I need help with my roommate!!!
 

This past semester has tested my character and patience in new ways I never throught possible. This was the first year I have had a roommate, and I didn't think it would be that bad. But from the first week I had problems with him. He is a nice guy but lacks many hygiene and social skills necessary to survive. My roommate is a big guy who sweats and smells a lot and wouldn't really shower. Plus his dirty clothes smell like ass. He is very inconsiderate of my stuff (he lost some stuff of mine) and won't take the blame for it. What I'm telling you is just a few things. Anyways, he only has one friend from this floor and it works out that his friend's roommate wants to move out. So we were going to move in together and just have my roommate and his friend room together. But I don't know how to address it. Sould I just keep it strictly to we are different people with different living styles or expand on the shit I've had to go through with him? The losing stuff of mine really bugs me and I want him to pay me back. Plus, I didn't even give him permission to use my things. Part of me wants to be a complete asshole and just bitch him out, but I don't think that would do any good.

Any input you have would be really helpful, Thanks!

A friend of mine had almost the same problem with her roomate earlier in the semester. I think you should bitch him out...it's your stuff, you deserve it back/compensation. At least I think you shoudl talk to your RA(if you have them) and try and resolve this conflict, that's what they're there for. Just tell them that you are having some problems and that you want to move. Most likely they will try and help you in any way possible. Good luck and keep us updated if anything develops.

do what works for you... why worry so much about someone else's feelings if they don't worry about yours?

You've got to be straight with the guy. Tell him where you are coming from - you can do it in a decent way without being vague. What ever you have to do to get him out is what you have to do. Obviously he isn't a very conscious person/roomie otherwise he wouldn't lose your stuff int he first place.

Get 'im out!

Thanks for the thoughts. I talked to my RA last night and he recommended I start out calm and civil. If he doesn't catch on that I'm really sick and fedup with his shit then blow up in his face. I am talking to him tonight so I will let you know how it goes.

Been in similar positions before and being non-confrontational, it is sometimes difficult to tell roommates that they suck! You should confront him about your missing personal belongings though. There is no excuse for that.

the random roommate is always an interesting experience... prolly good to do it atleast once... when i had a random roommate... he was a bit wierd... but only took up a 5x5 section of the room... so it was all good...

I think you should address the issues that are causing the problem, but as cooly and rationally as possible. One, you do have a right to have your stuff respected, and two, he deserves to know that his behavior is offensive. I would say something like you're going to move out because your lifestyles are just not compatible, and that you're bothered by his lack of respect for your belongings and his not taking responsibility. (I think I'd leave out the hygiene stuff for now.) Just be calm and respectful, but assertive. No reason for you to dance around the issue, but there's also no reason to hurt the guy's feelings unnecessarily.

Ok well it's done and went off perfectly. Thanks so much for your help. I went in calm and said it really fast. We move Friday and I can't wait. I just addressed the two points and he agreed, I am so happy that I have this load off my back.

Congratulations, punx1325. I hope your new living situation works out much better than your current one.

heh sweet
i'm moving in with a friend of mine next semester cause his roommate is in bio sciences and can't stand our noise habits
i'm pretty much in their room all the time anyways, so it was inevitable
hope you have as much fun as I will!

Well I am in the new room and things are great. It is so nice not to have to fear coming to your room and hoping that your room doesn't smell. Now this is college living!

Excellent. :)

Well, good for you then. I see everything worked out ok. Congrats, and get on with that crazy college life. lol