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-   -   Has anyone been on the other side of unrequited love? (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-life/169415-has-anyone-been-other-side-unrequited-love.html)

Zeraph 04-12-2011 09:27 AM

Has anyone been on the other side of unrequited love?
 
That is, the side that doesn't feel love, but has someone else in love with them. How do you deal with them?

I'm kind of regretting a decision in my past. I went out with a gal for only about 3 weeks, I broke it off because I just wasn't that attracted to her (though she wasn't ugly either). But in those 3 weeks she pretty much fell in love with me.

I'm wondering now if the best quality is to find someone that loves you. Perhaps I should have given the relationship a lot more time. She's still the only gal that has ever loved me.

What are your experiences? Has anyone dated someone only because the other party was highly attracted/in love with you?

LordEden 04-12-2011 09:45 AM

My dog loves me with all his puppy heart and I threaten to cook him at least twice a day.

That counts, right?

Zeraph 04-12-2011 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LordEden (Post 2890994)
My dog loves me with all his puppy heart and I threaten to cook him at least twice a day.

That counts, right?

Hmm, depends, do you have sexual relations with your dog? :)

WhoaitsZ 04-12-2011 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zeraph (Post 2890988)
That is, the side that doesn't feel love, but has someone else in love with them. How do you deal with them?

I'm kind of regretting a decision in my past. I went out with a gal for only about 3 weeks, I broke it off because I just wasn't that attracted to her (though she wasn't ugly either). But in those 3 weeks she pretty much fell in love with me.

I'm wondering now if the best quality is to find someone that loves you. Perhaps I should have given the relationship a lot more time. She's still the only gal that has ever loved me.

What are your experiences? Has anyone dated someone only because the other party was highly attracted/in love with you?

give her a try. You never know what may happen!

if things don't change just tell her sorry it just is not working. no harm, no foul and you made an effort.

Zeraph 04-13-2011 06:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhoaitsZ (Post 2891049)
give her a try. You never know what may happen!

if things don't change just tell her sorry it just is not working. no harm, no foul and you made an effort.

I wish I could but I lost her number.

genuinegirly 04-13-2011 07:55 AM

You lost her number... so I assume you have no way of contacting her. Sounds like you don't have a problem. She'll get over it. She'll get over it easier when you don't encourage her nonsensical affection.

Yes, I've been on the "other side" of unrequited love, as you put it. It's a hassle. I've dealt with it by ignoring the person. They have all eventually moved on. If that person was actually a neat person or good friend, I might resume contact with them in a few years. Only after it has become abundantly clear that they have shifted their hopelessly romantic affection to another person, and they've nearly forgotten I exist, then I'll consider adding them as friends on facebook or other easily-cevered methods of friendship.

chinese crested 04-14-2011 09:14 AM

Quote:

if things don't change just tell her sorry it just is not working. no harm, no foul and you made an effort
That would be a bit cruel, dont you think, there would be harm to her if she felt that strongly.
Yes I have been on the other side of it. One I didnt know about his 'crush'. Ended up turning very nasty - firearm involved - very dark nasty stuff.
Lordeden - You can never have too much love in your life - and dogs will love you loyaly with all their hearts. They will listen to your woes, share - and often be - your joy. They will encourage you to exercise and go out, and sometimes they will assist you - purely because they love being loved - but dont we too. All mine are rescues. Armsfull of love.
If only their little lifetimes were longer.

Zeraph 04-14-2011 01:23 PM

Oh, I should also mention its happened at least 2 times before + the OP. I basically ignored them as I had absolutely no interest in them. But still I wonder if it wouldn't have been for the best if I had dated them. Finding someone that loves you is incredibly hard.

EventHorizon 04-14-2011 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chinese crested (Post 2891809)
That would be a bit cruel, dont you think, there would be harm to her if she felt that strongly.

hell yeah its cruel! i've been on both sides and as painful as it might be for both parties (one moreso than the other) thats just the way it is.

if you're the one in love, it sucks because they're incapable of seeing in you what you see in them and hope becomes your worst enemy until you emotionally get over that person, you die of old age, or they call the cops on you (if you're the stalkerish type).

if you're the one that is turning that love down, it sucks because you aren't setting out to completely destroy this person from the inside-out but given the options between that and bending to the will of someone who you have no interest in pleasing, you have to tell that person that if they want you to be happy, they'll leave you alone.

does unrequited love actually happen? probably, but alot less than angsty teens/ college students realize. i would say that a more appropriate term is unrequited infatuation.

Zeraph 04-14-2011 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EventHorizon (Post 2891958)

does unrequited love actually happen? probably, but alot less than angsty teens/ college students realize. i would say that a more appropriate term is unrequited infatuation.

Hah, that is true. Its only happened to me once, one both sides basically.


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