Story of things to come (scifi/political) Critiques welcome

[pan6467]

Please read this story and just thnk o what is being said. It's
basically the outline of a book I am going to write, and would love to
hear from you any ideas or opinions of it.......
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The Story of Things to Come................ by Philip Andrew Norris
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They arrived in ships and offered peace. They said they had been
observing us for quite sometime and finally saw that this maybe the time
they would be accepted. They were a race who had left thier world many
years ago after war and greed had destroyed it. They had seen many
planets and mingled with many races, learned many things that they
wished to freeely exchange with us.

I remember watching as the world leaders met them and how the
conferences were televised and recieved by everyone with such love,
peace and happiness to know we were not alone in the universe. We held
parades and there truly seemed to be a brotherhood of man wanting so
desperately to share and learn and grow with our new found friends.

I remember the impassioned speech thier leader gave to the world. He
said that of all the societies they had ever visited that the people on
Earth were the most curious for we knew hate but showed compassion. That
we knew anger but showed understanding. We were a most curious planet.

Then all hell broke loose as the questions came fastly and furiously
from media and leaders and ordinary people from every corner of the
world.

Yes, they knew the cures to our diseases. Yes, they knew how to live a
life where all were truly equal. Yes, they had an energy source that was
everlasting and was extremely clean and harmed nothing. No, they are not
the most advanced and yes more races were to come and visit.

First, we said we have too many doctors and nurses and hospitals and Big
Insurance companies that depends upon disease.... so we thanked them but
declined thier cures.

Then our leaders said there are way to many that make livings off oil
and that we cannot just find a new source we would have to slowly
integrate.

Finally, our leaders proclaimed this race Godless that only MAN is in
the image of God. The churches of the world proclaimed these peaceful
travellers messengers of Satan.

So we went to war..... it wasn't much of one for they did not put up
much fight. They retreated to the stars and left us here. And a world
that just weeks ago had banded and became a brotherhood, went back to
living in greed and envy.

Yes, the HMO companies won and we still have diseaseand forever will.
Yes, the oil companies won, for they were still able to control us all
as we would forever be dependant on their energy supplies. And religion
proved that we were truly masters of the universe as "we had defeated
the first of many evil messengers."

And then something weird hapened, something glorious and totally
unexpected. The people who had forever had lived in fear of those in
power revolted and demanded we invite the travellers back and share
knowledge with them.

Our leaders so greedy though and in such a fright of losing the card
haouses they had built to the winds f coming change.... chose for our
planet the coward's way out. And instead of letting the people decide
the future of our world....... well the radios and tv news say the bombs
shall leave the world lifeless for 1,000 years. So that is how this
world is to end, not an asteroid, or over one country hating another,
but of our leaders.... of those who had the power to help us all, chos
suicide and genocide rather than to give the power up.........

[omid]

typos aside, some interesting ideas in there.

[pan6467]

I am the typo king. thanks for the encouragement.

[vonstalhein]

Seems slightly unbelievable. And fairly futile. But i'd like to see where you were planning on taking it.