Icebreakers for a shy girl? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

BogeyDope · 04-20-2009, 05:58 PM

I was wondering if any of you had any tips to break the ice, or better yet to help bring out a more open side to a shy girl.

The back story to this:

There is a girl in one of my classes that I have had quite a liking for the past few weeks. Long story short, I finally found the guts to talk to her, which led to us hanging out for a night. She isn't from the U.S., and she hasn't been many places the last year or so, so I decided to take her out and show her some spots around the city. We walked, we talked, we ate, we laughed, etc etc, but the entire time she was extremely quite and reserved. When I talked to her about this, she told me that she is pretty shy, and when asked if she saw it as a problem, she said yes. I was wondering if you had any tips for me, any conversation starters, anything I can do or say to help her be more open, and to help increase the flow of communication between us. Any icebreakers or topics are fine, just things in general that will help a person be more open and help keep a conversation going.

FuglyStick · 04-20-2009, 06:12 PM

Sounds like you're doing everything right. With someone reserved, you may have to venture into the territory that you would normally avoid, talking about yourself. It's a fine line--you don't want to appear to be self absorbed--but hit your likes and hobbies, see if you can't find the topic she feels strongly enough about to open up to you.

And there's the possibility she won't open up. Then you'll have to decide how badly you want to pursue it.

BogeyDope · 04-20-2009, 10:00 PM

Well, I guess if I may ask a more specific question, what are some topics that can help keep a conversation going, or at the least help me explore her personality and background better, short of asking it bluntly? What are some comedic approaches?

Crack · 04-21-2009, 02:19 AM

you said she wasn't from the US, where is she from? Learn a bit of her native language and butcher it badly, this will get her laughing and she will help you out with pronunciation ask her to teach you some of the dirty words. Find a restaurant that serves food from her home country, perhaps she will open up a bit when she feels more at home and relaxed.

Also, tell her she as pretty eyes, I hear girls like that.

BogeyDope · 04-21-2009, 06:51 AM

haha she's from Ireland. I don't know how well I can butcher that accent. Plus, what context did you have in mind that would prevent it from being seemed as offensive?

Pretty eyes. She sure does.

highthief · 04-21-2009, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeneralMao

haha she's from Ireland. I don't know how well I can butcher that accent. Plus, what context did you have in mind that would prevent it from being seemed as offensive?

Pretty eyes. She sure does.

Maybe she speaks Gaelic - that would impress her!

thingstodo · 04-22-2009, 11:55 AM

I personally like the t-shirt I saw in a movie a few years back. The front say "Hey there good lookin'." and the back said "Fancy a fuck?"

nomcat · 04-22-2009, 12:59 PM

+

Seriously, just keep at it... not too keenly of course. And find stuff that doesn't require lots of talking, or something that you guys can talk about... watch a movie, gallery, museum etc. Once she's more relaxed around you she'll open up.

FuglyStick · 04-22-2009, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nomcat

+

Nomcat, if you were female, you'd have just advanced to third base at least.

piismyname · 04-29-2009, 02:34 PM

I think people tend to be more shy when they are 'out of their element' and more confident when they are in a position of knowledge or power, however minor and arbitrary. What activities does she like to do? Is there a game she is good at? ask her to teach you how to play. is she an art lover? Have her guide you through a museum. Does she like to cook? ask her to teach you how to make scrambled eggs. If she is also physically shy, and things progress well, having her teach you how to ice skate/roller blade/dance/golf/whatever can be a great way to initiate physical flirting, since she'll need to hold your hand/help you off the ground/whatever.

04-20-2009, 05:58 PM	#1 (permalink)
BogeyDope Crazy	Icebreakers for a shy girl? I was wondering if any of you had any tips to break the ice, or better yet to help bring out a more open side to a shy girl. The back story to this: There is a girl in one of my classes that I have had quite a liking for the past few weeks. Long story short, I finally found the guts to talk to her, which led to us hanging out for a night. She isn't from the U.S., and she hasn't been many places the last year or so, so I decided to take her out and show her some spots around the city. We walked, we talked, we ate, we laughed, etc etc, but the entire time she was extremely quite and reserved. When I talked to her about this, she told me that she is pretty shy, and when asked if she saw it as a problem, she said yes. I was wondering if you had any tips for me, any conversation starters, anything I can do or say to help her be more open, and to help increase the flow of communication between us. Any icebreakers or topics are fine, just things in general that will help a person be more open and help keep a conversation going. __________________ Focus. Control. Conviction. Resolve. A true ace lacks none of these attributes. Nothing can deter you from the task at hand except your own fears. This is your sky.

04-20-2009, 06:12 PM	#2 (permalink)
FuglyStick WHEEEE! Whee! Whee! WHEEEE! Location: Southern Illinois	Sounds like you're doing everything right. With someone reserved, you may have to venture into the territory that you would normally avoid, talking about yourself. It's a fine line--you don't want to appear to be self absorbed--but hit your likes and hobbies, see if you can't find the topic she feels strongly enough about to open up to you. And there's the possibility she won't open up. Then you'll have to decide how badly you want to pursue it. __________________ AZIZ! LIGHT!

04-20-2009, 10:00 PM	#3 (permalink)
BogeyDope Crazy	Well, I guess if I may ask a more specific question, what are some topics that can help keep a conversation going, or at the least help me explore her personality and background better, short of asking it bluntly? What are some comedic approaches? __________________ Focus. Control. Conviction. Resolve. A true ace lacks none of these attributes. Nothing can deter you from the task at hand except your own fears. This is your sky.

04-21-2009, 02:19 AM	#4 (permalink)
Crack Misanthropic Location: Ohio! yay!	you said she wasn't from the US, where is she from? Learn a bit of her native language and butcher it badly, this will get her laughing and she will help you out with pronunciation ask her to teach you some of the dirty words. Find a restaurant that serves food from her home country, perhaps she will open up a bit when she feels more at home and relaxed. Also, tell her she as pretty eyes, I hear girls like that. __________________ Crack, you and I are long overdue for a vicious bout of mansex. ~Halx

04-21-2009, 06:51 AM	#5 (permalink)
BogeyDope Crazy	haha she's from Ireland. I don't know how well I can butcher that accent. Plus, what context did you have in mind that would prevent it from being seemed as offensive? Pretty eyes. She sure does. __________________ Focus. Control. Conviction. Resolve. A true ace lacks none of these attributes. Nothing can deter you from the task at hand except your own fears. This is your sky.

04-22-2009, 11:55 AM	#7 (permalink)
thingstodo A Storm Is Coming Location: The Great White North	I personally like the t-shirt I saw in a movie a few years back. The front say "Hey there good lookin'." and the back said "Fancy a fuck?" __________________ If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves. Stangers have the best candy.

04-22-2009, 12:59 PM	#8 (permalink)
nomcat Twisted Location: UK	+ Seriously, just keep at it... not too keenly of course. And find stuff that doesn't require lots of talking, or something that you guys can talk about... watch a movie, gallery, museum etc. Once she's more relaxed around you she'll open up. __________________ There are many powers in the world, for good or for evil. Some are greater than I am. Against some I have not yet been measured. But my time is coming. Last edited by nomcat; 04-22-2009 at 01:02 PM..

04-29-2009, 02:34 PM	#10 (permalink)
piismyname Upright Location: massachusetts	I think people tend to be more shy when they are 'out of their element' and more confident when they are in a position of knowledge or power, however minor and arbitrary. What activities does she like to do? Is there a game she is good at? ask her to teach you how to play. is she an art lover? Have her guide you through a museum. Does she like to cook? ask her to teach you how to make scrambled eggs. If she is also physically shy, and things progress well, having her teach you how to ice skate/roller blade/dance/golf/whatever can be a great way to initiate physical flirting, since she'll need to hold your hand/help you off the ground/whatever.