ametc

I feel so heartbroken.. even though I initiated the breakup. He cheated on me and now has a new gf, so my heartache, imo, is justified. For the first batch of questions.. I need help on how to fucking get over this fucking heartache. Guys can answer these, too, in however way they please.

1. How the fuck do I get over this heartache?
2. Should I egg his/her houses? or Should I get revenge? If so, how would be an awesome method?
3. Why do I want to go back to him even when he's such a douchebag?
4. Should I delete his number from my phone and get a new number? What if I need him for something?
5. I feel so lonely and sad. Tell me some things about me that you like and why I deserve a new man.



So, after I have accepted that he's a fuckhead loser, I'd like to date a new man. I've considered being lesbian.. but after getting drunk with a friend and trying to be lesbian.. we were like, "Damn... being a lesbian sucks ass." I need the cock. ;-; So...

6. How would you usually get a new man?
7. Would it be creepy to date a man over the internet? How do you do this? What are your experiences with this?
8. I've been scaring away men by acting kooky.It ends up making me feel like shit. What is a good way of flirting with men?
9. I expect to have sex with my new man soon.. but not as soon as the first night. I would end up crying like a bitch. How do I explain to a horny pervert that I'm actually looking to take it slow. But, not too slow.
10. What are other methods of meeting guys that you recommend? How do I do them?
11. Should I even get a new man? Why/why not?




Thank you all!

CinnamonGirl

Revenge is never a good thing. You won't feel any better, and you just end up looking like a jerk.

What could you possibly need him for? Delete his number!




Seriously, don't worry about meeting someone new yet. You can't get involved with a new guy when you're still hurting this much over the past one.



This just made me laugh. A lot.


You'll be okay. I promise. You deserve to be happy, and obviously, he didn't have what it takes to make you happy. Chin up, young person.

__________________
"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Manic_Skafe

I think that all of this deserves a hell of a lot more thought than you seem to be willing to give it.

Best way to nurse a broken heart? Move the fuck on. Do something. Build yourself as new a life as you can muster and focus on making yourself whole enough to be complete while alone. From your post above, I doubt very seriously that you'd be able to do yourself or any new relationship that you enter into any justice.

...

__________________
"Porn is a zoo of exotic animals that becomes boring upon ownership." -Nersesian

spindles

QFT. I'd almost go so far as say 'try to forget he ever exists' - the further you can remove yourself from him, the quicker you can move on.

My advice - keep yourself busy, and spend some time with your friends.

__________________
who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

noodle

Oh lady...

*disclaimer: noodle's thoughts, not judgement or recommendation*

1. How the fuck do I get over this heartache?
Time

2. Should I egg his/her houses? or Should I get revenge? If so, how would be an awesome method?
NO. It's not worth it. And bail's really expensive.

3. Why do I want to go back to him even when he's such a douchebag?
Because that's the nature of having feelings for other people. It's behaviors that are more important.

4. Should I delete his number from my phone and get a new number? What if I need him for something?
Personal preference. I leave mine in there, but stored under a nickname so I know if he ever calls and then I can decide whether to answer. I leave everyone in there... my ex-stalker is still there three phones later because if "Psycho Motherfucker" ever pops up on my caller ID, I hit ignore and call the cops.

5. I feel so lonely and sad. Tell me some things about me that you like and why I deserve a new man.
I don't know you but I know self-pity, while justified sometimes, is dangerous. YOU identify reasons why you deserve good things in life.

6. How would you usually get a new man?
By not going into it looking to "get a new man." Be social, meet people, make friends and see what happens.

7. Would it be creepy to date a man over the internet? How do you do this? What are your experiences with this?
I've done it once, it worked out for 5 years on and off. I wouldn't do it again, I don't think. Times are and I am different now.

8. I've been scaring away men by acting kooky.It ends up making me feel like shit. What is a good way of flirting with men?
I'm a crappy flirt. Being authentic and yourself, whether you are kooky or not, is the only way to find someone who appreciates you for who you are.

9. I expect to have sex with my new man soon.. but not as soon as the first night. I would end up crying like a bitch. How do I explain to a horny pervert that I'm actually looking to take it slow. But, not too slow.
Work on the breakup feelings first.
And learn how to be friends/act normal/be somewhat comfortable around another person. And "NO" works just fine. If it doesn't, pepper spray speaks louder.

10. What are other methods of meeting guys that you recommend? How do I do them?
See number six.

11. Should I even get a new man? Why/why not?
Stop asking people if you should "get a new man". I'm not being rude, but seriously, you don't "get" a person that really matters. If you're looking for a fucktoy, you can "get" one of those. Finding people who are of substance is a process that requires going through a lot of idiots. Take you time, enjoy life, be social and don't worry so much. But, if you want to get a fucktoy, have at it... just don't assume he's your "new man" automatically.

__________________

Tully Mars

Everything Noodle said.

__________________
I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

ametc

Thanks you guys. It's like, I know this stuff.. but I just need somebody else to repeat it just so I know it's right. :/

Willravel

Time, yes, but more than time you need to process the breakup in order to get closure. Don't ignore your feelings, embrace them or at least pay attention to them. This is difficult because a trust that was long built broke down due to him being a total ass. The fact that you ended it means you're strong, which is going to be useful in the coming days and weeks so long as you don't go into denial about your sadness. Above all, be honest with yourself.
Your best revenge is moving on and being in a healthy relationship with yourself, and maybe someone you happen to meet. Why waste delicious eggs?
People's self-esteem can drop after ending an important relationship, so you're in a bit of a vulnerable place right now. It's totally normal.
Why would you need a lying douchebag? You wouldn't. Assuming all of his crap is out of your house and visa versa, that's it.
Oh it's even better. You're smart and pretty, and capable of real kindness. You don't even need a new man to be happy. That's just a perk.
I wouldn't, but as a man that occasionally is on the prowl I look for women that are intelligent, self-assured, financially independent, healthy, and happy. Still, you really should put "find a guy" on hold until you have closure.
I've had bad experiences in this. My experience is that the better relationships happen when you meet people through having a good and varied group of friends.
Some men, myself included, like kooky. It's cliche, but if you are just yourself around men, you will attract a man that's attracted to who you really are instead of who you pretend to be.
Have sex when you're comfortable. Speaking for all men, there's a reason we like to leave this up to you guys, as generally despite having a lot of the same ridiculous urges as us you seem to have better self control. Just remember that if you're feeling comfortable committing to sex before you trust someone, that's not a relationship but rather WFB.
Make friends first. I love it when women do that. If you meet someone interesting that you think might be more interested to get to know... get to know him.
Not yet, of course. You need closure.

Bear Cub

1. How the fuck do I get over this heartache?

Booze.

2. Should I egg his/her houses? or Should I get revenge? If so, how would be an awesome method?

Tell him you're HIV positive and pregnant with his baby.

3. Why do I want to go back to him even when he's such a douchebag?

Because douchebags are lovable scamps, i.e Bear Cub.

4. Should I delete his number from my phone and get a new number? What if I need him for something?

No. How else would you be able to send him pictures of you banging your new F-buddy? The one with the HUGE penis.

5. I feel so lonely and sad. Tell me some things about me that you like and why I deserve a new man.

You have a vagina. Answers both parts.

6. How would you usually get a new man?

If Bear Cub were a woman, the same plastic bag technique.

7. Would it be creepy to date a man over the internet? How do you do this? What are your experiences with this?

Bear Cub is a Craigslist legend. What do you think?

8. I've been scaring away men by acting kooky.It ends up making me feel like shit. What is a good way of flirting with men?

Buy them booze. They'll know you're interested, and you've already given them the greatest gift possible.

9. I expect to have sex with my new man soon.. but not as soon as the first night. I would end up crying like a bitch. How do I explain to a horny pervert that I'm actually looking to take it slow. But, not too slow.

Blow him until you're ready. Which should probably be somewhere around tomorrow afternoon.

10. What are other methods of meeting guys that you recommend? How do I do them?

If Craigslist doesn't work, OK Cupid and Plenty Of Fish are the only acceptable alternatives. Except maybe FetLife.

11. Should I even get a new man? Why/why not?

No. Relationships are horrible. Find as many new men as possible strictly for coital interaction.




Good luck!

__________________
Living in the United Socialist States of America.

wooÐs

1. How the fuck do I get over this heartache?
Baby yourself. Cry. A lot. Eat bad food to your heart's content.
2. Should I egg his/her houses? or Should I get revenge? If so, how would be an awesome method?
No revenge. As much as you want to. Karma will come back around to him. And you might just get to sit back and watch. But if not, that's ok. Just know he'll get his at some point and time.
3. Why do I want to go back to him even when he's such a douchebag?
Because you love him. Just not his actions.
4. Should I delete his number from my phone and get a new number? What if I need him for something?
Keep it for now. Don't get a new number. That's letting him know he has that much of an effect on you. Just be strong. And don't you dare, DARE, contact him.
5. I feel so lonely and sad. Tell me some things about me that you like and why I deserve a new man.
I don't know you. But I can tell you you're worth more than some twat who cheats. No one deserves that. Well, unless you cheat too lol.
6. How would you usually get a new man?
Online. I don't have to shower or do my hair / make up in order to talk to men.
7. Would it be creepy to date a man over the internet? How do you do this? What are your experiences with this?
No. I dated a man who lived in the UK for 2 years. Obviously didn't work but it was nice while it lasted. He came to visit me about 6 times over the course of the relationship.
8. I've been scaring away men by acting kooky.It ends up making me feel like shit. What is a good way of flirting with men?
Act like yourself. And hide the desperation if there is any.
9. I expect to have sex with my new man soon.. but not as soon as the first night. I would end up crying like a bitch. How do I explain to a horny pervert that I'm actually looking to take it slow. But, not too slow.
"Hey - I just got out of a relationship but while my heart's healing, I'd like to get laid and / or maybe even find a great friend in the process."
10. What are other methods of meeting guys that you recommend? How do I do them?
None.
11. Should I even get a new man? Why/why not?
When my ex and I broke up, I tried to get a new man but I couldn't even start writing the ad. So I just drank, cried and ate. After just starting to get over him, he called. And he's back now. But we're not 'dating.' We're just basically fucking and saying how much we love each other. It's complicated, yet simple lol.

As much as it hurts, the healthiest thing is to date yourself for a while. However, finding another man is the easiest way to get over heartache - I've done this a few times. It really is up to you. But whatever you do, don't harm yourself or someone else in the process.

You'll be in my thoughts.