Life?
 

I had originally posted this on a local streetracing site, but didn't get any really serioius answers. So I thought I throw it up here.

Okay first off this is not meant as a pity thread what so ever, just a place to put comments.

Do you guys ever feel like sheep being hearded through life?

Some examples;

On my way to work I see most of the same people I see on the way home. Just being "hearded" back and forth to work.

Most everyone just does the same thing everyone else does. They grow up at home go to college, find a significant other, then rush to get married. Colect a bunch of bill, then spend the rest of their lives working to pay this huge debt of.

To me all of this seems a little redundant. Lately it seems like I have noticed this alot more. Maybe because I am getting a little bored with life lately, as I do form time to time.

I know this is how life is and I/we are just supposed to accept it, but it seems like there should be more.

Sorry about my ramblings, I am just curious on everyones thoughts/opinions.

**Disclaimer**

If there are any spelling errors or grammar mistakes, I was too tired to go back and proof read this bad boy. So sorry about that.

**EDIT** I have more to add, it's just in my head, I can't quite get it on to paper yet.

Ya, although our fate is not preditermined, it sorta seems that way because of what society "expects" of us. We are "supposed" to do all the things you said, so in a way our fate is preditermined.

Dude, I am so with you. Its like life is just going by and you do the same shit every day. I feel like there should be more, am I missing something or what? I dont want my life to be this way for ever. If there a true happiness that we can reach, and somewhere that I can be happy to stay forever. Like Im having fun and all, but there has gotta be more to life that just existing. Ans thats what I feel that Im doing, just existing. I dont know, are there other guys out there that feel the same????

I feel that way all the time. Although I assume it would be different if I actually had a job that made a difference of something. But it just seems like unless you make drastic changes to what is considered the norm, it seems like life is so routine. Nothing ever really changes, just minor details.
If you've ever read the book the Alchemist, I wish I could be like that. Go against what everyone had planned for you, manage to support yourself and travel the world not knowing what you'll find. That would be great. Even if you're doing something you love or makes you happy, it's like what the hell difference is this ever gonna make, you know? I guess you just have to accept it.

I get that feeling a lot.
My solution to the problem is rather extreme so I'm just going to state it in one word instead of explaining it and offending people:
Antisocial.

IMO if you want action you have to seek it, and the way to do that would be to make new friends and aquaintances that aren't afraid to take risks.

Very true, but I don't work to pay off debt. I started smart, I only have 2 credit cards, one for emergency use (never used it yet) and the other one for gas. So I don't feel like I only work to pay off my debts. I work because I need to pay for the needed items. Sure it can get redundant, but hey I have fun doing what I do.

So basically, I don't feel like a sheep being herded because I like what I do? :( god its so late.

There are lots of different ways to view the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing the same old things day in, day out and other times I feel like I'm in the best possible situation I could be in.

I don't really know what that means.

IMO the first thing to do to become a non-sheep is to get rid of any and all debt. Then refuse to get back into any kind of debt if at all possible. That gets you out of the "living-check-to-check" wage slavery bit.

Once you're not a wage slave, you can build up a reserve. The bigger your reserve, the less dependant you are on your job. And that's pretty important, I'd say.

I saw a movie called Singles the other night that kind of summed this up for me. There was a guy in a bar that approaches a woman and starts saying something like he had been trying to think of a line to say to her but then decided to just be himself and to approach her without any games and see what see thought. She said to him that his lack of a line meant that his game was to have no line.

What I mean by this is that we all make choices in life. You can choose to follow the mainstream or you can choose to be a rebel. There is nothing wrong with either choice. What is important is to give your life meaning. Whether this is through finding the right person to get married to, having kids, continually going to school to learn more, excelling in your job, hobbies, is up to you. I don't place too much importance anymore on achieving big-time professional success (i.e. rising to upper management) as I am very well-respected in my industry and am just starting to get some international exposure in my field. I achieve happiness with my wife. I achieve satisfaction with my kids (kids are difficult but it is fun to see them develop). I have also chosen to be a life-long learner by going to school (I finish my MBA tonight actually). I'm also a leader in my church (but I don't want to delve too much into the study of religion). I just try to do what makes me happy. Having a nice home and taking nice vacations makes me happy, so I work to support that habit. I know how you feel. I felt the same way when I was in my mid 20s, but I have finally figured out what I want out of life and work to achieve that.

