Would you remind your spouse/SO?
 

My birthday falls the day before Mother's day this year. I really want my spouse to remember both days on his own. I did order my own birthday present because he told me to. As far as I know he has not gotten cards or a Mother's Day present for me. I know it is not about the gift itself, it is the thought that counts. What I am worried about is that the thought is not there. I cannot tell you how many times he says "OH I forgot" if I don't remind him to do something.

Would you remind your spouse/SO that your birthday and Mother's Day is coming? Or wait to see if they will remember on their own? I think it would be more meaningful if he remembered on his own, but how depressing if he does not.

Forgetting Mother's day is unforgivable. Not because the day is sacred or anything, but because unless you live in a cave, with you fingers in your ears...you can't help but be reminded of it 100 times a day. Birthdays as they are not marketed as heavily can more easily be forgotten. So my point is, even if you do remind him of Mother's day, if he didn't get the hint the first 1000 times he was reminded via the general media, your reminder won't resonate either.

I'm a pretty forgetful guy, things don't get done by me in all kinds of ways, but I usually do pretty good in remembering birthdays.

One thing to consider regarding birthday reminders.... he may have planned a surprise and your reminding him of the upcoming date might ruin his plans...its happened to me :(

He doesn't need to worry about you on Mother's Day as you are not his Mother (and if you are.... eeewwww).

I'd just be concerned that he remembers you on your birthday. If he does get you something for being the Mother of his children... that is just a bonus (IMO).

And regardless I wouldn't remind him... I would just wait. And if he screws up! You have a whole year to lord it over him and make him feel guilty. :lol:

I wouldn't remind him. He, being your husband should know these things (yes I know us males forget but seriously...c'mon it's her birthday and they're MARRIED) and if he doesn't you have every right to hang it over his head as charlatan said. :)

I don't think I would tell him now since it's only a few days away, but I would if there were more time. Now, I'd just think he was doing something cause I reminded him, and that feels worse to me.
Have you tried talking to him and trying to explain that it's important to you emotionally? Perhaps if you say that when he forgets special days, it makes you feel hurt and underappreciated, he might understand better. No one is going to like hearing "you never remember my birthday!!!" even if it's true. I have known other men who just plain don't get it, and they do need the education. My brother-in-law grew up in a house where they didn't bother wrapping presents, or remembering holidays hardly at all, so when he married my sister (from a family where we DO), they both had a lot of adjusting to do. Now he remembers, he comes up with ideas on his own, and even wraps them - even if he goes shopping the night before, it's his thing. Perhaps with some honest discussion of your feelings, your husband can also learn - once he figures out it's about how it makes you feel, not about criticizing him.

I wish you luck - that's a tough one.

I agree with Charl wrt to Moms day. Do you have kids? (obviously you do, or this wouldn't be an issue) depending on their age, he may have to assist them with getting their cards/gifts together. For example, drawing or buying a card, putting their allowance together to get a gift.

But I would not personally expect my spouse to get me a mother's day card... from him. I really despise the way these occasions start tospread and get out of control. so I hold to the straight and narrow: I get my mother a mother's day card. he gets his mother one. he does not get one for me (especially since we have no kids!! but in the future i hope not too).

We sign each other's cards to our respective moms too, just to be inclusive.

My kids are young. 2 and 8. I just want him to take them to get cards on his own. That is what I meant, I just didn't word it right. I just spoke with my mother-in-law (she is the kind of person I can talk to about anything, even her own son!) She agrees that I should not say anything. I would hope after 13 years of being together, 11 of them married, that he will remember. If not, I will tell him how it made me feel.

I think he will do it. I mean, when the 8 yo comes home from school tomorrow with a mother's day art project, he'll at least clue in.

I'd say don't remind him but then again, everytime I think someone is going to let me down, they usually do. I wouldn't expect anything for mother's day although it would be a nice gesture. Your birthday, he should remember.

You could spare yourself the disappointment and just tell him. Then you can just assume that he would have remembered anyway.

I agree with everything Jess said here... I'm sure he would like to do something for you if he knew how important it was to you. And yes, most men SHOULD know this, but many of them don't receive the same behavioral training that women do in terms of remembering special occasions, so we have to tell them somehow. And there are some women who really just don't give a flip about stuff like this, either (I'm not one of those), which is fine too.

As everyone else has said, I wouldn't bring it up now either... it's too soon... but maybe after Mother's Day, when he hasn't gotten you anything (which I can almost guarantee will happen, given what you've said), be clear about how it made you feel without criticizing him directly. The classic I-feel statements work great for this... "I feel neglected and that you don't think about doing something special with me on special holidays, and I really just need you to do those things for me to feel loved at those times." Something like that. I mean, he may still choose to be passive on holidays, but you can't control that. Your job is to at least communicate your feelings/expectations so that he is aware of them, and you can both go from there.

If your mother-in-law knows her son well enough, she will take some time to call him and remind him.

It's what I would do if it was my son.

I'm going to take the opposite opinion...

Your birthday is important to you... you want him to remember.. you will be annoyed/hurt/insert the adjective if he doesn't remember... You might even decide to guilt him if he doesn't remember or punish him in some way...

That's way too much freakin effort... if you expect something TELL HIM...

Begin rant
THis is one of those ongoing man/woman battles that drives me absolutely insane.. I know sooo many women who do this... MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.. They are distracted by shiney objects and boobies.. they cant be expected to know what is on your mind and act accordingly unless you tell them. (and I say that will a great deal of affection, I love those lovable lunks) Unless you say it, and tell him, how is he going to know it's important.

Special occassions are just not a big deal to m e, I've had my birthday forgotten more times than remembered, it's the every day stuff that what matters... If I wanted something done for my birthday, I'd ask... and subtle hints dont work... Men don't get hints...

I state affirmitively to Skogafoss if you have a date you need or want me to remember, you must tell me in advance so that I do make sure to remember it, like anniversaries dating and wedding. Wedding anniversary is easy since we picked 02.02.02. Her birthday however I forget the exact date all the time but I know it's usually on a holiday weekend :)

Good points Mal. Which would make me feel worse? Him forgetting or him getting me things because I reminded him? I do believe him forgetting will be the worser of two evils. I am trying to repair my marriage, not do things to make it worse. I just asked him if he was planning on taking the kids to the store this week. Let's see what he says.

He says he was planning on taking the kids this friday for cards. Big sigh of relief. I am actually glad I asked him.

I agree with Mal in that women expect too much when they should simply just tell me what they want... My wife and I have a strong relationship because we both don't let things fester.

That said, forgetting a birthday is inexcusable. He should not need to be reminded about your birthday or your anniversary. You may want to impress upon him how important these dates are to you but I would never remind him that the date is approaching (at this late a date it is too late to do anything but remind him if you bring it up at all).


Personally, I don't forget dates like this... I took my kids out last weekend so they could buy gifts for my wife... we then made cards together. Birthdays and anniversaries are essential to remember if you want to ever be distracted by the shiny objects and boobies to which Mal so rightly draws our attention.

Atta girl... :) :thumbsup:

:lol: This really made me laugh... shiny objects and boobies, I'm going to have to remember that one.

Nice one, Charlatan... you'll definitely be getting some boobies this weekend. :D

Ok, I have a BIG problem with this...Cause it sounds like a test. Which is stupid and immature. If you want him to remember your birthday, then remind him. If you don't care, then don't. Don't make it into a "well, if he CARED about me, he'd remember it all by himself!" Cause I seriously doubt there's a correlation between his level of affection and his ability to remember a string of (basically arbitrary) numbers.
I never remember my dad's birthday, but I still love him and respect him and thinks he's the best dad in the entire world. I'm terrible about dates for shit...that's what calendars are for. They tell me when all the important stuff happens (like days where we get to eat lots of food). Also, as pointed out, the media helps a lot for those other shopping holidays like mother's day and father's day.
My mom on the other hand can remember the birthdate of her first dog (ok, slight exageration). Doesn't mean she loves the dog more than I love my dad.
The best way to measure someone's affection/love/whatever for you would be to ask them. Don't wait for them to take the initiative, cause they may be waiting for you...

so, basically, I agree with Mal...:p

Thank you. You are right. It would have been like a test. and that is wrong, after all these years. I am really glad I was able to post this here. You have all helped me to see many sides of the same coin. I should just stop letting it bother me that he needs reminders every now and again. I am still learning that I have to change me and not try to change him. I feel so much better since I asked him about it. He didn't seem to mind that I asked either.

One can only hope...

Its not like he has to memorize the declaration of independance.....I find no excuse for a S/O (especially if you've been together a long time) to NOT remember your birthday.

Of course, because it's so important to ensure the continued profitability of Hallmark and the bullshit card industry by observing officially-approved arbitrary dates for the celebration of meaningless and inane life milestones.

