A letter to my God
 

i almost did not post this. it is personal, but i rather face redicle than know i may have turned down a chance to help a friend.


Jesus, my God.

Your presence touches me and fuck what people believe. You are so very real.

I love you so much. You are my hero, a man of peace; something I’ll never be. I am such a violent man, JC. Am I evil?

Some nights I just wonder. What is my problem? Why are my thoughts so violent, cut and dry?

Jesus, my mentor, my friend, my God. My soul mate. I wish to see you here on earth, there are so many sad people. It crushes my heart to see these people act the way they do. Nazis, militant religious nitwits, people who kill and rape for thrills. I feel sorry for these misguided fools and I hope they get a chance to see their actions and what they do once… a chance of redemption. People do sick shit, Lord, but everyone has a root. I do not want to see even the most vile creature be tormented and kept from your embrace.

I feel so bad for demons sometimes, Lord. If it makes me a heretic, then let it be so. They did the wrong thing. . . for all I know, only once.

Could you imagine revolting once and being forever damned? I doubt it. I feel for them. I mean, hell, give me the word and the vision and I’ll kill them. But everything has a root, Lord. Everything.

Am I a good person? I try hard and think, I hope and pray, that I do a good job.

Most of my “brothers in Christ” have disowned me, shunned me and worse. But its okay. I don’t mind, really.

Sometimes I think ‘end them’, when seeing people who are so vile, empty, gone, lost hope. I hope my nature is just because I believe a lot of people on this planet need to cease. Maybe I think too easily of examples; it just seems like a ‘Look what we do to rapers” exhibit would do some good and possibly detour future rapists. I know it’ll never end, but a slow down is better than nothing.

As always I am tired. You know I am pretty jaded about this… shell.. right? I love you but I’d be wonderful to slap you, or at least the Father, once. I will never deny you, never revolt unless it is all a lie. But I hope to hear some answers.

Come to me, fill me, give me peace of mind. Come to my brothers and sisters. Come.

Forever your devout servant and tool, -Lynn.

All I can say is thank you for posting this.

Agreed.

Intense but without hate and hectoring...the way a religion should be practiced.
Good words my friend.

I wish all xians were like you. :cool:

I can tell that letter was from the heart, and that means a lot. Thank you again.

thankie

I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one that thinks like you. That was really great.

very good words...and i see a lot of my thoughts in there. As for those who call you a "heritic"...I for one am proud to call you a brother in Christ-you have no idea how it touches me to see your courage in posting your doubts and faith.

I personally have a hard time with the hell passages as well...but i find comfort in the fact that God's grace has outrun my rebellion. I don't know how others will be reconciled, but i have a tremendous hope that they will, regardless of what "Christians" have to say about it. Thank you once more for your words...

wowzers. i'm glad its got the responses it has. it has made the decision to post it here worth it.

Nice post Z, thanks.

dude... you speak what would be most awesome as a minister. I Don't know how they'd like "fuck" and "shit", but beyond that.. holy hell dude... the way you wrote that letter... you do have a gift in this.

You have become a true friend, and brother in Christ with me, and I must admit.. I'm still stunned by this letter. The way you show your love, hatred, excitement and fears... and most of all, how I can just hear you saying it and keeping everyone's attention.

Gak is amazed.

Oh as for those who are "condemned"... God reaches out to them.. they just have to fight the devil's grasp and find that little peice of light forever embedded in their mind, in their spirit. Its a tough hunt.. which is why we just have to be there for them.

Much Praise, Z...
--- Gak

thanks.. i feel a storm coming, gak... i really do.

and there are some very burned out dehydrated souls...