Self-Mutilation - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

lordjeebus · 11-26-2003, 02:46 AM

I found out today that my younger sister (she turns 17 next week) has been cutting herself (around her ankles) for the past couple of months on a regular basis. I was saddened and shocked to say the least. It's scary.

Apparently .5 to 1% of the population engages in self-injurious behavior.

I'm not looking for resources -- I volunteer at a counseling center and fortunately have lots of information for her. Our parents and I are working to get her help, now that she's admitted to having a problem.

However, I am trying to better understand what's going on inside her. I've heard that it's often a coping mechanism for stress.

I understand that it's a very personal and emotional subject, but I was wondering if any of you had any insight or personal experiences (yourself or someone else) involving self-mutilation that you'd be willing to share. I try to put myself in other people's perspectives when working with problems, but this situation is more foreign to me than most.

Mehoni · 11-26-2003, 03:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lordjeebus
I understand that it's a very personal and emotional subject, but I was wondering if any of you had any insight or personal experiences (yourself or someone else) involving self-mutilation that you'd be willing to share.

This might not be the reply you're hoping for, but when I was really really depressed I used to cut myself. But for me it was more about hurting myself because I felt I had done something wrong, like trusting people taht only would hurt me, etc.

Also, the cutting moved the pain. If I hurt inside, and I cut myself, then I was hurting in a way I could control it.

Redlemon · 11-26-2003, 06:29 AM

Hmm, there was an excellent thread a month ago on cutting, but I can't find it. Perhaps someone else can search better than I can.

meff · 11-26-2003, 11:00 AM

You say you're not asking for resources, yet ask for them.. To know what's going on inside these people, is that it's different for each person.

I cutted because of my sexual abuse, as a way to feel 'real' and back 'in control' .. My wife cutted too, if she wants to she can post why here.

We're both cutters and haven't cut much if at all after getting together with each other. We're alot safer and don't have as much stress or worrying about getting hurt or whatnot.

If you need to talk more, please PM me.

Kaos · 11-28-2003, 08:57 PM

A friend of mine was doing it. Had been for a long time. She even carved "Hate" into her leg.

It was a defense mechanism where she would trade emotional pain for physically pain, for a kind of "release"

Took 6 months for me to get her to stop. This included anything from just talking to her over the phone to getting up at 3 in the morning when she would trigger and want to cut and I would go pick her up and drive her around for an hour until she calmed down.

It was tough. She refused councelling, so all I could do was be there and be supportive. Best advice I can give is be there when she needs you, whether she asks for help or not.

taliendo · 12-04-2003, 11:16 PM

I suppose that I have been a part of self-scarification, but for different purposes. I like the scars that I have, they are not from cutting. For me it was a very valuable experience - no different really than when I got my first piercing.

rebecca · 12-14-2003, 07:47 PM

Some people do it for attention, but since she is cutting her ankles this probably isn't the case.
If she's not depressed, it might be that she's been under a lot of pressure, and she needs an outlet or to feel something other than the numbness of anxiety. It's the same kind of outlet that Mehoni was talking about.
The last thing that she needs is someone who thinks that what she is doing is a terrible horrible thing, so don't be harsh on her.

gremlinx8 · 12-17-2003, 11:17 AM

I have done it, my sister has done it and a close friend of mine has done it, and we all did it for different reasons. I did it because I felt that nothing I did was ever good enough. I was extremely hard on myself in school and other areas. It was a way of release. My sister was depressed and upset with the rules my parents enforced, and my friend did it for the attention.

la petite moi · 12-27-2003, 11:17 AM

Cutting was a form of expression for me, and a way of coping with problems. Most likely, she won't need someone to tell her it's wrong. She needs someone to trust and care about, who she can run to to talk to everytime she feels hurt and confused.

Strange Famous · 12-28-2003, 02:33 PM

"I cut myself to let the pain out"

I think that's a Manic Street Preachers lyric, but I know someone who did cut themselves, and that was pretty much how they told me they felt about it.

inphaseneverb4 · 12-30-2003, 09:58 PM

i burned myself with a fork on my inner forearms. its weird but its kind of impowering, overcoming the pain and maintaining self control. it was a way of dealing with stress and at the same time, i was looking foward to the scaring and look of it. 4 equidistant parallel lines running lengthwise. my sugestion is to get her busy doing something she likes. introduce her to something physical like swimming or volleyball... something girls like. and maybe get her on some mood stabalizers. my heart goes out to her.

11-26-2003, 02:46 AM	#1 (permalink)
lordjeebus ‚±‚Ìˆó˜U‚ª–Ú‚É“ü‚ç‚Ê‚© Location: College	Self-Mutilation I found out today that my younger sister (she turns 17 next week) has been cutting herself (around her ankles) for the past couple of months on a regular basis. I was saddened and shocked to say the least. It's scary. Apparently .5 to 1% of the population engages in self-injurious behavior. I'm not looking for resources -- I volunteer at a counseling center and fortunately have lots of information for her. Our parents and I are working to get her help, now that she's admitted to having a problem. However, I am trying to better understand what's going on inside her. I've heard that it's often a coping mechanism for stress. I understand that it's a very personal and emotional subject, but I was wondering if any of you had any insight or personal experiences (yourself or someone else) involving self-mutilation that you'd be willing to share. I try to put myself in other people's perspectives when working with problems, but this situation is more foreign to me than most.

11-26-2003, 06:29 AM	#3 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	Hmm, there was an excellent thread a month ago on cutting, but I can't find it. Perhaps someone else can search better than I can. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

11-26-2003, 11:00 AM	#4 (permalink)
meff Vanishing, like I do.. Location: Austin, TX	You say you're not asking for resources, yet ask for them.. To know what's going on inside these people, is that it's different for each person. I cutted because of my sexual abuse, as a way to feel 'real' and back 'in control' .. My wife cutted too, if she wants to she can post why here. We're both cutters and haven't cut much if at all after getting together with each other. We're alot safer and don't have as much stress or worrying about getting hurt or whatnot. If you need to talk more, please PM me. __________________ Toy-like people make me boy-like.

12-04-2003, 11:16 PM	#6 (permalink)
taliendo Insane Location: an indelible crawl through the gutters	I suppose that I have been a part of self-scarification, but for different purposes. I like the scars that I have, they are not from cutting. For me it was a very valuable experience - no different really than when I got my first piercing. __________________ -LIFE IS ABSURD-

12-17-2003, 11:17 AM	#8 (permalink)
gremlinx8 Insane Location: Illinois	I have done it, my sister has done it and a close friend of mine has done it, and we all did it for different reasons. I did it because I felt that nothing I did was ever good enough. I was extremely hard on myself in school and other areas. It was a way of release. My sister was depressed and upset with the rules my parents enforced, and my friend did it for the attention. __________________ Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. -Lennon

11-28-2003, 08:57 PM	#5 (permalink)
Kaos Ssssssssss Location: Ontario	A friend of mine was doing it. Had been for a long time. She even carved "Hate" into her leg. It was a defense mechanism where she would trade emotional pain for physically pain, for a kind of "release" Took 6 months for me to get her to stop. This included anything from just talking to her over the phone to getting up at 3 in the morning when she would trigger and want to cut and I would go pick her up and drive her around for an hour until she calmed down. It was tough. She refused councelling, so all I could do was be there and be supportive. Best advice I can give is be there when she needs you, whether she asks for help or not.

12-14-2003, 07:47 PM	#7 (permalink)
rebecca Upright Location: anywhere but philadelphia	Some people do it for attention, but since she is cutting her ankles this probably isn't the case. If she's not depressed, it might be that she's been under a lot of pressure, and she needs an outlet or to feel something other than the numbness of anxiety. It's the same kind of outlet that Mehoni was talking about. The last thing that she needs is someone who thinks that what she is doing is a terrible horrible thing, so don't be harsh on her.

12-27-2003, 11:17 AM	#9 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	Cutting was a form of expression for me, and a way of coping with problems. Most likely, she won't need someone to tell her it's wrong. She needs someone to trust and care about, who she can run to to talk to everytime she feels hurt and confused.

12-28-2003, 02:33 PM	#10 (permalink)
Strange Famous follower of the child's crusade?	"I cut myself to let the pain out" I think that's a Manic Street Preachers lyric, but I know someone who did cut themselves, and that was pretty much how they told me they felt about it. __________________ "Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas

12-30-2003, 09:58 PM	#11 (permalink)
inphaseneverb4 Upright	i burned myself with a fork on my inner forearms. its weird but its kind of impowering, overcoming the pain and maintaining self control. it was a way of dealing with stress and at the same time, i was looking foward to the scaring and look of it. 4 equidistant parallel lines running lengthwise. my sugestion is to get her busy doing something she likes. introduce her to something physical like swimming or volleyball... something girls like. and maybe get her on some mood stabalizers. my heart goes out to her.