roids - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

BAMF · 09-18-2005, 12:43 PM

I think I have a hemroid and was wondering how long it will take to heal on its own. I am too embarassed to buy prepH or some other OC med. Also don't want to go to have a doctor look into my anus.

What I have is a swollen vein that runs out of my recum and down almost to my scrotum. I have not looked up pics of hemroids on the net, and I do not think I want to.

This vein itches a lot, and when I wipe after taking a dump it often bleeds a little. I thought my use of cheap tp (almost sandpaper) caused this and prevented healing. I have since allocated more of my monthly budget towards improving the quality of the paper that graces my damaged bung hole.

Without getting into the detailed sordid backstory, I have two questions. Is this a hemroid? Left untreated, when will it stop?

I fully realize that the title of this topic will have people coming here to read/preach about steroids. While it was my intention to mislead people, I am primarily interested in the answers to my previous questions.

JStrider · 09-19-2005, 07:22 PM

heres the webmd.com section for hemrhoids... read it

http://my.webmd.com/hw/hemorrhoids/hw213498.asp

BAMF · 09-19-2005, 09:38 PM

That was very informative. Apart from spicy food and moderate alcohol I eat right. I think my problem is how determined I am when using TP.

raeanna74 · 09-20-2005, 07:37 AM

Preperation H is well worth the minor embarrassment when going through the checkout. Get it when you've got a dozen other items to get and the checkout person probably won't notice. Prep H has helped alleviate my discomfort during pregnancy somewhat immediately and the problem goes away in just a day or two after that. Very helpful and lasts a long time so once you get yourself a tube you won't be needing another one really soon.

Otherwise you can use a wet wipe instead of TP and a simple Zinc oxide or diaper ointment works as well.

Redlemon · 09-20-2005, 07:43 AM

I had a massive hemorrhoid. I had surgery to remove it and a few other small ones (local anesthetic, tools up the rectum, no other incisions). It was uncomfortable for a couple of days, but about the same as the hemorrhoids themselves. They didn't come back.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BAMF

I am too embarrassed to buy prepH or some other OC med. Also don't want to go to have a doctor look into my anus.

And dude, this is why people are doctors. Go to one. They won't be embarrassed or titillated by looking at your butt.

Ustwo · 09-20-2005, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Redlemon

And dude, this is why people are doctors. Go to one. They won't be embarrassed or titillated by looking at your butt.

And I thought my job could get bad

Grasshopper Green · 09-20-2005, 04:57 PM

Use flushable wet wipes, like raenna said. And speaking as someone who used to be a supermarket scanner...the person probably won't even notice and if they do, they won't care. They're used to it.

BAMF · 09-20-2005, 07:20 PM

I dont know if I could risk the possibility of eye contact with the checkout person as they scan my ass cream. Its an external roid, and if I dont start seeing improvement soon, I might go into a store and stand in the aisle looking at the tube. Who knows, there might be a five finger discount at the market that day.

greeneyes · 09-20-2005, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BAMF

I dont know if I could risk the possibility of eye contact with the checkout person as they scan my ass cream. Its an external roid, and if I dont start seeing improvement soon, I might go into a store and stand in the aisle looking at the tube. Who knows, there might be a five finger discount at the market that day.

That's the stupidest thing I've heard in a long time.

Besides, who wants to be known as the guy who stole "ass cream"?

Martian · 09-20-2005, 11:25 PM

If you're that embarrased about it, buy the stuff at the next town over. I guarantee you the cashier doesn't care in the least and you're never going to see them again anyway. Is a bit of a embarrassment really worth all this discomfort?

mattevil · 09-22-2005, 12:55 PM

I had one last year after some really bad diarrhea . Didn't know what it was (a hemroid at 20 seemed unlikely to me). Anyways they prescribed me Hydrocortisone Cream (2.5% i think) for it and it went away. I know that's what my 60 year old dad(who's a dentist so he has a little medical background) also uses. Your case sounds kind of extreme though so you might want to go to the doctor just for some prescription strength stuff.

pig · 09-22-2005, 01:06 PM

BAMF,

First, I think you need to just bite the bullet on both a visit to your doctor and the prep-H, if you're positive you've got a hemmoroid. They deal with this stuff all day long. If it helps you while you're in line, pretend you're buying it as a practical joke for a friend, or on a dare or something.

Catdaddy33 · 09-23-2005, 03:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BAMF

I dont know if I could risk the possibility of eye contact with the checkout person as they scan my ass cream. Its an external roid, and if I dont start seeing improvement soon, I might go into a store and stand in the aisle looking at the tube. Who knows, there might be a five finger discount at the market that day.

C'mon grow a pair, it's not like they are going to follow you out to the car and mock you, or even remember who you are, I mean they see hundreds of folks a day...

If that doesn't help, a lot of the grocery stores and Wal-Mart have self-checkout lanes...and I guarantee the scanner won't make eye-contact

BAMF · 09-27-2005, 04:31 PM

Do you think it came from riding my bicycle?

ngdawg · 09-27-2005, 06:26 PM

They can come from sitting-truck drivers get them frequently...they don't 'go away'-they're busted veins and only surgery will get rid of them entirely (with no guarantee it won't come back).
If you're that embarrassed about buying 'ass-cream', get a box of maxi-pads as well, look the cashier straight in the eye and say, "My girlfriend said we needed napkins and dip for the party"....

abaya · 09-27-2005, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ngdawg

If you're that embarrassed about buying 'ass-cream', get a box of maxi-pads as well, look the cashier straight in the eye and say, "My girlfriend said we needed napkins and dip for the party"....

Oh man, nice one dawg.

Dude, seriously, the checker ain't gonna care. If he/she does, then he/she needs to get a life. Do you know how much "embarassing" stuff we women have to buy all the time? Get over it and take care of yer ass, it's more important than your pride.

Or if you really can't deal, use the self-checker thingy that someone recommended. Those are great for buying things discreetly.

monkeysugar · 09-28-2005, 01:14 AM

The folks at the checkstand don't care what you're buying, and aren't even going to take notice unless you are personal friends of theirs. Then they might give you some shit later, but that's what friends are for. Buy it or see a doctor.

BAMF · 09-28-2005, 05:54 PM

i think ill just order it online

Redlemon · 09-29-2005, 06:40 AM

It's been over 10 days and you are still suffering from them? Go to a doctor. Stop wussing out.

BAMF · 10-14-2005, 04:47 PM

I ordered a 2oz tube of prep-H from amazon today. I put it off because I thought it was going away, but I was really really wrong. Amazon sells a lot of stuff now, I almost added a supplement for days I work out...but I didnt know what to buy, so I skipped out.
Probably better that way.

SantasLilHelper · 10-17-2005, 06:38 PM

According to Santa the best way to doctor a baseball so that you can throw a spitter (which is naughty by the way) is to use a little Prep-H.

So if you can throw left handed and want to keep from hanging a slider ... drop a little of the extra special white stuff in your shopping cart and enjoy your new profound ability to throw a slider that bends off the table!

09-18-2005, 12:43 PM	#1 (permalink)
BAMF Crazy	roids I think I have a hemroid and was wondering how long it will take to heal on its own. I am too embarassed to buy prepH or some other OC med. Also don't want to go to have a doctor look into my anus. What I have is a swollen vein that runs out of my recum and down almost to my scrotum. I have not looked up pics of hemroids on the net, and I do not think I want to. This vein itches a lot, and when I wipe after taking a dump it often bleeds a little. I thought my use of cheap tp (almost sandpaper) caused this and prevented healing. I have since allocated more of my monthly budget towards improving the quality of the paper that graces my damaged bung hole. Without getting into the detailed sordid backstory, I have two questions. Is this a hemroid? Left untreated, when will it stop? I fully realize that the title of this topic will have people coming here to read/preach about steroids. While it was my intention to mislead people, I am primarily interested in the answers to my previous questions.

09-19-2005, 07:22 PM	#2 (permalink)
JStrider Poo-tee-weet? Location: The Woodlands, TX	heres the webmd.com section for hemrhoids... read it http://my.webmd.com/hw/hemorrhoids/hw213498.asp __________________ -=JStrider=- ~Clatto Verata Nicto

09-20-2005, 07:37 AM	#4 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	Preperation H is well worth the minor embarrassment when going through the checkout. Get it when you've got a dozen other items to get and the checkout person probably won't notice. Prep H has helped alleviate my discomfort during pregnancy somewhat immediately and the problem goes away in just a day or two after that. Very helpful and lasts a long time so once you get yourself a tube you won't be needing another one really soon. Otherwise you can use a wet wipe instead of TP and a simple Zinc oxide or diaper ointment works as well. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma. Last edited by raeanna74; 09-20-2005 at 07:42 AM..

