Is being reliable and punctual a turn off for people?
 

I'm a very really reliable and punctual person. Outside of work I feel like no one really appreciates my reliability and punctuality when showing up for things. Does being reliable and punctual turn people off? I've tried being less and unreliable and punctual as an experiment and have to say it's the worst feeling in the world not to mention people get pissed. So it seems like a lose-lose situation for me. Maybe it's not me and people just suck.

My worst pet peeve is people that are late, even more so that bratty kids in eating places. grrrrr I hate late!!!

:lol: Dude no. C'mon. If your punctual, the person you're meeting isn't. But when You're late, what the hell, the person you are meeting is late too!! Relax ... life is good.

Punctuality is a trait that is not very glamourous or recognizable by normal people.

Unless you arrive at the agreed-upon destination at the exact time you were told to, and you were seen just moments before to have saved a young boy/stray dog from getting steamrolled by a bicycle, and you also offer hot delicious doughnuts to your awaiting colleagues afterwards, they are not really going to congratulate or even acknowledge your dependable approach.

It's a shame, really, because I think conscientious time disembarkers are really great.

Man you guys would never make it down Mexico way. Here Tuesday means some Tuesday (or any other day for that matter) not necessarily this Tuesday.

It depends.

Don't be on time for a party. No host of a party (dinner or otherwise) that starts at 8pm wants their guest to arrive a 8pm.

Everything else, show up on time and punctual.

Excuse me, but if I tell you to be at my house at 8....you'd better be there by 8 lol If I say 8 I've been ready for people since 730

I dont believe in "fashionably" late

Shani... you are an exception to this rule. ;)

I have shown up on time for dinner parties only be greeted by people in towels just getting out of the shower.

I expect my guests to show by no later than 30 minutes from an 8pm start. Invitation for dinner at 8 means we will sit down at 9. Between 8 and 9 it's finger foods and cocktails.

and by the way, I do let it be known that whatever time I give is that time and if they show up late I will chain them in the basement lol

I get annoyed when people treat time as if it's a personal commodity. Its obnoxious when people assume their schedule, and plans, are more important then anyone else's in a group setting and use time to assert that.

Shani is not alone on this. when i had parties, i'd freak out when people weren't there by 5 minutes after whatever time i said the party started, i thought no one was gonna show. if i say it's gonna start at 8, then i will have everything ready to go at 8. i'm like that.

i'm pretty punctual, i think it comes from 20 years of an "if you are early, you're on time, if you're on time, your late," mindset. also my mother used to be late ALL the time, to EVERYTHING, and i would be with her, and i was embarrassed, so now i am always about 10 minutes early to everything.

and i expect others to be on time as well. for me, when you show up late, you are saying "you are not that important, i have better things to do than see you. i don't respect your time." i know there are mitigating circumstances, but i had a friend who i could count on to be late. i hated meeting him.

I don't wear a watch because I'm on beach time. I hate the feeling I get when I'm running late, so I avoid it by never having to be anywhere at a certain time.

The 24 hour store will be open 15 minutes from now, the bike trail will be there 30 minutes from now, the internet is always here, the lake isn't going anywhere. I am on my schedule and I am happy, I always have something to do to keep me busy if I have to wait for other people.

A key lesson in business:

If you aren't early, you're late.

My business cares more about results than when people decide to work.

Another key lesson in business:

Results are meaningless if you don't have clear goals. :thumbsup:

Theatre says:

When you're early, you're on time. When you're on time, you're late. When you're late, you're fired.

I wouldn't expect to see appreciation for being reliable or punctual any more than I'd expect to see appreciation for not punching random strangers on the street. I would expect people to be annoyed by tardiness or unreliability, as these things annoy me and convey a lack of respect.
Depending on your guests, this may have the opposite of the intended effect.

And yet, nearly every performing arts event that I've been to starts late, usually about 15 minutes. In college, we called it "performing arts time".

If it's a sit-down dinner, that's one thing, but if you're just having people over informally, it's understood that unless someone is in the neighborhood or hanging out with you beforehand, they will show up between half an hour or an hour past that time unless otherwise stated. Never be the first to arrive or the last to leave.

A turn-off? No, definitely not. It just makes me feel bad for being late ALL the time.


I generally make it to work on time, give or take a couple minutes. Everything else, though, I'm pretty notorious for being late. I'll tell people I'll meet them at "8-ISH," which gives me a bit of a window.

Yeah, I'm like that too.

I always show up early for things. It's exceedingly rare that I'm late, and usually if I am late, it is because of some mitigating circumstance that was out of my control. Most people who know me know if I'm late that something is wrong :lol:

I can't tolerate a lack of punctuality in others. It's inconsiderate.

ive been told that i'd turn up late for my own funeral.

If you're late, you're late, it happens.

If you're late but didn't bother to call, I will be pissed.

If you're late because you didn't organise your ass, AND didn't bother to call, I will be so pissed I may well not invite you again.

this is exactly why I am the way I am...I think as a child I never got anywhere when I was supposed to be there lol. For me though, Im always 15 minutes early.

Hell I dont have to be at work til 630 but Im there at 6 am every day

I find time processing to be very interesting. This isn't just a cultural issue, but a biological one as well. Culturally, I think everyone knows that some cultures are more time-focused than others. Shani wants guests to arrive to an 8:00 party at 8, whereas when I was going to my Italian professor's house for a dinner with classmates, she expected us to be at least half an hour late. How the Germans and Italians managed to ally in WWII I'll never know! Beyond culture, individuals process time differently as well. There are past-focused individuals, present-focused individuals, and future-focused individuals. Combine that with other factors, like attention deficit disorder, which is also linked to chronic tardiness, and it all paints a picture that punctuality is far more complex than we give it credit for.

Personally, I come from an Italian heritage with an ADD brain... I'm rarely on time. I make sure to make up for it by almost always staying late at work and making it clear that my tardiness does not reflect my level of respect for the job or coworkers. It's just part of my brain chemistry, so I try not to beat myself up over it and instead focus on doing what it takes to adjust to it in a time-focused world.

The thing is, it's common for very punctual people to view another person's lateness as disrespectful towards them. It's not. At least, not for most people. I'm actually a little surprised this is still an issue, as we learn more and more about how fundamentally different people can be. My friends know I'm likely to be late, and it's accepted as an aspect of my personality just as I accept unique aspects of their own.

What's truly amazing is that people manage to get along so well when there are so many dichotomous variations in personal predispositions. Some people are more likely to be spiritual (whether that manifest itself in organized religion or something else), while others are more inclined to doubt. Some people have more prefrontal white matter and are more likely to be imaginative and/or tell white lies, while others prefer a "just the facts, ma'am" approach. And, some people are finely attuned to the passing of time while others aren't.

I try to remember that others have a greater time focus than I do, and do what I can to accommodate them when we make plans.

I also don't blame them for thinking differently from me when they arrive at 8 and I really meant 8:15 ;)

---------- Post added at 03:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:49 PM ----------

This is also a factor. I focused on the nature side in my post, because that's what I'm most familiar with, but there is indeed a nurture element as well. And then the world gets really crazy when you realize the nature sometimes causes the nurture, and the nurture sometimes causes the nature.... humans are complicated!

...

punctuality and reliability are good personal strengths. Its almost like house work, no one notices it unless you don't do it. It is not a turn off, its always good to know when you can depend on someone.

There's a difference between casually running late and being 3 hours late. When someone tells me "why didn't you call me before you left instead of just showing up at the time we agreed upon", that is a cop-out. Lesson learned... my time is more valuable than waiting for people who can't recognize that being respectful of my time is important to me.

because of the audience, not the production team/actors. Houses extend time because of two things: they have sold out before the show begins and are waiting for it to fill OR they haven't sold house and are hoping stragglers come. Almost always the case.

But we are describing something completely different. I'm talking about the majority of the job: the preparation takes a lot of regiment and punctuality. Theatre commands a ridiculous amount of commitment and focus that most jobs do not. It's endless reflection and expression. Being early and fully prepared to begin the work is a huge part of that.

Yeah, that's no good. If the late person doesn't recognize that they're late and at fault, that is an issue. Agreeing upon a time to meet and then blaming you for their being late? Unacceptable. And this is coming from a late person!He speaks the truth! While you're sitting in your seat waiting for the show to being, the actors are standing backstage waiting for the show to begin. And believe me, they are itching for the show to start too!

Punctuality is many social circles is no big deal. But for me, punctuality-- in such things as keeping a date, starting a meeting, a business appointment, and anything where someone else must wait on me if I arrive late--is very important, so much so that I will avoid all future dealings with anyone who proves themselves to be habitually unreliable.

Besides, imagine how late curtain would be if the cast all straggled in 15 or 20 minutes after call...

A person's punctuality is an expression of the power of their word. If I say I'll be at Shani's at 8 (unless my angle is to get shacked below-stairs), then I've given my word to something and as a man of my word, I'm going to honor that word. Now, I might break my word sometimes, but I can always honor my word--by not pretending I didn't say 8:00, or that my saying 8:00 and showing up at 8:01 is no big deal. I can acknowledge the word I gave and that I'm breaking it. That leaves my word with power. In other words, being later than 8:00 IS a big deal, but not because of the lateness. It's a big deal because of how it leaves me relating to my word.

ASU2003 doesn't care about punctuality because he's set his life up so that punctuality doesn't matter. One of two things is going on in his life: either his word has zero power anywhere and he's just flailing around everywhere in his life, or he's reserving his word for the things that DO matter to him, and when-he'll-be-where just isn't one of those. Of those two, the former is WAY more likely, but it's possible the latter is the case.

I used to be chronically late. Late late, like hours late. I never realized how inconsiderate it was of me to impinge on the other individual I had agreed to meet up with at a specific time.

So not only is it about my word as ratbastid states, but also my consideration of someone else's time. If I didn't honor someone else's time how could I expect someone to honor mine? "Dude, I flaked" is an acceptable excuse to miss an appointment or not join a group of friends. Irritated me to no end, and when I realized I was also doing it. I decided to change my ways.

I am no longer late, generally early. I leave with ample time between appointments and meetings. I am able to backtrack my time to make sure that I have enough time to be where I am supposed to be even if I have never been there before.

It is important to me, and if it's not important to you, you're going to be treated as a different class of friend/business associate.

I'm usually early, rarely late. But I don't get offended if someone is late a lot either. Some people just can't focus on time like others can. Its just the same as I don't expect everyone to be able to run 5 miles; some people just can't do it.

I'd consider myself an anal-retentive asshole if I expected time-accuracy within 15-20 minutes. So many things can happen in fifteen minutes that it's entirely human to lose 15-20 minutes to complications. Similarly, I'd consider myself a selfish asshole if I expected people to wait half an hour for me when we agreed on a time.

I try to be flexible in all things, so I really have no hard feelings if someone is 15-20 minutes early or 15-20 minutes late. But if I'm more than half an hour late, I don't expect whomever I'm meeting to wait around, and I won't wait around either.

...you can rely on me...i'm reliably 10 minutes late everytime, anytime, anywhere, anywho...except work...the timeclock speaks to me.


:rose:

My brother is an outstanding person, but he is never anywhere on time. I'm not sure if he just isn't aware of how frustrating it is for other people to wait on him, or he just doesn't care.