Friends not knowing what to do with their life...
 

I have two friends (girls) with the same problem and I have no idea how I can help them.

Both of them have quit after high school and both of them now work low end jobs (one is a waitress in a retirement home and another is a saleswoman at a bakery shop). Both of them don't know what to do with their lives but they do know that they don't want to work these low end jobs.

They would like to go to college only they have no clue what to take. And personally I feel that even IF they went to college and did something, they wouldn't last simply because they wouldn't have the 'drive'.
Are they doomed to work low wage jobs? I just want to help them because they are both 19, turning 20 this year, and if they don't start college soon, they may never have another chance like this... to study without other obligations.

I am 25 and I am just gaining perspective of what I wish to do, although it is still open and vague- I have so many passions and dreams, but I know that I can fulfill all.
Usually, people don't discover what they want to do or who they are until their mid-thirties to forties. It's okay- there's no rush. Who you are is not defined in what you do.
It also never hurts to just play around with a few interesting college courses until you may find something you truly love and endure.

I read somewhere once that the average person has around three careers in their life. What they are doing now, is not what they may end up doing.

College is honestly not for everyone. Not everyone benefits from it. And even those that do have college degrees are any furhter along in the "what am I doing with my life" saga.


I know several people that did the college thing later in life. In their 30s and beyond, and got much more out of the experience than they would have at age 19. Don't think that 21 is too late for college.


What things interest them?

There's a book I've mentioned before, I'll mention it again, because it has a lot of valuable information, and mention it again, it's worth a read- What Color is Your Parachute, I haven't seen this years volume, but prior years has had alot of helpful self assessment quizzes to determine your interests.

There's also another book, that's pretty good, I don't know what I want, but I know this isn't it.

It's nice of you to have this kind of concern for you friends. You sound like a really caring person. However, your friend's future is not within your power to direct or guide. Everybody has to learn on his or her own, and make decisions based on conclusions they come to.

You can be supportive, but don't carry the burden of your friend’s future on your shoulders. You have enough to worry about on your own. The most impossible task is to try and change someone else. It just doesn't work.

Hmm I can relate to this thread completely. I'm 19 now and been out of high school for about a year now. I didn't go to college and am working a job at a resturaunt as a prep guy and make salads and stuff for dinners (I was dish doggin for awhile though so this isn't as bad). Some days I'm happy and think I'll find something I like in life and will go back to school, other days I'm really depressed and feel like my life is going nowhere.

im in this position now, although im 18 and only been out of school once.
i know i want to take culinary arts at community college but i dont necesarily want to become a full time chef.
i want to be a pilot but im so far behind and i just need to get a job beforehand to get all that down to pay for the crazy expenses on that.
what a pickle :crazy:

As an 18-year-old who has no set plan...I say give them some time. They've only been out of high school a couple years. They have plenty of time to figure themselves out.

I was 24 before I decided I was going to be a chef. Before that I wasted thousands of dollars and countless hours on school that I had an aptitude for, but no interest in.
She's right, I've got friends with Batchelor degrees who now work dead-end jobs because they don't know what they want to do when they grow up.
Going to school doesn't automatically get you a better job and a plan for your future. Just let your friends find out what they want to do then, when they figure it out, everything gets a lot easier.

their future may not look anything like what you envision for them.

the need to do it the way that they see fit. If that's all they are interested in for themselves... then that's what fits for them. Love them anways.