Expecting parent tips.
 

We are coming down to the final months before, and would love any tips, any special class you would recommend to take, tricks, etc... There are a ton of websites and I feel my mind bulging with all the information and I can have a 15 page birthing plan (which the person who gives the beth israel hospital maternity ward tour said you come in like that the probably give you a c-section, not official policy but it sounded like she wasn't kidding).

Thank you in advance.

1.- cherish every minute of sleep you have now, you will never be able to sleep the same way after your baby is born. SLEEP, SLEEP, SLEEP.

2.- Get yourself a copy of The happiest baby in the block, preferably in DVD, it will help you getting a little more sleep.

3.- Don't overreact with your babies cares, babies, contrary to new parents general beliefs, are not made of glass and won't get sick just because you left a window open.

4.- Breastfeed.

5.- Your baby needs a routine and so do you, start a routine since day one or by month 1 you will be wishing you did.

6.- Everybody will give you advice, even if you didn't ask for it. Accept it and do not criticize, people does it because they care about you and your baby, no reason to make them feel uncomfortable or stupid.

7.- Let people hold and hug your baby.

My #1 rule for new parents is "Sleep when the Baby sleeps."

Those first couple of weeks are going to be exhausting and you need to get sleep whenever you can. You'll be tempted to spend your baby's nap times running errands, socializing, cleaning and so on. Resist tempation! Put off meeting with Aunt Margaret or doing the dishes, and take a nap so you can recharge.

You'll have more energy, enthusiasm and be in a better mood over all.

Rule #2 is don't take the baby's crying personally. It's just how they communicate and not an indictment. That's a tough rule to follow, especially if you're not following rule #1, but you'll be a more effective parent if you can shrug it off and focus on comforting as best you can.

Rule #3 is don't focus too much on the rules. We're all making this up as we go along.

What Ironman said.

The ins and outs of having children are pretty straight forward, we have been doing it for over a billion years in one form or another.

The thing to know, that as a responsible person, this is a LIFE changing event, and not the way most people who don't have children think.

Its not about less time, or more money spent, or even greater responsibility.

It changes how you think and look at the world. It will increase your joys and your fears. The future is no longer just something of interest, its something you want to go well for your kids even if you are no longer here.

No matter how prepared you are, how many books you read, and how many offer advice, you will never ever be prepared for the toll on your relationship, newfound responsibilities, sex life changes, sacrifices, joy and sheer exhaustion.

Read. Listen. Process. No one advisor is godlike. You'll be well-armed to make your own decisions.

My only real advice? You can not possibly hold or love an infant too much. :hearts:

Either get rid of or lock up anything that is worth any value.

The simple answer:
1) Feed it.
2) Bathe it.
3) Hold onto it.
4) Play with it.
5) Change it.
6) Dress it.
7) Forgive it.
8) Burp it.
9) Let it sleep.

Enjoy this time as much as you possibly can. Someday, after the little one has a family of his or her own, you'll want something to look back fondly on.

Edit: and sincerest congratulations to you and your family.

We had a birthing plan. The staff did their best to work with us on it, but in the end, my wife had a C-section after 24 hours of labor. This did not mean that the event was a failure. As long as everyone comes out of the experience healthy, it is a successful birth.

I have two children and have absolutely no clue what a 'birthing plan' is.

Our plan was, go in labor, go to hospital, have baby. Worked like a charm both times.

Do what YOU think feels right. I can't tell you how many people I had tell me "you should do this" or "you should do that"...take all advice with a grain of salt.

Also...what Fresnelly said. Sleep when the baby sleeps. The dishes can wait.

If your wife breastfeeds...great. If she can't/doesn't, great. People have strong opinions about this subject, but do whatever works best for you and your baby.

A typical white person.

willravel's Avatar

Donor
Join Date: Aug 2004

The simple answer:
1) Feed it.
2) Bathe it.
3) Hold onto it.
4) Play with it.
5) Change it.
6) Dress it.
7) Forgive it.
8) Burp it.
9) Let it sleep.


I think you need to add.... the most important one...


Love it!!!!!

Our first child, we took two birthing classes, practiced breathing, etc. For our second child, our plan was as you outline above. The second birth was less stressful for us.

This is good advice, but didn't work for us. If I sleep when the baby sleeps and care for the baby when the baby is awake, when do I work?

When the baby is screaming and screaming with no end in sight, it's easy to take it personally. I would find myself getting worked up by the crying. Then, I would hit a point where I would tell myself, "Hey, she's a baby. What did you expect?" It calmed me down.

Also a good point.

Please tell this to my friends, the parents of a newborn daughter... the father especially freaks out when the baby won't stop crying, and seems to have developed a grudge against her crying. I am just like... hey, she's 2 months old, what did you expect an infant to do? But the father is not getting the clue, unfortunately. But he's a control freak, so I guess that doesn't help the situation.

Anyway, yes! Don't freak out about the crying. It's normal.

Sleep when you can. As the father help as much as you can. Don't worry about giving the kid a bath for the first month or so - it's not doing much to get dirty that you aren't cleaning up anyway.

Poo starts to get more of an odor as they get older. You will be amazed where at how high it can shoot.

Sleep whenever you can.

They don't do much for the first couple of months. Put the baseball glove, football and Barbies away for now.

Clear out space in your freezer for frozen meals. They're much easier than "from-scratch" and sometimes heating up a frozen lasagne that your mother-in-law made a month ago will save your marriage.

Sleep when you can.

They sleep great for the first week or two. You're going to wonder what all this talk of babies not sleeping is all about. Then the wheels will come off. Hopefully they'll be back to sleeping through the night by 4 or 5 months, but don't count on it. It took our oldest until 9 months. So.....

Sleep when you can.