all the way up, Distorting old jazz tunes. I imagine a ghost, summoned by the river, walking straight inside He see's my hunched up shoulders, he see's my piles of my books A butterfly knife, never used, stting on the shelf. He see's a photograph Of my girlfriend, smiling, standing beside another man, pinned up on the wall Beside a poster he doesnt recognise, a Carravaggio. He sees a pile of litter Spilling out of a supermarket plastic bag besides my left foot, a Pornographic magazine, a half dead carton of cigarette's, a long dead Bottle of wine. He coughs, a nasty caustic sound, and the rain comes down harder as if in sympathy. And the fat unfriendly figure at the desk Does not turn around, although the hunch of his shoulder deepens And his left hand flexes once or twice, in a gesture of melancholy. The bad old ghost has long faded away when I stand at last, take a glass of whiskey, smoke another cigarette - stare out the window At the grey rain battered river with eyes I imagine, falsely, Give nothing away. |
- Loved reading your poetry many thanks for sharing...
|
| All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:01 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project