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-   -   Hound's bad poetry - be nice ;) (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-literature/44369-hounds-bad-poetry-nice.html)

losthellhound 02-04-2004 03:10 PM

Hound's bad poetry - be nice ;)
 
As a general rule I don't write poetry. Although I think of myself as slightly poetic, its more in the cynical-the-world-is-slated way, not in the I-can-write-the-stuff way. Anyone who has read my stuff knows Im a prose person. Sentances are good, iambic pentameter is something I think I missed in school while reading a copy of Erehwon instead of paying attention..

BUT, as I continue in my quest to write, I have to put things down when they are inspired. Recently I was so inspired.. Its not even poetry, but it is more poetic then what I usually write..

PICTURE
-----------

I sit and examine the life in her posture, the color of her eyes. The line of her jaw, the glint of her spirit. I imagine a thousand brush strokes required for even the slightest aspect of her. Her's is beauty fought over for ages, imagined, and dreamed of. In this moment a muse is born, and forever now she shall hide in the back of my mind. Coaxing, urging, and reminding me the gift of Galatea, when this picture breathes life..

losthellhound 02-07-2004 03:30 PM

And again..... more like poetry this time...

No title

A Mercurial spirit frozen in time,
..All Cheshire and fire

Leading all to trembling hearts,
..All satin and ice

A sexual spirit beckoning on,
..All dreams and desire

An ethereal soul calling out,
.. All shadows and echo

taliendo 02-13-2004 11:10 AM

I thought that both were really well done. The first paragraph is something that I refer to as poetic prose, I like to write in that style quite a lot. The second piece is a damn good short poem -- don't underestimate yourself and thanks for sharing!

losthellhound 02-13-2004 11:19 AM

wow I didnt think anyone was actually reading this (its been silent for awhile) ;)

I found a good muse so Im finding more to write

ForgottenKnight 02-14-2004 10:55 PM

I like these ones as well. Well done!

losthellhound 02-15-2004 07:54 AM

thank you, both of you.

losthellhound 02-27-2004 12:49 AM

.one word.

Darkness, so splitting
Silence, so deafening
I turned too quickly
I blinked
Now it’s gone
That star that guided, that angel that spoke
But one word
Like ash upon my lips I am left
With one word

pinklily 02-27-2004 04:01 PM

i like it. i think it's pretty. it feels alive.

Angel 02-28-2004 11:46 AM

You do not give yourself enough credit.
So allow me... These were all written well and pulled emotion out of the reader. You painted a picture with your words and for me, that is a critical part of poetry.
Good job. ;)
Thanks for sharing.

losthellhound 02-28-2004 12:08 PM

Thank you very much Angel. You're right.. I dont ;)

Ioxus 03-02-2004 11:44 AM

you are talented,keep up the good work.

losthellhound 03-03-2004 03:58 PM

back to non poetry

I broke my stride there for a moment. Stepping over a blackness so deep and terrible that my pulse lept as I crossed it. My eyes watered as the fire and smoke licked at my heels. But in my head I could hear the angels' chorus beckoning me forward. I walked across the abyss with the faith that my paradise would lay on the other side. But as I stopped and glances over my shoulder the chorus became cacaphony and the angels fell to dust. There is no paradise, no angels, no music. My heart stopped and my soul sank deeper. I broke my stride there, never to mend it again.

losthellhound 03-22-2004 10:30 AM

I can still feel it, taste it, see it. The rush of feelings long silent. An angel's song. I became a blur, a speeding blinding light traversing the distance with ease. Then, I failed, I looked down, I looked back. The distance expanded, the darkness enveloped me. I sit in silence, cursing the tragedy, Orpheus' legacy.. Gone.

vonstalhein 03-23-2004 01:10 PM

I don't know what Orpheus' Legacy is/was but the thought of losing it has almost made me cry. Maybe itsthe flu...but the poem was quite good too!

losthellhound 03-23-2004 01:20 PM

Orpheus is a character in Greek Myth. To tell the story in brief:

Orpheus was a musician, who played so well that nature stopped to listen. His one true love died, and he started playing so mournfully that the world wept.. The gods persuaded Hades and Thanatos to let his love go free on one condition.. He had to walk all the way from the Underworld without looking back, he had to trust that she would be right behind him. Just as he got to the exit he looked back to see her standing there, but since he looked back, Hermes had to take her back..

I have always associated Orpheus with looking back, stopping because you dont trust your luck and losing everything because of it

ariekitten 03-23-2004 11:29 PM

oh wow....first of all that's damn good stuff you write, but second of all, hearing about orpheus almost made me cry.....how sad. definitely looking forward to more of your stuff. :) thanks for sharing.

losthellhound 03-24-2004 09:36 AM

Thanks Arie ;)


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