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-   -   Deceptive appearances? (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-life/153066-deceptive-appearances.html)

w4r10ck 01-25-2010 12:26 PM

Deceptive appearances?
 
Consider this situation: there's this girl, X, who loves some guy Y. Y ditches her. So she tries to commit suicide (the exact method is by swallowing too many sleeping pills), but her brother A saves her just in the nick of time. A week later, A commits suicide due to a very dismal state of academics.

Is it possible for X to develop a vengeful attitude towards men in general?

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

The actual case involves a girl who is basically quite nice and flirtatious towards all males. She's quite mature, good-looking, and can laugh, cry and talk with such emotion that even the best of us would take it for real - basically a social delight. But she is extremely secretive, manipulative and dominating at the same time.

Should I run for dear life here?

Sorry for the liberal use of variables - I'm doing my masters in Math.

w4r10ck.

Plan9 01-25-2010 12:41 PM

Honestly, I was hoping for more variables.

...

Yeah, I'd run for dear life, bro. Damaged goods all around. Why waste time on a girl that you already know has issues galore.

The "extremely secretive, manipulative and dominating" bits are undoubtedly part of the redeeming qualities she may have.

Manic_Skafe 01-25-2010 01:30 PM

Taking a sledgehammer to your balls sounds like a better idea than this.

w4r10ck 01-25-2010 01:36 PM

@Plan9

I understand you bro... the incident actually took place about 4-5 years ago. Apparently she hasn't been able to come out of it yet.
I have experienced such things first-hand (not that I tried committing suicide, but yes, I've been dumped and dumped hard on more than one occasion). Can such incidents really cause such lasting damage that people become devoid of any and all emotion? (sorry if I asked a really naïve question.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manic_Skafe (Post 2751926)
Taking a sledgehammer to your balls sounds like a better idea than this.

Ouch! That's definitely gonna hurt. Is it that bad (not that I disagree with you...)? ;-)

Plan9 01-25-2010 01:51 PM

Dumped hard, eh? Yeah, I've been there a few times... although I would word it differently to avoid the wrath of LordEden or Jazz. They're irregular.

Such incidents can cause long lasting damage to people. They get hurt and stay hurt. They seem to prefer it; as if pain is both a crutch and a bandage. Father wasn't there, their pony died, mom drank too much, had really unsatisfying sex with a chunky D&D player, etc. It's a reason to be damaged.

Instead of taking the hard things they've been through in their life and using them to make themselves wiser and more kind, they wear them like bitter "You guys..." scars. So instead of slamming your nuts in a car door or what my pigment-endowed brother, ManicSkafe said, I'd avoid this snarling hosebeast lest you feel like you put more than just your dick in the rusty jaws of a female bear trap. Besides, mentally stable women are cheaper dates.

...

And, for the moment, let's assume that you live in Assam, India. There are a million girls to choose from that don't have these issues.

The_Jazz 01-25-2010 02:22 PM

I don't remember eating corn.... Oh, we're not talking about that kind of dump. Sorry.

Is it possible? Yes. I'd even go so far as to say it's probable assuming that the description is correct (see below), although the 5 year time-frame makes it seem less likely.

So the girl is in love, gets dumped, tries to kill herself and is saved at the last moment by her brother, who being completely clueless and a moron in general, offs himself a week later, failing to clue in on any sort of irony. It's a big world, so I'm willing to accept those events as plausible, although I have to say that I don't find it very probable. Saving someone from suicide usually doesn't inspire suicide in the savior in the immediate aftermath.

You say that this girl is "secretive, manipulative and dominating". That makes me doubt that there's much more than a kernel of truth in what she's telling you. Sort of like the kernel of corn in my poop (cue "The Circle of Life").

Don't run, drive away from her as fast as you can.

Plan9 01-25-2010 02:26 PM

I've got this one, Dad. Jeez.

The_Jazz 01-25-2010 02:47 PM

Kiddo, you're assuming that he's getting a true story. I'm not.

Go get me a pot pie.

LoganSnake 01-25-2010 03:01 PM

Manipulative people don't usually receive that label unless they've been successful. Stay if you think you can see past the manipulation or can outsmart her and make her believe it's working (counter manipulation - not recommended), enjoy being dominated and have tons of patience to get past her secretiveness.

Otherwise, back away slowly then break into sprint.

Wes Mantooth 01-25-2010 03:08 PM

I'm not sure if that would create a vengeful attitude towards men per say, everybody handles that stuff differently. I'd be much more concerned about the whole secretive, manipulating, dominating thing you mentioned. If you feel that comes from the incident you mentioned you could suggest therapy so she can properly deal with it and move on.

I guess weigh the pros and cons, if its something you can deal with stick it out. Personally though I'd run for the hills and never look back, there would have to be A LOT of pros to deal with baggage like that.

w4r10ck 01-26-2010 01:53 AM

I guess you guys gave me the "smoking gun" after all. Thanks.

There are a few points I'd like to add however:

a. Unlike in movies where we see the bad guy calmly leading the hero into an ambush while sneering behind his back, in this case, I think the girl's manipulative behavior is rather spontaneous. That is to say, these aren't calculated moves. I can say this because she makes certain people at the univ. feel like she's interested, but feigns disinterest behind their backs. If I were a girl I don't think I'd do that.

b. She's too casual with her dealings with any and everyone. Even with the slightest bit of interest on anyone, a person's behavior is bound to change, however slight that might be. Either she's an emotional wreck, or a pro. Either ways, I'm out.

Thanks again for all your comments and suggestions.

Halanna 01-26-2010 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by w4r10ck (Post 2751904)
[FONT="Tahoma"][SIZE="2"] But she is extremely secretive, manipulative and dominating at the same time.

Should I run for dear life here?

That would be a big fat YES. You only think she is a social delight, it's part of her manipulation.

Cynthetiq 01-26-2010 11:19 AM

move on.

Jove 01-26-2010 12:35 PM

It 's a trap! or in this case, She is the trap.

Lady Bear Cub 01-27-2010 04:35 AM

She tried to commit suicide over someone dumping her. She was damaged all along. She is probably a sociopath and you don't want to get mixed up with those people. They can fuck up your life for longer than you are actually with them.

GreyWolf 01-27-2010 05:15 AM

This girl would likely suck the life out of you in a hurry... you know she's manipulative, and there's few things more manipulative than trying to commit suicide. Sounds like she thrives on emotional dependence, and I can tell you from personal experience, that is incredibly draining. When someone's entire emotional well-being is tied up with YOU, it's BAD!!!

I think it's unanimous ... get away, get far away, and hide.

Cynthetiq 01-27-2010 05:25 AM

you know, you could reconsider the run away position. There's lots of people who get together with bat shiat crazy manipulative women. I used to have friends who had such things... and all I can say is that the pussy must have been fucking fantastic.

Something had to make it worth it... that's the only thing I can assume it would be...maybe they had the legendary snapping pussies.

Xerxys 01-27-2010 05:55 AM

No Cynthetiq. Its way more simpler than that. It is very easy top get caught up in emotionally abusive situations. Just look at Jazz and Plan9.., (kidding) but seriously when someone is abusing you emotionally the confusion and need to please <-push-pull-> effect makes you dependent on it. They may grumble often, grumble grumble girl has me whipped grumble, but they always come back. Men and women alike.

Jinn 01-27-2010 01:23 PM

This is kinda like eating bleu cheese that has been sitting on the counter for a week.

It might taste good, it might still be just like normal bleu cheese.

But is it really worth it, with supermarkets just down the street?

Plan9 01-27-2010 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jinn (Post 2752538)
This is kinda like eating bleu cheese that has been sitting on the counter for a week.

It might taste good, it might still be just like normal bleu cheese.

But is it really worth it, with supermarkets just down the street?

Jinn, are you drunk?


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