Unlimited Sexting: What to Do About Teens and Their Dumb Naked Photos of Themselves
 

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What to do about teens and their dumb naked photos of themselves. - By Dahlia Lithwick - Slate Magazine

There is a school I know of where this occurred, but with one minor complication--the male student who received the pictures was over 18. Kids were unaware of the implications of "sexting" and the consequences. While it's a harsh consequence to be labeled as a sex offender, there ought to be a harsh consequence, though I'm not this consequence is the right one. We ought to figure out a better way to deal with these cases, and we ought to start talking about it so that kids do know the consequences of such actions.

It's a clear example of cultural lag--the laws haven't yet caught up with the technology.

If it's even available in 13 years, my daughter's cell will have the camera either not present or disabled.

Mosaic makes a good point. Kids questionably need cell phones at all, but they certainly don't need ones with a f'ing camera. Parents need to be responsible and think ahead before giving their kids a phone.

To the original issue, I don't think that labeling as sex offenders is the right course of action. I don't know what is, but sex offender status is already a problem in this country. You get on the same list with pedophile rapists if you take a piss outside at Mardi Gras.

One problem with 'sexting' is that people don't have a lot of control over who sends you what. The act of receiving a file shouldn't be a crime. Instead, it should be based on what you did with the file after receiving it that is the deciding factor in whether or not a crime was committed.

The "appropriate" action would be to delete it and inform the sender that what they sent was not appropriate and not to do it again.

Don't get me started on the retardedness of the Sex Offender Registry and how ass backwards some of these crimes are, all (even these child prosecutions) in the name of "protecting the children."

Sex offender registry is retarded because if these people are still dangerous enough to need to alert society, why are they out of jail?

Consider how this article begins: "Say you're a middle school principal who has just confiscated a cell phone from a 14-year-old boy, only to discover it contains a nude photo of his 13-year-old girlfriend."

See the root of the problem, here?

When I was 18, back in the '80s, I was having sex with my 17-year-old girlfriend; and, yes, we once exchanged Polaroid photos of our individual selves nude, with each other. (Note, however, there was nothing "innocent" about it.) But, hey, at least we were old enough to know that we needed to keep those photos as hidden and safe as possible. (For example, we did not show them to our friends, nor did we keep them lying around for other people to find them, like stuck in between the pages of a school textbook or something like that.)

But nowadays, it's teenagers ages 13-15 engaging in this sort of thing; and, well, there's worlds of difference in maturity and common sense between teenagers ages 13-15 and teenagers ages 17-19.

I get going after the kids who disseminate the pictures, spreading them beyond the initial intended audience.

But I don't get charging the sender of the picture, or even the recipient if the recipient didnt spread it around. I mean, isn't the whole basis of child pornography laws the idea that even if the teen or child consents to something, they are too young and naive to make that decision? So these kids are being charged with felonies because apparently they are old enough to know better, but not old enough to consent?

I get the need to be thorough, otherwise real child pornographers could use that as a loophole and basically use what looks like self portraits as a cover. But when that clearly is not the case, I think it is a perversion of the system to treat the 14 year old girl who sent a shot of herself topless to a boyfriend the same way as the 35 year old who likes to take pictures of naked 11 year olds...

None of this should be criminal. We should, however, educate.

Also, that article needs pics.

I think one major problem is context. Is the kid in question an otherwise "good" kid that made a questionable judgment call? Is the kid a "bad" kid on the road to worse problems? Was the kid exploited?

We lump all these people into one category and expect the "law" to deal with it. What we end up doing is creating more people who are ashamed and repressed. We end up creating victims and predators. These kids don't need any kind of legal intervention (unless they were exploited in some way). If the kid is not aware of the possible outcome of this kind of behavior (self-made nude photographs) then there is something wrong. The parents did not do their job.

Do I think that teenagers should be photographing themselves nude? No. However, what's the difference between a 13-15 year-old taking nude photos of themselves and an 18+ year-old? Really ... when it gets down to it ... nothing. They are doing it for the same reasons: attention and "kicks." Unless there is an adult taking the photographs there's really no difference. Maturity? I'm pretty sure that a teenager taking nude photographs is well aware of the possible outcome ... possibly MORESO than an adult--especially, if their parents have been honest with them about sexuality. There is more to the "sex talk" than just the penis and vagina relationship. The sex talk needs to include broken hearts and angry ex-lovers and jealousy. It needs to include love and commitment and devotion. Choices.

Some people will say that the pictures might fall into the wrong hands or be spread all over the internet by "immature" friends or jilted lovers.

Wait a minute ... there are ENTIRE websites devoted to just that sort of thing (for photographs of adults). There are websites devoted to adults being "exploited" not just jilted lovers posting nude photos of their ex-lovers (even non-consensual photographs). I don't think it has much to do with maturity.

Teenagers are sexual beings ... hell, my daughter is 7 and she's starting to explore (and has been for a few years now). They are going to do whatever they can to experiment with that sexuality.

This latest media generated craze (sexting) is just another diversion in a long line of diversions. It has more to do with protecting parents from having to deal with their rapidly maturing children than protecting the children themselves.

Again, I'm at work so my thoughts might seem a little random as I keep getting interrupted. I apologize.

So the principal who confiscates the phone and sees the pics of the 13 year old girl, can he be then charged with viewing child pornography?

If the kids get charged, then I hope so. Why is the principal looking at the kid's pics?

I'm pretty sure that checking a cell phone's pictures would be considered an invasion of privacy.

Some people are dumb enough to make a nude photo the screensaver/background on their phone or computer.

Just saying.

It's stupid. Our bodies are natural and while I wouldn't want my imaginary kid doing it, it ain't right to punish it like that. Sickos are out there, they always will be, but pictures of kids don't create them.

A guy at work does this (he's over age, but still proves how people think). He has a naked shot of his GF as his phone wallpaper.

I've not met her, but when I do, I'm wondering if I should mention that she's got a cute vagina. :paranoid:

And teens are stupider than 20-somethings, generally.

WTF!!! America, please stop labelling kids as "sex offenders." DO you know what a sex offender is?!?!?! Really one may not be able to get a job because he has the same status as a paedophille or rapist?! It's just not the same.

Typically what happens in these kinds of cases is that girl sends boy nude pic on his cell phone, sometime later they break up, and then boy flashes said pic of nude girl around school. THAT is when the principal typically ends up looking at pictures on a phone, and they're fully justified in doing so.

And just so you know, "privacy" as adults enjoy it does not exist in public school.

Snowy... That still doesn't give anyone the right to go through the kid's phones.

FTFY...and the problem suddenly solves itself!

I see why kids should not have their "privacy". That's just stupid. I dont know why y'all don't cane their asses!! I also dont see whty they have cell f'kn phones!! Also stupid, I do see the method of judgement and punishment is over it!! Kids should be punished for this kind of behaviour, .....but not like this, not like this for the love of god!!

Not even the parents have the right.



Isn't anything allowed to be private.

No, it doesn't, but that's the way it is. The standards are different. The Supreme Court says that public schools can search and seize so long as there is "reasonable suspicion", not probable cause. Again, there is cultural lag here--searching cell phones has yet to be legally challenged, and so it is presumed that the standard for other searches (lockers, backpacks, etc) applies.

My general advice to kids is to leave the phone at home. Most schools won't allow a cell phone anyways, so why take it on campus? At the school I work at, so much as seeing a cell phone out during school hours is grounds for confiscation. By leaving it at home, kids can protect their privacy, keep it from getting stolen, and keep it from being a distraction during the school day. Unfortunately, students tend to see cell phones as their "lifeline."

If parents can be held responsible for their children's actions/debts (and they CAN), then they have the right to go through their kid's stuff (probably bought by parents anyway) to ensure that their children are not participating in illegal activities.

Period.

Protecting kids from predatory adults is one thing, but kids sending nude pics to each other is "playing doctor" for the 21st century. There's little to no harm in consensual sexual experimentation between adolescents. Kids need to learn that actions have consequences, and they need to be educated rather than branded for it.

If the kids are participating in something illegal then the parents have already failed...

So what you are suggesting is that the parents are not allowed to monitor their childrens' activities due to privacy concerns, but it's still mom and dad's fault when the kids do something that the parents don't know about. . .

No. It's up to the parents to teach their children the difference from right and wrong. If the child is raised properly there will never be an occasion where the parents would have to violate the child's privacy.

Children make mistakes. Sometimes the only way to discover those mistakes is to violate their privacy. No child is going to get everything right the first time; parenting isn't about preventing kids from making mistakes, it's about correcting them when the inevitable mistakes occur.

A mistake like sending naked pictures of yourself is best corrected by parents, not the schools or courts.

I dunno, I think parents have the right to violate their kid's privacy, but no one else.

I think we are probably misusing the word "violate." Parents have a responsibility to their children to follow up and check on their behavior. This must be done with respect though. If you repeatedly violate the trust your child has in you they will find better ways to hide their behavior rather than correct it.

EDIT: In fact, as they get older they'll find better ways to avoid getting into trouble anyway. Hopefully, the parent(s) have done a decent job at teaching the child how to behave ... whatever "behave" actually means within a particular society.

What, have you never heard of teenage rebellion?

:rolleyes:

You know, where a teenager goes against what they were taught by their parents, and does their own thing and/or gives into peer/cultural pressure, even if they know (or at least, they were taught) that it's self-destructive.

Actually yes. I was a teenager once. But no. I actually respected my parents.


Yes, I did drugs, drank, fucked, ditched school and did all those things associated with teenage rebellion. But I never gave my parents a reason to spy on me or go through my stuff when I wasn't home. They knew what I was doing.

So, what, your parents knew about your drinking, drug use, and playing hooky, when you were a teenager, but they overlooked it? Because, why, they trusted you?

:orly:

Actually... yes.




Now I must tell you that my parents were hippies. And yes, I'm stereotyping.

I violate my kid's "privacy" all the time. My 14-year-old son's Facebook, Myspace and internet use is open to my snooping whenever I feel like it. He is also only allowed to use the computer in the living room where we can look over his shoulder at anytime. His mobile phone is subject to the same rules.

As I see it, his actions on the Internet are no different than what he would do if he was hanging out with his friends and you can be sure I would be checking out who he was hanging out with. I have to ask, would you trust your 10 or 12 year old to go hang out at a club unsupervised?

I don't plan on being this way past his 16th or 17th birthday. I think it is important to provide guidelines and expectations and then follow up on them.

I should also add that we talk about online saftey and smarts... just like talking to your kids about street smarts.

I want to give him as much information about things as possible, I want him to be able to look after himself and take responsibility for his actions online the same way I expect him to do this in meatspace.

I understand the point of keeping an eye on your kids and your kid's actions. On and off the internet.


But I don't have kids... So I guess my opinion is pointless.

I LOL'd out loud. You actually think you can raise ANY child properly so as not to ever have to discipline them ever?! I'm a good kid, I work, have a job, get a hair cut ... I attribute all this to discipline. One way or another, they will make mistakes, and you must let them know, one way or another,

"YOU MUST NOT CROSS THE ROAD LIKE THAT EVER, DO YOU HEAR ME!!"

So you laughed out loud... out loud... ? That's impressive.

I wouldn't say pointless.. just different. I remember before I had kids I had this whole list of stuff that I would never do as a parent..

yeah that all changes when you're holding a little person who is dependent on you for survival and training..

Yes you did. You did drugs, drank, fucked, and ditched school.

Then that's more a reflection on their parental aptitude than it is an example of sound child-rearing. When a kid is doing wrong it is the parent's job to correct the behavior - something the parent can't do if they either don't know about it or ignore it.

There is no such thing as violating your child's privacy. The child has no privacy. If the child is mature enough to enjoy complete privacy and no parental check-ups on what his activites and interests are, then the child is mature enough to move out and get a job.

We as a society recognize that children do not reliably make good decisions. This is why kids aren't allowed to drive, can't enter into binding contracts, and get their criminal records wiped clean once they become an adult. It is rather silly to admit that a kid is not mature enough to reliably avoid making harmful choices, and then turn around and preach that children should be given strict privacy, and that parents should never try to find out if the kid is doing something he shouldn't.

Yeah... It still frightens me that you've spawned.

I imagine we're all fliping out now over this latest thing that kids are doing, but down the line, it will be included in one of those talks that parents have with their child along with the sex talk (the birds and the bees), the talk about drugs, the talk about gangs, the talk about college, how to drive, and other heart to heart mother/father and son/dauther talks as their child comes of age.

Well, first off, the notion that kids who are stupid enough to text each other some nude pictures deserve to be treated by the police as criminal sex offenders is repugnant, and it is also overkill to the point of extreme stupidity. Kids are going to mess around. It's happened since Day One. Trying to pretend our little darlings are, or ought to be, icons of chaste innocence and purity until they walk out the door to go to college is stupid enough-- trying to enforce that with draconian laws demanding sexual puritanism is even stupider.

What does it solve to give a 14-year-old boy an indelible stigma that will follow him forever, not to mention the psychological trauma that must go along with being arrested and labeled a pedophile-- while you're still an adolescent!?! How will it make things better that instead of the two kids being terminally embarrassed that their principal and their parents have seen fit to confront them about their emergent sex lives, and have all seen them naked in a sexual context; instead they also have to know a bunch of policemen and women have seen them, are privy to their private sex lives, their pubescent mistakes and stumbling attempts at erotic play?!

Do I think it is sensible or desirable that adolescents be sending each other home-posed sex pictures? Not really. But I also think we are all entitled to make our own mistakes, to experience our own voyages of sexual self-discovery, for better or worse. All we can do is talk to our kids early and frankly about sexual responsibility, and make sure they know we're there, and give them the trust to do what they think is best when they can, and to come talk to us if they can't-- which we then have to make sure they'll do, by establishing that it's safe for them to tell us things, and that we won't fly off the handle and punish them for help with the hard decisions.

This is a tough balance: they live in a world that's technologically very different from the one we all grew up in; but some things don't change, they just change shape. We all messed around as kids. Maybe the reason we didn't send each other nude pics at 13 is because we lacked the technology. But certainly not for lack of desire. Kids will do this. Why every generation seems so surprised by it is a mystery to me.

I lost it at 13, myself, complete with some stupid risks and a little grown-up sex play, and you know what? It wasn't the end of the world. It wasn't the best choice I ever made, but it wasn't the worst. And the world kept on turning, and I grew up, and became the modestly functional and mostly ethical rabbinical student I am today.

No reason anyone and everyone else shouldn't be given the same opportunity.

Kosher phone taps into new market for mobiles - Times Online
While this is an extreme example, but I know some orthodox jewish communities that will only allow these phones for children, and in today's environment out there I do not think it is a giant leap for me to consider it (well in 10 years maybe when my daughter is old enough for a phone).

I do believe we have to address the sexuality that children are open to, and that can be huge thread in itself. The truth is this is child porn, and does really open up children to predators out there, and people need to teach the kids how this is unacceptable. But I do feel that it is criminal the question is how to punish and I would rather it be in the form of community service for first time offenders versus being labeled a sex offender.

I will agree that most parents are probably blind to how quickly their children grow up and they always want to think of them as their babies.. but parents need to be involved in their kids lives..they need to talk and inform them of the dangers. It's not going to stop much, but at least they can have some information when they start to do stupid things.

I'm not even going to address the criminal charges as they are so completely out of touch it sickens me. I cannot believe that anyone thinks that placing a sex offender tag on the kids for this type of behavior is actually going to solve anything.

hooray for the justice system.. fucking things up as always.

:rolleyes:

For the record, I don't do it when he isn't home or behind his back. I do search it while he is present. I want him to know that I am keeping an eye on him.

And like others, before I had kids I had one opinion... once you have one it kind of changes things.


Further: I too had a trusting parent. She would let me go out and drink and party (so long as I called her at midnight to let her know where I was). But that didn't happen until I was 15+. I plan on giving my kids the same sort of trust as they reach the age where they are going out with friends,etc.

From the article it's hard to tell why he thought it necessary to go through the kid's phone. I thinks it's just as likely that the principal is a perve, and was hoping to find something juicy in the phone.

Wouldn't it be cheaper to just scribble on the lens with a sharpie?

OMG, these were SOOOOOO popular last year when I was living in J'lem! Seemed like everyone who wore a black hat was getting these: not just Haredi (very Orthodox) parents for their kids, but every other boy I met in yeshiva (seminary/Bible College) had them, and just about every unmarried girl.... Plus, they had a phone plan that charged them next to nothing per minute for talking six days a week, but charged them outrageously inflated fees if they placed any calls on Shabbat (during the Sabbath, when Orthodox Jews consider themselves prohibited from using the telephone).

I didn't even know you could get something like that in America....

Or you could just put a dot of nail polish or paint on the lens and block sms/mms and Internet access.

Uh, TwistedMosaic, MSD... how much of a challenge is removing nail polish to a teen girl? :rolleyes:

...

Yeah, I'd use a Dremel tool on the camera lens. Nail polish and marker come off far too easily. Used to use it in the army to shrink the display windows of various gear to minimize the face-glow effect. If you dig out that camera lens and literally pop the eye out of that pr0n-makin' monster, you've solved the sexting picture problem permanently. I don't know of anybody that repairs cellphones, they're just expensive disposable technology these days.

...

Reading World's King's parenting philosophy makes me want to go get that vasectomy I've been planning. For kids, privacy is a luxury and privilege, not a right. This man-eat-child, children-screwing, law-fucks-everybody world has only reinforced the need for stronger parenting practices. CYA, fo real.

RIGHT?? Kids do not need privacy they need DISCIPLINE!! Remember for a second in the real world, not fantasy land, how you acted as a kid. regardless of what your knee-jerk reaction is about to be, you definitely hid things from your parents. my parents were very very strict and I got away with a ton of things. I shudder to think of what kids with lax parents are getting away with...like texting naked pictures of themselves to each other! Privacy? WTF not under my roof.

Studies show that children actually cherish boundaries and will frequently test them just to find out where they are. If there aren't any, they'll just keep testing further and further out until some lunatic lawyer with a hard on decides your 14 y/o girl is a sex offender b/c she texted a pic of herself in a training bra to her 15 y/o virgin boyfriend. PLEASE just discipline your children and this would not happen. Parents: go through your (children's) stuff on a regular basis regardless of what they say. You paid for the damn things anyway. Phones are ABSOLUTELY no exception

In all of this, what I find more astonishing is that we've normalized violence and made sexuality taboo.

I'd love to know why we've done this. This is fairly unique to Americans, this normalization of violence and shaming of sexuality. I really don't understand where our culture got this notion and why we perpetuate it.

Not that I condone what happened, but puberty is nature's way of telling us we're sexually mature and nature trumps nurture any day - just ask Siegfried and Roy.

Did you just compare this thread to a man being mauled by a tiger? Nice.

That's how we've been forever. I blame white people. I can see fifty people being decapitated on broadcast, but not one bouncing boob. It's depressing.

...

And I don't give a flying Giant Hamburger about sexuality and nature vs. nurture and all that happy philosophy crap. That's for old people with beards to kick around. I'm only worried about the idiotic life-destroying "sex offender" label getting stuck on my kid and whatever litigation-happy douchebag and/or police officer is knocking on my door. I've seen the law in this country perverted and allowed to literally destroy people for no good logical reason. It scares the hell out of me and I'm not afraid of a whole lot in this world.

Seriously... you might as well put a gun in your mouth if you get a sex offender label in the US. You can't live a normal life again. Ever.

Mini-rant:

I fully expect my offspring to be bumping their Crungle at 15. I do, however, also expect them to make the right choices about it and keep it to themselves and off the airwaves. I'm pro-abortion, too... so they better not make me a grandfather until they're done with college or I've got got a coat hanger and a stretch of Carolina swamp where nobody will notice the smell. Ugh. Shitty parenting today kills me. You are not your child's friend... you are the drill sergeant screaming hard-learned lessons at them so they don't go and get themselves killed when they get sent to the combat zone of Real Life (TM). It's serious shit and I lay awake at night sometimes thinking about what would have happened if someone hadn't kicked my ass when I was a teenager and straightened me out.

...

Deep breath. Okay. Okay, I'm done.

There's a really cool discussion within that question. It's a Chicken-Egg question. Are people finding weirder and stupider things to do because there is more and more regulation, or is there more and more regulation because people are doing stupid and weird things.

I personally think the problem is social; but, hey, I'm a 22 year old liberal. There is so much sexual and personal oppression in North America that it's borderline impossible to explore without a) breaking the law, or b) being taboo. I mean, kids exploring their own sexuality shouldn't be taboo. We all did it. And I know that no one wants their kids to be subject to being harassed and teased because they sent a nude picture to someone and they forwarded it to a million people (see the "documentary" American Teen for a great example) but that's the nature of the beast.

When does it stop is my question. I'm not crusading against some angsty Orwellian Social disease, but at some point we won't have room to breathe. Are we really protecting kids by doing this? I know someone said "it isn't these pictures that make perverts" and I couldn't agree more. We are just trimming the leaves by doing this. There has to be a better way of regulating shit like this than "Hey, you! 15 year old who is trying to figure out who they are! Your a pervert and disgusting for being a TEENAGER!"

It's kind of disgusting.

Tie-dye philosophy is great, but don't rock the boat if the crew will call you a sex offender and toss you overboard.

You might not like the boat or approve of how the crew does things, but don't piss 'em off unless you're got Plan B.

...

I'm thinking Canada is looking better and better as I get older.

As I was reading down through the post's to this thread I was thinking a similar thought. How does this supposed principal know there are nude photos on this phone? Was the boy dumb enough to have it saved as the background of his phone? I would hope he was smarter then that. So if this was not the case the principal went searching through the phone specifically to see what was on it. So he then should be in some sort of privacy violation shouldn't he?

This just drives me crazy that parents these days are just giving their kids cell phones. I didn't have one till i was 18 and able to get it on my own and pay for it myself. I see the benefits of having one but there are so many options out there that they don't have to have a phone with all the bells and whistles.

Now I'm not going to lie, I have myself sent provocative photos via picture messaging before and probably still will to my significant other. But I would educate my children about all these types of things and by no means would I even let them know I did a such a thing.

I personally send the photo then delete it and I have the hopes the the person receiving the photo sees it then does the same eventually. Only because of the many reasons for it to no be found on your phone. or if you have a phone that you can hide files then damn it do so.

Knowing that sometime in the next 5 to 7 years I will possibly be having children of my own; articles like these make me not want to even consider the possibility and this is on of the minor problems to look out for. Kids are just growing up way to fast and our society is not helping one bit.

you could always get you kids the cheap 19.00 phones from walmart with the LCD monochrome screens that send nor receive pictures. Although in the old days we would still print porn on dot matrix printers. (looked good from a distance) either way, kids will find a way around it. Doesn't mean you shouldn't try however...........

I knew girls that did this in highschool. They were usually with different guys every week and pretty dumb... not realizing consequences and such.

This has been going on forever and only now are people recognizing it?? In junior high this picture of a naked student was found, and just passed around...the teachers knew nothing of it, but all the students did. Of course, the girl in said picture cried to the principal after learning that her picture was being passed around and said that somebody had "framed" her and took a picture of her in the locker room. (Not true.. she was posing in her bedroom.) Girls need to stop thinking they need to please every guy they're with by taking incriminating photos of themselves and thinking he'll keep it to himself when the fact is he'll actually show all his friends.

Camwhores just totally piss me off. Well.. the free ones at least.. because they look for "sexual attention" and when they receive the wrong kind of attention they get so fucking butt hurt. They should've thought about that shit before they started acting like a fucking dumb ass.

Oh I understand that kids will find a way around things trust me. I'm not that far off from being a teenager. I am only 21 and still remember everything very vividly mind you. But the parents still need to do their part as parents to protect their children and aid them in making the right choices. That's what a parents job is.

Or shit give them the damn phone that has all the bells and whistles on it and just teach them and talk to them about the risks of what could happen.

I understand that I myself am not a parent but shit they still need to make sure they have those difficult talks with their kids. Mine sure did and I didn't do half the shit the my friends have done.

Sometimes talks don't work. Though, they do in a lot of cases, in some they just don't.

My friend's parents talked to her constantly about the dangers and consequences of drugs, unprotected sex, and other crap stupid people do and yet she was the only one among my friends to become an alcoholic, acquire an STD from her boyfriend, and allowed herself to be in an abusive relationship.

Sometimes kids just don't listen or don't care.

Do you have kids, World's King? You're saying that if a parent does his job right, the kid will never do anything illegal? I'm sorry, but you're bound to find that as a kid grows up, no matter how good his parents are, there's a good chance he might do something illegal. And it will be the responsibility of the parents/guardian.
Why not give the parents the right to monitor a bit of what goes on, then talk to their kid about why it's wrong? Or take care of the problem with a more appropriate solution, like confiscation.
You can be a great parent, but what if some chick decides to send your 17 year old boy a nude pic on his cell, she is 16 or 17, and he gets caught? The parent's responsible.

Good parenting is always good, but you need the right tools as a parent. One of them is oversight.

You know, girls sending naked pictures of themselves to their boyfriends really doesn't bother me. They get shared with a bunch of kids at school? Big deal. Maybe they'll learn something. In my adolescence, late 70s-early 80s, kids still fucked around, yes! And maybe there weren't pictures to go along with the stories, but the stories spreading around the school was just as bad FOR IT'S TIME.

Now it is the 21st century and kids are still fucking, but there is technology now that allows them to express their sexual enthusiasm in different ways. I think the outrageous reaction to this phenomenon perfectly encapsulates the obsession/denial relationship America has with sex. It's all great in films and television shows and music videos and beer commercials, but when it comes to real people expressing themselves sexually, it's seen as an unhealthy, negative thing to do that will ruin your life. Especially when we are talking about girls and women. If we want to encourage young women not to let their identity be swallowed up by their budding sexuality, then stop teaching them that it is the most beautiful, valuable and desirable thing they have to offer. Jesus, we're such hypocrites.

Amen to that.

Agreed fully. You said it better than I could. Teenage sexuality is perfectly normal. Putting people in the criminal justice system for this is a crime itself. Whatever happened to parenting? I am not a parent so maybe I have no clue but this seems like it should stay a private family matter. Now it's get the nanny state to save us from ourselves.

I agree it is ridiculous to prosecute anyone for something like this. Especially considering that the pictures are being taken by the girls themselves. Pictures like these should be private and if someone in authority who is not a parent comes across them, then the only people they should be accountable to are the parents. That said, I don't think people should be too harsh on the parents. Lots of good parents have children who either experiment sexually or are very active sexually. I don't think that a teenager having sex is necessarily indicative of bad behavior or bad parenting. Same goes for the taking of these pictures.

It's ridiculous to charge these kids with child pornography charges. I don't blame the kids; the entertainment industry is teaching them that young women are supposed to be sexually aggressive to attract men.

I blame the parents, plain and simple. No, not because they don't have the kids under 24/7 surveillance - that's simply not possible and would not be right anyway. I also don't blame their parenting in general; you can instill whatever great Christian values you want to your kid and as teenagers they will bend and break the norms you've taught them, because that's what teenagers do.

Getting a cell phone for your child is not a bad idea at all, in fact for the most part it is a great idea for keeping in touch and for emergencies. And while some have suggested getting a phone without a camera, that may be easier said than done as including a camera in a phone is becoming the standard, and it is doubtful manufacturers will continue to be producing phones without them.

However...there is no reason whatsoever for your child's phone to have a plan that allows for media messaging or text messaging. These are typically optional services anyway, and even if your family plan includes them, they can be disabled for specific numbers in the plan. You can also disable incoming messages entirely.

i will toss in my agreement that sex offender labels are too harsh for the majority of these kids. there may be some situations, like the three girls in PA I think, that were basically whoring out the other girls.

personally, my kids will be getting either cell phones with no cameras, or phones from a plan that I can have image texting turned off. i think i would want that distinction, texting is so huge with kids right now, but there is no reason they need to send photos.

---------- Post added at 10:03 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:01 AM ----------

and this, kids have no rights in school. they can search anything they want any time they want for basically no reason at all. in my school we weren't even allowed to have things left in our car that were not allowed. if they decided to search your belongings for some reason, they included your car in the parking lot when they went through your locker and bookbag. its all part of being a student in american public schools.

SEXting
 

Help!
I noticed my son, 15 yrs. old, was running up our cell phone bill. I quickly confiscated it and found pictures sent to him by an adult married woman, supposedly the wife of a "friend" he met playing Xbox. Now understand I gave him the whole, you can't trust who you talk to on line. There are people out there that will hurt you. Do not give out personal info, nor ask for any. And DO NOT do any thing tht you have been taught is wrong. He has been raised in a christian home and christian values.
I asked his best friends mom to check her sons phone and she found that the woman had text them asking for pictures of the boys be sent to her...they only sent a portrait head shot, unfortuntely my son sent "plenty" of pictures back to her.
I explained how wrong it is and that he essentually was cyber raped and that I was going to the police with the info and that she would be held responsible. He, instead of being embarrassed from being caught and by his mom, was upset because I was going to ruin her life. She has successfully brainwashed him.
Now my problem is, if I follow thru and take the phone/bill to the police in our small village, I am afraid he will be labeled for life, or worse arrested. He is a good boy and I know that it was probaly every young mans dream to be "LOVED" by an older woman, but I feel he was violated. This is worse than when a boy gets caught with a dirty magazine, the pictures don't talk back, ask you questions that would curl your hair. They aren't real...this woman is and she is preying on the innocence of youth. There's no telling how many young men she is playing with.
I have removed his Xbox from his room. He cannot be online without somone else present and positively no cell phone.
How do I hold her accountable without any further damage to my son and my family?
And can I go to the state police office instead of here local, for some type of privacy?
In this day and age sex is too readily available and whether you are looking or not it will find you...

Without knowing where you are in the world or what your intentions of "punishment" are, it's difficult to give you any advice.

Your son went along with it. Personally I think he knows what he is doing although you just have to make sure he doesnt give out any face shots and no personal info. People that you dont know are easy to walk away from online. The whole idea that he was violated is nonsense, there is no pure 15 year old boy out. Everyone of them wants some sort of sexual gratification and they will go to great lengths to get it.