Race issues
 

What is your opinion on innerracial ( don't know if thats one word or two) dating? Where I live (Montana), its sometimes frowned upon. Any advice/opinions would be awesome! :D

My opinion is that I don't care what color someone is, so I don't care if two differently colored people date. I don't find that color or physical appearance or racial background has any bearing on the worth of an individual person.

Doesn't worry me I judge people on how they treat me, not what they look like. We have many races in Australia , too many to worry about it. If you are attracted to someone the only thing that should stop you is if they are free to be attracted to you.

I remember the first time my sister brought home a black guy to the house, and how controversial that felt, judging by the reactions. My mom's very accepting of things like that, but I recall that it was the first time that I heard my grandmother voice her obviously racial viewpoints. I was like "god, how can my sweet little grandma be such a biggot".

I adore women regardless, and if she's a different race, then thats just nice spice. Then if someone gives me a hard time over it, I'll either laugh at them or beat their ass, depending on the situation.

My opinion is that the 'race' is a fabrication with no real biological underpinnings and the less notice people take of it the better...

So you could say I think interracial dating is plain old dating...

Objections to interracial dating are based on ignorance, pure and simple. Race is a purely arbitrary construct generated by fear of difference.

Since my wife is half Chinese/half German via her Jamaican/Chinese mother, and my daughter is 1/4 Chinese ancestry, and my sister in law is black, my other sister in law is East Indian, and my uncle is Jewish, I think you can all guess where I stand!

:)

But isn't there biological differences between caucasians and asian, for example? Facial features, skin tone, height...all biological.

Categorizing people isnt necessarily a bad thing, it's using this categorization to discriminate people in a negative way thats the problem.

i've done it...but only in places where it was already fairly common...so i won't pretend to be a pioneer.

it will be an issue...so be ready, up front to talk about it, and deal with it. know how public you're going to be, and in what settings....an SO and I would be seen holding hands at some malls and not others...just the way that we ended up dealing with some of the crap that came up.

being an interracial married couple I deal with it every so often in certain parts of town. It's not outright in my face but if I look at the right times I can catch Asian women looking scronfully at my wife as we hold hands walking down the street.

I've always dated white women and never wanted to be with any asian girls.

IMO who cares... they don't have to sleep with me.

How do I deal with it... I ignore them and whatever business they happen to be in, read my sig.

The comments that follow here in the south usually come after the couple has left the room. In other words, do it, if you don't care what people who are already damaged think of you. I think few people would actually be in your face about it.

Yes there is a biological difference, but its not sufficient to make two different races incompatible. It's like in dogs. A basset hound and a St. Bernard are very different looking dogs, but they're still the same species.

differential race views were invented by small minded idiots who wanted an excuse to elevate themselves.

I have no problem whatsoever with interracial dating. I do remember I had a roommate for about a month who, when we first moved in, asked "there seems to be a lot of interracial couples, is that not looked down upon here?". Probably one of the most bigoted people I've ever met, fortunately he was fired and now we have an awesome roommate. I'd say speaking a different native language is a larger barrier than what someone looks like.

I must emphatically disagree with these assessments...

As the late and great anthropologist Frank B. Livingston once wrote: "There are no races, there are only clines."

The point is twofold. First of all, there is no genetic difference between the races, it has been found in fact that a 'caucasian' can have more genetic commonality with a person with black skin than another person of their so called race. The cheif difference is phenotypic, that is how those genes are expressed...

Though phenotypic expression is to some measure a 'biological difference', the second point is that the racial categories have no real purchase in their division of humanity. For instance, there are people living in South Africa, such as Nelson Mandela who have less melanin in their skin than people living in southern Italy. Similarly, in places like East Timor, people have what are generally called 'asian' features, such as straight black hair, but also have very dark skin. In short, no matter which particular set of attributes you decide to label a 'race', there is nowhere to draw the line, no set of people who fit that label easily. If you go by skin colour, hair, eyes, bone structure or any combination of these, there are people on earth who will not fit into the categorisation.

As an anthropologist, I just have to say Rock On with yo bad self, Kostya. You beat me to it. :thumbsup:

I think most of you already know this, but my mom is Thai, dad was Icelandic, and they met as immigrants in America. My current boyfriend is Lebanese, so I guess I am keeping in line with the exogamous (marrying outside one's group) tradition in my family. :lol: So I don't give a rat's ass about who you're dating, as long as you love each other well.

We are all human beings, all originally from Africa, Olduvai Gorge to be exact (if you go by the oldest humanoid skeletons). Everything that came after that... race, ethnicity, etc... is all something that humans constructed to separate "us" from "them." Yes, there are minor biological differences, but ... see what Kostya wrote. Those differences were mostly likely only in response to environmental selection pressures, which we no longer really deal with in this day and age.

Well, that may be the case for some people (I've often heard people say they won't date someone who doesn't share the same native tongue), but for me, it don't mean a thing. I grew up as the only native English speaker in my entire family, so I have no problem dating someone whose English is his third (and VERY fluent) language. We speak five languages between the two of us... I love it. :D

Basically, my philosophy is that differences are what you make of 'em, not what other people make of 'em. You have to decide what's important to you, and stick to your guns. I like Cyn's sig: either you're an asshole, or you're not. :)

Note that in my post I never said genetic. I said biological. There is a difference.

And I really don't place much stock in genetics as a means to determine whether races are different or not. After all, there's only about a 4% or so difference between human DNA and chimpanzee DNA. It's only logical that there would be an insignificant difference even if there were one between races.

However, if there were no biological difference between races, then there would be no biological mechanism to continue the recognizeable features of the different races. This means that a caucasian couple would have just as good of a chance of giving birth to an asian baby as they would a caucasian baby. Since this clearly doesn't happen, there must be a biological component to the races.

However, as I pointed out, this doesn't matter at all. There is also a biological difference between green eyed and blue eyed people. But in the grand scheme of things it simply doesn't matter.

The only place race should be a factor is in medical treatment, since it's been shown that some races respond differently to certain treatments than others - this also, btw, points to the biological component of race.

You said you took exception with my post, but you failed entirely to address any of the points of my post. What exactly did you not like about it?

I'll leave the assessment part to others, I'm just doing a laymans observation here regarding the obvious differences in biological asthetic features between people of different races. Asians, hispanic, caucasians...all have distinquishing characterics in their looks which make them special. Where things go wrong is when people attempt to use racial discriminations to justify inequality.

I for one relish the differences between us, as it makes the human race more interesting in my eyes. Different is cool.

Kick over the melting pot!

The schools I grew up in had a very low percentage of non-caucasian students. It was very uncommon to see interracial couples and I have the feeling it was looked down upon. I was very shy and never dated anyone during those years, so I don't have any personal experience with it. As an adult, if 2 people love each other and are good to each other, I do not think it matters if they have physical differences. It is a shame what some couples have to go through when they are so deeply in love with each other. There are too many closed-minded people out there.

I've dated women of other races. If you find somebody you get along with, great, no matter what the color. The only issue is how much you care about what _other_ people think.

I did have some cultural issues with one ex-girlfriend of a different skin color. But you can get cultural issues of that magnitude without different-colored skin. It's just ethnic differences, but people put more (too much) emphasis on such differences when they belongs to someone with a different skin color.

variety is definitely the spice of life! I say enjoy your spice. Let people frown upon if they wish, don't let them subtract from your experience. Who cares what strangers think? You will never see them again.

The fact that people from Montana think this way does not surprise me a bit. I work with a lot of people from Montana and they look at me like I'm an ailen. Just becasue I don't look like them. Self centered bastards. They need to get their heads out of their asses and realize that different types of people also live in the world.

That's Montana talking right there. And that's your problem too. You need to stop catagorizing people period. He's race A, she's race B. It's all bullshit. Date whomever you want.

