smiling for strangers
 

figured, maybe, i would drop back by, and write for a bit...

my jack daniels, on the rocks, a recent substitute for jack and coke. it just seems to be a bit more efficiant in solving problems than sweetening desire and loathing for the all too great of expectations on nights like these.

i've got to wonder if maybe... maybe i'm one of those kind of guys that just doesn't get it. if it's all a game, i don't know the rules, don't know what to say, can't make ends meet, won't end up happy, more than likely hurt in the end. all too easy to fall for something that means absolutely nothing.

i suppose that maybe it's easier to believe that every other temporary romance was built on some kind of meaningless, spontaneous attraction. that there's no significance to smiling as you kiss someone for the first time, train stops and random doorways, five minutes till your moment of madness, and leaving them will always be all too unbearable. and all we could ever hope to know of feeling something for someone else will only ever be, at the very best, a far off thought, too difficult to completely remember, and too easy to forget about all-together.

walk them home, put them in a cab, watch them leave, forget regret, say goodbye, and eventually bitter yourself to the realization that nothing is real, and anything that is, can slip through your fingers when you least expect it. don't love for today, don't feel for tomorrow, and in the future, remember the pain, as it is now, and will always be.

guess that's it... maybe tomorrow, will be a better day...

-wht

To attain such beauty from much pain.
Without risk we find no gain.

Should this be in tilted literature?

wasn't intended to be a literature piece, maybe just the way i write it...

Dude I mean I don't know, but maybe.........maybe like..............maybe you just kinda think too much, ya know? I mean it happens.

Too bad that you took it that way man. Instead of getting caught up in what did not come of it, enjoy what you experienced. Life is life, and if you decide to look at the parts of it you don't like, then you're right: you will never be happy, even content.

something about exposing one's vulnerabilities renders me this odd comfort. That must sound terrible, but I guess it's nice to know that I'm not the only one out there who might feel this way at times.

crow_daw: well... i definatly think too much, glad that much is obvious, dude. :)

it's never really been about not enjoying the experience, because they've always been amazing - letting go, is the hard part. i find it hard to believe it's not too unlike something any of the rest of us have dealt with, over and over - i just write it the way i feel it, full knowing that days and weeks later things will be different, and inevitably better.