When life seems to get repetitive like that, it's up to yourself to change it. Don't like your work? Find another one, don't like your debts? Pay em off! Don't go in debt! The thing is most people like to have the security of a job, a lovinggirlfriend/wife and maybe kids, and as a result...there are somethings that come with it, like debts from education, a routine.

What do you want other than this? Do you want to wake up every morning not knowing what's going to happen? If that's the case, it's easy to change your lifestyle into that direction but it's not neccesarily easy to go back to the long term security that you have right now. There's a reason so many people live this way. So before you bash the system, think about what else it is taht you want, and then decide if it's worthwhile...and in 5 or 10 years, if you'd still want that.

demin puts it well into perspective... don't get into debt and save up money so that you can do what you want with the 2 days a week you have to yourself, and the 2 weeks a year you have for vacation. That said... sometimes you have to sacrifice a little to gain alot.

right now i commute 1 hour by train. i see the same people every morning on the train give or take 5 or 10 depending on the time of year. i don't see them on the way home, mainly because we have differing schedules in the PM. but my PM sometimes is spent going to broadway shows, movies, outings with friends, walking around the city, AND doing other work for other people. Why? because I want to get ahead even more than I am. the more $ I have at my disposal the more things that I can do when I want to do them, the more things I can buy when I want to buy them.

I recently purchased an apartment in Manhattan, my commute will be 30 minutes. I did this by making small sacrifices like working a few more here and there, AND not buying stuff that I want to buy like PS2, lunch (i brownbag it 3-4 days a week). Some people don't want to make sacrifices, so they sacrifice on the other end of the equation.

Facts of life simplified:
You have to keep a roof over your head.
You have to eat food.

Since I suck at hunting and building my own shelter I have to do something that gives me something that i can trade for housing and food, thus I work. I trade my time and knowledge for $$$. In turn, I spend some of that money on housing and food. After that everything else is a distraction...

Also, if you can put enough aside, you can retire early. That's about as far from "sheep" as you can get: young enough to still do thing and old enough to know what you want to do.

But you're in debt every day of your life unless you move away from civilisation. You run up a debt every time you pick up your phone, turn on your computer, or flick the lights on.

:(

Not true. You're in debt if you don't pay your bills month-to-month. In other words, carrying a balance is debt.

What are you lacking from life? Do you know what you want? Do you understand why you have these feelings?

What is stopping you from changing your life? We could all drop what we are doing and move, dissapear, live in another country. Its possible, it's just depends if we are willing to make these decisions. If you are working fivedays a week and paying off debts, what stops your from embracing your hobbies? You mentioned a streetracing board, do you autocross? trackrace? paint? create music? Do what you love and what exillerates you, if you don't know, think long and hard about it.

another point I wanted to make: Just beacuse you feel hearded dose not meen he people around you do. The people you see every day on the bus could and I hope some are, living the way they want too and in a fashion witch brings them joy.

thats not really life, life is the stuff you do between all the crap you dont wanna do.

I have decided for myself that I am going to get as independent from the typical rat race as I can, because for just my self:

I want to travel. I want to have the ability to go almost virtually any day of the week, to a given place in the world, and have enough money to explore what I want from a culture, like the language, historical digs, authentic native culture, high-rise restaurants, the tourist traps and finally just travel and see what people really live/feel like.

You can't do this on a regular salary I've long since realized. I am busting ass and educating/working on the idea of making money as much as is within my means and reasonable limits. I am 23, and while I have no trouble busting ass, I plan to retire by the age of 28-30 with a passive cash flow of $200,000+ annually. I am progressing towards that goal.

Wake up EROK81?

The matrix has you.

I think the vast majority of people wander thoughtlessly through life, trying to feed some emptiness without actually acknowledging its existence. I think the key to escaping this is first admitting how bored/tired/angry/sheeplike you really are and doing something about it. I try whenever possible not to watch television, not to buy things I don't need, not to conform for the sake of comfort. Of course I fail all the time but at least I'm trying.

I realize I'm in a minority here, but I actually don't feel bored with life at all. I'm in a career field that I love and chose on my own, something I've wanted to do since I was four. It's true that I have to struggle to make ends meet, because my job pays a lot less than it should, but when I don't wake up in the morning with the immediate thought, "I don't want to go to work today," that means a lot to me. It's true that I have debt that is significant in relation to the amount of money I make, but most of it is student loans, which I don't mind because going into debt meant that I could have a career that I love. As far as the marriage thing goes, I think you're right on about society expecting us to be married by a certain age, and I definitely felt that pressure, but I married my husband because he is a wonderful man.