Except for the medical exception I mentioned above, I agree with you completely. We had a rip-roarin' fight going on in another thread about a colorblind society. Could have used you in there ;)

You cannot categorize everyone from Montana that way. I could say the same about Washington. You can run into people in every state that are going to be racist.

I am from Montana and I do not look at other races as if they are "aliens". I see no difference. We are all human beings so it should not matter one bit who you want to date. It is your choice. If you get along with someone and they treat you good and show you respect then what does the color of their skin matter?

You're right, one cannot label every person that way. But I'm right when I say that if you're from Montana and you have an open mind about other cultures, then you're in the minority.

There's no problem with interracial dating, it's when these couples have children that problems come up. The best an interracial child can hope for is that they resemble one of their parent's races enough to easily "pass" themselves off as one. Otherwise, they're screwed (and in many cases will still be screwed, but just not as much).

No, whats bullshit is covering your eyes to the spectrum of diversity which makes the human race interesting. Fuck the melting pot.

And yes, I date whomever I want. That she's originally from Thailand only adds interesting spice.

You can have a culturally diverse outlook on people without worrying about their race. If someone's from jamaica you can appreciate his culture without drawing conclusions about him just because he's black. There is a big difference between colorblind and cultural sterilization.

I actually find interracial dating a turn on. No, really.

I like it, there's so much more to learn about another person's culture. It's fascinating.

What?! Unless you are actually a product of interracial dating, I suggest you not post such things. My parents were a biracial couple, and I love being what I am. I have never felt "screwed" as a result.. I feel that my blending makes me more beautiful and unique, not some kind of half-breed. My SO is also from a different background (Arab), and if we have kids, you can bet that they won't be "screwed," either.

Why the hell would anyone want to be homogenous, now that's MY question!! :lol:

i know a good number of montanans, but none of them fit your description of the majority,

Grace and I never had a problem with the race thing when we were in California, and only occasionally with the lesbian thing. I think it's mostly that when faced with a homosexual couple, race becomes mostly a secondary concern.

When visiting Hawaii, we've encountered just the opposite, at least in Grace's village; her being gay doesn't seem to bother people, but that I'm white does bother a small number of them a lot.

Where we are now, in a suburb of a southern college town, we're still feeling out how much public affection might draw too much negative attention and where. I doubt the race thing will come up, as white/Asian doesn't seem to even be considered interracial here, and certainly nobody looks twice at the white guy / Asian girl (mostly Vietnamese and Korean here; back home it was mostly Chinese and Japanese) couples we see about. We're new here, though, so maybe I'm missing a bit.

Gilda

My mother is white, my father is black. I hope that's interracial enough for you. It has nothing to do with liking yourself, it has to do with people's immediate need to label others. Many people that are considered attractive are multi-racial, and many people find those of multiracial appearance to be quite attractive. But that doesn't lessen the fact that as someone of mixed heritage, you are forever an outsider. My skin is nowhere light enough to be identified as white, but my hair isn't kinky enough nor my skin dark enough to be able to pass for full black. And I know any child I father will more than likely have the same problems (especially since I tend to be most attracted to asian women).

Again, it's nothing inherently wrong with interracial couples, or their offspring. But more than likely they will face difficulty being able to assimilate into either of their parents' cultures. Unless they are fortunate enough to have features that allow them to "pass" for one or the other.

edit-changed a stupid mistake

Regarding the bi-racial thing: Grace is multi-racial, Japanese father and (mostly) Polynesian (native Hawaiian) mother. She says it's seldom an issue of any kind, and never had any problem fitting in with either her father's or her mother's families, at least not in Hawaii. She isn't accepted as Japanese fully when she's visited there with her father because her facial features and skin tone are both off in a way that stands out to other Japanese, though not to most whites.

Gilda

Ah DAMMIT, EDIT AGAIN, THIS IS ABAYA POSTING: Once again Abaya is taking over her boyfriend, ktspktsp's, account by accident... I am staying at his place and keep forgetting to log him out. Damn, I apologize. So the following is NOT posted by ktspktsp, but by Abaya.

I realize this was a typo, but what did you mean to say?... which parent is which ethnicity?

I understand that you feel like an outsider. But for me personally, I just feel like saying, so what? Why would I *want* to assimilate into one of my parent's cultures? Why not be happy with what I have and who I am, without having to become part of one grand ethnic group or the other.

I wouldn't like belonging to one ethnic group; I find it restricting. As it is, whenever I am around Thai or Icelandic people, I know they probably don't think of me as "their own," and I've become quite fine with that. I am happy to just be an American who is half-whatever to them. If they don't see me as a whole person, that's their problem. Like I said, I think it's way cooler to be heterogeneous than homogeneous. Hybrid vigor, baby. ;)

Personally, I think it's great that my parents were open enough to each other that they didn't worry so much about how I would be received. I feel the same way about my kids; whatever people might say about them doesn't matter, because I know they would be whole human beings, not halves or quarters based on their parents' ethnicity.

Fixed the typo, father is black, mother white.

Again, it doesn't have to do with how you youself feel, it's more a problem with how others will recieve you. People need to label things, so you will be instantly labelled into one group or the other. But that group won't fully accept you either, because you are different. Unless you can fully pass for one, and keep secret your multiracial identity.

In an ideal world that would be enough, but this world is far from ideal. You will not always be able to protect your children from the outside world-they will have to interact with others and will face these problems. It's unfortunate, but true. And any interracial couple should also consider what thier children will have to deal with. It's no different than parents who have genes that can pass on harmful effects to their children-these people also have to weigh the positives and negatives of having a child because of the risk of defect. And in the case of an interracial couple, the "defect" isn't one that is innate, but one placed upon multiracial people by society.

Again, a lot of this will also depend on where you live. There are a lot of places that are more tolerant of racial integration, and aren't overly hung up on race. But these places are few and far between.

A nigger is to african americans as white trash is to caucasions.

Black culture in this country, propogated by rap, entertainment industry, the drug trade, etc, has caused a lot of black guys to come up thinking only about their pride well being, and it makes some people in our 'old white man' society uncomfortable.

If the guy has class, he's got class. If he doesn't he doesn't. That's how I base my judgement on interracial or non-interracial relationships alike.

Well, maybe this is where our differences are coming from. I was born and raised in Seattle, quite possibly one of the more tolerant cities in America (San Francisco is higher on the scale, I think). Now, of course it's not perfect, and we have racial issues like most other urban areas on the country. But I noticed a big difference when I moved to the east coast. Ethnicity is palpable; you notice it everywhere around you here, whereas in Seattle things are significantly more integrated and it's cool to be ethnic, or even half-ethnic.

I still think that an interethnic couple having a "mixed" child doesn't need to think, "Hm, should we even have this child, because no one will accept him?" If they live in that hostile of an area, they should move, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't have children. If they were carriers of a genetic disease, well okay, then you should consider not having children. But ethnicity is not a genetic "problem." I think interethnic couples should have whatever children they want, and if the people around them don't like it.. fuck 'em, and teach your children to say "fuck off" to them, too. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but really, I don't understand why it matters so much what other people's labels are?...

/sorry if this is a threadjack, I hope it's still relevant?

I'd say it's pretty much impossible to not categorize people. How can you not notice somebody's race or gender?

As another TFP member said in a previous post:

I'm a white man, and this would be immediately obvious to anyone who saw me. Why should we criticize people for noticing something as obvious as my race and gender, as long as they don't try to kill me or vandalize my car (or violate my individual rights in some other manner) because of it?

As far as relationships are concerned; who we choose to date is nobody else's business so long as all parties involved in the relationship are consenting adults.

Obviously you're going to see that a black man has differently colored skin than a white man. The thing we need to all realize, though, is that it just doesn't matter.

We see brown eyed people and blue eyed people all the time, but we don't go attributing prejudicial notions to either eye color. But we still say things like "you have really nice blue eyes," etc.


We have achieved an eye-color-blind society, by which I mean we see the color but it just doesn't matter as far as our evaluation of the person's worth.

Now we need to work on other bodypart coloration issues, namely skin.

I may be naive, but I get the impression that racism is a generation thing. It seems that most (not all) people in my age group (I'm 25) seem to be okay with interracial dating, and don't seem to be racist at all. Now, I am from a liberal Northern background, so I have not seen the whole picture, but from what I did see, there doesn't seem to be as big of a problem with race anymore. With that in mind, it is possible that in a few generations we will not see each other as Jewish Americans, African Americans, Italian Americans, Mexican Americans and such, but just see each other as Americans. I am white, but I went to school in New Mexico, so I actually had a dose of being the minority. But it was usually at the hands of an older generation.

Oops.

So. . .are you insinuating that people from the south are inherently racist? ;)



It depends entirely on what group of people you're looking at. Detroit recently had huge racial disturbances that were sparked because some horse's ass decided that all black people are in gangs and are making trouble on his street.

In this you are correct. We no longer have slavery, nor do we force black people to drink out of different water fountains or stay out of "good" restaurants.


I certainly hope so. But it won't happen until ALL people of ALL races stop worrying about something as stupid as skin color.



Well there ya go! I worked in the Albuquerque market for several years and noticed that racism isn't quite such a problem in New Mexico as it is in other places. Probably because anyone stupid enough to be openly racist is going to find themselves in trouble from a LOT of representitives of the other races.

Not that racism has been completely eliminated, mind you, but there isn't nearly the problem of "oh shit, cross the street, he's mexican" that there is elsewhere.

New Mexico has also figured out that you can accept other races, not care what race someone is, yet still celebrate cultural diversity.

Then you are hanging around with a much more tolerant bunch than many I've seen. Don't think that because people are young, they aren't racist.

The problems with race in the north are still there, they are just hidden. A southern racist will come up to your face and say "I don't like Niggers" (assuming you're black [or for some, any dark-skinned person is a nigger]). A northern racist will talk about all the black (oops, I mean African-American) friends they have, how much they think racism is bad, etc. then quietly move to another neighborhood if too many coloreds start moving in, or make sure that they only get so far in a company, so they "know their place". Point being-at least a southern racist will be up front with you. With a northern racist, you have to watch when shaking his hand that the left isn't stabbing you in the back.

It's also possible in a few generations that we will all evolve beautiful multicolored wings that synthesize sunlight and allow flight speeds of 100 mph, thereby eliminating hunger and pollution from automobiles forever. I think my supposition has a slightly higher possibility than yours.

It's that older generation that passes on it's views to the younger. And even if they aren't manifested as blatantly (because of the general view of society that racism is a bad thing), they are still there in the mind.

And for the topic in general, you should date whoever you want. But you should also be aware of the problems that could arrise from dating outside your race, or having multiracial children.

I guess I've said this before, but I still think there's far more to be gained (for both parents and children) from having multiethnic children than from having homogeneous children. This doesn't mean it will be "easier," whatever that means, but it doesn't HAVE to be a major issue if it is handled properly. Having a multiethnic child is not the equivalent of having a child when the parents knew they were at risk for a genetic disease. That is assuming that ethnicity is always a detriment to an individual; it is not.

Yes, it may depend on where you are raised. But I don't think that in America, the South is full of racists and the North is full of closet-racists. That's an overly pessimistic and generalized view. There is just too much complexity involved in people's opinions and upbringings to lump them into those categories.

That's not what I meant. That sounds so terrible, forgive me? What I meant was my family has always been very openminded when it comes to race. My aunt when she was in her mid forties brought home a black man and no one in my famly was bothered by it. Of course there is still racism in the North and no not all Southerners are ignorant bigots, when I said liberal Northern background, I meant my family.

Hope I didn't insult anyone on here.

Oh by the way, Shakran and Alansmithee thank you for your well thought out replies.

You're going to have to work a good deal harder than that if you want to insult people on here ;) I only pointed that out to show that it's VERY easy to say something that people can interpret as racist/sexist/(making up a word here) geographist. Hopefully people will start realizing that not EVERYTHING that could be interpreted as being insulting to a specific group actually IS an insult

It's the exact same thing. In both cases, a known genetic condition (either some recessive disorder or skin pigmentation) could end up causing their children more hardship than a child born of different parents. Just because one is innate and the other is because of society doesn't make a difference, because that child might have to deal with society.

I disagree. In America, almost everyone is a racist in some way. It's all in how you choose to deal with it. My "southern racist" puts it out in the open, usually in an offensive way. The "northern racist" hides it from general public, and will often go overly in the other direction just to show how much they aren't a racist.

When I was younger (in elementary/middle school) I never though much about race (outside of certain specific situations). But as got older, and was increasingly put into more segregated situations ( I think I had exactly 2 other black males in my high school classes from sophmore year on up), and saw more and more the effects of racism, I started thinking more about the issue. And for awhile, I would get quite aggravated over places I thought I saw racism. And I thought of all the things that could be done to change people's opinions, or help eliminate racism and the difficulties between the racists. And then I got older yet, and all I have left is the anger, because I've seen more and more the evidence that nothing will change people's opinions, and that as I was taught in high school (at a school sponsored meeting) that "racism is like the sunrise-every morning you wake up it will be there". So I started learning to accept more and more racism. But recently since I've started exploring the option of living abroad after graduation, I've had to look again at how my skin color will affect how I'm percieved in other countries.

And this is worse for those of mixed heritage if they cannot pass as one of their races. Because you don't know how you will be recieved in situations. For instance, when I'm with one group of my friends (which are pretty much all white), I'm the black guy. But when I'm with another group of friends (which are mainly black or hispanic), when race does come up a point will always be made that I'm only half black. You can fit in on the surface, but you will never be fully accepted as one or the other. And because of my experiences, I know that my decision to have children will definately take into account the race of the potential mother.

So what's the problem? As many have said who cares what others think. If your going to let others bother you, how secure are you in yourself? I have never dated interracially, and would'nt care what others thought. I refuse to by into this that's the way it is or we're all supposed to conform. I mean hell, didn't we have a tea party a few years back in Boston to prove that we wanted to be our own people and do things our way.
Rock on if you don't conform, if your different.
Scoty

I went to Historically Black University as a Black man with an Indian girlfriend. Our families were against it. The girls at my school gave her hell when she came to events to support me. It put a lot of strain on our relationship. It even got to the point where female friends of mine would smile in my face and tell her that they were there to take her from me and there was nothing she could do about it. It caused a lot of problems for me at home. Dont be fooled into thinking that all it takes to get by in an interracial relationship is to be comfortable in who you are. It is a long series of battles that may never end and will test the hell out of the relationship. At times, its easier to hide the relationship than fight them. But I love who I love, and I have lost family and friends for her and would never look back, even now that we are no longer together.

I'm reminded of an article I read a couple of years ago. A black man was ranting about Big Brother Whitey. He was stating that all of our role models were white guys. As an example he gave The Rock. It made me laugh really hard as The Rock is half black, half Samoan.

I have to say I have mixed feelings about supporting interracial dating by people who look differently (i.e. skin color) because of all of the burden on their children. It pains me to say that because of my own half white half black ethnicity. I just think some people can't handle it, and that is a part of human nature. People want and need to label people, and mixed races confuse things. I think it is something you have to prepare for if you want to enter a relationship with someone who doesn't look like you, but it hopefully won't stop you.

Personally I get flak on both sides of the fence. White people often think of me as their "black friend", while black people don't realize I'm mixed and think I'm a sell out or trying to be white. You don't ever fit in anywhere. Even in family situations I don't fit in. I've been called unflattering slurs by relatives. That's frustrating when I'm only trying to be myself, but I think that is one of the reasons I ended up being so confident in myself and able to do what I want without shame or regard to what others might judge.

Every relationship I've had has technically been a "bi-racial" relationship. None of the girls had a problem with it; it was always the parents and family. I've been shot down because "blacks beat their wives" or other such nonsense. No one cares what your racial stock is anyways - these people just care what you look like.

I do think racism will become less overt as time goes by. Children will grow up raised by racist parents who are less and less outspoken about it, so they will oftentimes become less racist than their parents.

I think we'd be better off if we all just learned to judge people on a case-by-case basis, but I think we aren't made to work like that. It's something to strive for, though.

So, if I'm to guess right, you're question is whether interracial dating is okay. One simple question - are you (as a couple) happy? That's all that matters.

To the OP: honeypot: knock that shit out. There could be issues, and you'll have a good idea when they might come up, and you can deal with most of them. Some of them you can't. Life goes on.

And the main reason I posted:

alan: I didn't think it was possible, but you managed to crack my shit up. Merci. I usually feel like I'd like to strangle you, but this time I almost peed myself. Bravo, and a goodnight.

But it does matter to some people. And as long as these people respect the rights of others, I don't believe I have any business telling them how to feel about race relations.

I'm as white as Ned Flanders, but I do tend to prefer to date exogamously...mainly asians and chicanas. I find them quite attractive. However, that's a personal preference and obviously it differs between people. IMO it's the same as differing preferences about house styles, entertainment, food, etc. I may not share someone's preferences but each to their own.

Generally speaking, it's no concern of mine who people do or don't date, or what their phenotypic attributes happen to be. Race is obviously a social construction - it doesn't exist outside of people's minds. However, so are emotions and many other things, such as economics. I do not perceive it as an inherently bad idea so long as it is not used in a negative way.

Without at least alluding to race, how else am I supposed to whisper sweet nonsense into some girl's ear about her perfectly almond-shaped eyes, awesome dark hair, etc, etc? :thumbsup:

I'm Asian. I've always wanted to date outside of my race but never had the opportunity.

In law school there was this latina firecracker who was very outspoken and strong. She even went as far as to admit that 'she liked me.' (We were at a bar after class).

Alas, I just think our values did not mesh. I am from a very traditional family, while her parents were basically social advocate lawyers.

I suppose that's one 'barrier' to dating outside of one's race--different backgrounds and differences in certain values.

Anyway, I'm happily with another Asian girlfriend now.

I have found that a great many people, for that read all, mistake phenotype for ethnicity. Personally I hate the term race. It's a horrible Victorian era word which focuses on difference and separation.

I used to have a mixed race work colleague. She was ethnically White. That's to say her culture, beliefs and traditions. Shed been raised by her English mother and grand parents.

On the other end of the scale I had a mixed race friend who very much described himself as black. He looked White. He looked whiter than I do. I'm White and have no mixed racial genes. As far as I know anyway. He'd get very upset because his ethnicity and phenotype were very different. People always assumed he was White which was contrary to how he saw himself.

You can have radically different ethnicities within a particular phenotype. I'm a Scottish Presbyterian, One of my elder sisters converted to Judaism and married a Jewish lad, (These are both white cultures but very different,) they're quite observant in their religious life. That's quite a culture clash right there. My family has always been accepting but it hasn't exactly been easy either.

How often is tradition used as an excuse these days for intolerance. Tradition has become a smoke screen for ignorance. Many cultures these days frown on people marrying out. It ridiculous really.

In Orkney, the male line was invading vikings, so I guess there was a bit of pillaging and plundering and mixed race unions. Then they went to Normandy - probably there was a financial inducement, but then there would have been mixed unions. Then we came to England, and we won as we came with King William. We never left, so over the years we have joined with peoples with similar line historys. We are all mongrels. Like dog shows, we seem to honour a breed from Germany with genetic defect - of peeing purple and going barking mad. Its in the line you know.

But... Ned Flanders is yellow.. sorry, i like to point out pointless details sometimes

More of which we might use.:thumbsup: