cutters?

[cierah]

Hey. I did a search but couldn't find anything. I was wondering how many ppl here cut or used to cut? And the reasons for doing so?
Personally, I have cut once and it didn't really do anything for me. So instead I used to burn myself. I would just lite a match, blow it out and stick the hot end to my skin. I only did this for a couple of months back in highschool.
Some people think that it leads to suicide or suicide attempts but I was never suicidal I just needed the adreneline as a release from life. I have since found healthier ways of getting that adreneline (like running, and working out).
mmmm. Any thoughts?

[rhaevyn]

At the risk of getting another cheap shot taken at me by someone on the board...I cut. Trying to stop. Been doing it for 4 years. Physical pain is often easier to handle than mental pain.

[Redlemon]

Originally Posted by cierah

Hey. I did a search but couldn't find anything.

There have been a couple here that I remember, but last time I went to look for one, it seemed to be gone. I have a feeling that this is a topic that the Moderators are not comfortable with. (I'm not a cutter, nor have I known anyone to be one, so I have nothing else to add to this thread.)

[Bill O'Rights]

Originally Posted by Redlemon

I have a feeling that this is a topic that the Moderators are not comfortable with.

There are a lot of topics that I am not comfortable with. That doesn't stop me from discussing them. Personally...I have never understood the concept of "cutting". This, I don't believe, was common practice for those growing up in my generation. That, or it was well hidden. Or...I really am that naive. But now, I seem to hear a lot more about it. Is it something that's just now coming into the open? Or is it more prevelent now?

Originally Posted by rhaevyn

At the risk of getting another cheap shot taken at me by someone on the board...

I'm not aware of the incident that you are refering to, so I'll just say that if it happens...let me know, and I'll deal with it. Or, any of the moderators for that matter. We do not tolerate "cheap shots".

[Sage]

I think that everything is more out in the open in this day and age, Bill. I have never cut, and while I don't totally identify with the need to, I understand how adrenaline rushes can make you feel more alive.

Cutting is destructive. I urge ANYONE who is doing it to go get counseling to find ways to save their skin (literally) while dealing with the deeper psychological issues in a healthy way.

[stevie667]

I did it, and still do it from time to time.

I have a specific knife i use to do it, and i'll often stop myself before hand because i'll notice than instead of being tucked away, it's sitting by my bed or on my desk. However, saying that, there are times when i feel that the only way to rid myself of my mental burdens is to cut, and it does make me feel relieved, if only for a short time.

Cutting has always been around when i've grown up. My friends do it, i do it, people all around me do it. It seems to be a somewhat self imposed right of passage. Suicide attempts and cutting are what most people round here have done before they reach adulthood, and for some reason it's easy to spot the people who havn't because they seem happier, less burdened.

I'm not sure how to describe cutting, you really have to have done it to understand how and why properly. My advice to people that havn't, don't. Self harm is a very very slippery slope in my opinion.


Edit: Been very very bad, done some silly things recently. Don't do it ya'lls!

[cellophanedeity]

One of my old friends used to cut. She said that it helped her release her mental pain, but I only saw evidence of that increasing as well.

I've never cut myself intentionally, so I don't quite understand. I was wondering if it's anything like the rush of being hit/whipped or anything like that during sex play.

For those of you who don't mind links, this is an interesting one to do with the topic. http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind...h/cutting.html It gives a basic history and some possible reasons, and also gives advice on how to begin to stop cutting, if it's become a habit.

[Siege]

i know someone who is/was a cutter.. haven't talked to her for a while.. but she did tell me that she started cutting after her and her bf broke up...primarily to make him feel sorry for her and try to get back together maybe??


the things people do for love...

[EULA]

When my sister was bipolar, she cut herself often. This is a lot more common than people would think.

[Squishor]

I cut myself for a while when I was a teenager. That was a long time ago and I thought nobody else did the same thing. My reasons were semi-suicidal and also along the lines of trying to figure out if I was actually alive. I had a few mental problems back then but I'm much better now.

[la petite moi]

While I was having eating issues, I ended up cutting myself nearly everyday from depression. It was mostly a cry for attention, which my parents did not respond to. Like the stereotype, I was an excellent student who was pushed to do more and more by my parents. My grades were never enough for them. I ended up losing around 25 pounds, and was a 95 pound 5'3" freak who cut so much that I would have to wear long sleeve shirts and a big sweater over that in order to cover things up.

The final straw came right before my parents were going to send me to France- at the time, I didn't appreciate the expenses as much as I should have. Two weeks before, my mom wanted me to try on some dress or something she had bought me from the Goodwill. I refused (on the grounds that my arm was hamburger meat, pretty much), but she grabbed me and then took one look at my arm. She gave me an ultimatum: quit cutting completely and go to France, or see a psychologist for the summer. Of course, I said I would quit.

While in France, I found whatever I could to cut when I could. My eating disorder raged uncontrolled- in one house, I would eat everything and then throw it up. The the other house, I would eat more than I should and then feel sick and guilty, but not throw up. In another house, I wouldn't eat, period. And all the while, I was becoming more and more depressed. I tried everything- nails, splinters, pens, and finally I pulled the tiny blade from my shaving razor.

When I got home, my eating disorder continued, but it was quieter- I only ate for my parents and in small amounts, and then I would go and exercise for two hours. This is how my cutting was- in small amounts and hidden under my breasts and on my upper arms.

I had ruined three of my relationships this way. And that's how I started off when I was dating nwlinkvxd. He hadn't noticed it as much, but after I told him about things, he started caring a lot more. I had issues eating in front of him and his family.

After two years with him though, I am a normal 115-120 pound girl, who rarely cuts (only when extremely depressed, and that's not often). I have gotten over my issues.

So yeah, I used to be a cutter.

[anti fishstick]

the only thing i'm uncomfortable with is cutting sites/groups that seem to *encourage* cutting? there's also things like that for anorexia where they claim anorexia is not a disease, it's a way of life...

that's just wrong.

[cierah]

Originally Posted by anti fishstick

the only thing i'm uncomfortable with is cutting sites/groups that seem to *encourage* cutting? there's also things like that for anorexia where they claim anorexia is not a disease, it's a way of life...

that's just wrong.

I don't entirely agree with this for in my experience burning prevented a lot of other potentially worse choices on my part - like suicide. And ppl do live with cutting as a way of life. It's part of who a lot of ppl are. I don't think it's something that can be 'encouraged' in an individual. Either it works for the individual or it doesn't and if it doesn't than no amount of encouragement can force that individual to cut consistently. Although I do agree that there are other more constructive avenues to encourage ppl to go down than cutting.

[rhaevyn]

Originally Posted by anti fishstick

the only thing i'm uncomfortable with is cutting sites/groups that seem to *encourage* cutting?

A lot of people who cut aren't suicidal; many see it as a form of self-expression, much like body modification: tattoos, piercings, etc.

[MsNobody]

I am 43, I used to cut myself when I was about 12 or 13. It was a release for me, it felt good, I was fascinated my the feel and the sight of it. I didn't have an eating disorder, I wasn't beaten...as a matter of fact I was and still am a very happy person. I am not bi-polar, nor do I suffer from any mental illness and never have. (though some people think I am a little strange) I don't have issues with my mother and I don't hate my father, we were not poor, we were upper middle class, I had a two best friends and about 14 friends.
It was not something I did all the time, actually there wasn't any "routine", I just did it when I felt like it. It was such an unimportant part of my life, I'd forgotten all about it until at a luncheon, I overheard some women talking and one of them said something about cutting and I remembered I used to do it. I still thought nothing of it. I called my sister one day and asked her if she remembered me doing it, she said, "yes, we would hide all the razor blades so you couldn't find them", now that surprised me, I really did not think anyone knew what I had been doing. I talked to some of my friends and this is even more surprising, out of the 11 people I talked to 9 were cutters, and none of us knew about the other.
I had never talked to anyone, not my family, my friends, not even my husband. I thought it was "just something I did", I outgrew it, or I should say I stopped doing it and hadn't even thought about it for years. Then cutting became a very important issue in my life - I realized my 12 year old daughter was a cutter.
Now it was no longer "something that I did", it was no longer "just a release for me", now it was something that I no longer had the control of, but I was damn sure going to make it stop.
My daughter will be 23 on Sunday, Mother's Day, she hasn't been a cutter for years, it took alot of encouragement, alot of patience, most definitely alot of love, a heck of alot of courage on her part - but it also took alot of soul searching for me to try and figure out why. I never did find the answer to my cutting, with all the therapy and talks and groups that my daughter and I attended, we never came to one reason for my daughters cutting as well.
I feel this is something that needs to be looked into a whole lot more. It is a problem, mostly because it is easily kept a secret, even from parents and there are thousands of people that do it, regularly - from every generation. There is not enough that is known about why, and maybe there never will be. But I think they need to make people more aware of it - there are people that have not even heard of it, which doesn't surprise me, but it does scare me.

[hrandani]

Typically when things are going really bad, whether high stress or just profound changes leading towards depression; I feel the need to be aggressive and to feel pain to release physiologically some of my psychological shitstorm, and I often physically feel the need to cut myself at that point, usually at the bottom of the thighs. It's fairly urgent, but I never have though.

I would never ever hurt another person, especially one I care about, so it would bother me if I crossed the line and hurt myself, because I would be afraid of hurting another person unintentionally.

I have thought seriously previously about suicide, as far as that goes.

[MsNobody]

Originally Posted by rhaevyn

At the risk of getting another cheap shot taken at me by someone on the board...I cut. Trying to stop. Been doing it for 4 years. Physical pain is often easier to handle than mental pain.

You can stop, you must believe that you can and will stop. It isn't easy and it takes time, but it can happen. Is there anyone you can share your feelings about cutting with? Someone you trust? They don't have to have any experience with cutting, they only have to listen and be there for you, someone who will not hold it against you or pass judgement.
I am not an expert on this subject, but I know that talking with someone helps. If it is no longer a secret, then it must be a "real" situation...that needs a solution, also you are no longer alone with your cutting.
Thats why I feel these forums can be so much more than just a place for idle chat, I don't expect them to become a home for everyone's problems, but they can, and do reach so many people, that otherwise may not have the chance to communicate with a large group of people. They can remain virtually anonymous and people are apt to discuss much more private issues, when they know they won't be made a fool of.

rhaevyn, if you don't have anyone you feel you can talk to about this, I have been known to have a very good ear for listening. Just wanted you know that someone will listen, if you need to talk.

[martinguerre]

last cut, at least intentional 'cause i'm a klutz, was about 4 years ago. i consider it the yardstick of my recovery from depression....i may have bad nights, i may have thoughts that scare me, but if i can keep the sharp stuff away from my arms...i haven't lost the fight yet.

i really did love the adrenaline, and it is "effective" as a short term response to the pain of depression or anxiety. it's just something i've decided is too close to self-destruction to tolerate as part of my life. i'm still proud of my scars in a way...they remind me of what i've gotten myself through.

[RoboBlaster]

Originally Posted by cierah

I don't entirely agree with this for in my experience burning prevented a lot of other potentially worse choices on my part - like suicide. And ppl do live with cutting as a way of life. It's part of who a lot of ppl are. I don't think it's something that can be 'encouraged' in an individual. Either it works for the individual or it doesn't and if it doesn't than no amount of encouragement can force that individual to cut consistently. Although I do agree that there are other more constructive avenues to encourage ppl to go down than cutting.

You're right, there are more constructive avenues. While cutting may allow people to "deal" with things, it certainly isn't adaptive. It is a form of escapism, which in and of itself isn't so bad. Escapism can be a healthy psychological defense. However, cutting (or burning or mutilation or eating disorders) is a dangerous and harmful compulsion and it does not resolve anything.

A way to visualize cutting behaviors is to think of a pressure cooker. A pressure cooker builds up pressure steadily over time. Eventually, things get so hot and pressured that release is needed. With cutters, what usually happens is that they keep inside emotions like anger and pain. By keeping them inside and not dealing with them, there is a lot of pressure as a result. A way to release these pent up emotions is to cut. Persons with Borderline Personality Disorder often do this as a way to just feel something.

I have dealt as a therapist (I'm a clinical psychology graduate student) with cases of cutting in (usually) girls as young as 13, though there are many cases with people younger than that. It is ugly to see and even though it is a way to deal with problems, none of these girls are happy, and they often feel out of control.

[zombie_sympathi]

I used to cut myself from the age of around 14 to 18. I have stopped, but it was a big part of my life for a while. I never did it in order to kill myself; in fact, I always avoided areas of my body which I felt would be more easy to have "accidents" on -- like my wrists. But now I have a lot of scars all over my arms, including some huge ones on my upper left arm. It took me years before I had the courage to wear t-shirts, and even now I won't wear them in front of my family. I still struggle with the urge to do it, but I have a very supportive SO who has been throught the same thing, so it's not too much of a hassle for me.