What the fuck? Parents...
 

Okay, so I got a job this summer because my parents made me, and I work for my dad, because that'd be the only job that lets me go on all the vacations I already planned. I work Mondays - Wednesdays part time (10-5)

Now, during the summer, I want to hang out with my friends, but now after coming home at 12 last night, they said I have to be home by 11 on weeknights and 1 on weekend nights. What the shit is that?

I'm 18, going to college in August, and they're still fucking babying me. None of my friends put up with this bullshit....

They pay to put the roof over your head? Correct?
They pay to put food in your stomach? Correct?
They pay for the clothes on your back? Correct?
They pay for your education? Correct?
they pay for that Lexus you drive? Correct?

Their house, their rules.

The argument "all my friends are doing this" is not very effective when it comes to parents, if all your friends jumped off the empire state building, would you?

I still hear about it from my parents if I don't call in once a week, I'm 39 years old and haven't lived under their roof for 22 years. Parents are concerned, and do what they think is best for you.

Just because you are 18 doesn't mean you get all the rights 18 year olds living on their own get. At least you aren't living on your own and paying for everything. Be thankfull and mind your parents.

Ok, Skippy, this sticks in my craw, write it off to I'm old and out of touch with kids of today.. However...

You are 18 years old, and expect to be treated like an adult. However, you parents MADE you get a job, instead of your being an adult and wanting to out and get a job to start supporting yourself. Oh and that job you got? Real tough to get, I'm sure, you are working for your father.

Who's paying for "all the vacations" you have planned this summer?

You seem to have it pretty easy, being in the house at a reasonable hour so your parents don't have to worry about you seems a pretty easy trade off.

if you read some of the previous posts that I've posted on these types of subjects I sound like a broken record.

I didn't like their rules at 17. I moved out. They still paid for college, they expected certain rules to still be followed. I then started paying for my own college. I then no longer listened to their rules.

Life is hard. Be harder. We all want it easy and unfortunately I'm not going to give you that blank check that says, "ooh right they should because your friends get it." Your friends have other crosses to bear and deal with that you may not know of.

and what do I drive because i pay for all my own stuff? I want a MINI Cooper, preferably a convertible one...

what do I drive? A Neon.

I second maleficent:

Wanna make the rules? Get your own place.

Wanna be treated like an adult? Start acting like one.

i agree with everyone here.

Let me add this...

I am 20. I live with my parents because I can't afford to live elsewhere. I have free room and board, but I am expected to do chores (cleaning, chauffering sister, errands) and follow the rules my parents tell me. They let me know since I came back here that, if I don't like the rules and/or cannot obey them, they will happily point me in the direction of the door.

Just be glad that your parents haven't kicked you out yet, and still are supporting you at 18. You'll have plenty of freedom in college, so don't complain about what you have now.

Boo hoo. I wanna hang out with my friends in the summer too. Turns out hanging out and fucking around all day doesn't let you pay for shit. Working 10-5, monday allllll the way to Wed. Shit, that sounds like a real bear of a job.

Sorry for the sarcasm, maybe it's uncalled for but it doesn't sound like you've got much to complain about. Getting a real job and some experience with how the world works outside of your little padded bubble is something that would do you some good, as shitty as it sounds.

Me too, except for Xsas. :D

When you pay your own bills , in other words, take on the responsibilities of an adult, then you can say you're an adult. That means rent, utilities, food, insurance, loan payments, and credit card bills, among other things. Until then, you're only an adult from the point of view of the legal system.

Want to be an adult quickly? Join the military. Betcha that'd do it. No, I didn't do it either.

I'd give up all the commodities my parents give me (except my bed) for some freedom.

You have freedom. You have a car that takes you places. You are allowed out of the house unescorted til 11:00PM. You are going off to college.

Be careful what you ask for, you might get it. Paying for college isn't fun, paying for living expenses isn't fun. With total freedom comes responsibility. Resposibility isn't hanging out with your friends til all hours, responsibility is paying bills and putting a roof over your head.

Show your parents that you can be responsible. Help out with household expenses. Show up for work on time. Get better than good grades in school. Show them you can be trusted and negotiate changing your curfew.

Ask them if it's ok to stay out later if you call before 11 to tell them where you are and when you're coming home. My parents are ok with me... well, coming home at noon the next day as long as they know what's up and with who.

What really is important here?

It doesn't sound like autonomy really is the issue.

I had a curfew until I was 20 years old and moved out of the house. It's frustrating, I know, but like everyone else has said...their house, their rules.

I can understand where you're coming from Xsas, but it seems like you got it pretty good.

Just consider this, this fall, when you go to college, you'll be on your own, and that will be here very soon. So, I wouldn't worry to much about it. Just bite your tounge, work, and have fun while you can.

College will be different

I am just lucky my parents don't give me a curfew. I'd be screwed, I consider myself lucky though. I am in the same situation as you though, summer before college, workin, but hey, enjoy what you get. One of my friends has to be home at 11pm.

Okay. Here, give them back your life. Did you forget that one? At 18, I expect you have.

Well, here's my take on it.

I'm 25 and still living at home. But I have the downstairs "rec room" as my own.

My old man got laid off a while ago, so instead of moving out when I had the chance to, I decided to stay and help them out. I mean it was the least I could do.

Now he's gotten a job on the east coast and I make enough money now to move out, but I don't really need to. I have all the freedom I want, but I have enough respect for their house and the rules they've established to at least give a call if I'm not gonna be home so she doesn't freak out if she hears something in the house.

I have my own job, pay my rent, pay ALL my own bills, and all that stuff, and still put all the groceries in the house, and for you to complain about what kind of life you have?

They otta kick you out of the house and let you TRY and figure stuffs out on your own.

Then we'll make a call as to being treated as an adult...

Take advantage of your situation man, don't blow it.

I think we'll all agree that making the transition between "child" and "adult" requires a bit of an adjustment. Even after you've become self-supporting, getting your parents to treat you as an adult may take some effort on all your parts.

20 years from now you will see the errors in your thinking. If you are 18 you should be working FULL TIME and going to school PART TIME or school FULL TIME and work PART TIME. Adults don't get summer vacation. You lived long enough to become an adult now take the responsibility for it.

BTW- If you are going to school, how are you paying for it? How are you becoming less of a burden on your folks so that they can set themselves up for a nice retirement instead of paying for your school? They do not need to foot the bill for your school. You need to work and pay what you can.

You can take a vacation after you have completed school and created a life for yourself.

I lived at my parents until I was 24 (Except during the school year when I was at college - which by the way they didn't pay for - my grandparents had built a fund that paid for 2/3rs of it I paid the rest) . When I was 16 I started working. Full time during the summer. I started then helping out with groceries and I never quit helping with chores until I moved out. I still go over and help my mom out with basic stuff like dishes and laundry sometimes when she's been overwhelmed with stuff to do. It's just showing your parents respect and thanks for what they've done for you. It's being a responsible adult.

I have problems with some things with my parents but I still respect them and their house rules when I'm there. I see no need to expect a summer off like you may be used to. If you want no curfew because you're 18 then you need to act like you are 18, an adult, and do the work. When I wasn't attending college at 19 and I was living at home I was working 3 part time jobs because I'd had trouble finding a full time job. I saved what I could and put about $100 or so a month toward our family expenses. It's part of being in a family. Don't want the responsibility? Move out.

Then as to the curfew. What's the big deal. That's not a bad curfew. If you have to be to work the next morning, ON TIME, you need your rest to be your best. Midnight is not unreasonable. As for later in the week when you aren't working or during the weekend - your parents have responsibilities. They don't need some kid tromping through the house at any hours of the night and waking them up. They need their sleep. Besides as you get older you tend to treasure your sleep - don't screw with their sleep just because you don't value your's yet.

Once I turned 18 I started helping out with expenses for the house. I paid the property taxes completely one year. I helped with utilities and groceries regularly the rest of the time. I valued what they gave me. A place to live that wasn't expensive.

Did I mention my mom doesn't work?

Oh, and a good thing though, they say if I ever drink (which I do) they'll come and pick me up if I can't drive.

Whether your mother works or not is no concern of yours.

As for your parents coming to pick you up when you have had to much to drink (even though it's illegal for you to drink) rather than have you risk your life or the life of someone elses and do something so completely stupid as drink and drive - -you should kiss the ground that they walk on and appreciate what you have.

I think I'm just going to start breaking all their rules and not caring about their curfew. They should get the picture after they ground me a couple times and I still do it.

And if they kick me out, then I'll live with my aunt.

Oh Good grief.
Good plan. That'll really show 'em how mature you are and how ready you are to be on your own.

Why are you so opposed to following their rules? Rules exist wherever you go. When you get a job, your employer will expect certain behavior from you. Your school will expect certain behavior from you.

way to go, cut off your nose to spite your face.

you obviously don't like what people have been telling you which is to GROW UP and act RESPONSIBLY.

of course if you think your aunt is your trump card, be ready just in case you aunt decides to sit this one out and not take sides. You just may find the rug pulled out from under you. I hope you can make those Lexus payments, and that your father doesn't decide that you can't work for him to pay it off.

Maybe they aren't giving you the leash you want because you have not proven to them that you are mature enough to handle it.

Maybe you need to earn the privileges instead of demanding them.

Whether your mom works or not is none of your concern. That is based on an agreement between your parents.

Maturity is not based on the number of years on the planet.

Make sure that you do the math about living away from your parents as it seems like you are in the mode of breaking off relations with them. Life is very expensive, can you afford doing it alone?

*snicker* Your mom worked for 18 years and nine months, of which you're proof of. As such, she deserves to retire if she likes.

That's it, I'm marrying some rich ass bitch and not ever working again.

<--- He hit the back button. It took alot of self-control, but he did it!

You seriously need to grow up.

hey, good idea... that'll show them who knows best. obviously you have more experience in life and know how things work and how things should run... i doubt it'll take them long to catch on and just let you have free reign while you're living with them.

and even if they don't, i'm sure your aunt is cool enough to disregard the fact that you disobeyed your parents over and over again and would be willing to take you in and be subjected to your prestigious attitude.

Oh you poor thing, having to work a whole 3 days a week while being careful not to disrupt your busy schedule of going on vacations and leeching off your parents. Cry me a goddamn river.

Your parents really need to do you a favor and throw you out on your ass and let you live on your own without any rules. But based on how they raised you thus far, they won't.

Come back when you have some real problems to discuss.

Well, I wouldn't have put it so harshly but I agree. You should feel lucky that your parents cared enough about you to tell you what you can and can't do. Some kids out there have all the freedom in the world and suddenly it dawns on them that is only because their parents don't give a shit about them. Come back when you have some real shit going on.

I was working, cutting grass, farm work, painting etc. at age 10 to save money for college. When I was 18, I had $12,000 saved up, went to school, came home and worked my ass off in a factory for the next 3 summers to pay for school. I finished my degree, came home and my old man said I had 6 months to relax, save some cash, look for a job and then I was out. Got a job, car loan, apartment and finally called myself a man.

Your still a boy. Write back when you become a man.

Simple and sweet your 18 iff you dont like the rules move out

Regardless of any growing up he needs to do, curfews are idiotic, especially for someone his age. Forcing a person to stay indoors is not going to keep them any safer. You are more likely to get hurt by a family member than a stranger anyways, unless it's him they don't trust. If that happens to be the case, then why the hell would they keep him around? Anyways, being an authority figure doesn't make your stupid decision making immune to criticism, no matter how many bones you throw out. It doesn't work for the government, and it doesn't work for parents. I'd honestly like to hear some kind of debate over the merits of curfews.

petty crime and petty thefts have historically dropped in municipalitities that instituted a curfew for minors.

so the question for you isn't really about safer for the child necessarily, but safer for the rest of the community.

why does a person who does NOT work need to be out ALL night? because they are bored? There's plenty of things to do at home in this age with 24 hour TV and internet, DVD players, Xbox/PS2....

edit: I won't even bother with read a book....

So put your money where your mouth is and move out.

You don't seem to understand what people are telling you here - YOU'RE BEING AN UNGRATEFUL BRAT! The worst thing your parents have done is give you some rules and some structure and insist that you get a job WORKING FOR THEM so you can EARN some money for going off to college. The structure (curfew) is, believe it or not, for your own good, to protect you from your own obvious lack of judgment - they're not doing it to spite you! The more you talk, the more you seem to prove our point, that 18 or not you are still acting like a child and clearly your parents are giving you exactly the amount of responsibility you are ready to handle: VERY LITTLE! Disobeying their rules only proves their point. If you want some responsibility and some freedom, earn it by growing some gratitude and some perspective.

Dude, this is why I'm not having children. :rolleyes: