What should I do with myself?
 

I'm unemployed. Have been since a programming contract position ended last June. I've been a web developer (LAMP) since 1998, and I'm good at it. But positions to do that sort of thing seem hard to come by around here, and few companies seem willing to hire somebody to telecommute.

After geting turned down for two jobs the other day--each of which seemed like a complete slam-dunk--I had a sort of epiphany. If I actually look at my work history, I've got lots of stuff on there that's not about sitting at a computer and writing code. I've managed people, managed projects, done sales and marketing, accounting, I've worked retail... There's LOTS of stuff I could be doing. It was shocking to see just what blinders I've had on about what my next options can be.

So now... The sky's the limit, but what should I choose?

I'm 35. I have a BA in English Lit and 11 years of on-the-job training in writing Perl and PHP web applications. I used to work in the marketing department of a large gourmet food shop, doing in-store promotion materials and running the e-commerce website. I have done technical sales, customer service, and tech support pretty much my whole career either as part of my job description, or on an ad-hoc basis.

My other thought is: Get a part-time job that will sustain me a bit, and go back to school! CS is the obvious choice, but frankly I think a career in social work or counseling would be something I'd do really great at and I'd love to make a difference in people's lives that way. I think I'd love to be a lawyer, but I'm not sure I'm game for the investment that would take.

One thing about me is, I'm a member of a non-traditional family. The polyamory community is WAY underserved in terms of lawyers, counselors, etc who are aware of and sensitive to our issues. And that's a market I expect to grow. So it's be a great way of serving "my people" while also setting up something with some future to it.

How about it? If you were going to make a major career turn, like a fresh start, but with all the background you have now, what would you pick? Where do you see growth over the next decade or so? What do you think you'd just find interesting?

I'd create something using all of my current skills and use it as a milestone template of whatsofar I've accomplished in my life (like a multi-lingual opera, featuring death, dreams and ... haven't figured out the third piece of the epic. This is but a hypothetical..).

It certainly doesn't immediately help one in terms of career advancement, but if you use the right set of skills and present it as an example towards a future employer, of what you are able to comprehend, design, and accomplish with drive and motivation, it can quite easily get you in the door, if not more.

I'm at a demarcation line in life as well, hoping to leap over it and put myself on the right path to, I don't know--business relations or back into architecture again, I'll figure it out--but I don't see how offering my opinion of what I'd do in an enclosed vacuum of supposedlys will aid you to figure out what it is you'd, ideally, like to pursue, ratbastid.

Steps to becoming an attorney are a mighty endeavor, and not just in terms of financing your education. It's not a long process to actually pass the bar, and the basic curriculum is difficult, but not an overburden to someone who is willing, though that's just the tip. You'll need a ton of experience to even be considering a sub-par counselor, and on top of that, the connections you'd need to make in order to make a name for yourself is one of the more tiresome parts of the job.

I wish I knew more computer programming and what type of code fits where, but I know no more than I did yesterday, which was nothing at all, as to offer alternative job ventures.

But I'll ask: are you averse to moving from your current residence and community roots in order to land your next working life? That might help determine what the motivation is behind your choice in careers and what will ultimately best suit yourself, your family, and your current expertise.

Architecture! I hadn't even thought about that, but I'd love to be an architect! What does that take?


I would prefer to stay in my current geographical area. I'd be willing to commute (there's no good law school in town, but UNC and Duke are both within about 45 minutes).

[quote=ratbastid;2773612]Architecture is one of the most difficult degrees to get. Very intense in physics and structures (physics applied to objects). Whatsmore, only about 2% of people will EVER use an architect in their lifetime. Furthermore, you spend months on the proposal side trying to get a job with your bid. If they don't like your work and say no, it's all down the tubes with no money coming in. Lots of upfront work with a hope of payment. My friend graduated with a degree in architecture, call Dominos and talk to him. He will come to your house and tell you all about it. He'll be there in less than 30 minutes too.

I had this epiphany exactly a week and a half ago after calling off due to physical stress and illness stemming directly from work.

I realized I cannot take an 8-12hr day behind a desk, especially now that I have made being healthy and getting exercise priorities in my life.

I want to buy 40-50 acres of land, start a boarding kennel with my best friend who is Pre-vet, do the business side of the non profit service dog training she wants to start. The boarding kennel to pay the bills for the non profit, essentially.

Then use the rest of the land as an education playground for sustainable/LEED standard buildings, and build a Bed and Breakfast along the NY Wine Trail. Our niche would be a subset of pet friendly cabins that would also have onsite pet sitting/boarding via the kennel for folks to leave their furry friend to go hiking, visit wine trails, etc during the day and then come back and have the pets with them.

I want the Bed and Breakfast to be Leed Platinum standards, and try to rope in the talents of friends and family. My bro is a chef, his wife a patisserie, and I love doing things with my hands and meeting people.

I'm currently in a position at a non profit now, so my next goal (I've realized) is to get the Masters in Non profit management I've been eying for 6 months so I have the skills to get this off the ground.

I have nothing to give you, but I am glad to know that this question is still relevant when one is 35. It's very tempting to think I'll stop asking that when I get older. Phew. :)

I'm sadnabout the financial difficulties if a life dedicated to social work. I've made a hell of a lot of difference in a lot of lives, but frequently found it almost impossible to survive, financially, without damaging my credit. I'm getting my PhD now. I'm going deeper into debt but hoping that I'll find a way to help AND sustain my lifestyle. My school is producing more culturally sensitive and diverse practitioners than many others and really opening eyes... I've met part of a poly family at a conference already. It's awesome.

Wow ... I really admire you people with plans, really. My goals have always been short term and pretty much what others have to do in order to live in the 21st century. Finish high school-check, get apartment-check, finish college-errr ...

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It's actually not that difficult to be a jack of all trades bastid. Why have you not looked at the tertiary industry i.e. finance, banking, accounting in the various fields of you professional incline? Want to be a councilor/counselor, politician, lawyer or social worker in such a field? Don't have the certifications necessary? Then start a business and manage it in that particular field. Do you have to be a lawyer to start a law firm? Do you have to be a social worker to start a counseling service for the "poly" community? You can always do what you want to do regardless of certifications if you can find a proper workforce.

This is pretty much what I'm gonna end up doing as soon as I get out of college 2 years fom now.

I wouldn't call it a major career change, but it sounds like you have all the tools you need to market yourself as a web designer. Start your own business. There are 1000's of small businesses that could use your skills and you wouldn't have to go anywhere to be a national company. Focus on small 'downtown' kind of businesses, the old family owned shops that are suffering from no web presence. Or study languages and go international. It is definitely a growing field and one you are already trained in.

If you want to get completely out of the field, doing this should give you the time and money to go to school for something else too.

If I could go back in time, I think I would have gone into law. I would probably be an attorney for father's rights.

But I think you're on the right track with counseling. You said your community needs counselors, you think you'd be good at it, and it's something you can do to help your community and make money.

Just spitballing here, but have you thought of being a teacher of some sort?

Realistically, I would probably find a way to write movie reviews for a newspaper, but back in the days when I between 8-15, I wanted to be a detective for the state police (might have something to do with an extended family member being a homicide detective for the Michigan state police) or a forensic psychologist for the F.B.I. (I blame X-Files for that idea).

One question is whether or not you're expected to be the principal breadwinner in your non-traditional family. Having the potential for three incomes means that you don't necessarily have to have compensation as a primary concern, but if the dynamic is such that you're expected to bring in the lion's share of the family income then it becomes more of a concern.

If you're not overly worried about compensation, social work can be very fulfilling. Your prospects in that field would be improved immensely by a two or four year degree. I know here you could get an SSW (Social Services Worker) certification in two years and walk into some homecare or nursing jobs for respectable-if-not-great wages, but I'm not sure how that translates for Americaland.

Starting a web dev business is an option I suppose, but I don't need to tell you that the competition is fierce, and you'll want to sit down and think very carefully before you dive into it on whether or not you really want to be your own boss. A lot of people don't, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I wanted to be a public defender for years. When I was in college, I made an appointment with a local PD and sat down with him to talk about the ins and outs. It's mostly paperwork, and what time you spend in the courtroom is mostly just procedural. That goes for nearly all lawyers. There are very few Alan Shores in this world, and they have to spend years, usually decades being grunts before getting to do the fun stuff.

