Sci-fi flash fiction
 

Captain Zero

“I suppose it's time to replace that,” the Captain said finally.

The First Mate nearly swallowed his tongue.

Pointing to a twisted metal heap that still had a faint glow to it, the Captain gave the order: “Engineering, replace the engine.”

“They're all dead, sir,” the First Mate announced.

“All dead?” The Captain raised an eyebrow, turning with a confused look.

The First Mate nodded slowly, not bothering to make eye contact.

“What about the science crew?”

“They were ejaculated out of pod EP-112”

“All of them?”

“There were only two.”

“Oh, I see.” The Captain spoke again after a long pause: “We should have hired more.”

The First Mate nodded again.

“Do you know where we are?”

“No,” the First Mate admitted, “the Navigator was decapitated, remember?”

“Oh, yes! Heh. How could I have forgotten?” He scratched his head.

“It was only yesterday.”

“I know, but a lot has happened since then.”

“Yes, quite a bit.” The First Mate glanced around the landscape.

“We're lost, aren't we?” the Captain asked him.

“Quite.”

“Where are the maps?”

“You said not to bring them.”

“I did?”

“Yes, you said, 'Maps? We have computers. Why do we need maps? We never use them.'”

“Well, that didn't mean not to bring them, per se....”

“But it was implied.”

“Why, yes, I suppose so.” The Captain glanced around the landscape and drew in a deep breath of the cold air.

“A blue planet,” the First Mate explained.

“Well, yes, I certainly hope so; we didn't bring any spacesuits!”

Oh the wonders of management...

I really enjoyed it. Thank you!