Twilight for Men
 

The joke is simple: hot lesbian vampires. You may have seen the image floating around the internet of two hot, naked, lesbian vampires making out with the demotivational comment "Twilight for Boys" or "Twilight for Men". Hardy har har, of course, but it got me thinking: what if someone decided to make a version of the romantic vampire genre geared more towards male audiences instead of female tweens?

I went back over the past few years and found a couple of movies that were made more for teen and adult males that made a decent amount of money and got good reviews: Inception, Iron Man 2, The Hangover, Star Trek, and The Dark Knight. I'm not saying women don't enjoy these films, of course, but superheroes, science fiction, and low-brow humor are usually considered "guy movies".

So let's take from Twilight what might be key components:
Vampires
Werewolves
A war or other conflict between vampires and werewolves
A romantic interest between a vampire and a human

What might be missing that could be considered guy movie components:
Science, or speculative science
Humor, particularly that of the Todd Philips movies
Complex story
Compelling villain
Explosions

Stuff that should probably be omitted:
Stalking/obsession
Teen girls being shallowly melancholy and even suicidal
Cuddling
Whatever the fuck is going on here

Okay, TFP, it's a silly assignment, but what do you think would make for a guy-oriented version of Twilight?

Make the Twilight series appeal to men?

Done. :thumbsup:

In all seriousness, I think it would take actually reading the books to be able to give an informed opinion; something I'm not going to do. One problem is that I've actually read other books written for teenage girls. For the most part they were pretty terrible, not that the writing itself was bad(though it often was) but the perspective is totally unappealing to me and for the most part the authors write male characters to be exactly the way teenage girls think men are.

The other problem is the 'mainstreaming' of certain fantasy genres that were exclusively read by us nerdy kids 15 years ago. I'm not willing to take the chance on something like twilight out of my near certainty that it will ruin an entire genre for me. Same reason I haven't read any of the Harry Potter series.

Honestly I would watch it if they just made a twilight/blade crossover.

http://www.celebjihad.com/celeb-jiha...ipse_blade.jpg

cuz you know that shit is about to get good.

Add some sexy girls in skimpy skin tight cloths as vampires. Megan Fox, as one of them.

I have no idea what the hell is going on with this series or the movies but that's an awesomely awkward pic. Can't stop laughing.

That is the moment the vampire realizes that someone else wants his Cheerios... er his girlfriend cause she smells awfully tasty.

Cheerios? I love Cheerios.

Yeah, you can forget about the lesbian vampires, they're probably just whiny when they're not busy sucking face. Cheerios are always good.

Want. On DVD. Thanks for the reminder, Baraka.

Have you seen 30 Days of Night yet?

Be a good setup for this "Twilight for Men" thing.

Underworld, perhaps?


Will Kate Beckinsale do?