My trick for getting through life is simply to do what I want, within reason. I don't go out and spend extravagant amounts of money whenever I want, but occasionally I do treat myself. I know how to cut back to save for the things I want (am in severe need of a new laptop, so no Lilly Pulitzer dresses for the next year). Doing the things you want, no matter how small they may seem, makes a big difference.

Like others have said, try to take up hobbies in your life. Don't let your day to day existance be wake-up to work to home to sleep. Build on hobbies, try an art form, express yourself somehow.

I've been living like a hermit for the past year, but my reward will be moving into my brand new house at the end of this year. Once I have moved and paid for the needed things of moving and furnishings, I will be able to look towards other things that peak my interests. I see work as a means to pay for the things I want, life is not work. As soon as work ends for the day, my life can begin again.

I like this thread, there are a lot of good replies here. Some ideas I myself hadn't thought of. Anyway, I recently began to feel like a "wage slave". Working from paycheck to paycheck, really is not that cool. So what I have decided to do is save as much money as I possible can and move to Alaska. To go work on a fishing trawler. It is a pretty dangerous and demanding job, but I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty by any means. This run o the mill lifestyle has finally driven me to make a drastic change. It's funny because just thinking about it really brightens my day, the anticipation, the preparation, the pay off! Sometimes ya just gottta switch it up and go for it. I agree what everybody else has said here.

Where is Anthony Robbins when you need him :D

Life is what you make of it. Don't feel you have to do something just because everyone else is doing it. The majority of people if they were perfectly honest would love to significantly change things about their current lives. I find myself getting depressed about society and the way things are but we have to realise that we are so lucky to be in a situation where we can change virtually anything we do. If I am fed up with my job, I just don't turn up!!! It's not the end of the world and life will go on. Now i'm not saying that we should all just quit our jobs, just that if you want things to change, YOU are the person that has to change it. It's all about stepping out of our comfort zones and making tough decisions.

It's good that you've had these thoughts and I think it shows you want to live a different life to 'the crowd'. Now all you need to do is figure out what exactly it is that you want and then get down to figuring out how to get it.

Ba-a-a-a-h humbug.

It's all in the state of mind. Some people are happy with a routine life because they've got some things going on the side that make it all worthwhile. It's the old conundrum: do you live or work, or work to live? The answer is, whichever one makes you happiest. Just live life with imagination and see the possibilities. If you don't, you're dead.

Case in point: when I was very young, I worked in the advertising department of a large insurance company, writing for the employee newspaper. It was my responsibility to go to Personnel each week and gather death notices for current and retired employees.

Well, after reading the death notices for a few weeks, I noticed a really creepy pattern. About half of the obits were for people who died one or two years after retirement. The company justly prided itself on its retirement benes, and since it was generally a shitful place to work otherwise, retirement was the only reason to stay there. So people would work for 30 years in some stupefyingly boring or degrading job in claims or sales, _earn_ that golden retirement -- and die. Because, I suspect, by the time they retired they had forgotten what they were living for.

I quit after 11 months. Best move I ever made.

We are all cogs in a the great machine that is society. Like it or not, living a normal life is contributing to the good of everyone in the long run.

This free and fun life isn't for us. Sorry. I have accepted our role and our place in history. Someday, be it in 200 years or 1000 years, people probably won't be required to work much or to do any manual labor. Then they could travel or do whatever, I suspect they would soon grow bored of it and be drawn to intellectualism and they would try to solve the great puzzle that is our universe, or at least I hope it turns out that way.

Life is like this for a reason, if everyone were to travel and do whatever they wanted, civilization would collapse, which is NOT a good thing for the good of humanity.

We are not here for the good of humanity, we are simply here to exist. I don't feel compeled to help the human race in any specific way, we all do are part by simply existing as one giant snowballing mass of orgran bags. I don't think that your civilization could ever return to a way of life no longer based on material ambition.


If they could, why don't people return to living in self supporting communitys. It would be possible if they utilized modern technology, mostly the ability to produce energy through solar power and wind power. If we really only need food/water/shelter to survive, why dosn't everyone stop taking part in society and form isolated off the grid communitys? I would say, its because no one desires that form of freedom.

If asked what exactly my ideal place in the world would be, the money to exist in modern society but live completely outside of any finacial limitations.

i totally agree with this.........just change something. start going to work by a different route. start going to the park a lot. or the library.

i've found that any little change i make ends up causing bigger effects on down the line. not always good, but at least intersesting!

I can't believe how much this really hit home. This is EXACTLY the situation I'm in RIGHT now! I was working but I felt like there HAS to be something more. I mean I liked my job and the people I worked with, but it just felt like I'm missing out on life's ADVENTURES, ya know? So, like GuttersnipeXL, I'm planning on making some drastic changes in about 3 weeks! :)

Man, I'm planning on doing something drastic also. Right now, I'm thinking of taking a job overseas (outside the US). I saw an ad on Monster.com about teaching English in Japan. And like you, just thinking about it makes me feel better. Now I know things won't be perfect, but I'm willing and ready to take a chance. I'm sick and tired of being SICK and TIRED you know? So I'm gonna DO something to make my life better/different. I'm so glad for this topic because just typing up this reply helps me to stay focus because changing countries and lifestyle can be scary. Anyways, this quotation is my motivation, I hope it will help you:

For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: It might have been!" -John Greenleaf Whittier

i think people get in this rut all the time. people need to find something that challenges them or life will seem meaningless. motivation.. a goal.

there are too many people in this world who hide from the future and dwell in the past or present.. it is a negative cycle of defeat.

i see the bullshit that life is. i recognize this and try to work to change that for myself. i am not a cog. at least i try not to be.. i think it all comes down to finding happiness. who am i to judge what's right for you? while happiness should come from within, it's whatever floats your boat. and if you're not happy, then maybe you should find ways to change that.. granted, i think it's possible to be a cog and enjoy life... you just gotta find how ;)

The key is to have a life while you acting on plans.

Explore, have adventures, play when you can.

Take opportunities, and don't always play it safe.

Life is too short.:)

Well said! :)

I've travelled to China even though I didn't have enough money.
I've travelled to Australia on a one-way-ticket with 50A$ in my pocket.
Now I'm in Taiwan.

I have done many things bordering on stupid, and now I'm sitting here, 26 years old, embracing the mundane.
Who knows what will happen in the future?
I guess its different when you already have plenty of reasons to be grateful for being where you are. Or just being.

hey
 

I'm new here only because I randomly stumbled across this topic on a google search. I was looking up some photographs of sheep being hearded and came across this. I like this topic and I'm glad to have found it.

I can relate. There is more to life than just the normal 9-5 work day, coming home, eating and watching tv, etc day in and day out. That just seems to me like a wasted life...which I sometimes feel as if I've wasted weeks and months of my life by not doing something more. I don't know. I can only describe it as having everything in life that you want, but you're still not satisfied. There's still an empty place. I've been rediscovering why I'm here. Why I don't always feel satisfied and it's seriously the time that I put into my personal relationship with Jesus that has been and still is changing everything. It's good to have fun and do things, but it gives you a different outlook on life when Jesus is the center of it.

that's just my two cents...

Have a happy thanksgiving day!!:thumbsup:

Thanks for bumping this thread Kay, it was an interesting read that I'd long forgotten about. As someone who has just finished university and is about to head out into the real world, it's kind of depressing to see what everyone who has gone through what I'm about to go through before me is experiencing. Youthful exhuberance dictates that one of my age would say that they'd never live a mundane life, but I can't help but think the exciting life I've envisioned for myself is merely a pipe dream :(

Attitude is everything. If you can think about the treadmill and being a sheep and the mundane nature of working in a positive light, most of it can be interesting and humorous and even fun! Enjoy the sunrises and the sunsets and the people around you.
Attitude is everything, and you are responsible for your own.
Good luck with getting over the angst!

I completely disagree with everything in this post. Life is not full of choices where you sit down and rationally plan things out for most people. You wind up in a certain place before you can turn around and even begin to make decisions, and even then, it's not up to you. This is a prime example of completely buying into the package, not thinking, never trying to change anything and "everybody winds up where they deserve to be" bullshit you can expect of somebody who classifies an MBA as lifelong learning. (30 pieces of silver, anybody?) I'm not even going to directly address the mentality where one's wife and kids are checkboxes on the road to happiness.

Now, does that mean this poster accepts that? No, but the fact that he chose to represent it to the general public is indicative of his desire to fit in, which aligns neatly with the rest of his life. So here's your answer to your question, you can either buy into the whole system, or change your lifestyle accordingly in order to find what makes you happy. Because as vitriolic as my criticism of his lifestyle may be, if he's truly happy then nothing else matters, including my criticism. And that is something worth envying, if for all the wrong reasons.

I can honestly say that I'm one of those people who are happy with a routine. I'm not really a slave to my debt (although I do have some). I enjoy where I work and what I do, even though as a receptionist, I don't make any kind of significant impact on the world.

Overall, I'm happy being humble. It's the people who are part of my life and that I interact with that make me feel worthwhile.

After going, and working, through a host of problems I've found that I don't feel trapped by our society at all. I don't care about what other people think of me, I don't care about my social class and somewhat pity those who do. That "push" to follow others and copy does not intice me, and I honestly don't feel bound. The only thing capable of making me feel that way would be my own inhibition, which I shed a long time ago. I've come to understand that our society is the conclusion of other people. Though I participate in it and help others, I know that I'm not part of it; at least in the sense that I'm not burdened by it. I don't have a need to get rich, or buy a house. I pursue my own goals, shun illusion and live. The point of life is to enjoy it. That six billion people are doing something doesn't mean you have to.

I pretty much disagree with everything you said in this post. Life IS full of choices. If it's not a conscious thing for most people, it's because they make it that way. They don't think about what they are doing. Whether one realizes it or not, your life is pretty much the sum of your choices. Nobody just "winds up" at some place not knowing how they got there. If you have a shitty life and the only way you can go on is to live in denial, then yes I can see how you'd think that way. Only a fool thinks they have no control over their life. A goddamn fool.

No, Skysooner was advocating finding what makes you happy and doing it, no matter what it is. He never said that you have to have kids to be happy. Did we even read the same post??

Um, I think you really misunderstood skysooner's post. He said do what makes you happy. You said he's full of shit, then you came back and said to do what makes you happy. Why didn't you understand that's what he said in the first place?

Life is what we make it.

the choice is to take charge and follow your own path (sometimes this can be the 'norm' and sometimes not)

I think people are just apathetic, they don't have dreams anymore, they just settle. Which might explain why so many people experience feelings of helplessness and depression.... Action is what changes everything. If you don't like something, if you're not happy... you have the power to change that.
We have a generation of people who are not empowered, what our past generations wanted to fulfill them is different from what may fulfill us now, the world has changed; we just need to catch up and WAKE UP.

sp

I have met people who look like sheep and act a little too normal if you ask me.

Not sure if depression is in your family however.....

You might try volunteering with the Boys and Girls Club or volunteering with the elderly or elderly handicapped. One day with either of those groups will make you so friggin happy to be normal. I met an old guy last year who could not remember most words and what they meant. He could not remember his family either. Rejoice in life for we don't know how long we have. Another book to read is Volunteer Vacations. Make your time away from work seem more meaningful and effective to improving the world. That said, it is not hard to shake up the status quo once in awhile. Take the holidays for example.... you might try and give very unusual gifts this year. Give all your family some unknown music that they never heard of. Shake things up. Back in September I wanted to have a unique birthday party. So I gathered my friends and we went to the bowling alley and I brought out pirate hats and eye patches and they had to bowl a game with the eye patches ! It was really hilarious and people talked about it for a long time. Anyway, time to get to sleep....

good luck,

Jonathan

Excellent post!
 

If it was a safer world, travelling it would benefit humanity.
Otherwise I agree wholeheartedly! :thumbsup:

There is no fate but what we make it.






Ok, I just wanted to quote Terminator 2.


I like this thread, but everything I want to say has already been said much better by others in here. So........I agree with a lot of you.

You're only a sheep until you realize you're a sheep. I challenged the shit out of all my high school teachers because I wasn't interested in learning meaningless tripe that really only served to put me in a box. I live outside the box. The only time I'm really in the box is with my boss, and I turn around and am a freedom loving, party animal (yet responsible) boss to my workers. Live as an example to others how good life can be.

I will occasionally get the feeling that I am "floating" through life, and this observation is only brought on by my occasional clear awareness that "this is all real."

When this happens, I'll often look at my hand, then around my environment, and be like "Shit, this is all real." It's a fantastic feeling, and can definitely be experienced willfully. After writing that, I am doing it right now.

It's so easy to fall into the routine and normalcy of life; it's almost like one isn't living, but instead floating.

Concentrating and clearing the mind is also a great way of achieving a better grasp of the notion that things are real, and help stop one from "floating."

Parts of this post may not make sense. In my head, and life, I have experienced moments of extreme clarity where I will have an experience similar to an epiphany, with the result being crystal clear awarness. In a sense, it's a reality check, but on a much more serious level.

In general, I think people have too much going on in their lives. Too many thoughts, too much stress, too many ideas bouncing around in their heads. The end result is a looser grip on reality, in the sense that they lose focus on their core selves, and the reality that they are a part of every single day.

One could argue that the stress, numerous thoughts, and general distance from the base reality is in itself reality, but in my experiences, the moments of clarity one experiences when they just clear their mind and concentrate is amazing. It truly feels real. Simple, but very, very real.

There is a good kind of "floating" that can be experienced though. Play some classical music and let it envelop you. I'd recommend Mozart or Haydn. You'll float right away, and results may vary, but I find the experience fantastic. :)

Interesting I posted this a long time ago, and here we are a little over 3 years later.


I still don't have a PS2, the PS3 is out now, and I'm not interested in spending the $$$ on it.

I don't brown bag it all that often, but I am mindful of what we do for eating out.

Travelling, wow, I've been to India, Philippines, Madrid, Finland, Iceland, Austria, Gran Canaria, Bahamas. I'm amazed at the ability to do these things with a little planning and saving money.

I'm starting a new business with my wife, we're having a blast playing with it. I say play because it's just that, something we're playing with because it's extra money we have now from continually saving money. We can take the risk, if it pays off and one of us gets to quit their jobs, great. If not, it was a fun endeavor.

My life has changed so much, but at the same time it's not changed at all.

What I have to say has already been said. I have only this to add:

The people who are saying that we are sheep (or that there are sheep at all) display what are, to me, blantant symptoms of being in a state I was once in. I thought I was depressed... and I made myself so, but only because I didn't fully understand what it meant to take responsibility for myself - to take control - and how essential that is to living a fulfilling life. Depression and a lack of ownership over one's own life; whichever the cause, the other seems always to be the effect. To ask why we are living a certain life instead of to strive to live the life we desire is to give over control... to give it. It isn't taken from us so easily. (Unless of course we are talking about the mass media mind control thread. That is a whole other can of worms to consider, and I think it is very related to this thread.)

Here's another take on it though...

If you reach 40, have no debt, no kids and no house (of your own) - you may start to have some regrets. Particularly if there few friends of your own age with similar aspirations. You might also wonder about your security in old-age.

The sheep analogy is a good one and useful to keep in mind, as some people seem to sell their soul for marginly more interesting houses/offices, but don't forget that there's some value in these aspirations also.

In the developed world, we largely lack the adversity that would rule over our lives. Instead, most of us have choice and opportunity, and the pressures and anxieties that come along with it. Feeling like you control your life does not automatically give you a direction to take. Then, we compare our lives to those less privileged and wonder why we are not more grateful.

People need raw emotions to feel truly alive, or they take up bungi jumping. Grief over the loss of something is akin to the emotions felt when falling in love. We don't need to do either, very often, anymore. Adversity, much like love, can heighten the world and spirituality around you. Too much of a good life is confusing and uninspiring - "Is this it?" - people ask themselves. There is too much time to stop, think and type about it on the internet. Much of this apathy is due to technological advancements removing our traditional tasks in life. There's less small things to reward yourself over. Less things to take pride in doing.

I'll be dead in a few years unless I get a kidney transplant and I've been stuck in a wheelchair all of my life. My time on Earth hardly feels like it is 'playing out' in front of me. However, I still waste my days and achieve very little, when I am capable of doing more. There is no sense of urgency or feeling like a hearded sheep here. I don't care about my debt problems or retirement. Life's biggest ambition is holding on to custody of my daughter and dealing with the guilt of knowing that the couple who adopted my son would give her a better life.

Having a natural adversity has actually not done me much harm. I can be quite arrogant about it actually, while soaking up the pity and excuses, when I feel like it. Disabled people are invisible to society's expectations and 'normal requirements' anyway. You rarely feel lost in your own community or just another number. Your individuality is upheld, while your independence is promoted by just about every fucker you know!

I Love this! At first I made it into a dirty joke in my mind, but something clicked, and while it may have been (somewhere in the neck) I think cream rises, because it does! :lol: