Your wedding cost?
 

So, how much did YOUR wedding cost? And what did it look like? And was it truly, truly worth that price you paid (in time, relational stress, AND money)?

I ask because ktspktsp and I might be getting married soon. :icare: But I'm sure most of you aren't too surprised about that... kinda been in the works for a while. :)

We are just trying to put a little something together for later this summer, and I mean a LITTLE something... we're talking minimalist, here. But it seems impossible. Since when does every couple have to go all-out and spend $10,000 (unless you have a ton of friends who are all DJ's, photographers, have a nice yard, etc)... which we don't have, since we live in Pennsylvania and are trying to have a wedding in Seattle, WA. :lol:

So it's either spend your life savings, or you have to go to the courthouse with some friends, pay $60, and it's done. Isn't there a happy medium?

We are talking $5000 or less for the whole deal (not including dress/rings). Are we out of our minds? Someone tell me that you had a really nice summer wedding for a few thousand bucks, please? And tell me how you did it! (Especially with just 2-3 months to plan.) Maybe I AM crazy... :confused:

We just have serious ethical issues with spending more than $5000 (MAX) for one day of our lives. (Yes, it's important, but the decades of commitment AFTER that day are far more important.) :D

We basically want a little somethin'-somethin' nice, and that doesn't require too much planning. We want music, a photographer, some flowers, and alcohol. And our small group of people (50 guests, max) around to celebrate with. And I guess we have to send out invitations, but I'd almost rather order them at Costco and have people e-mail RSVP or something. I mean, who really cares what the invites look like, in the end?

I guess I am a little fed up with the whole wedding industry. :p Sure, I'd like to have a fancy, decked-out wedding... but not at the required pricetag, and not with the required 12 months of planning and stressing over what color the dog's bowtie will be. Give me something beautiful and simple!!

Costco does custom wedding invitations now: http://pal.einvite.com/dept/Wedding/id/1.5/

Do you want to have the wedding IN Seattle or somewhere in the greater Seattle area? The closer to Seattle, the more expensive it's likely to be. There are some great wedding locations in the surrounding areas. Some friends of mine from Bellevue got married up on the shore of the sound near a marina in Anacortes. There are tons of state parks and whatnot where a ceremony and reception could easily be done in one location on the cheap--Kayak Point County Park in Snohomish County comes to mind.

Just some thoughts.

Sweet, Owl. This is exactly what I'm talking about... I know there are ways to cut corners in this business! :D

And yeah, my family's actually in Mill Creek/Bothell, so we're staying the hell away from Seattle because of the cost. We're not even sure if we *want* a proper reception place, since it's a HUGE expense to rent something. If I can fit 50 people into my mom's new house, I will do it. :lol: (It's pretty tight, though.)

I will check out the places you mention, Owl. :thumbsup:

Not that you live where I do but I just went to a wedding at a nice park, they rented the clubhouse. Don't know how much it cost, but she said it was cheap.

Here is the parks directory for Snohomish County: http://www1.co.snohomish.wa.us/Depar...ark_Directory/

And Everett:

http://www.ci.everett.wa.us/default.aspx?ID=11

Everett's got a LOT of cool parks, including Jetty Island and Forest Park (my favorite childhood hangout).

I got married one year ago. I am the man though which means all I really did was show up. The wife was quite stressed though. Luckily her grandma owned a party rental shop and also recommended people for every part of the wedding. Since she recommended the people, we usually got a discount on them. Saved $400 on the photographer alone. Best thing I can say is ask all your friends and relatives if they know anybody that can maybe do the cake or flowers or anything. The bill can snowball fast after wedding fever hits, not to mention everything wedding related costs 2X the amount it should (nearly passed out when I saw what the photographer normally charges). I highly recommend either no food or just inexpensive snacks for your guests. It is not your job to feed them, they will also drink less alcohol on emptier stomachs (if you choose to have booze).

Have you thought about maybe getting married at the courthouse but having a larger reception with all your guests? I would have rathered this, but then the pictures aren't as cool and the wife would have been pissed.

First marrige-about $8,000, in the chapel,250 guests....beautiful and extravagant....great catering at the reception....lots of bubbly, standard fare.

it was the best part of the entire marrige.

Second marriage-about $300, in her parents backyard....my mom did the ceremony, fifteen minutes , true love, beautiful.....and far more meaningful to me.

A white dress and flowers do not a marrige make

Look at a destination type wedding... it gives you your honeymoon and wedding in one package... the guests that want to go will come to you for a 2- 3 day stay... and you can get married on a beach, or a glacier or whereever your heart desires...

Desitination weddings are cheaper than conventional weddings, someone else does all the work for you - and the guests end up having a nice time as well...

OK, I'm going to draw a line that may or may not be relavent - there is the wedding ceremony itself and then the reception. Our wedding ceremony cost us about $2,000, but that includes the church, my tux, her dress, all the worn flowers and all the bridesmaids and groomsmans gifts. The largest single expense was my tux, but I've bascially already recooped that expense from rental fees since I wear it fairly often. The church was probably the next big expense, although that was a "donation" of about $400. A family friend did the honors and wouldn't accept any payment. My wife, the veteran shopper that she is, found her dress for $200 with another $200 in alterations. If you subtract the clothes, all of a sudden the total cost is down around $600.

The reception is something completely different - my wife is the only girl, and she and her mother had a definite vision in mind. My in-laws paid for about 2/3rds of the roughly $15,000 that the reception cost. That includes the hotel, photographer, DJ, meals, party favors, table decorations (including the majority of the flowers), and the transportation from the wedding to the reception.

My point is that the reception is what drives the price. I've been to several other weddings since ours where I would have stolen some of their ideas if given the chance. One couple eloped and then threw themselves a reception afterwards (another got married twice, once for his parents in the UK and once here for hers and did the same thing). I stood up in a wedding that was outside at the Field Museum (the bride and groom met while working there) with the reception at our favorite neighborhood bar with a beer garden afterwards. There was no paid photographer at that wedding, but every guest was given a disposable camera and instructed to leave it door on their way out. Another friend is a big photography nut and his gift to the couple was professional-grade pictures of the wedding and reception. That reception, if I remember right, cost about $3,000 including the food.

Deals can be had, but you have to think creatively and exploit your friends, who usually don't mind being exploited anyway.

And congratulations, by the way!