09-20-2005, 04:57 PM	#7 (permalink)
Grasshopper Green ...is a comical chap Location: Where morons reign supreme	Use flushable wet wipes, like raenna said. And speaking as someone who used to be a supermarket scanner...the person probably won't even notice and if they do, they won't care. They're used to it. __________________ "They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa

09-20-2005, 11:25 PM	#10 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	If you're that embarrased about it, buy the stuff at the next town over. I guarantee you the cashier doesn't care in the least and you're never going to see them again anyway. Is a bit of a embarrassment really worth all this discomfort? __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

09-19-2005, 09:38 PM	#3 (permalink)
BAMF Crazy	That was very informative. Apart from spicy food and moderate alcohol I eat right. I think my problem is how determined I am when using TP.

09-20-2005, 07:20 PM	#8 (permalink)
BAMF Crazy	I dont know if I could risk the possibility of eye contact with the checkout person as they scan my ass cream. Its an external roid, and if I dont start seeing improvement soon, I might go into a store and stand in the aisle looking at the tube. Who knows, there might be a five finger discount at the market that day.

09-22-2005, 12:55 PM	#11 (permalink)
mattevil Addict Location: Virginia	I had one last year after some really bad diarrhea . Didn't know what it was (a hemroid at 20 seemed unlikely to me). Anyways they prescribed me Hydrocortisone Cream (2.5% i think) for it and it went away. I know that's what my 60 year old dad(who's a dentist so he has a little medical background) also uses. Your case sounds kind of extreme though so you might want to go to the doctor just for some prescription strength stuff.

09-22-2005, 01:06 PM	#12 (permalink)
pig pigglet pigglet Location: Locash	BAMF, First, I think you need to just bite the bullet on both a visit to your doctor and the prep-H, if you're positive you've got a hemmoroid. They deal with this stuff all day long. If it helps you while you're in line, pretend you're buying it as a practical joke for a friend, or on a dare or something. __________________ You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

09-27-2005, 04:31 PM	#14 (permalink)
BAMF Crazy	Do you think it came from riding my bicycle?

09-27-2005, 06:26 PM	#15 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	They can come from sitting-truck drivers get them frequently...they don't 'go away'-they're busted veins and only surgery will get rid of them entirely (with no guarantee it won't come back). If you're that embarrassed about buying 'ass-cream', get a box of maxi-pads as well, look the cashier straight in the eye and say, "My girlfriend said we needed napkins and dip for the party".... __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

09-28-2005, 01:14 AM	#17 (permalink)
monkeysugar I'll be on the veranda, since you're on the cross. Location: Rand McNally's friendliest small town in America. They must have strayed from the dodgy parts...	The folks at the checkstand don't care what you're buying, and aren't even going to take notice unless you are personal friends of theirs. Then they might give you some shit later, but that's what friends are for. Buy it or see a doctor. __________________ I've got the love of my life and a job that I enjoy most of the time. Life is good.

09-28-2005, 05:54 PM	#18 (permalink)
BAMF Crazy	i think ill just order it online

09-29-2005, 06:40 AM	#19 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	It's been over 10 days and you are still suffering from them? Go to a doctor. Stop wussing out. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

10-14-2005, 04:47 PM	#20 (permalink)
BAMF Crazy	I ordered a 2oz tube of prep-H from amazon today. I put it off because I thought it was going away, but I was really really wrong. Amazon sells a lot of stuff now, I almost added a supplement for days I work out...but I didnt know what to buy, so I skipped out. Probably better that way.

10-17-2005, 06:38 PM	#21 (permalink)
SantasLilHelper Upright Location: Way Up North...watch out for that pole.	According to Santa the best way to doctor a baseball so that you can throw a spitter (which is naughty by the way) is to use a little Prep-H. So if you can throw left handed and want to keep from hanging a slider ... drop a little of the extra special white stuff in your shopping cart and enjoy your new profound ability to throw a slider that bends off the table! __________________ Making a list...checking it twice! Gonna find out who's naughty or nice! Santas Lil Helper is coming to T.F.P.!!!