I agree with lindseylatch, but I want to emphasize the flipside; even if he remembers it doesn't mean that he cares. Anyone who chooses to include the word 'widow' in her username clearly has some concerns about whether or not she is loved. Whether or not he remembers Mother's day won't answer that question.

About Mother's Day- truly, he should be honouring HIS mother, and if you have children, encouraging your son/daughter to draw a little picture or something for you.

About your birthday- he should know if you're married. If he forgets, you should smack him over the head.

I'm the one who forgets birthdays. It's not that I don't know the dates, but I don't pay attention to when they pop up.
I'm always reminded that I am not his mother, so from him, I don't get Mother's Day things-that's fine, although if I see something he might want or need, I use Father's Day as a reason to get it.
I see your point-to get some recognition for all you are and all you do and to not have to bring it up. Glad you at least asked. Stewing over something that may not come to pass never comes to good.

Zing!

Seriously. I think it's complete bullshit that people get so worked up about these occasions. My birthday has been forgotten every year for the past 7 years, and you don't see me giving a shit. What I do care more about than if my girlfriend remembers one 'special day' that's completely arbitrary is that she makes every day I see her special. I try to do the same, but at the same time I'm a hippie dippy nerd who doesn't wear a watch, much less know what year/month it is half the time. I'm absentminded and I can get caught up for days in computer games, books, or obscure philosophies. You can't buy an 'affection, love, and understanding for life' +10 card at the grocery store, ShaniFaye. (Might be at your local Dragons Lair Comics though) I would be seriously pissed if I found out she wasted money or time for some overpriced, thoughtless card or cake. The same thing for weddings, people spend so much money on them because it's narcissicistic indulgence on how important they are. God I hate that.

You can't buy the things that matter in life, so why try? The simple fact is people who deep down don't care, the people who are cheating on their SO's, or just want a quick piece of ass, will take the extra care to buy you flowers and cards and shit on your birthday. It's meaningless if the love isn't behind the act, and I'd rather have the love than the act. I don't understand this obsessiveness with signs and gestures, it's all fucking smoke and mirrors and behavioralist training.

Jesus.

Everyone has a right to their own opinion.

Who said anything about 'buying'? Her children made her cards, which, to me, are even more worthwhile than something from a store. I make all my cards, and made some Christmas gifts as well.
Presenting something tangible that comes from the heart is what's being discussed-not cutting into one's budget.
As for weddings, while they do tend to get out of control, you do yours your way, some will do it their way-as long as it's to share the occasion of two souls joined-no one said you had to attend, participate or give a shit.
At some point in time, the girlfriend is going to wonder, when is he going to show his love,ie: give something because you want her to have a tangible reminder.

As Sportswidow said, everyone is entitled to their opinion. You are entitled to yours. You and your girlfriend might have an arrangement where she doesn't expect anything out of the ordinary. You are both on the same page there. Not all people feel that way, some people want to be made to feel special on their birthday, it's not for you, nor me, nor anyone else to tell them that is wrong.

It turns into a big problem when both people are not on the same page.

Remind us. Often times, especially in the case of memory, we have the mental agility of a soap dish.

A few things here....

1. guys can't remember shit
2. what was I saying? Oh, yeah, guys can't remember shit
3. I didn't marry my mother and I only give my mother stuff on mother's day (gave her a copy of The Runaway Bunny this year)
4. we began letting birthdays slide several years ago....who wants to be reminded that they are getting older

I give my wife things for other reasons on other days because then it is a surprise. And we usually go out and buy what we want anyway. What's the use of giving someone a list of things you want and then guessing which one they'll get you. As for Hallmark, that's another story!!

My husband does not get me things on other days, he hardly ever surprises me with anything. Maybe that is why my birthday is important to me. But he did not forget. so far my day is really nice. He had to work this morning and emailed me a card, I thought that was out-of-character and really sweet. I do not expect him to get me things for Mother's Day, I am not his mother, but my children are young and need his help if they want to get me things, which they always do. He took them out last night to the store. I can't wait to see what they got me.

It was very interesting to hear from both men and women regarding this. I truly appreciate all of your replies and opinions. It helped me figure out what was more important to me, and now my weekend is a good one, not filled with anger or doubt.

Birthdays were important way before Hallmark.....Im really getting miffed with the people that say bdays are not important...that they are just another day. I bet you people that say "guys cant remember crap" dont forget your own birthday.

