Oh lady...
*disclaimer: noodle's thoughts, not judgement or recommendation*
1. How the fuck do I get over this heartache?
Time
2. Should I egg his/her houses? or Should I get revenge? If so, how would be an awesome method?
NO. It's not worth it. And bail's really expensive.
3. Why do I want to go back to him even when he's such a douchebag?
Because that's the nature of having feelings for other people. It's behaviors that are more important.
4. Should I delete his number from my phone and get a new number? What if I need him for something?
Personal preference. I leave mine in there, but stored under a nickname so I know if he ever calls and then I can decide whether to answer. I leave everyone in there... my ex-stalker is still there three phones later because if "Psycho Motherfucker" ever pops up on my caller ID, I hit ignore and call the cops.
5. I feel so lonely and sad. Tell me some things about me that you like and why I deserve a new man.
I don't know you but I know self-pity, while justified sometimes, is dangerous. YOU identify reasons why you deserve good things in life.
6. How would you usually get a new man?
By not going into it looking to "get a new man." Be social, meet people, make friends and see what happens.
7. Would it be creepy to date a man over the internet? How do you do this? What are your experiences with this?
I've done it once, it worked out for 5 years on and off. I wouldn't do it again, I don't think. Times are and I am different now.
8. I've been scaring away men by acting kooky.It ends up making me feel like shit. What is a good way of flirting with men?
I'm a crappy flirt. Being authentic and yourself, whether you are kooky or not, is the only way to find someone who appreciates you for who you are.
9. I expect to have sex with my new man soon.. but not as soon as the first night. I would end up crying like a bitch. How do I explain to a horny pervert that I'm actually looking to take it slow. But, not too slow.
Work on the breakup feelings first.
And learn how to be friends/act normal/be somewhat comfortable around another person. And "NO" works just fine. If it doesn't, pepper spray speaks louder.
10. What are other methods of meeting guys that you recommend? How do I do them?
See number six.
11. Should I even get a new man? Why/why not?
Stop asking people if you should "get a new man". I'm not being rude, but seriously, you don't "get" a person that really matters. If you're looking for a fucktoy, you can "get" one of those. Finding people who are of substance is a process that requires going through a lot of idiots. Take you time, enjoy life, be social and don't worry so much. But, if you want to get a fucktoy, have at it... just don't assume he's your "new man" automatically.