I can't remember the breakdown but my wedding, reception and honeymoon totaled about $20,000. $6,500 of that was the reception hall (and that was a cheaper one around here. The first couple we looked at were at or above $10,000). Another $4500 went for the honeymoon and the rest were the other expenses like photographer, videographer, cake, transportation, dress, favors, alcohol, etc. My wife wouldn't have had it any other way. We were lucky that we had a chance to save up the money before the wedding.

If you are looking to go under $5,000, you are definitely looking at a small gathering, hopefully at a friend or relatives house. There are ways to cut corners like knowing any family or friends who can bake a wedding cake, arrange flowers, etc. I would suggest a backyard cookout to save money on catering fees.

Good luck.

I always said that if I ever got married it was gonna be at a park and the reception, which is the money hog, would be family reunion pot-luck style. I would also request that whatever was brought the person making it would include the recipe so that could then go into a "family" cookbook for the husband/wife.
Also if you can follow a pattern make your own dress! I made my bridesmaid dress for a friends wedding and fully intend on making my wedding dress as well... my only problem is do I go blue or green????
Rings... I want non-traditional sapphire... Try estate sales they have older rings so you wont see someone walking around wearing a duplicate.
Photographs? Put disposable cameras on all the tables and get doubles developed. Have the picture taker write their name on the cardboard so when you get the doubles one set for you and one for them.
Alcohol? Bring your own bottle!!! No one complains about you not having their particular poison.
Music... you know SOMEONE who has a kickbutt collection of music and owns a good boombox, so if you get married outside pack along an extension cord or 5 or 6 and let him/her go to town with the tunes.
Flowers... if artificial are alright go to a craft store get what you'd like and some florist tape (very cheap) and make your own.

Hope some of this helps!!! If not... please ignore the ramblings of a very sleepy woman.

Ours was expensive - upwards of $18K all in. This includes dresses, tux rentals, reception, church - everything. On one hand it does seem like an obscene amount to spend on one day. My brother and his wife just went down to the beach with a photographer and a JP, and suprised us all the next day with a phone call.

On the other hand, friends and family are still talking about it and how much fun they had. Our family is spread across the country, and a lavish party sure beats a funeral for bringing them together. A friend who got married last summer even modelled his own after ours.

It was held outdoors in a tent, surrounded by a hedge on a heritage farm in in the country. The greatest expenses were for catering with a full buffet and a pre-dinner barbeque while we were having our photos done. (Washroom trailers where also expensive but worth it!)

In addition to how successful it was, it might well be the only wedding our two families will have for a very long time, so we try not to look back too much on the hard cost.

Believe it or not we cut costs like crazy and did most of it ourselves:

- We did all the flowers (bought them wholesale with my wife's vendor permit)
- Made centerpieces in the weeks ahead of time using dried flowers, etc...
- Hired a photographer who gave us the negatives so we could develop them ourselves.
- Rented a white volkswagen Beetle for the weekend rather than a limo (they were still pretty novel at the time)
- The wedding dress was made by a friend of ours , modeled after a name designer's
- The Bridesmaid dresses were simple off-the-rack sundresses,
- Bought our own fabrics wholesale for decorative swags - (donated afterwards to costume designer friends and also used in a quilt)
-I rented my own lighting gear for the dance portion of the evening (set it up and tore down myself)
- Made our own invitations with japanese paper, and some other fine materials bought in bulk.

By all means, save your money, and focus on creating an enjoyable, meaningful event, rather than details, details, details. You're bringing your loved ones together to celebrate, and that is what is at the heart of it.

Our wedding cost just under 5K (including honeymoon for a week, dress, and rings) for 150 people, lots of you will remember, I did a lot of it myself..for example...since I made the invitations myself, it was only 30 dollars for 150 of them. Our cake was a wedding gift so it was free. All the clothes were made, they werent "off the rack"

as for what it looked like
http://www.celticdesade.com/wedding.htm

you can judge for yourself lol Albeit we had a "different" wedding

One of the nicest weddings I went to was at a country church with the 'reception' following on the church grounds. The bride's family all chipped in the food and the cake.
Now, I don't think you can entirely go by my experience, since it was SO long ago, but I too wanted the cheapest way without it looking cheap so I did these things(after all, you really just want to celebrate your love, not go bankrupt): my wedding dress was not a traditional wedding dress-it was a plain ivory bridesmaid's gown. Cost $85. No tux for the spouse-he wore his suit. Both the ceremony and the reception were held at the local Ramada Inn, which had a party planner on staff. As part of the wedding package, we got our room for the night and instead of a bridal party room (we only had my sister and his best friend as our wedding party), we made a deal for a whiskey sour fountain. We also did not hire a photographer; I asked everyone to bring their cameras and send me their negatives.
Guests generally give money as gifts. While you can't ask them too, keep in mind some of that might offset your costs. Total cost of our wedding was $3100; we got $2700 in gifts and my parents chipped in $1500, so we had some left over.
If you can go with any combo of Mal's and mine, it would well be worth it. Hotel deals of wedding packages are a good way to get everything done at once and save a bundle. I would certainly forego the fancy dresses, 27 bridesmaids and groomsmen, etc. After all, you want to enjoy your special party, not go crazy stressing over it!!
I think the single biggest and dumbest cost is the wedding gown. They're overpriced to begin with, generally fall apart before the last guest leaves and having them cleaned and boxed for....what?? is a secondary expenditure. Second would be the photographer.
Would an early congrats be out of line? ;)

Fun for entertainment value, but in no way is it a substitute for actual pictures... you'll end up with pictures of someone's feet, pictures of people in thebathroom, Cousin Judith's obnoxious daughter, pretty much everything but the moments you want captured forever... yeah, it's fun pics... but it's better to have a person who's good with a camera taking the pictures...

Agreed. We tried that and got lots of blurry photos of half eaten dinner plates and underexposed mystery guests. :rolleyes:

Maybe I've been to entirely too many weddings over the years.. but ... you seriously would expect to get a gift of any value without feeding or boozing your guests? Cash bars, which are quite common in New England, are tacky enough, but no food? No food - no gift... (etiquette says, that the monetary value of the gift should be what the couple spends per head at the reception - cheap snacks costs about 75 cents per head? I'm not sure a 75 cent gift would be appreciated :D

Wow, thanks for all the feedback. This is really helpful to get at least a ballpark idea of what "normal" weddings cost (since ours will not be normal). :) $18k... :eek:

I should clear up a few things: ktspktsp's and my family are spread across 5+ different countries, and we have only a handful of friends/family in the U.S., period (I'm the only American in both of our families). So if only the U.S. folks come, it's seriously going to be a tiny wedding. :lol: We're just too international for one of these big American shebangs... I mean, most of our relatives are an 18 hour plane trip away from Seattle (Thailand and Lebanon, respectively... and Icelanders never get married, period, so they probably wouldn't come either). So we will most likely have a simple ceremony at home (ktspktsp is an atheist and does not want any kind of church wedding), and maybe rent a place for a reception... but even that is up in the air, given our small number of guests.

Also, I agree that a professional photographer is necessary, but do we really need such fancy food? I mean, gifts are nice and all, but the reality is that we won't be living together until January (I still have courses to finish), and then we'll be moving to Iceland for a year. We won't be lugging tons of wedding gifts along with us. So any gifts would have to sit in storage for a good 17 months... we're wondering if there's any point, really. So I feel less pressure to feed the guests well, I suppose. (The cheapest caterings I've seen are $14-$15 per head.)

We don't know any seamstresses who can make a dress, we don't know bakers who will make a cake, we don't know any good music people to be DJ's... and we know one aspiring photographer, but he lives in Chicago! :) (Can we fly you out, JJ?) So those are going to be major costs, but we just want to keep them as low as possible. We are not really into the frou-frou details, but we don't want something ghetto, either. :)

So, maybe I should rephrase my question. IF you knew you would have less than 50 people for guests, and you didn't want a religious wedding, and you didn't plan to make gifts a huge deal because of logistical issues... what would you do, and how much would you expect to spend?

Wedding cakes can cost as much as car does in some cases... if you aren't all about the tradition of things.. .you could easily do cupcakes (which taste a lot better) either home made (Have I got recipes for you.. .and cake decoriting isnt that tough to master..) or from a bakery... Just some nice cake plates to put them on and you're good to go...

Seamstress? Eh - check the yellow pages... Depending on what you're looking for in a dress.. you're close enough to NYC- take the train up to NYC and go to Kleinfeld's... or look at sample sales... where you can get dresses for a fraction of the cost...

Gifts aren't just the fancy candlesticks and the place settings for 25 -- gifts are also checks that can be used to help out in your first year of marriage (some smart brides and grooms also set up accounts to be used for the purchase of the first house for all the loot.. rather than crap that no one needs :)

based on what you are describing.. i'd still look at a destination wedding... easily done (honeymoon included) for under 5 grand... and it's a very memorable experience... (had friends get married on the beach - she wore a gauzey cotton dress and he wore linen pants and shirt - no shoes no socks no worries... it was a lovely ceremony and the spot the picked was pretty close to paradise...)

We got married 2 years ago here in Guatemala, we invited 400 people and we spent about $22,000.00 in the reception, including the garden, church, decorations, music, food and liquors.
About $2K in the wedding dress and my tuxedo rental ($50).
$400 for the suite where we spent the wedding night.
$9,000 for the honey moon
$600 for the photographer
$2,500 for the wedding rings (mine was 300)

What we did with my wife, was that when we got engaged we decided to make a wedding found, every month we both had to deposit $1000.00 in a savings account, we were engaged for exactly 1 year prior to the wedding. Our parents only paid for the reception costs of the people they wanted to invite and that wasn't friends of ours (between my parents and hers they invited over 70 persons) and all the costs of the wedding rings, honeymoon and wedding dress were my responsability. She paid for the make up artist, the photographer and video guys.
Was it worth it? Hell yeah! at first i didn't even wanted a reception, but seeing how excited she was i couldn't but go ahead with the big wedding. Anyway, i would never done it if we would't have made the down payment for the apartment where we live now before we even started plannig the reception, one gets married once in a lifetime, so it better be good!

Actually, my cousins got married last year and did the disposable camera thing--they said they enjoyed the pictures from the disposable camera more, because there were more pictures of family enjoying themselves, more pictures of them with relatives versus just them by themselves, etc. The most popular shots were a series of pictures my brother took of our cousin who was the best man (6'8") and the little ring bearer (2').

Anyways, abaya, knowing the part of the country in which you want to hold the wedding, I definitely think you can do it on the cheap and still have a fun time that everyone will remember. As for the cake--given the size of your group, I'd go with the smallest cake you can get away with ordering from the cheapest place (even Safeway does wedding cakes now) and order a half-sheet cake for guests. Or you can really cut corners and do what some friends of mine did--a half-sheet cake that they decorated themselves.

Given the size of your group, I really imagine some kind of small ceremony in a park (knowing you like the outdoors) done by a JP, followed by a barbeque in a nearby picnic shelter. Ask around and see if friends are willing to man the barbeque for you and oversee the food. You don't need a caterer to put together something so simple. If friends/family are willing to help you with decorations/food/etc, then you're definitely going to save a lot of money. Sure, you'll still have to hire a photographer, and shell out for the food costs, but you'll save on labor (which is one of the priciest parts of hiring a caterer).

$5,000

my suit cost more than Skogafoss' dress.

boat on the Gulf off of Long Boat Key, FL.

14 people, family and best friends.

married on the top deck, reception below deck. 3 hour cruise at sunset.

wanted to do iceland but the whole family on both sides went a bit ape shit over the idea of getting married at Skogafoss in the winter time.

:lol: awesome. I would have gone... ;)

Thanks again for all the tips/experience... it's great hearing so many different approaches. Mal, the destination wedding thing could be interesting, I'll check it out. :)

Did I mention that his folks are most likely throwing a HUGE reception in Lebanon (I mean, we're talking hundreds of people) when we visit in January or so? Yeah... so we'll get a big fancy reception, just not a local one. :) Which is fine with me.

Owl, you have the greatest ideas... this is exactly what I had in mind. And yes, I can imagine the park setting, too.

I am still in gaping disbelief :eek: at some of the price tags you folks are quoting (those in the $20k range), even though I have been a bridesmaid four times and I know how lavish weddings can be. (That's precisely why I *don't* want a fancy one, given my prior experience.)

Cyn, give me more details... your wedding sounds like exactly something we could do. I wonder if the Argosy in Seattle is available for similar costs.

the other reason that the boat works well is because you have a finite amount of people you can invite. once you cross "the line" suddenly it trips like a domino effect of family and friends, suddenly you jump from 14 to 40, then creep to 50, then suddenly it's 100.

*BUT* Skogafoss is sad that we didn't go with the original plans of just 6 of us at Skogafoss Iceland in Feb. While I won't be able to get the other 4 people, I am trying to make the arrangements for our 5 year anniversary being in Skogafoss and staying in Hótel Búðir.

Just remember there's a point where you'll make some compromises, just make sure the compromises are ones you really want to compromise.

I got married last year for around 5K.

I paid for my dress less then $500.
The wedding and reception were at a small Inn and only close friends and family were invited.....maybe 30ish people??
We didn't have a honeymoon.
Most of the $$ went to food.
A family friend took the pics for free.
A family member video taped the service for free.
My maid of honor bought her dress off of EBAY for $15.
I had a bouquet, she had a bouqet which were professional but the rest of the flowers were store bought by my mom and just set around in different places to make it look nice.
Nothing fancy, simple and perfect:)

I think our wedding, back in 1993 (13 years ago yesterday, June 4th) cost in the neighbourhood of $15,000. The most expensive part was the open bar and the catering for 100.

Thankfully my wife's father has money.

Yea but is that $15k Canadian? Cuz then it'd be about $3k American, eh?http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/images/smilies/lol.gif

Not anymore sister... welcome to the world of the ninty cent dollar.

200 bucks. We waited 6 years to get married because her family expected the whole horsedrawn carraige and white doves thing. Finally, we booked a Justice of the Peace, bought a keg, invited our friends over and took the leap.

She was happy with me, and a big wedding would be meaningless. We have better things to spend money on.

:thumbsup: This is great to hear. I am really loving the stories of people who spent $5k or less... believe me, we'd like to spend that extra $5-10k on more than a few hours of our lives, too. :D

Thanks for all the inspiration and great ideas, folks... keep 'em coming.

I started out last spring with the same frame of mind. Less that 5k.

Turns out that snowballed. Both my mother and my future mother-in-law had been very involved in trying to cut corners in previous weddings and had unhappy memories/regrets about it.

For example, my now mother-in-law had agreed to serve the cake at her other daughters wedding... and missed the first dance between "father of the bride" and "bride". We had also attended a wedding where a friend was the dj, and he wasn't bad but he wasn't good. We had friends who don't have a single good photo from their wedding day because the skipped a photographer and had friends do it.

We did cut some corners. Most the flowers (less bouqets and boutineers) and decorations were done by cousins and friends. Cake was done by a non-professional that had strong references. We had a 1 and 2$ bar which was a reasonable comprimise.

We had an expensive day, but with no regrets from anyone invovled. I've been told by many it was the nicest wedding and reception they'd ever been to. I put in 3000 (plus her wedding band plus the honeymoon). My parents did about 5000 and hers did about 6500 (split in half + her gown).

we honestly saw reason for a dj at all....we loaded up our mp3 player with a "wedding" playlist and hooked it to some really good speakers and went to town.

dj's annoy me anyway so it was NEVER an option for us

Aug 1986:

Wedding at the NY City Hall Chapel: $200
Reception at the Warden Holiday Inn with 120 guests included: cocktails/canapes; sit down dinner, open bar, wedding cake, desert table and DJ: about $4,000

tux rental: $110
wedding dress (free from Mom-in-law) but cost about $400.
Honeymoon 4 days in Quebec city (free from mom) but cost about $1,000.

Pictures of my university roomate naked in the bathtub with an ice-sculpure of a mermaid: Priceless!

Ah, but how did you and your wife feel about that? Do you think you would have regretted cutting more corners than you did?

I suppose that's my general question... I mean, I'm sure those of you who sprung tens of thousands of dollars don't have any regrets (I hope!). :) But what about those who spent less? Do you, personally, have any regrets that you didn't have a fancier wedding? (I am not talking about parents/friends/siblings, etc... just the couple getting married.) Keep in mind that ktspktsp's and my parents are pretty uninvolved with the whole US side of the celebration... and I know my parents don't give a rip how fancy things are. The only people who seem to be hot and bothered about the "fancy" wedding would be those who were indoctrinated into the wedding ideology when we were all attending a Christian college... and I don't intend to invite many of those. :)

So it really comes down to us.

I guess it's an individual thing. I mean, I just wonder, "Would I really regret not taking care of every minute detail? (And if I did regret it, couldn't we just have a really nice vow renewal 5 or 10 years down the road, since that's what really matters, anyway?)" In all four weddings that I was a bridesmaid for... I hardly remember the details. I remember the bride's dress, I remember the big smile on the groom's face all day, I remember eating some cake and getting a bit drunk, and smiling at all the dancing and pretty flowers. But otherwise, what else is *really* necessary to celebrate the beginning of your lives together? :)

an officiant ;)

Did you not have one, Shani? Or do you mean, make sure to have one?

I love the idea about burning your own CD. Truly, why would you need a DJ when you have all the music you want in one place? (I assume burning several copies would be a good back-up.) Plus, DJ's ARE pretty cheesy. :D

I won't even tell you what ours cost. It would horrify your practical mind (it did mine!). Q is the oldest son in a family with no daughters, and they're a bit more traditional, so they wanted a bigger shindig. It was their money, so we went with it. It was a beautiful day, with all the people we love most and a ceremony that was entirely original/non-traditional/non-religious.

Things that are worth money in my mind:

Some money: photos. Get an art school student. I recommend photojournalistic style for immediacy and beauty. Worth some dough.

Dress: Okay, look. I am NOT a girl who ever daydreamed about her wedding day blah blah blah. Not at ALL. BUT the dress... *sigh* the dress... it was perfect. I felt like a beautiful princess, it was simple and elegant and way too expensive. :lol: Don't skimp on whatever dress makes you happy. Yep, it's one day. But it's a damned good day.

Music: If you just want boogie music, the hell with a DJ - just get a friend to toggle your iPod. Seriously. You just need to hear the speeches! For Q, it was a big deal to have a live band, because he wanted to play with them. We sang a duet during our ceremony, his friends put together a song for us that they performed during the reception, he rocked with the band, so did his friends and brother... it was cool. But if that doesn't matter to you, don't bother! :)

Ceremony: This is where we switched things up. We got our theater professor ordained at the universal life church online so he could do the ceremony. It was all about Shakespeare, baby. :lol: We wrote our own vows and I do's, chose our own rituals, and sang to each other (Power of Two by the Indigo Girls). We boogied down the aisle afterwards to a bluegrass version of "Let's Get It On". It was fun!

Cake: My mother baked the cakes. Yes, cakeS. 10. 5 different kinds. (She was feeding 112 people!) We had someone decorate them professionally because you have to do that the day for it to work, and I wasn't going to have her completely stress out. They were awesome. :D She did my brother's and sister's weddings too. Nope, not a pastry chef!

My sister got married in a state park, at an overlook of the gorge in the Adirondack mountains. Her friend did the ceremony (similar to our professor). My brother grilled for the reception. She rented open tents and chairs etc. There were maybe 50 people. Her decorations consisted of 1000 paper cranes for luck (she folded those herself). Her wedding dress was a cream evening gown that was a little beaded but simple and lovely. I went barefoot. Her best friend (and photographer) did all the shots.

The only way to be frugal and not feel frugal is to let people pitch in. My brother had 20 people and had it at the restaurant/B&B his wife worked at (gorgeous place). Her friends are chefs, so they cooked, and her boss donated the food.

Hope that helps...

the other reason that the boat works well is because you have a finite amount of people you can invite. once you cross "the line" suddenly it trips like a domino effect of family and friends, suddenly you jump from 14 to 40, then creep to 50, then suddenly it's 100.

*BUT* Skogafoss is sad that we didn't go with the original plans of just 6 of us at Skogafoss Iceland in Feb. While I won't be able to get the other 4 people, I am trying to make the arrangements for our 5 year anniversary being in Skogafoss and staying in Hótel Búðir.

Just remember there's a point where you'll make some compromises, just make sure the compromises are ones you really want to compromise.

Married in Florida so we were married by a Notary Public, cost was just about $200.

Family members did the photographs with digital cameras. We do wish that we had a couple posed pictures sometimes, but more often the candid shots that were taken are quite special and we didn't have yet one more person following about as "workers."

Boat rental was almost $3,000 including tipping the staff.

We didn't buy flowers save the corsages, boutinere, and bouquet.

Centerpieces were floating rose wax candles in glass globes.

Main centerpiece were longstem white silk flowers (which now adorn our bedroom)

An arbor was rented was a couple hundred dollars for the weekend rental. It was picked up early and since Skogafoss' mother is a ceramic artist, she made ceramic roses for us and mounted them onto the arbor. We have them and are trying to figure out what kind of art to make it into.

Food was a local deli that made chicken parm and some pasta dish with salad,
Cake was also a local baker. $200+

Had I picked up the RIGHT black pants that matched the black jacket, then I would not have had to buy a new suit, buying a new suit I ended up buying the whole outfit down to the shoes for $800. Skogafoss bought her dress which was a bride's maid dress for $250 I think.

The key to all of the cheap prices was to stay away from the words BRIDAL and WEDDING. The moment you invoke those words the price of everything doubles

I have photos to share if you'd like to see them.

We got married at the courthourse, in a judge's chamber decorated with pictures the judge's twin five-year-olds had drawn. The judge was in a great mood, because it was the end of the week and the last thing he had to do before going home was fun.

That's probably a little spartan for you. But I've seen a number of weddings done inexpensively that'll probably be remembered fondly by the principals:

One was in a rented space in a public park; it was an old restored schoolhouse, very romantic and churchlike. The surroundings were pleasant. When the wedding was over, everybody pitched in and set up the hall for the reception, which was mainly cooked by friends. I think the reason that one shines is because _everybody_ who came helped out, and helped make the wedding happen. I mean, did their friends and family demonstrate that they loved them, or what?

Beaches are good _as long as it's a short ceremony and not too windy._ I saw a 20-mile wind blow up behind the bride once: she looked like a ship under full sail! They can be very romantic, and park authorities are usually pretty cool about it as long as you don't try to have loud music or anything. Then you can have the reception wherever.

House receptions are good, and frankly I'd invite people you know to cook. Also frankly: there's nothing wrong with a champagne and cake reception. You don't _have_ to serve them dinner. One thing that can work. If this is a gathering of the clans, make it an all-day affair: have the wedding in the afternoon, have a cake and champagne reception after, then repair to somone's house for informal no-nonsense eats -- a barbecue, maybe -- and a good old fashioned get-together.

you asked what else you could need.....I was being a smartass hehehehe

we had two folders on the mp3 player, general music and event music (first dance, parents/kids dance, garter thingy etc) and we had a person assigned with a time table to play the event songs at the time we wanted...the rest of the time they reverted back to the general music folder

I think I would have, but had you asked me a week before the wedding I would have awnsered differently.

The photos were stupid expensive. I refused to pay the extortion. My mom didn't. And the way Mrs.Bossnass lights up when she shows off the album, and the incredible prints that are on the walls of each our parents and grandparents made it worthwhile. I'm not a photographer, but I can recognize 'professional' results.

We attended a wedding where the first dance as a married couple sounded terrible because of some problem with the laptop playing the mp3s. That alone promted us to get a DJ. He played pre-reception music, played appropriate music when the wedding party came in, shifted smoothly between background music to speeches with sappy music to specificly requested music. When the dance floor wasn't busy, the DJ filled it without being annoying. I wasn't sure about the DJ until the wedding day. The reception wouldn't have gone as smoothly or been as fun without him.

My brother got married in a hotel lobby with a justice of the peace. Me and his wife's sister the only other people. It worked for him. He has no regrets, but I'm certain that his wife does.

An old friend of mine got married on a beach on a beach in belize. Unfortunatly, almost none of his friends could make it. There were random people on the beach 30 feet away, even though they had reserved a section with the wedding planner at the very nice resort. He told me he regreted it when I picked him up at the airport; one of his keenest memories is "right after I kissed the bride, I looked up and saw an old fat hairy sunburned dude giving me the thumbs up".

we had a dolphin circling the boat until we go out of the keys and onto the entrance of the gulf, then it stayed until after our vows.

I got married at the JOP for $75, with just my mom and hubby's friend as witnesses. At first I felt a little sad that I didn't have a wedding, but as I've gotten older and seen family and friends stress themselves silly over money and minute details, I'm glad we did what we did. Neither of our families have money, and what a way to start out life together... with a huge debt.

After observing other weddings, I have a few ideas. Firstly, I don't care for wedding "rules" and "etiquette". I think a lot of weddings have started to become more of a keeping up with the Jones's rather than what it REALLY is...a celebration of two people's love. I'm appalled that the quality of gift should be equal to food price...people who can't throw a lavish bash should just get crappy gifts then? What's the point in giving someone something if it's not from the heart? Makes no sense to me.

Anyway, a very good friend of mine just got married, and this is what she did. They got married at an old church (neither is religious, they just liked the feel of it), and had a dinner afterwards. They had their reception the next day at a park...it was casual, they had a light lunch that they made themselves, and everyone had a good time. She said the photographer was by far the biggest expense, but the one she was willing to splurge on because 20 years down the road no one was going to remember what food was served, or what the bride or bridesmaids wore...but the pictures would be hers to cherish.

My sister (handy woman that she is) found an inexpensive dress and altered it herself, made her own veil, and made most of the food herself (she's a good cook too). My brother played the wedding music on his guitar, and at the reception at my dad's house, they had burnt CD's of music they enjoyed and played them on a boombox. They had beer and that was it as far as alcohol.

Another friend who got married at a reception center saved hundreds of dollars by switching the date from a Saturday to a Sunday. She also saved money by having everything at the center, instead of renting a church and then renting the center as well.

One thing you may want to keep in mind is if you do want alcohol, it will get expensive fast....and if you decide to have the reception in a park or other public place, there may be alcohol restrictions.

I don't know if any of that was helpful or not, but that's what I have. Good luck on this!

These are all great suggestions and stories, thank you. :) I must say, I prefer to hear TFP'ers stories than to read some wedding forums (not yours Shani, but The Knot, for example) and see how FREAKY most brides are. They really ARE Bridezillas. How can anyone possible stress out THAT much about a few hours??

Anyway, the TFP is much more down to earth, and we are enjoying the feedback. Medusa, you're right... it's much cheaper to have a Saturday "day" thing than a night thing. And we are not going to be renting two places or something like that... one place is expensive enough, if we go that route. What a difference a few hours makes!

Something to think about besides decorations and catering, is the pace of the day. Like any good host, you don't want your guests to be waiting around too much. Whether it's for the ceremony to start, food to arrive, photos to be completed, or the speeches to end, there's nothing that can kill the mood faster. (OK, a fistfight would do it :rolleyes:)

As an example, if you hire a photographer, consider when your going to have the formal pictures taken. We had them done between the ceremony and the reception, which is convenient for the couple, but can leave the guests on their own for too long.

Is seeing each other ahead of the ceremony a concern for you? You could have the photos taken before the ceremony and avoid that downtime, but consider this: One of my fondest memories from our wedding is the sweet, overwhelmed look from my wife as she came down the aisle looking fantastic. I wouldn't give that up just to save a bit of time.

We filled that time for our guests by setting up a badminton net, croquet and a barbecue with appetizers (a big hit). The bucolic setting also helped as the guests could stroll around the grounds and kids could run off some steam.

One thing a DJ can do that a CD can't, is play requests. And if Granny wants to dance the Macarena or the bird dance or boot-scoot to Billy Ray Cyrus, so be it. That's what makes a great wedding.

Yeah... to be fair, you don't know my family. :lol: Remember that I'm the only American in my entire family... I mean, other than a few cousins, my family is made up of older Thai and Icelandic people, none of whom care much for American culture, and ktspktsp's family is Lebanese. Yeah. Weddings are a whole different deal in all three of those cultures... I'm the odd one out. :) So to me, a CD is really not such a bad deal.

Otherwise, you are quite right about timing things. As a bridesmaid, there was one wedding where the guests had to wait around for AGES in between the ceremony and reception for the wedding party (and parents, siblings, etc) to take pictures. Did I mention that I am an only child, and ktspktsp has just one sister? It's really not going to be a huge shindig... :)

I believe we only spent around $300 for the wedding but we had a lot of help and we did not have a dance or any alcohol - both are forbidden by the church we married in.

I wore my mother's dress - it fit be perfectly and I liked the style. Hubby wore a sharp suit as well as did the 3 groomsmen. We purchased the suits through a formal attire supplier who supplied the suits for choral groups at my college. We had the guys purchase their suits but they were much less expensive than they would have been otherwise (about $50 each) and the guy were quite happy to have nice suits that they could use in the future. I and my Aunt who both sew quite well helped to fit the suits to each guy.

The flowers were purchased cut at a local floral shop. My grandpa, who use to run a floral business with his wife, and my Mom who was raise working with them, both took care of the floral arrangements. They mixed silk and real flowers in such a way that one could not tell that the bouquets were not entirely real but the arrangements were much less expensive.

The cake was made by a girl in our church and a friend of mine who had won awards for her cake decorating skills. She did a wonderful job and instead of accepting our payment for the cake told us that it was her gift to us.

I think the gifts to the people who participated were the most expensive.
The ladies of the church pulled together to assist in a reception that was open to all who attended the wedding. We paid for the food but the ladies took on preparing it for us for a small compensation that was less than we'd have paid for catering.
We had to purchase runners for the isles as the church had none and we weren't paying a florist to set up.
Grandpa built some candelabra for the front of the church and I decorated our unity candle myself.

I know a lot of this sounds all redneck and cheap looking but we heard comments from people who were quite impressed and enjoyed the atmosphere. We had over $300 people some of whom traveled through 3 states to see the wedding. Most everyone stayed for the reception and when we left there was quite a crowd still there.

Our wedding was not a stressfull one, I was not a bridezilla. I pretty much encouraged people to do what they wanted so long as they didn't change my colors and no one was excluded.

We even had one friend who played the trumpet with the pianist for Trumpet Voluntare (my march) and another friend who was an aspiring photographer and very talented who did all the photography.

The only thing I would have done differently is to have the photos taken prior to the service. Too stressful to have taken after.

Oh, another note, abaya: if you want flowers, go to your area Costco in Seattle and ask for the floral manager. They do bulk orders. Of course, you can only order what's in season, but the discounts are huge comparatively, and unlike most florists, they don't automatically tack on $100 just because they're wedding flowers.

For my wedding next summer, I'm getting the invitations, bridal accessories, and extra flowers from Costco, not that I'll need much. The ceremony is going to be in a local park in their rose garden, and I'm planning to have the reception at my in-laws' place here in town--they have 5 acres, a good portion of which is developed into lawn and gardens. They also have a pool, a giant deck, and a trampoline for the kiddies (and there are a lot of kiddies on my boyfriend's side). Though we're going to have 80 or so guests, my goal is to keep it a casual, laid-back, summer wedding.

Well hey there Owl, should there be an early "congrats" in line for you, too? :) I didn't know you were already planning your wedding, as well! :D

Thanks for all your Costco tips... it's already one of our favorite stores. Costco rocks! :thumbsup:

Yeah, my old house would have been beautiful for a wedding... my aunt was married there, actually, and I was a flower girl (about 18 years ago!) Too bad the place doesn't exist anymore; they demolished it 4 months before we might be getting married. :(

Still, my mom's new house would be fine for a little ceremony, and again, perhaps even the reception (it would save us about $1000). Our ceremony might not be what y'all are thinking... I mean, if we go the Thai route, it'll be early in the morning with some Buddhist monks in attendance, chanting sutras, with invites only to close friends and relatives. Not really a public thing. The reception won't be that much bigger, either... but it might need a *little* bigger space for celebratin'.

Have any TFP'ers done/attended a midday wedding? (Say, just before/around noon?) Any complaints? :) It's just SO much cheaper!

Koni actually read my mind somehow...

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...19#post2074019

in that thread he posted a cupcake wedding cake - while the display thing it's on is tough to find... a regular cake plate would work fine... and they're pretty, tasty, and frosting roses aren't that hard to make...

Inexpensive NOT cheap...

I've been in one, and been to a few...

Drawbacks - especially for those in the wedding - it's early... especially if you need to do something with your hair...

Plusses... it's generally a brunch wedding, so it's not rubber chicken, soggy pasta or overcooked beef... breakfast foods can't really be ruined...

Mimosas are deadly... (but you can use sparkling wine rather than champagne. Bloody Marys are tasty but watch spillage on light colored dresses.

Not many are up for dancing at noonish... so the whole reception kind changes and it's more socializing than partying... you can get away with just background music playing...

If you aren't having it at a reception hall - you could also consider a late afternoon cocktail/hors dourves reception - and pass on the rubbery chicken/soggy pasta/overcooked beef.. and just have trays of hors dourves passed... (the hors dourves can be bought cheap enough at either the grocery store or even costco i'd imagine - then hire 2-3 high schoool students to pass them)

go to the library and check out some wedding on a budget books for some ideas - there are tons written on teh subject...

50 Bucks

Got married in a judges office, we were both in t-shirts and jeans. I had one friend with me, she had three. She was also 2 or 3 months preggers going through some real bad morning sickness. When the judge said you may kiss the bride, she almost passed out. Should have known then that we were doomed at that moment.

My only wedding gift besides a some nice check that came from both of our parents later was a 12 pack of beer.

IF I ever get married again, Ill do it the right way

Just the wife, myself, and the justice of the peace on a beach on Sanibel Island, FL.

Honeymooned in Tampa for a week at my father-in-laws condo (for free).
Wedding dress: ~$200
Suit: $0 (own plenty to choose from)
Rings: ~$750
Justice: $250
Freakin' awesome wedding photo: Priceless
http://hlawton.home.insightbb.com/photos/wetfeet.jpg

My wedding? $50 for the license, including the judge. Reception at Dairy Queen, another $20.

My eldest daughter is doing hers in 2 parts. She eloped to a destination resort in the mountains this weekend and will have the receprtion in a couple of months. Wedding/honeymoon/elopement package at a pretty nice resort was $2000 or so, all inclusive.Reception plans are ongoing, but will likely be twice that. On announcing her engagement, we offered her a settlement on all wedding expenses. She got a 2003 Honda Civic with very low miles in exchange for all wedding expenses.
My wife never cared for the car, my daughter loves it, son-in-law is happy they have 1 reliable car, and I just wanted out of the wedding planning crap.

Can I trade you for my dad? :lol: Seriously. Trying to plan my own wedding--he has an opinion about EVERYTHING, and says that since he's paying, he gets to tell me what to do. Such a pain in the butt! Fortunately Mom told him to knock it off. I love my mom.

you know what they say about the golden rule... He who has the gold... makes the rules :D

I like StanT's daughter's idea. We might just have to do something like that, given our time constraints! :)

Mal, I will check out a book or two when I get a chance, thanks for the ideas... all of them! :)

My brother and his wife... on New years eve in 1999 -- took a friend each, and an ordained minister (who was a friend of theirs)(not telling anyone what was going on) and hiked to the top of some beautiful mountain near Seattle... In their backpack, they had two bouquets of flowers, for the bride and the maid of honor, a camera, and a veil... They wore hiking clothes and hiking boots... When they reached the top fo the mountain.. they told their friends why they were there - his wife put on her veil... the flowers were distributed, and they were married-- pictures were taken and they are absolutely beautiful.

(the fun began when they called my parents when they got back... :lol: a few months later mommy dearest calmed down and hosted a beautiful party in their home for all their friends...

a wedding is what you make it - and the reception doesn't have to happen the day of..

i didnt think my wedding was extravagant at all but it was every bit of 25,000 for 150 people.

rings and dress add about 15,000 to that

honeymoon another 5000

money doesnt go far with weddings

thats EXACTLY why I have my own...so I didnt have to deal with the daddy's girls who think their parents sole purpose in live was to give them a 200k wedding

right. a guy who worked for me got married about 1 year after I did and told me his budget was $50k. He ended up spending $75k and they got divorced 3 years later.

Also, we didn't want parents meddling in our wants and ideas any more than their bitching about being present in such short notice. (We gave them 5 weeks notice.)

Paying for it all ensured that there were no arguments as to who got invited and what needed to happen.

Our money, our say, their money, their say.

we were very lucky...Dave's parents did contribute money wise (my 5k wedding total was what the whole cost, no matter who paid for it) but they never ONCE tried to tell me what to do. They would wait until we'd made up our minds on something...and then offer to pay for it. *sigh* I absolutely adore my MIL and FIL

Like I said, my dad is paying...but I'm not trying to bankrupt him! I don't WANT to spend more than I absolutely have to, and I'm trying to cut corners wherever possible. One place I don't plan on cutting corners is on the food--mostly because, well, I love food. Fortunately I have an in with a local caterer (one of my employers). I'd do the food myself, but then my SO would flip.

I also have a band picked out to hire--it's a local guy who has this trio that does swing/blues/jugband type music. They're cheap and exactly the kind of music I want at my wedding--they play fun stuff, slow stuff, and old stuff, and I think everyone will like them.

My goal is to make it low-cost but classy.

I dont know if you plan on boozing it up....but if you do, have you ever heard of two buck chuck(charles shaw). Its a wine,that is very good but cheap.You can get it at Trader Joes, I think they have those in Washington. Here in Ohio its around 4 dollars a bottle...I know what your thinking, but its not shwag!!! Its been featured on CBS ad is getting rave reviews.

It's $3 a bottle in Washington, and yes, they do have TJs. :love:

Oh yes, ktspktsp and I are well-acquainted with Charles Shaw. :) Unfortunately, the only way we usually have it is when I buy it in WA and bring it back to PA!! :lol: That's because PA and adjoining states' liquor laws won't allow TJ's (or any grocery) to sell alcohol... :p But that is an excellent idea. I wonder if they have champagne?? White wine could work. :)

TJs sells similarly priced California champagne, and they give you deals if you buy by the case.

abaya, I don't know if you ever watch HGTV, but there's a Wedding Design on a Dime on Saturday night at 10pm... the promo said putting on a wedding for under $8K... they usually do a room for under $1K, and things turn out really nice... could get some ideas from this special. =)

I am mostly a lurker here and have enjoyed your good posts and sound advice, but this post makes me glad I do not live in New England.

A wedding is about the couple getting married, most likely a younger couple starting out in life. They or their family are supposed to come up with the extra thousands, on top of what it cost for the ceremony and reception hall, just to get decent or worthy gifts? WOW!

I did not say no food. What I meant was that you do not have to provide a three course meal. We put out meat, cheese, and buns for sandwiches along with fruit, macaroni and potatoe salad (all done by our families). This cut some cost. We also got 2 kegs of beer. By my calculation using the above qouted formula, we should have recieved maybe an iron, a blender, and maybe some tupperware.

Where I work caters for normally 2 weddings a week and it totally floors me with the cost that people spend on such a day. Don't get me wrong, your wedding day is a wonderful event and should be celebrated the way YOU want.... not your parents, in-laws etc. We have a minimum spend of I think about $15000 for a wedding but most go higher. Now that's just the reception!

I love the way we got married and looking back, there's not one part I'd change. We got married on our favourite beach and had only 20 people - family and 1 close friend from both sides. We hired a penthouse apartment, had caterers come in, kicked everyone out by midnight, then jumped back into our bathers and ate port and cheese to the wee hours of the morning. Then had everyone back for breakfast the next day, cleaned up and then flew off to Italy for a 4 week honeymoon. Doing it this way, we could afford to do what we enjoyed. Stuff the rest of them - it was our day.

And when we got back from Europe, we had a barbecue to celebrate with our other friends.

My dress - $80 and I couldn't have been happier. Why spend thousands of dollars, it just doesn't make sense to me I'm afraid.

Remember the day for what it is and should be, not for what money can buy. The memories of the day, the friends and family who are there are what live on, not the $15000 you spent on food to get a $20 toaster.

Okay, I watched the special... it wasn't as full of points, pieces, and tidbits as I was hoping it would have to save money, but it turned out to be a beautiful wedding... here's a link to the site, JIC. =)

http://www.hgtv.com/hgtv/dc_occasion...742632,00.html

Every bit of $27,000. Worth every penny:

Decorations for church and reception (Purchased at Michael's and assembled by our mothers):
332.10

Catering (choice of 2 entrees for 100 guests, including china/crystal place settings):
3,647.88

Wedding planning software:
39.00

Photographer
790.00

Groomsmen's gifts:
71.15

Hair/Makeup for bride:
200.00

Honeymoon (a week at a 5 star resort in St. Lucia with first class airfare and accomodations):
6,990.10

Wedding cake (including sheet cakes, enough for 100):
329.57

Invitations:
516.91

Limo (church to reception and reception to hotel):
580.00

Marriage license:
68.50

Photo developing:
249.36

Sheet music for singer (her cousin, who sang in the church prior to the wedding):
24.63

Reception hall (included tables, linens, setup, teardown, and hosted beer/wine/soda bar for 100 guests):
2,776.96

Party supplies (for bridal shower):
119.26

Rehearsal dinner (prepared meals at her aunt's house):
75.31

Wedding night and following night at a local resort:
675.18

Wedding and engagement rings:
4,465.00

Videographer (I watch the video once a month or so, I'm glad we did it):
795.00

DJ (Definitely do a DJ, he won't cock up the music and we had a choreographed waltz done at a dance studio for our dance):
695.00

Church, music minister, preist:
470.00

Stamps.com (did photostamps of us for our wedding invitations):
128.95

Wedding dress and bridesmaids gifts:
2,500.00

Wine/Champaign:
370.00


Grand Total 27,109.86

It was a fabulous experience, but it was also something we budgeted and managed very carefully. Everything got paid for, nothing went on a credit card that didn't get paid off.

I think you want the memories to last forever, not the payments....

*sigh* mine was around 35k-40k
(including honeymoon and engagement ring and wedding rings etc)

other than make your own invites and decor using family slave labour, that's about all of the insight I can give to the wedding part.

If you're interested for the honeymoon part though - I ended up joining this travel agent group. Cheaper flights / hotel / car rentals, got commission for setting up my own trip, and to boot as a "travel agent" we were able to write off the honeymoon as a business expense (partially).

Wow, each to their own, I guess? :eek: I never thought anyone would be willing to spend that much money on a day of their lives... that only celebrities and such did that. But here we are with some regular ol' TFPers... damn.

Thanks for the very detailed answers (esp Sir Lance... wow!)... it's interesting to see that MUCH of the cost gets chalked up to the bride (with her gown, attendants, and ring). At the same time, women TFP'ers seem rather proud to have spent less on their weddings, while the male ones have no regrets about spending lots. Innnteresting.

Well, I found a book about having a wedding for $5,000 or less and am excited to take a look at it. I know it's possible. :D

Could you let me know the title? I'd like to take a look at it. Thanks :)

Well Owl, a good search on Amazon/Barnes & Noble will be more helpful than my suggestions (I just happened to browse across a few at B&N), but I'll copy the titles of a few here so you can get started. :) I liked #2 best, so far.

1) Priceless Weddings for under $5,000

2) Intimate Weddings: Planning a Small Wedding that Fits Your Budget and Style

3) Cheap Ways to Tie the Knot: How to Plan a Church Wedding for Less than $5,000

4) How to Have an Elegant Wedding for $5,000 (or Less), Achieving Beautiful Simplicity Without Mortgaging Your Future

Go Boho man. Get the most out of nothing; find a friend with a beautiful backyard, borrow, etc etc. My lady and I asked a friend to officiate for us (he's a pastor), having the actual wedding in my mothers backyard (who is an amazing horticuturalist), we are actually having our reception in a city theatre where we worked together, and met, for the first time. We have friends and co-workers who are going to perform, we will as well (huge dance and song numbers that will grow out of nothing; all the songs that mean a lot to us.) It will be very original, cheap as hell, very special to us, and involve all of our friends which means so much to us.

i say find something that makes you feel like yourself. If you feel the debutant thing then use what you have to make that real to you and your SO. Take what you have, and make it what you need and want.