Rat, setting specific careers aside for a second, what are you passionate about? If you could do something for the rest of your life, what would it be? Something with food, maybe? Or talking to people? Maybe it's creating something with your own two hands! think about the broad terms before heading in a direction. If I had a time machine, this would be the exact advice I would have given myself as a junior in high school.

What a wonderful thread topic! (and an A+ attitude on being out of work).


I'm at a point in my development where I feel like I need to prove to myself that I have what it takes to see something through from start to finish. A Ph.D project offers me just this opportunity. Pursuing problem-solving with passion, and being appreciated for it - I'm starting to gain more confidence in my intelligence and abilities.

I can see why a higher degree isn't for everyone, but I'm pretty sure that most members of the TFP could easily cut it in graduate school, you especially. I hope you're able to figure out what will be best for your life - choosing either an MBA or JD program does seem the most appropriate for your skill set and aspirations. Best of luck figuring it out!

They're looking for a new male prostitute in Nevada. I'm sure that's in your skill set, too.

I'll have a non-smartass answer later.

All the lawyers I've known knew that they would become lawyers, at least by freshman year of college. They didn't just "think it might be a good idea". My sister considered it, then took a year or 6 months or something as a paralegal before applying to law school. That was enough for her to determine that she wasn't going to be a lawyer.

If you're unwilling to make the time investment to become an architect, you can work for Vandeleigh Industries. Or tell people you do.

OK, serious time. RB, you're really at a cross roads. What I haven't seen you say is that you don't like working for someone else. And you don't seem to have a vision of bringing a creation to the market. That's all fine, but it does rule out striking out on your own as an entrepeneur.

If you become a lawyer, you've got a minimum of a 3 year school commitment (with the first year where you'll rarely see your wives). After that, you'd be doing grunt work for a minimum of 5 years, maybe longer. If you end up in corporate law, you'll spend long hours making decent money, but in a corporate culture that thrives on long nights. The magic of billing by the hour. There are alternatives, but there's a long period of suck for most lawyers at the beginning of their careers, and it's not a 9-5 job.

Reading your OP again for the 4th time, something occurred to me. I think you're already answering the question for yourself, which is really what needs to happen any way (moronic be the soul that takes career advice from the likes of us). Have you considered getting certified as a counselor and doing web-based sessions with clients across the country? You have the ability to handle the technical end, I'm sure, and I can't imagine that the local polyamory community is large enough to support you financially. Why not reach out to those in similar circumstances elsewhere?

As for me, getting legislated out of existence is a distinct possibility if the current soft insurance market reverses itself too sharply. The conditions are going to swing the other way eventually and if they swing too far too fast, the Feds will probably do to P&C what they did to Health Insurance. Positing that it comes to pass, I'd probably either try to swing onto the underwriting side or into the risk management side. Insurance is a bit of a black hole in that people rarely leave the industry permanently, but if I had to do that, I'll probably try to go do development for one of the cultural institutions in town. I'm pretty good at getting people to agree to things they initially didn't want to do.

No advice, but if anyone needs some technical computer magic to happen, Ratbastid is the guy to hire. I'm speaking from real life experience.

I've had many long-term goals. It wasn't until I tossed them out that things fell into place. It may be a coincidence, but I felt less stressed without the long-term goals hovering over me.

I was an elementary teacher for 8 years and hated it. I tried different cities, states, and types of schools. I got my Master's degree in Curriculum and Instruction so I could get out of the classroom. When I realized I didn't give a shit about the kids and was just working to have summers off, I decided to quit working in the school system all together. I was miserable and wasn't helping the kids I was meant to teach. I had no plans whatsoever except that I was finished teaching and still had bills to pay.

I started waiting table. I'd throw out resumes for odd jobs every now and then, but I was told I was over-qualified. I didn't mind, I enjoy waiting tables. About six months later, I got a call from a large publishing company. I had applied there a few years earlier and got offered a job, but it wasn't right at the time. The interview process went quickly and within a month I was working as an editor. I've been there for over a year now and I really enjoy it.

From my experiences, there's a time to have a plan and there's a time to see where things will go. College is so expensive and time consuming that it isn't worth it unless it's something you really want to do. I've always been interested in forensic science and if I end up in a situation where I want to go back to school and wait tables, I will. But until then, I'll stick with my editing gig. It's my best job yet.

My story probably doesn't work in your situation or help at all because we are all in different phases of life and wanting different things. You'll choose what is right for you.Things drop in our laps when we least expect it. Good luck!

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an old girlfriend of mine used to have her own consulting business and did quite well with it. She wasn't satisfied and sold her stake and became a life coach.

Since doing so she's been on TV show and I think is writing a book. Her deal is about Life's Dash, the - between the year you're born and die and what you do with it.

all based on What Would You Do If You Knew You Couldn't Fail?
http://www.designingyourdash.com/Media/NBCNews.m4v

My cousin left the field of chemical engineering after getting his masters and earning good money because he found he couldn't work with chemicals any more. So he moved up to God's Country, bought a log splitter, and makes very nice custom built log cabin houses. Some he builds for folks who have absolutely stupid amounts of money. Which is a roundabout way of saying what shesus says - something will fall into place when you ignore the box you think you've been in.

I like the idea of Jazz's - get some sort of certificate and start Skype counseling your poly-pals across the land and maybe even world wide. Create your own web presence, make a masterful site that generates huge traffic and see what you can put in it that allows you to sell your writings or accept donations to further help the cause for polys, transgenders, you name it. Get a long-distance plan and major broadband, insist that your clients call you after a rigorous email documentation that does the introductory legwork for you and lays their issues out as they see them. Get payment via credit cards and paypal.

Create your niche based on your strengths and interests and make it work. After all, Arnold Schwarzenegger did exactly that when he moved to the States and look what he's managed to do. That last sentence is not facetious. The man created a niche for himself in Hollywood - there really was no place for a German muscle man who spoke halting English - he applied his smarts and now is Governor of California.

You go ratbastid :thumbsup:

Subway franchise. I think startup costs are like $100k but they're very profitable.

Mmm... five dollar roast beast.

Just where is bastid in all this anyway??

probably packing his satin thongs for Nevada...

I'm here. I don't even own a satin thong!

Just taking in your feedback. VERY helpful, guys, keep thinking out loud for me. If you were going to start fresh, what would YOU pick? What would inspire and fulfill you?

Here's what I've gotten to so far, after just my first cut at the self-reflection this is prompting. I've spent the last 35 years consuming. I think it's time to start providing. Whatever it is, it's about contributing something.

That's all I've got so far.

Um, Wake? One of the best law schools in the land. Or if you want it easy, there's Campbell in booming Buies Creek.

My key suggestion is if you are planning some major career change, try it on a temporary basis before you commit to that change.

Think being a lawyer could be your thing? Volunteer at places that offer legal services pro bono so you can see some of the lawyers working up close. Think social services could be for you? Volunteer at a homeless shelter/counseling center/ etc.

I have a cousin who was an engineer, but hated the routine of his job. After a while, buildings are buildings and he felt he was just going through the motions. He decided that maybe being a doctor would be different and more exciting, as he would be helping people and all. So my uncle, a doctor, suggested he volunteer at a hospital first. And then he saw that being a doctor was just as full of routine as engineering. When it comes to careers, it always seems that the grass is always greener on the other side, as we often hear about the exciting and distinctive features of a field, but rarely about the day to day routines.

Since you have a lot of experience and knowledge you should work for a research house. Become an analyst or an industry expert in your area and write white papers. You could do it telecommute too.


Not sure that helps but it is all I've got!

forget for a minute what you're "qualified" to do. take a deep breath and think back...are there anythings in you're life that you've told yourself you'd love to do? For example, if I had the resources I would A. (first choice) run a B & B or B. Do catering. Am I "qualified" to do either? Unless you count a big desire to provide couples with the best B & B experience, or the best undry, tasty, inexpensive food, nope but if I had the right opportunity I'd do it in a minute.

Do you have anything like that rattling around your brain?