I think I'm an alcoholic
 

*Sigh*
Ok, I've been drinking since I was 16. I'm 24 now. The last two years it has been very heavy. (Everday and sometimes at work.)Sometimes I'll spike fruit and bring it to work. When I'm not drinking I have anxiety, bad. I think I need help. Actually, I know I need help. I've known this for awhile. When I drink alone, which is alot, I start crying and thinking about what I've done with my life. I'm not severly depressed. Just a little, I think. I was thinking about going to an AA meeting down at the church. It might help. I just want to stop or maybe just cut down. (Every other Saturday.) I'm scared about going, but my friend said he would go with me. Just for support.

What inspired me to do this thread, is last night I was with a very cute girl (18 :D ) and I couldn't perform because of the large ammounts of vodka in my system. She was very understanding, even though I felt like total shit. I wanted her so bad. Thats not the first time this has happened. It also happened with my ex-girlfriend. I went to google (google knows all) and found this test below. I filled it out and I'm wondering:

Do I need to go to the hospital for detox?
Should I quit cold turkey? Or just severly cut down?
What should I expect at a AA meeting?
What should I do about my anxiety after I quit drinking?

I really want to do something about this. Any alcoholics out there that can help me and tell me what I should do and expect? Please help me. Thanks.






The Alcoholic Test

Purpose: This activity is designed to help you determine if you have some alcoholic tendencies and to advance your understanding of alcoholic behavior.

Directions: Respond to the following questions by answering "yes" or "no".

___x__1) Do you occasionally drink heavily after a disappointment, a quarrel, or when the boss/your professors give you a hard time?

___x__2) When you have trouble or feel under pressure, do you drink more heavily than usual?

___x__3) Have you noticed that you are able to handle more liquor than when you were first drinking?

___x__4) Did you ever wake up on the "morning after" and discover that you could not remember part of the evening before, even though your friends tell you that you did not pass out?

___x__5) When drinking with other people, do you try to have a few extra drinks when others will not know it?

___x__6) Are there certain occasions when you feel uncomfortable if alcohol is not available?

___x__7) Have you recently noticed that when you begin drinking you are in more of a hurry to get the first drink than you used to be?

___x__8) Do you sometimes feel a little guilty about your drinking?

___x__9) Are you secretly irritated when your family or friends discuss your drinking?

___x__10) Have you recently noticed an increase in the frequency of your memory blackouts?

___x__11) Do you often find that you wish to continue drinking after your friends say that they have had enough?

___x__12) Do you have a reason for the occasions when you drink heavily?

___x__13) When you sober, do you often regret things you did or said while drinking?

___x__14) Have you tried switching brands or following different plans for controlling your drinking?

___x__15) Have you often failed to keep the promises you have made to yourself about controlling or cutting down your drinking?

___no__16) Have you ever tried to control your drinking by making a change in jobs, college or moving to a new location?

___x__17) Do you try to avoid family or close friends while you are drinking?

___x__18) Are you having an increasing number of financial, work and school problems?

__no___19) Do more people seem to be treating you unfairly without good reason?

___x__20) Do you eat very little or irregularly when you are drinking?

__no___21) Do you sometimes have "the shakes" in the morning and find that it helps to have a little drink?

__no__22) Have you recently noticed that you cannot drink as much as you once did?

__x___23) Do you sometimes stay drunk for several days at a time?

__x__24) Do you sometimes feel very depressed and wonder if life is worth living?

__no___25) Sometimes after periods of drinking, do you see or hear things that aren't there?

__x__26) Do you get terribly frightened after you have been drinking heavily?

Scoring: Those who answer yes to two or more of these questions may wish to evaluate their drinking habits to further determine consistency and frequency of patterns. The guide below indicates which questions relate to the different stages of alcoholism.

Questions 1 through 8 represent the early stage of alcoholism. If you checked one or more of these, it would be wise to watch your drinking behaviors carefully. Although many people stay at this stage throughout their lives, many others miss the chance to control their drinking before it progresses.

Questions 9 through 21 represent the middle stage of alcoholism. If you check one or more of these, your dependence on alcohol is probably well established. Outside counseling might be helpful at this stage.

Questions 21 through 26 represent the final stage of alcoholism. If your answers indicate that you are in this stage, you should seek medical help.

Dude....go to AA, the program can work.

Dude....go see a doctor ASAP. And start reading up on this situation. Addiction is pretty seriouos. You didn't get there in a day and it will take some serious work to recover. And you'll always be recovering.

Therapy is a key part of the whole thing....figuring out why you self-medicate.

So....go see that doctor!!

Talking to your doctor about it is not a bad idea...

but generally, if you think you have a problem and are concerned about it, you probably do have a problem and you should do something about it,

Going to a hospital to detox? probably not unless you are getting the DTs from not drinking.

AA meetings: (I've been to them to support more than one friend who had a problem and as training for when i worked on a suicide hotline) What do expect?
If you google the 12 steps of AA, they put a lot of stock in that whole higher power thing... If you beleive in god, great, I do, but I beleive in myself more, and the only real issue that i have with AA, it seems to absolve a person from personal responsibility... BUT never having been an alcoholic, maybe it's what a person needs to get help to get them past that first initial hurdle.

The positive side. it's a confidential meeting, no last names at all, if you don't want to speak, you don't have to, you can sit in the back and drink coffee and listen. Going to AA, you have to want to get help, and at some point, you want to admit you have a problem, and it really is as simple as the m uch joked about, Hi, I'm maleficent and I'm an alcoholic... HI Maleficent... /me turns red and sits down... You can talk about your issues.... you can talk about how alcohol has effected your sexual performance... other people might talk about the same thing... Not unlike TFP, where there is total anonyminity, it's just a sharing of ideas.. but unlike TFP, you wont have maleficent telling you what you should do... what you should do has to come from within you.. and sometimes talking about it out loud - -gets you there.

You wil find it a very nurturing and supportive place, you will probaly have someone, maybe not at the first meeting, but soon after, wanting to be your sponsor... this is the person that you call when alcohol is calling your name and you want to drink.. that's when that support comes in....

For now, get rid of all the alcohol in your house... so you won't be tempted- temptation will always be there, but in the beginning, it's a lot harder if it's staring you in the face... Pour it down the drain... Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if this is how you want to spend the next 20 years +of your life... Alcohol is a disease, but the cure for it comes from within you.

I really think Maleficent said it all. I'm not an alcoholic, although I probably could be as it runs in my family and I can see why people would become dependent on it. My mom had great success with AA when she went. I also attended a similar meeting with my MIL when she was in drug rehab; it wasn't just for alcoholics, it was for any type of addiction. I found the meeting to be supportive, informative, and no one had to say anything if they didn't want to (other than their names). Try one out; you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Good luck and keep us posted!

Anything can become a technical addiction when the user feels that he cannot easily stop using said product. When using a optional product so much that it no longer becomes fun, then help should be sought out.

I immensly enjoy the benefits of alcohol, so I drink a lot and often. I answered "yes" to more than half of those questions. However, it's not controlling my life, I do not have the depression, and I feel that it would be easy to stop drinking if I so choose.

Since you're mentioning the depression side of it, a doctor's help should be undertaken. Any time you get the feeling that "you just can't stop", then there needs to be some sort of outside agency to assist you.

Good luck, man. I know we all wish you the best.

A good friend of mine is a psych/nurse who at one time worked with folks dealing with addictions. Stopping alcohol consumption cold turkey can be extremely dangerous. Please see a doctor first for assistance in the detox process.

Well, the best thing you have going for you is that you realize you have a problem. That is the first big step. I have heard great things about AA, but other people have already posted about that. The next thing that you need is a lot of love and support. You have not wasted your life yet because you are still young. This can be conquered if you want it bad enough and it sounds as if you do. I wish you the best of luck!! :icare:

once you quit stay that way 1 drop can make you go back and start again

Take the step and go to a AA meeting

I'm definitely going to AA. I just gotta call and see when the meetings are. I don't want to go to the hospital for detox because of my job and I really need the money and can't afford to miss work. I haven't had a drink in 24 hours. I feel nauseous but it passed. I smoked some weed (my other vice) but then I had a panic attack. So no more weed or just a hit or two. I really feel alot of support from my fellow TFPers. Thank you so much. :love:

I am an addictions counselor.... as you state your problem and without knowing you, I can offer some very generic but good advice.

There are only 2 basic drug addictions that will kill you when you come off them.... Benzodiazipines (Xanax, Librium, etc. psychotropic sedatives basically) and alcohol.

It sounds like you went through the worst part and at 24 you're lucky. Stop now. I see people who are in their 30's with livers dying, guys drinking rubbing alcohol because they lost everything to booze and have given up. Your detox sounds like it was very easy.

But be careful, your body has a tolrence to alcohol now and so if you relapse you'll find you will be starting pretty much where you left off, and I can guarantee it will be harder to detox off of next time.

Detoxing off alcohol shoots your BP to extreme heights, every organ in your body reacts very negatively and you can die very fast.

Heroin, cocaine, Meth and so on you just wish you were dead when you detox.

As for A.A. that's up to you, it's a great program and it's free.... but it doesn't work for everyone and some people feel that when A.A. doesn't work they are truly hopeless (this stigma is added by A.A. itself who preaches they are the only way to stay sober). If you find A.A. doesn't work find a clinic, and find sober friends through church, work, personals, however you need to.

At 24 and what you say you were doing, you definately sound like you meet the DSMIV criteria of alcoholism.

Now that you know and you realize what you need to do, the call is yours. It is a progressive disease and you will never get better if you continue drinking, in fact you will only get worse. At 24 doing what you do already it sounds like your body is truly more susceptible to the addiction than most.

Find help, follow through and most of all take it a day, an hour, a minute, a second at a time. Lip service is great many people quit or have an experience that get them to think and they truly want to stop but once feeling better they are drinking again and find themselves in a worse situation.

As for weed, you masked the withdrawal of alcoholism which in detox is all we do. It'll take about 3-5 days to fully detox and you will go through some serious sickness. (Although at 24, your body should be young enough to regenerate faster so the sickness may not be as severe as if you drank for 20 years.)

Be careful of your BP and go to a pharmacy or store where they have BP monitors and monitor it every 6-8 hours, make sure it's not shooting up...... it can shoot up and cause death real fast.

Also stay away from the weed and any other mind altering drug, what they will do is take you to your true addiction, alcohol..... or you may just trade addictions.

IM me if you want and I'll be glad to give you the addresses of clinics in your area that help, either with detox or counselling.

YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT PATH, BUT HOW YOU CHOOSE TO GO DOWN IT IS TOTALLY UP TO YOU.

Strange, I just watched Penn & Teller's show Bullshit, the episode about AA. For what it is worth, their research showed that people who go to AA and people who do not have the same success rate of getting off the sauce. The previous comments about AA teaching you to forego personal responsibility and put your faith in a higher power are true. If it works for you, great - just know that AA is not the end-all-be-all of getting through your difficulty. Best of luck to you.

Blessings to you Pan. I hoped you would step in. :icare:

Johnnie, listen to Pan. He knows better than any of us the difficult road you will be walking. I wish you success in becoming addiction free. :thumbsup:

You should definitley seek help. I won't go into detail because plenty of people already have. However, if during your detox period at any time you break into the shakes, start vomiting, get confused or start halluciniating get to the ER immediatly.

Better yet, call 911. Please don't try to drive.

Edit: I'm sure that is what VitaminH meant. Get a ride, call 911, but DON'T drive.

I didn't realize that you could die from alcohol withdrawal. That is quite scary. Johnny, I wish you the best of luck!

Traumatic seisures, cardiac arrest, or aspirating your own vomit and sufficating. That is what an unassisted alcohol withdrawal can cause. Any true alcoholic under DSM IV should ignore any advice to just send it all down the drain and move on.

Another thanks to Pan.

Very good Elphaba, it can cause all those and so much more, and yet hospitals and doctors rarely seem to really treat it throughly in E.R.'s.

It's sad but on average doctors only recieve 8 hours of addiction training and even then it's more on prescription drugs than anything else.

One of the best ways to help yourself in recovery is to find a doctor (dentist), who is in recovery himself. They are out there and usually it isn't that hard to locate them. They are good at alternative pain relief without doping you up, usually.

I've known several people who had great experiences with AA, but if you're looking for a secular alternative, they are out there. SOS (Secular Organizations for Sobriety/Saving Our Selves) is one of them, and Rational Recovery is another. I don't know about their success rate (long- or short-term) compared to AA, but perhaps other people know about them, or about other groups if AA is not for you.

http://www.sossobriety.org/
http://www.rational.org/

Its been two weeks since my last drink. I feel like shit. Sometimes I feel ok, I forget about it, but other times I don't know what to do with myself. Its a bad feeling. I feel like I wanna jump out of my skin. Its horrible. I never felt like this before.

My pot smoking has gone down. I seem to get panic attacks from just one hit. So reality has a grip on me. I'm sober all the time now. Its very different. I must confess, I don't like it.

I contacted AA. I don't wanna go because I fear public speaking, but the crave for booze isn't getting better so maybe I'll confront my fear.

My smoking has increased. Two packs a day. It helps. The anxiety is killing me. I hope it goes away. I need a drink really, really, bad. :(

So, its friday night, I'm by myself, not drinking, completely sober, smoking like a chimney, thinking, posting, and hating it.

Smoking bad.. but one addiction at a time :)

Good for you for going two weeks, AA's creed is one day at a time,a nd sometimes it might very well be one hour or one minute at a time... Some days I'm sure will be easier than others... Don't spend your time alone if you can help it... that's when it would be the hardest.. go out - to a bookstore, find a club, find something you enjoy doing where drinking owuldn't be appropriate but being out would be..

I'm proud of you..

At AA, from the few meetings that I attended, you absolutely do not have to get up and speak unless you want to, you can go and sit and just listen, drink coffee and smoke cigarettes (ones i went to were not smoke free, dont know if that's changed) You might, after listening to people spill their guts, feel compelled to tell your story, or introduce yourself... it's a supportive and nurturing environment. they are there to help. and if public speaking causes you pain, then you don't have to do it...

I've read through this entire thread and I'm interested in Johnny Pyro's reactions. Infact, a tear came to my eye reading some of these posts. I'm 20, came to college at 18 with the idea that I wouldn't drink cause I hated the taste of alcohol. That changed 5 weeks into my freshman year. I'm not starting my Junior year and I've been through the "getting drunk everyday of the week cause its fun", drinking because I have nothing else better to do, or drinking because it helps me get laid but it doesn't help me perform.

I've been back at school for 21 days, of those 21 days I've been drunk about 10 of them. I realized I was becoming an asshole, alienating myself from people in the midst of the "partying" and decided to take a break. Unfortunately I took that break on a Wednesday and started drinking again on Friday night (I don't remember much after midnight) and about twice as much on Saturday night. All day sunday I felt 'still drunk' and didn't reach a hangover till about Monday afternoon.

I've been able to stop drinking, I stopped for about 2 months this summer but that was due to the fact that I didn't have access to alcohol. But as I shortly turn 21 I fear that I might have the problem of buying booze "just because". I mean, I've already setup the plan to only buy alcohol with cash and not credit card so that I don't buy it on a whim (I rarely carry cash).

What do you guys think I should do? Or should I just keep reading?

and Johnny, I'm proud of you!

Wish I could tell you what to do Pyro but we are in similar boats. Congrats on making it two weeks! I haven't smoked cigarettes (never been a smoker) but I have smoked just a tiny bit of weed. Just a couple of puffs to help me sleep. Pot has never been my thing either. I'm leaving my bank card at home and just carrying enough cash around for lunch or snacks each day so I won't be able to slip into a bar and get smashed. I know what you are going through. The more you try not to think about it the more you obsess about it. Some sort of support will probably be needed for us both. I'm trying to hit the gym, its a good stress relief and the endophin rush of a really hard work out is a nice "fix". You might give it a try. Good luck.

Addictions are unbelievably difficult. I'm almost glad to hear that you have smoking to help get you over the hump. It won't get any easier for a while. Just remember, you can NEVER have another drink. That's tough to face but very true. One sip is all it takes. My friend quit for 15 years, then had just one at a bar one night. Then it was just two beers when out with friends. Then beer & wine only. Now, he's right back where he was. He's married to a beautiful girl but she won't watch the abuse for too much longer before she splits. The guy can chug a bottle of Jack Daniels in about 30 seconds. It's scary.

Another of my alcoholic friends just got his 4th DUI a week ago. He's going to jail. His two daughters, both beautiful kids, are aware that daddy's an idiot & cares more about the drinking than them. That's just the way addictions are. He's not really a bad guy but he has the monkey on his back & can't get it off. He recently got divorced from his drop-dead gorgeous wife & I can guarantee you he'll never find better. All from alcohol.

On the bright side, think of how your body is now healing itself. You won't wind up with a gin blossom nose, you'll be able to have a normal life which most alcoholics can't. Smoking sucks, but few people ever get divorced over using too much tobacco. Alcohol ruins your life. Find a new hobby, spend the extra money you now have from not drinking on something cool for yourself. Treat yourself regularly. Look forward to a bright future instead of one where you need to lie constantly to cover up your alcohol use. My Congratulations & use the forum regularly when you need to type out what you are going through. My addiction was always tobacco but I finally got off of those five years ago. I thought I was going to have to be locked up in a box for a year to finally quit, but I did it when my daughter was born.

Mal is absolutely correct - I've been to many AA meetings before (supporting alcoholics; I do not believe that I am one) and there is no requirement for speaking. I suspect that if you go to a few, you will hear a number of people speak about things and think to yourself "wait a minute! He just described exactly what I did 18 month ago!" Just go an listen for a while - when you first go, someone will probably ask if anyone is there for their first meeting - if you want, you can raise your hand, and they will ask you to stand up and introduce yourself - note that you DO NOT have to say that you are an alcoholic then and there - You may later, but it is perfectly OK to say something like "Hi, my name is Johnny and I think I may have a drinking problem." After that intro, you don't have to talk again until the spirit moves you... so to speak!

Sounds good. I just have a fear of public speaking. I don't like all the attention on me. I think I'll go if I don't have to talk.

I'm having a real hard time here. I don't think I can go sober everyday. I'm so confused. Should I try to drink, but keep it controlled? Drink once a week? Its been almost three in a half weeks. Ahhhh...I don't know what to do! I just don't want it to control my life. I'm only 24, that is still young. I don't realize that sometimes. Should I try once a week? Is cold turkey the right way? Just get buzzed even. Once a week. Alcohol makes me feel better. Just once a week. I'm so confused. :confused:

sounds like things are going fairly well, i would suggest not drinking anytime soon

i think you need to decide what you want to do....do you want to quit for good, like were talking years without a drink
or
are you just trying to get back to the days were it was a weekend or party kinda thing...were talking 2 times a week or less here

i can kinda relate to your situation in a more milder way, i was an alcoholic at age 18 and almost died of alcohol posioning at 19 , and i with help of my friends decided to cut down alot i went 2 months without a drink, it was hard especially with it being summer but now i only drink on weekend and i have been really good about it, its probably only working because i have friends that help me out

BOTTOM LINE
whatever you decide you want to do you ARE going to need people/friends/family there to help keep you in line with your intentions

hope you make it though this all well and good

If you want to face your problem, you have to quit drinking completely. Belive me, if you feel you have an addiction (and when you are craving something the way you are, I think you are addicted) you need to stop completely. Once a week/month/decade/etc is going to lead you right back into continually. You have to stop 100%. Sorry for the bad news. Go to AA and do it quick...

I have to differ, with the caveat that I am not an expert, I just play one on the intranets. Studies have been done that show that people who ctrol their drinking have a much lower relapse rate. Those who follow programs that abstain have replapse rates as high as 95% according to some studies.

http://www.peele.net/lib/cdvsabs.html

However, I do like c172g's idea of treating yourself with the money you're saving on the sauce.

Man.

I just read your thread and I wish you the very best of luck.

I can only offer my own personal experiences.

My dad died of alcohol related complications at 53.

I literally watched my ex's brother die at 42. He left behind two children.

Because of these and a few other experiences, I know a little about alcoholism.

First, go to AA. You'll find people who have been through what you are going through. Talk or don't talk, it's up to you. But they'll understand.

Second, for a full blown alcoholic, there is no such thing as controlled drinking. Once you justify the first one, you justify a second. Then a third. Then a sixth. And so on. I've never know an alcoholic (and I've know about a dozen hardcore ones) that this wasn't true for.

Third, One day at a Time, baby. That's the AA mantra. Don't worry about tomorrow, just worry about today. You CAN make it. Surround yourself with people who help you, not who drag you back into it.

Anyway, I really really wish you luck on this. I hate watching alcohol destroy lives, but the person themself has to WANT to change, and in your case, it sounds like you do.

I'm truly sorry Lebell. Alcohol can be bad stuff. I watch my grandparents die from alcohol. It's not a natural way to go.

Its been a month this past friday and I feel.......ok. The mental addiction is still present, but I think I'll pull through. I don't feel ready to try to have a drink. I might not ever want to again. I just don't want to be controlled by a substance. I want to be stronger then that. Thanks for all your support. :D :icare:

Good for you, kiddo, just remember - one day at a time... you're doing great so far.

Johnny, you ARE strong, and you are proving it each day that you are sober. Keep it up man, and we are here for you. I respect you for the strength it takes to say no to this shit.

You're the man, keep it up. There's nothing wrong with thinking you'll never have a drink again. For some people, it's a necessity to keep them from falling back into old habits. Just remember there's no reason to drink that shit. Once the physical withdrawals are gone, it's all in your head. You've got a good, strong mind. Help protect it by keeping it clean. A month is a great accomplishment, I hope you feel some pride in it. It's a great test of character to be able to hold back a addiction, and it's a big nod to the greatness of the character when you can recognize a problem, and stick with fixing it. Great job, man. I think I speak for everyone when I say we're really proud of you for it, and hope you keep it up.