I guess Im lucky, Dave never forgets an important date. I will reiterate what I said earlier.....if you are an adult, there is no reason to not remember the birthday of a loved one.

I'm a guy with a sense of humor and the ability to laugh at myself but I don't think it's too fair to joke about how guys can't remember anything, and that we're stupid and all 'Sports and beer and nothing more complicated that the comics.' I don't forget people's birthdays, I don't know any guys who don't remember their loved ones' birthdays or anniversaries either. Every guy I know is happy to celebrate an anniversary (as long as it's not a one-month thing) and is just as active in the celebrations and planning as their girlfriends. Guys don't forget important things, people do.

Sportswidow - you said that as far as you know he didn't get a card or a gift. Is he supposed to say, a few days beforehand, 'Oh by the way, I got your card and gift today'? Shouldn't it be a surprise? I'm sure you know by now whether he got you one, and if he forgot then I'd say he's an exception.

Not all guys are like the husband from Married With Children.

Rlyss, you are right. It should be a surprise. I love surprises. For the almost 14 years that I have known my husband, I can count on one hand how many times he has surprised me. He always tells me when he is taking the kids shopping, no surprising. That is just the way he is. I guess I was worried about this year because of some stuff that he and I went through this past year. I do not think all men forget, and I am sure there are some women who forget as well. I should have known better that he would not forget. I never meant for this to be a men vs women topic. I apologize.

So that means all the times that my birthday had been forgotten it means that no one loves me? While it's entirely possible, I think there's one or two people in the world that probably do like me. Birthdays just don't matter, it's another day on the calendar. EVERYDAY is what's important, not one silly day of the year where you get to wear a stupid hat and blow out candles.

I forgot my brother's birthday this year, I do love him, he's about the only family member I can tolerate. It just slipped my mind, I have more important things to remember than birthdays.

I do my best to remember other people's birthdays... but the calendar gets away from me... and quite frankly, i do enough for people during the course of the year that if I happen to let it slip, they need to get over themselves.

Mal, let me clarify...... Im talking about husbands, wives or S/O's.

For me... doesn't make a difference -- it's still just a day.. .It's the everyday stuff that does matter... If my birthday was forgotten, I'm surely not going to be upset - I've forgotten my own birthday -and now have had entirely too many, I don't want to be reminded of them.

If the day is important to a person, then they should be expected to say something... if they don't say something... they have no right to be annoyed when the behavior that they expect doesn't happen. (Men may not be stupid but they surely can't read minds)

Well to me it does make a difference.....my birthday is the one day a year I want Dave to remember, vday doesnt mean crap to me, Im not his mother so to me mothers day isnt important as far as he's concerned. And I dont even mean planning anything all that special, Im happy with him just telling me happy birthday.

But, I did make sure he was aware that I think birthdays are important, I need not have worried though....once he knows a persons bday....he never forgets it.

Sorry sportswidow, I wasn't saying that you were turning it into a men vs. women debate at all. My comment was more about how it seems ok these days to joke about male simplicity (but you didn't do that at all). Like I said, I know how to laugh at myself and can make jokes about men and all that, but sometimes I feel like there's some trend to make fun of men in an effort to somehow negate the injustice towards women in the pas. I might just be reading too much into it though.

On topic though, I wouldn't remind someone outright. If there was an anniversary coming up I'd speak to my partner about how we'd celebrate together. If she forgot then she'd know after that. If my partner did forget I wouldn't take it to heart - if she shows me love in so many ways throughout the rest of the year, failing to do it in a particular way on a particular day isn't going to make me think twice about how she really feels. Like a few others have said, showing it on that one day only would make me worry more than showing it on all others except for that day.

And besides, isn't this what calendars are for? I haven't got a calendar now because I have no dates to memorise at the moment, but important dates have always gone straight in the calendar on my wall.

For the past three years, my response to the first "Happy Birthday" of the day was to look around, wonder who they were talking to, and slowly remember that it was mine. Four years ago, I remembered, but the year before that I had also forgotten. I will gladly explain this to anyone who is offended that I forgot their birthday.

I can't tell you the last time I looked forward to my birthday... actually, I get rather peeved when people expect me to be excited and happy on my birthday. What for, it is just another day to me, nothing changes!

That being said, I think it's great when I see others enjoying their day. Good on them, they have decided that it's their day and celebrate it. I think I prefer to do that when I want to though, not just because it's 'that day'.

There, darlin', you are absolutely wrong. I told people I was 16 for nearly three months after my birthday just because I didn't realize it'd passed that year. :lol:

I tend to add from the year I was born to remember my age!
After-Mothers Day addendum: Kids forgot. Luckily, their church was selling plants so they got one for me. To all those who were pampered, honored, etc...I'm envious!!!

Contrary to the popular stereotype, I (male) am the one that usually remembers "important" dates such as birthdays, mother's day, etc. whereas my girlfriend has yet to remember the exact date of my birthday until the day of, I think. But I say "important" in quotes because I really could care less about such arbitrary days of the year. I usually make mention of them and put something simple together in lieu of supporting the diabolical gift card industry.

Holidays have just never been that big of a deal to me. For the sake of not hurting the feelings of other's who do care about them, I try to at least send a card, or call and wish a Happy Birthday/Mother's Day/etc. However, if people don't acknowledge mine, I'm not bothered in the least. I just think the idea of needing one specific day to do something thoughtful for another person is silly. We should all do things for each other everyday simply because we care enough about the person to do so, not because a date on a calendar says so.

:thumbsup:
That's why I'm dating her :)

Well...at least one of the reasons ;)

After we got married I WAITED for him to remember for several years. Then I decided to remind him. He still didn't know what to get so - nada. Then I told him WHAT I wanted for my B-day - nothing. For Christmas with the family I got him something one year and he didn't want to open it because he hadn't gotten me something and it would look bad. So the next year I bought him something, got myself something, wrapped them both, and then at the family gathering I unwrapped the present for myself that he had YET to see. The family still doesn't know. :( So now - I just buy myself something and tell him that I'm considering it my gift from him.

I know he hates shopping for stuff and doesn't always know what to get but when I spell it out for him can it be that bad?? I mean the last time I said I wanted something I showed him a picture of it in a flyer so there was no question where and what and it was cheap - I think less than $5.

He's taken me out for dinner but I was still instramental in lining up the sitter and it was a co-operative effort even then. Surprise me at least once.

For now - I think I'm not gonna ask anymore. I'll just get it myself.

I would absolutely be upset about a situation like that <.
What's so hard about remembering to at least say "happy birthday, i'm glad you were born?" What's so difficult about saying "Happy Mother's Day" or "Merry Christmas"?

Do you remember what day to take out the trash? The due dates for work projects? You can remember that some days, a little "i'm thinking of you" comment is appreciated.
I agree that every day, a person should feel appreciated and not just on Hallmark Holidays. But if they can't even do it on those particular holidays, what makes you think they're going to do it at any other time?

The argument about work dates is quite reasonable.

I put all of my significant dates onto my Outlook diary - if you use Hotmail you can use the calendar function on that - MSN will send you an email at some pre-defined time before hand.

Problem solved. :D

I think its messed up that people are expected to do certain things on certain days.

Why would you want someone to tell you they love you just because they're supposed to, or because if they don't you'll get mad?

I understand that people who want to hear special things on birthdays will probably respond that you don't want them to do it because they're supposed to, you want them to do it because they want to. Well guess what, sometimes the pressure to do something on a birthday is just stifling!

And honestly, if your significant others NEVER do anything nice for you, especially on your birthday, maybe you should look into getting a new significant other. Because that's just not how relationships oughta be.

It absolutely bothers me when my birthday is not remembered by my SO. I do not fail to acknowledge theirs because I do believe it's a special day. It really is as simple as plugging it into your calendar whether electronic with e-mail capabilities or simple paper. I feel the same about wedding/commitment anniversaries. Most holidays don't carry as much importance, but I'm a real stickler for appreciating birthdays and anniversaries. I don't allow the date to go by without a nice, polite reminder if my SO's forgotten, but I also don't hold a grudge and get myself worked up over it for days past.

Anyway. I don't see a problem in reminding someone. Especially if there are going to be hurt feelings later if the date's been forgotten. An ounce of prevention... ;)

Hope your birthday and mothers day turned out for the best. :)

Wow. I can't believe that. I bet he doesn't forget what day is race day though. Or what day, you are planning on attending that latest swingers party.

Forgetting once in a while is excusable, but to make no effort to even get a Christmas present is just... wrong.

If nothing else I see these days (or any day I do something nice for my wife) as an opportunity to let her know that I love her and appreciate all that she does for me.

touche....

I read a really neat book a couple years ago that my wife and I had some fun with. It is called "If These Walls Could Talk" and it is a collection of 25 stories about couples. I copied this off a review somewhere online:

Chasey and I read the book and had some interesting discussions afterwards. I think we were driving somewhere like Yosimite and so we had the time to do it and no distractions like TV etc at the time. You can find the book on Amazon used for $7 bucks. All the stories are different and deal with different things. You can ease into it with stories that don't apply to you two and then switch over to ones that hit closer to home.

Here it is on Amazon
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...593410-0135304

This... is... unexcuseable. Raeanna, has he seen this thread? Have you told him how his neglect of special days makes you feel? I know some people think special days of any kind, especially Christmas and whatnot, is bullshit... but I am not one of those people, and if I were you I would feel very hurt. I don't think you should enable him to continue forgetting you on the days you would like to be remembered... and also, the fact that you had to organize everything just so he could take YOU out to dinner... that's just very bad form. You should not be required to help HIM show you that he loves you. That should be a no-brainer for him... assuming he knows how you feel about this.

As we've gone over many times in various threads, love is not always about loving someone the way that's easiest for you, but honoring them in ways that makes them feel most loved, in whichever way they receive love best. To me, it means paying attention to what makes the other person feel really good... whether that's emotionally, physically, verbally, with gifts, time, etc. Whatever it takes to show them that you don't take them for granted.

I always make an effort to do something special for my wifes birthday because it is important to her. I blow off my own because I couldn't care less. For some reason that ticks her off as much as forgetting hers. Gifts are tough around our house. She works, I work, we both make reasonable salaries. What do you get someone that can and will get anything they really want? Add in the fact that we prefer our own cooking to going out and it's a regular dilemma.

Dunno if hubby's read this thread yet. (though I'm hoping he does.) He does know how I feel about it and apologizes about things. Apologies don't really cut it. He's great at expressing his affection other times. The effort to give gifts seems to be beyond him at this time.

It's not a matter of - they'll get it for themself if they really want it. I don't care what you get just get me a dark chocolate bar, a single rose, something that I don't NORMALLY get because it's a splurge. Everyone has those things. At the very least take me out for a special deluxe cappucino and just look me in the eye for 30 min. It doesn't have to be a filet mignon dinner cooked at home. It doesn't have to be a diamond necklace. It DOES have to be an acknowledgement that you THOUGHT about me and went beyond your own little mind to DO something for me. The kind of gift or card isn't what matters as the EFFORT that you put forth on my behalf.

When we were first going out I let Moobie know how important remembering things like my birthday was to me. I told him the kinds of things I liked (like receiving flowers) and let him know that I liked being surprised by special things.

Basically I let him know that I needed to be spoiled by him.

It worked. :thumbsup:

For my wife... sometimes it is just the fact that I drag my ass out of bed at 6 am on a Saturday morning to make her a cup of tea so she has something to drink on the drive to the stable... Believe me, I would *much* rather stay in bed but I know she appreciates it eventhough she doesn't ask for it...

Raeanna, as you say, it is all in the little things.

You are so right.

Communication is the key.

Communication is the key... however there is a big difference between letting people know what you want and having to nag them to get it...

I think this is crucial here... communicating this to your hubby. And I don't think anyone would argue with you about how important it is for people in a relationship to constantly do these things for each other, because otherwise one (or both) people get lazy and stop doing these things, and the personal connection sours bit by bit.

That's why you put it out there in the beginning as a need. If you're in a relationship, and not getting needs met, that's a pretty good indicator that that relationship might not be working...

And sometimes people need to be reminded. It's up to the individual to decide. ;)

that is correct.

Just because it's unacceptable to some, and reanna laments that she wishes it may be different, she may find it acceptable in light of all the OTHER things that could be there.

In other words, she may not be focusing on the flaws, but on the best parts.

No one and no relationship is 100% perfect.

"Since I was born, one rock has spun around another, even bigger rock, 32 times. Please buy me something?!?"

I'm not making fun of anyone. It just that, when you put it in those terms, it DOES seem a little silly.

Its not as silly for all the people waiting for that rock to have spun around enuff times to get their drivers lisense, join the military, get married, be able to drink legally, have your car insurance go down or be able to get the senior citizens discounts at the grocery stores.

Edit: nevermind.

The thing is, we don't put it that way in our society...

We do make a point of marking annual events whether they are religious holidays (Christmas, Ramadan, Easter, etc.), seasonal events (Summer Solstice, Thanksgiving, etc.), or personal (birthdays, weddings anniversaries, etc.).

We do this for the meaning it provides us not just because one rock makes a complete revolution around a star every 365.25 days...