abaya

When you get back from vacation, who do you call to let them know that you're home safely and okay? Do you call the same people when you take off on vacation, too? Or do you just not let anyone know when/where you're traveling, so that you don't have to deal with it? I wonder if this has changed for some people since 9/11, as well...

Ktspktsp and I have traveled a lot while we've lived in Iceland, both domestically and internationally. When I traveled in the US, I always made a point of contacting both my mom and dad both (separately, since they don't live together) before taking off, and after arriving, to let them know that I was okay. I figure this is common courtesy to relieve my parents from worrying about me, and I don't mind doing it.

However, living in Iceland, I get requests to notify both my grandma and aunt (who live here) anytime I travel a significant distance, even within Iceland. So now I contact my mom, my dad, my aunt, and also my grandma--that's at least 4 phone calls and/or e-mails on each side of my trips (and if I don't call them--they find me somehow).

It gets a bit old, even though of course I know they mean well. Naturally, I feel most responsible to my parents, but I think my aunt and grandma see themselves as my "guardians" while I'm living in Iceland... nice thought, but I'm almost 29. I don't want to be disrespectful, but not sure how to tell them to bug off in a nice way.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Cynthetiq

I used to call my parents or sister. Emphasis on used to.

We travel so much that it is silly to make those kinds of calls. Not to mention, my parents don't reciprocate it.

I do however try to let them know where we'll be staying so that in case of emergency they can reach me. In the advent of the worldwide cellphone, not as much a big deal.

I also will contact them during extended trips meaning greater than 1 week. This is important when overseas. I recall being in Madrid and then leaving for the La Mancha Plains when an ETA bomb blew up in the commerical center of Madrid. I contacted a friend via IM and had her call my sister and father to let them know I was okay and was not in Madrid at all.

I've also gotten into the habit of contacting the US Embassy when travelling, letting them know that I'm in town and where I am staying in case of any civil unrest. This was important in the Philippines and India.

I just don't call. There's no need to tell them anything. Telling them makes it a discussion and it's really not up for discussion. If and when the bring it up, I've told relatives, "Why should I call if I'm home safe? If there is a problem, you'll get a phone call."

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

snowy

I only ever call my parents in regards to my safe return home if I'm traveling home after visiting them. I keep in touch with them enough otherwise that when we take longer trips on our own they don't worry too much. It's only if I don't check in with one of them for a couple of days that they start to worry--but that rarely, if ever, happens, and only seems to happen when I'm not traveling anywhere. They have a great deal of confidence in me as a traveler (and well they should--we traveled extensively as a family) and so they know I can take care of myself.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

abaya

--right, the old saying that "No news is good news," and I believe that. But I know that the women in my family tend to be a lot more paranoid than the men do--once again, the case of my father dying suddenly comes to bear, here--so at first, I didn't mind calling them. But now it's just become a bit annoying. This is one reason that I like Facebook, because for the most part, I can let everyone know where I'm at, what I'm doing, without sending individual messages. But the older people (aunts, grandmas, parents) aren't really into that, and they're used to the phone call.

Funny thing is, my dad has almost never asked me to call him, but I like calling him anyway. He would be the last one to freak out if I went missing for a while, and maybe that's why I like calling him best.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Meditrina

We don't travel much, but when we do, we call my parents and my husband's mother. It mostly depends on where we are going and for how long. Just a day trip to visit family upstate, we don't call anyone. When we went down to North Carolina to see my parents, I called them to let them know when we arrived at the hotel, but I never called my mother-in-law, not sure why. I guess I didn't feel it was necessary, she knows our cellphone numbers if she needs us. I also called my parents to let them know when we arrived home safely. They do reciprocate this, on an even bigger scale, they email us their itinerary for their trips, much more important now that my dad has been fighting lung cancer. They also let us know when they have arrived back home safely, either by phone or email. I don't think I would call anyone else, just the parents so they don't worry.

__________________
"Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

genuinegirly

I call my bank and credit card company the day before I leave and inform them of the cities I will be visiting.
I have never contacted the American Embassy to inform them I will be in a given country, but I have only traveled to "safe" places abroad like Europe and the Pacific. I will remember this tip the next time I travel.

Usually I am excited enough about my trip to inform my sister and my mom well in advance. I give them a brief rundown of where I am going and approximate times. Tt and I don't typically keep to a tight time schedule. When traveling domestically, I give them a "Safe arrival" call when I fly or drive a great distance. I also call once a week. When traveling abroad, I e-mail family once a week, if possible. I include photographs and tell them about any interesting museums or parks or family members that I have seen along the way. My mother cherishes these updates. I do not phone from abroad unless I am away for more than two months.

Mom & Dad give my sister and I a day-to-day itinerary of their trips a week before they leave. I used to think this was excessive, but they usually visit interesting historical sites and museums. It's a conversation-starter when they get back, "You visited this farmhouse, what was it like? What plants did you see in ____."

