maybe? oops - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

mistajon · 05-19-2005, 02:24 AM

Hi all,

I was invited to a colleague's party a week ago, today I was asked was I coming (Her party will be on the w/end) and I said "maybe". She reacted by saying "Oh... you don't have to come... If you can come you can come.." I felt guilty and said "Thanks for inviting me though!".

I would have to check my with gf whats happening on the night anyway and just felt like relaxing with my gf without going out that night. She isnt my boss just a work colleague and she is mature in her 40's whilst I'm young 20's. I'm not sure what to do! Can I recover from this, she is a nice person I just didn't really feel like going out this w/end.

Thanks for your comments!

maleficent · 05-19-2005, 02:38 AM

All you have to do is say, thanks for thinking of me, but I've got other plans for the weekend. No explanation needed.

Cartuni · 05-19-2005, 02:48 AM

Did she give out written invitations or was it just a casual invite passed vocally around the office? If there were written invitations, she may have needed some kind of count in order to prepare enough refreshments. Either way, “maybe” left her hanging. It would have been better to have said “Sorry, I’m not going to be able to make it, but thanks for inviting me” or “I have plans I couldn’t get out of, but I really appreciate the invitation”. Notice you don’t have to give a specific reason to be gracious and answer her question.

I don’t think this is going to destroy your working relationship if you continue to be nice to her, and at this point you might as well have that nice weekend with your gf. If it would make you feel less guilty, tell the woman today that you checked with your gf and she had made other plans for the two of you.

mistajon · 05-19-2005, 02:57 AM

Thanks for your nice replies.

05-19-2005, 02:24 AM	#1 (permalink)
mistajon Upright Location: Australia	maybe? oops Hi all, I was invited to a colleague's party a week ago, today I was asked was I coming (Her party will be on the w/end) and I said "maybe". She reacted by saying "Oh... you don't have to come... If you can come you can come.." I felt guilty and said "Thanks for inviting me though!". I would have to check my with gf whats happening on the night anyway and just felt like relaxing with my gf without going out that night. She isnt my boss just a work colleague and she is mature in her 40's whilst I'm young 20's. I'm not sure what to do! Can I recover from this, she is a nice person I just didn't really feel like going out this w/end. Thanks for your comments!

05-19-2005, 02:38 AM	#2 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	All you have to do is say, thanks for thinking of me, but I've got other plans for the weekend. No explanation needed. __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

05-19-2005, 02:48 AM	#3 (permalink)
Cartuni Upright	Did she give out written invitations or was it just a casual invite passed vocally around the office? If there were written invitations, she may have needed some kind of count in order to prepare enough refreshments. Either way, “maybe” left her hanging. It would have been better to have said “Sorry, I’m not going to be able to make it, but thanks for inviting me” or “I have plans I couldn’t get out of, but I really appreciate the invitation”. Notice you don’t have to give a specific reason to be gracious and answer her question. I don’t think this is going to destroy your working relationship if you continue to be nice to her, and at this point you might as well have that nice weekend with your gf. If it would make you feel less guilty, tell the woman today that you checked with your gf and she had made other plans for the two of you.

05-19-2005, 02:57 AM	#4 (permalink)
mistajon Upright Location: Australia	Thanks for your nice replies.