Mom says I should marry my own kind/non-vegetarian.
 

My mom keeps telling me ever so often that I should marry my own kind and that I should not marry a vegetarian because it will cause all sorts of problems when we go out to eat or to family parties. I'm Chinese and my current girlfriend is Filipino/vegetarian. It really bothers me to no end. Should I listen to my mom or not give a damn?

How long have you been going out? Is marriage even a possibility at this point in your relationship? If you weren't thinking about marriage before, don't let your mother's opinion ruin your relationship.
If you were thinking about marriage, you should get your mom to give you good reasons not to, "She's Filipina" is just bigoted, and "She's vegetarian" is just so petty and small that it's not even worth thinking about.
It's your life, you're an adult, your Mom's not the one with the girlfriend (I hope), you are, and if Mom won't be happy for you, it's her loss.

In this case, no.

Love can overcome this, plus, if your girlfriend respects you, she wouldn't demand you become a vegatarian anymore than you should demand she become a meat eater.

It will only complicate meal planning. As long as she doesn't mind you eating meat, but beware that hidden agenda. If you were married and she said "meat or me" which would you choose?

Heh, my humanities teacher married this chick. shes really hot, and a vegetarian, liberal, and arts lover. anyways, he's totally whipped so she made him become a vegetarian.

the moral of this story is: a few heads of lettuce can't hurt if shes got nice tomatoes

I was a vegetarian for years and married to a meat-eater, and it didn't cause any problems at all. I didn't proselytize, I didn't belittle him for not beng a vegetarian, and if he wanted to eat meat it was fine by me. We usually ate vegetarian at home because it was easier than fixing two entrees, but when we ate out it was no problem at all. I even grilled him a steak or two.

my wife is a vegetarian and i'm not and we've been together for 15 years now.

the nice tomatoes was funny. i tell people. "if it's worth being whipped over... whip away."

Ignore your mom. She can cook some veggies when your future wife stops bye. Good luck.

I think the key phrase is "marry your own kind," and the vegetarian thing is just an excuse. Chinese food is about the easiest cuisine in the world to adapt to vegetarianism; you just chop up the stir-fry ingredients, fry up a small batch without meat for the vegetarian, and then do a batch with meat for everybody else.

If you love the woman, ignore Mom. Do the good son head-bobbing thing when she rants at you and then go off and do as you please.

That said, I married a vegetarian and it hasn't made any real difference. I've got three pounds of pork jobs in the fridge right now; she doesn't give a damn.

a filipino vegeterian? wow i could never be vegeterian. filipino food is just too much meat :-D mm

anyway i dont think it should be a problem as long as you respect eachother's food choices. veggie nazi's scare me.

ROFLMAO thats hilarious....


i dont think you should care about what your mom says... your a big boy... and can take care of yourself... it should be something you talk about with your woman if your serious and maybe want to marry her eventually so it doesnt become an issue later on...

http://www.allowe.com/images/eat%20more%20chicken.jpg

I was a vegetarian for three years. I would never do it again.

I'm gonna have to go against the tide here. I married a woman that doesn't eat (most) meat. She'll eat chicken and turkey and shrimp, but no other meat at all. It's created a problem, I enjoy cooking, but I don't enjoy cooking two seperate meals. I get tired of eating chicken, and don't really like turkey. I enjoy steaks and other beef dishes, fish, pork and I love barbecuing. There are only so many things you can do with chicken!!!! If you really love her though and feel like you can overcome this obstacle go for it. When it comes to love the only voice you should listen to is that of your heart!

filipina+man=happiness

Ignore your Mom.

Like Lurkette's situation, my wife is a vegetarian and I am a meat eater... There is never an issue at home and only occasionally do we arrive at a family dinner where my wife can't eat the entree... she just fills up on the side dishes (ie salad, carrots, etc and no Turkey).

What if she was a diabetic and couldn't have sugar? Oh my God! Stay away from her because you like sugar and she can't eat sugar... what will happen when the dessert trolley comes around and she doesn't partake? It will be the end of the world. :rolleyes:

It all depends on your girlfriend. I love smoked sausages, and my wife couldn't stand them. She'd always berate me about what went into them, tell me that the smell of my cooking them made her want to puke.

Does your girlfriend do that? Does she try to make you feel bad about things that you enjoy simply because she doesn't enjoy them? If she does, then you're marrying your mom, and good luck to you. It'll last all of a year.

Ha ha, I really doubt that she is talking about the vegetarian thing. My mother is Chinese, and Chinese society seems so blatantly racist (as do many societies) to me. She wants me to marry a Chinese woman because "Chinese people are better". I think this elitist attitude is common among Asian cultures, and I think the vegetarian thing was just a "front" to tell you to marry someone of your own ethnicity and nationality.

My girlfriend is a recently turned vegetarian. I think it is fuckin awesome. You know how when you make some food (not your standard lunch or dinner meal), your girlfriend is gonna want some of it, so you are never satisfied with your meal cause you didn't eat enough? Well I just make sure I always eat meat dishes now. Well, I also used to have 1.5 portions instead of 1 but that is besides the point (Much like that whole paragraph).

Now back to the subject at hand.... Are you sure your Mom isn't just saying that because she doesn't want you to marry her? Not because she is a vegetarian?

edit: oops, I didn't read the post above mine. Yeah what he/she said.

My wife is a vegetarion. I am not.

You know your Mom is right, horrible things have come of this. Sometimes when we go out to places there isn't much for here to eat. So she has to 'not eat'. GASP! Of course sometimes we go out and our friends prepare meat - meat that tastes like cr*p. And then I don't get a chance to eat. GASP!

If you like this girl, mealtime is not going to be a big problem. You'll eat pork tacos; she'll eat tofu tacos. Both of you can brush your teeth and then get down to the real fun.

I won't even tackle her being Filipino. If you're concerned about food, you're not gonna be ready for her to be celebrating Filipino Independence Day on July 12th while you're still waiting 7 months for Chinese New Year to roll around again.

My wife turned veggie for about 7 years. It was not big thing. This is such a petty thing for you or your mom to make such a big deal about. The key is that she, or you just shouldn't ever bring it up to anyone. No one should be on a high horse about their veggie status or bring it up all the time. It is a personal lifestyle choice. My wife never mentioned it when we went over anyone's house, etc. She ate the non-meat stuff and I don't think anyone ever noticed that she didn't eat the meat. Don't let it get in the way of anything.

If her being a vegetarian is the biggest challenge you have to face, you will be together forever. I tend to agree that it may be more the "non-Chinese" thing than the veggies. I have a very good friend who is Chinese and his parents are constantly trying to break he and his Korean girlfriend up. At first they found all sorts of little things to pick on. Not a good cook, alway running late, poor dresser etc...finally they owned up and told him he should not date, let alone marry, outside his own race. What are you gonna do? If you care about her, stay with it and work through the issues.

My wife is vegetarian and I grew up on a cattle ranch. If we can make it work, anyone can. When I want steak, I eat steak! Just make something extra for her.

Dude, I bet you 100 dollars your mom has never tried soy marinated tofu with peanut glaze in a stir-fry ;\

Difference in food preferences is a silly thing to even consider when deciding on the future of a relationship. I mean, come on.

... It's food.

Dude, if thats the biggest hurdle you have to overcome I really really envy you. I mean really, is this such a big deal?

heres a quick test:
do you fight about it more than once a week?

if Yes: seek professional help
if No: its obviously not a problem, please invite me to the bris.

I've always subscribed to the philosophy that I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain just to eat veggies. I eat what I want.

However, my sister became a vegetarian - still is to this day, except when she's pregnant and going through the "cravings" that pregnant women get. She married a committed meat-eater, and they did just fine with the differences in their eating lifestyles.

One thing you might want to realize early on is this: the odds are, she won't be willing to cook your food if it's meat.

From where I stand, that's pretty fair. Don't expect it from her, and she'll be more likely to do it more often than she would if you were determined that she should cook every meat meal for you.

Like most vegetarians I know, my sister evenutally became nauseated by the smell of meat - raw, cooked, it didn't matter. So give your girlfriend a bit of space; give your Mother a reality-check and tell her that dietary habits do not make or break a marriage...

........and that she really needs to pay more attention to her own life instead of meddling in yours.

Interesting. I'm Chinese and a vegetarian, and my mom says I should marry a girl who is also Chinese but is not a vegetarian. She thinks the girl I marry will 'convert' me back to an omnivore diet.

My girlfriend is Norwegian and a vegetarian.

I say marry who you want to marry. And eat what you want to eat. Sorry Mom.

Chinese + Filipino vegetarian I dont see as incompatible. Is the vegetarian thing the only problem with your family? If thats it, food isnt that big of a deal, but I understand your situation.
Im a chinese atheist and i don't even want to think what my mom would say if I brought home a nice jewish girl that eats kohsher.

well she has a reason but not a very good one. she might just not like that person. either way, a relationship should transcend food choices :p

Vegetarian is just fine, if my current SO can put up with my eating habits (essentially cowatarian) then anybody can put up with anybody else's, except for those crazy mineralatarians.

Does it bother your mom that she isn't Chinese? I think many Chinese are quite traditional about marriage...I'll leave it at that since I don't want this post to get deleted for making generalizations about Chinese people.

That being said, maybe the vegetarian thing is just an excuse and like someone said there is another reason behind it. Anyway it's bullshit to break up with someone just because they are a vegetarian, good luck.

I'm a veggie, my GF's not, and besides her occasional whining about how I need to get more protien, there isn't a problem. Then again... maybe that's just because I do all of the cooking.

My stepbrother and his SO are about to have a baby. She's vegan, he's omnivore. It is causing some problems with them. First, the doctors (and her midwife) have raised a lot of concern about being pregnant and vegan. Second, she wants to raise the child vegan. When parents want to impose their beliefs on their kids but the parents have different beliefs, you're gonna have an issue.

my wife doesn't like onions or peppers.... net result is me making 2 seperate dishes or sometimes, she'll eat around them or pick them out. it's annoying to both of us.

as far as marrying your own kind... how neanderthal. I told my folks when I was still in middle school that I wasn't interested in any girls of my heritage. I like white skin, blonde hair and pink nipples. Filipinas don't have that...

my sister.. she didn't marry a filipino either...

Tell your mom that you met a really nice Chinese girl attending a good university (you pick), but you told her you can't have a relationship with her, because she was a vegetarian.

Watch your mom's reaction. Come on, it will be fun!
:D

My mother in law is from Indonesia. Before I married her daughter she was furious because I eat pork and they don't (religion).
We married anyway - now my wife just loves bacon.
When her second daughter also didn't marry an indonesian she threw quite a tantrum, because again he was a pork-eater.
After her third daughter married a pork-eater she just resigned to muttering about how nice it would be if we all converted and wouldn't be so different anymore.
Mom's don't like it when children don't share their point of view. It wasn't really about eating habits or religion. It was about culture which she didn't like.
You are not marrying or dating your mom (I hope) so just forget about what mom says since she won't like most girls you bring home.
Go find someone YOU like and fight for her if you have to!

I say go with the suggestion posed by XenuHubbard......

If this truly is a case of your parents attempting to force their own beliefs/prejudices/bigoted notions on you, then this is the perfect solution!

You have a problem here.

And I don't mean a cooking problem.

Your mother feels perfectly okay about telling you who you should or shouldn't marry.

That's messed up. That's <i>your</i> decision, not hers. Tell her that.

treu...married life will sart to get stressfula nd you both will get annoyed

Don't give a damn.. sounds pretty close minded to me. Who cares what race they are/what they want to eat. I mean, I'm sure as hell not going to eat all veggies, but whatever, thats their call, who cares if they want to miss out on the mad cow disease ;)