__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

StanT

My wife, if we are traveling separately. No one if we are traveling together.

My daughters tend to use our home as their "vacation home" when we are out of town. I will leave a message on the answering machine if our plans change, so that they can remove any incriminating evidence before we get home.

abaya

Ah, now that's a good one for me to remember... I've gotten more than a few calls upon my return, from the bank wondering who was using my card abroad, lol. Thanks for this. I don't usually contact them unless I will be in country for an extended period of time (e.g. living in Iceland). I also registered myself at the US embassy in Beirut the first time I went there, but haven't done so since then... it's probably more necessary for me to do it there than anywhere else I've gone. Yeah, this is the thing that gets me in trouble--I get very excited about my travels, and there really isn't much to talk about in Iceland (people traveling abroad is always "news"), so it gets spread around my family pretty quickly. Hence the request to "call when you get back." What bugs me is that (as usual), my family here seems to think of me as some kind of orphan, which is why they want me to call them... I guess. Fact is that I have a mom and dad to call, thanks, and I don't want to make the extra calls/text messages! Sigh.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

paddyjoe

just the people who feed our cats......

ShaniFaye

My parents, Dave's parents, the person that feeds our cats...and each other if we are traveling seperately

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Cynthetiq

oh right! I forgot about that... yes I call them to say thank you!

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

dlish

i called home back in oz at 1:30am here from the airport to tell them that she-lish and i are on the way to istanbul.

when i got back i never told anyone, except the next day i spoke to my brother here. didnt really check in.

i just wanted my parents to know that i would be in istanbul just in case.

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

Willravel

If I've been outside the country I usually call my brother, parents and grandmother first. Then I'll call work friends and then other friends. Otherwise, I don't see a need to let everyone know I'm okay.

abaya

Wow--how often do you travel? If you traveled internationally every couple of months, would you still make all of these calls?

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

ShaniFaye

Dave is out of the country all the time....his call list includes his parents, my parents, sister, and many friends

and yes, he does it every time when he leaves and when he comes back. I remember one time he forgot to call my Dad....I didnt have a happy Daddy lol

Im his first call when his plane lands though

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

abaya

I guess it just comes down to a personality thing. I feel totally fine contacting my parents, and ktspktsp contacts his parents, but otherwise we don't feel a need (other than updating our Facebook statuses, or leaving notes on TFP).

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Charlatan

I tend to text my wife when I land or take off.

I don't really call anyone when I am travelling with her.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

levite

My girl, if I'm not with her. My folks. Usually that's it. When I went to Israel for my year in Jerusalem, I called all my friends in J'lem when I got there; when I came back, I called all my friends in L.A. when I got in. But that was only because it was for a year....

__________________
Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

genuinegirly

Safe arrival calls are pretty standard for me, too. Usually I call my mom and she tells my dad, aunt, etc. Much easier on me, and she gets an excuse to chat with people she loves on the phone.

You could set up a telephone tree:

You call your sister.
She calls your mom.
Mom calls your aunt.
Aunt calls your cousin.

I used to have telephone trees when I needed to call a dozen people to remind them of youth group activities. They aren't always foolproof, but if everyone knows who to call, it gets done faster.

__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

ItWasMe

My parents live two blocks away, and I see them almost everyday. Anything preplanned usually comes up in general conversation. If we are gone for even one night, my dad feeds the dog while we are gone. So they know when we leave and when we plan to return. I don't make specific calls to say 'we're home' but we usually see them that day.

My father-in-law is a retired cross-country truck driver. If we are travelling a great distance, my husband plots and plans with him to come up with the best route. My husband calls him when we return, and sometimes during our trip.

I think my family knows more about my comings and goings now than they did when I was in high school. It's kind of amusing.

When my father-in-law goes on road trips on his Harley, he emails me his itinerary with a complete highlighted route, dates and times that he expects to be in certain places, and how long he plans to be there.

If my parents' vehicle is not in their driveway, I have no idea where they are.

Is that the difference between being raised in the military and raised in the country?

__________________
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .


"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

thespian86

uhhhh, no one? Am I horrible?

To save face as a human being I'll call you from now on Abaya.

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EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
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jorgelito

Wow, is that annoying to extend a simple courtesy call to your loved ones who care about your well being? I also call after earthquakes, riots, floods, and typhoons to let people know I'm ok.

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"The race is not always to the swift, nor battle to the strong, but
to the one that endures to the end."

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- My recruiter

abaya

Yeah, problem is that my parents are no longer together... and my mom and dad live in the US and don't speak Icelandic, while my aunt and grandma live in Iceland and don't speak English. So no one can really call each other. Right now I've worked it out so that I call my dad and grandma, and send e-mails to my mom and aunt (which reduces the need for a long, extensive conversation with them each time), whenever I'm coming/going.

Oh, and of course I call my husband every time I'm traveling separately from him, but that's different--it's something I don't think twice about. We also haven't traveled separately (or even spent one night apart) since we moved to Iceland 18 months ago, so that hasn't been necessary.
-----Added 6/8/2008 at 05 : 40 : 10-----
You sound like my mother when she's applying the guilt trip. Which is exactly why I don't enjoy calling her, because of that tone. Well yeah, but those things obviously don't happen every day... that's something different, to me.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Reese

I was reading some online articles and ran across this. I figure this thread would be the best place for it.
Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated - Gazette Live

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“It is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick” - Dave Barry

Ayashe

It isn't a matter of trust, they only want for you to know that you have returned safely. I call my parents generally that is about it. My brother is not a worrier but I will make a point of stopping at his home. My brother generally will take care of my pets, I make a point of bringing him a gift of some sort in return for the favor.

dlish

you are terrible PMF

__________________
An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere

I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay?
- Filthy

JustJess

Weekend trips, I call to thank the kitties' Auntie. When traveling separate from Q, we call each other all the time so things stay pretty well updated. I sometimes let my family know I'm going out of town or whatnot, but I generally don't make a point of calling them bc they don't make a point of calling ME! If it's a bigger trip than usual (a whole week out of town isn't usual these days), I might let Mom know. In fact, I'm more likely to tell my friend D than anyone other than Q, because he's the only other person who might notice my absence!!

Q keeps his family updated on everything. Always. And they tell him every time they travel about the insurance papers "just in case"!!! So morbid!!

__________________
My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

Daniel_

Just got home today (with wife and daughter).

Sent a text to one friend.

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

lotsofmagnets

tfp.

__________________
mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

ktspktsp

Good idea. We're back from a 3 day trip driving around Iceland: TFP, consider yourself notified of our return!

abaya

Yeah, I checked out for a long time. Make that almost 4 days... 3 nights, which was originally just supposed to be a weekend trip. We just decided to drive the entire of perimeter of Iceland, in the middle of the trip... only sent an SMS to my aunt, that was it. Drove about 12 hours today, straight... I'm not really cognizant right now, lol.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

speshul-k

Hm, no one usually. Why is that such a bad thing?

noodle

if i go too far, i notify my parents that we're going out of town.
i rarely let them know when i'm back.
it's one of those, if i die, i need someone to rescue the cats thing.
and a throwback to a vacation as a kid that i took with a cousin and we changed hotels mid-trip and my parents had no idea where we were for two days.
i think i was 12 or 13 and babysitting my younger second cousins while their parents partied at Late-Nigth Disney or something.
recently we didn't call anyone before we left or when we came back.
it was nice.
my parents were already on their vacation.
i hate feeling obligated but i do it to myself all the time.
my mother's the Guilt-Trip-Master.

__________________

lotsofmagnets

heh, noticed the car was gone over the w/e.

/stalk

__________________
mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

ktspktsp

Next time we'll just ask you to water our plants

abaya

Ummm... whoa, how did you figure out which car was ours?! That's a little freaky. Guess I can tell my Icelandic relatives to call you in case I don't call them, lol.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

ItWasMe

So...your parents don't speak the language of the parents who raised them? Maybe you could teach your grandmother one simple sentence "Abaya home now, she okay, bye" so she can call your mother when you don't have time/resources to email her.

__________________
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .


"Ok, no more truth-or-dare until somebody returns my underwear" ~ George Lopez

I bake cookies just so I can lick the bowl. ~ ItWasMe

abaya

It's a bit more complicated than that... first of all, my parents are my mom and stepdad. Yeah, my mom speaks her mother tongue (Thai) and English, but I'm talking about my Icelandic grandma, who only speaks Icelandic. Also, my Icelandic grandmother lives in Iceland--she does not like making international phone calls, and it would be a little absurd to ask her to call my Thai mother, living in America, every time I get home from a trip, just to utter one sentence. My Icelandic father died before I was born, and my stepdad only speaks English, not to mention that my parents are split up anyway (which is why they need separate phone calls). So no, none of them can be expected to call each other--I'm the only one who can manage that system of different languages and international phone calls on the computer (Skype).

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

lotsofmagnets

ktspktsp showed me some pics of recent adventures and there was a pic of the car crossing a river or near a river and i recognised it since i had almost the same car for nearly a year here and would always keep an eye out for that type of car. might get you to water my plants from when i leave tomorrow

__________________
mother nature made the aeroplane, and the submarine sandwich, with the steady hands and dead eye of a remarkable sculptor.
she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
physics of a bicycle, isn't it remarkable?

abaya

Well, shoot. I guess this really is a small country... there's no use in hiding, not even on the internet! Our car nearly didn't make it back from the Ring Road... needs some work, any mechanic suggestions for that type of car? (Might be better in a PM, haha.)

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran