Dealing with Cockblockers
 

Ok, so I had on old thread kind of like this but its not really the same. Besides, it was locked.

Anyways, I was just at a social event, and I was really annoyed by how some casual acquantances, even though they didn't know me well at all, would tag along with me the WHOLE way through because they are too scared to talk to other people.

How do you get rid of people like this? I mean, I'm not a mean guy, I love to talk to my friends (guys or girls) but seriously, this guy tagged along even when it was obvious I was talking to a girl and we wanted to talk more alone and all the other guys got the hint and walked off...

How do you get rid of people like this?

Tell him you need him to go away for awhile...you know....the truth.

Yep, just tell him. Take him aside and say "hey, I'm gonna chat with this girl for a bit, okay?" I'm sure it will be no hard feelings.

Is he really trying to cockblock?

Is the guy or girl uncomfortable in social situations? It may not be "cockblocking" at all, but wanting to have someone nearby that he/she knows in a place full of unknowns. Nevermind...I just reread the post and it seems this may be the case. Some people just aren't comfortable in situations like that (I know, I'm not comfortable in most social situations). I think your best bet is what tec said...tell them the truth.

"When in doubt, tell the truth." Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens)

Having been said person I can honestly say he might not have noticed. While you may be totally comfortable going around talking to people some people like to have an anchor in a tide of newness, standing in a room of people you don't know is hard, if you have a friend it helps, however if you want to move off for a while talk to the person, or help them find someone else to talk to/meet... probably a lot of the problem is casting off rather than sailing once you are therre.

No, I doubt he is 'trying' to cockblock. He's doing it unconciously, because I guess I am his "anchor in a tide of newness", to quote AngelicVampire. The funny thing is he *does* know people there its just they probably don't want to talk to him either..

Err, I tried that once. He asked me some question about my club (I guess because he didn't know what else to talk about) and I just asked a girl in my club to please explain it to him (I passed it off in a smoother way). He wasn't able to keep the conversation going with the girl long enough.. or barely at all. Or wait, now that I think about it, the girl didn't really want to talk to him either.

Yeah, I was frustrated because he was doing subconcious things like blocking me off into corners too, whereas if he had not stood there at that spot I could have easily branched off into a subconversation with a few other girls as well (who were nearby). It was a situation where I ended up standing behind a table and his spot was the only 'exit' that I had. I had to make due with throwing away my coke can to get out, but then by that time the said closeby girls were not closeby anymore.

Then as I tried to make a cool solo exit he even followed me out of the event. Argh. I got tired of it and I just told him "see you later I have to go pee" and I hit the bathroom.

I just don't see how some ppl can be so socially unaware. So when you guys say "I am like that too" I doubt you are *this* unaware are you?

Oh yeah, and the truth does work I guess. I didn't want to make a fuss at a social gathering. At that place it is hard to pull someone aside and tell them something like that without others possibly hearing or at least making a fuss out of it.

Sometimes it ruins the situation if the girl you're talking to hears that you "are trying to talk to her only" kind of thing, even though its both on your minds. I dunno, just what I think..

i don't know what to tell you, except to take him aside... when you're NOT in this situation, just when you're getting some food, or chatting casually and just tell him "hey, i know i can be a little difficult in some situations, esp. when you don't know anyone, i'll try to introduce you around when we first get there, but after that, i think it would be good for us to have some space"

^^ i know that's how i would say it, maybe that's too formal for you to say... just get that point across, in a casual, non-club situation and let him really know how you feel.

sometimes, i tag a long with people, i've been guilty of this a time or two... it happens, don't hold it against your friend, just really have a talk with him about it. he may be totally unaware.

sweetpea

Is this guy a friend of yours? Is he a good friend? If so, then you fucked up, not him. Obviously he was not comfortable where he was, so he needed a friendly face to not feel like a total outcast. Put yourself in his shoes, I would hate to be out somewhere with no one I knew well, and my only friend there was trying to avoid me like the plague just becasue he was trying to hook up with some girl.
Be nicer, I agree that you should have just told him the truth, but geez man, sometimes it's more important to have friends than a chance to get shot down by a slew of girls.

Lol. My whole point was that I'd put up with it if it were even remotely close friends.

This guy was an acquaitance; ie I knew him from a random class that as pass fail. We never hung out. Name basis only, small chit-chat a few times on campus here and there.

well, that being the case, ditch the guy on someone else that looks like they are having a bad time as well, girl or guy, maybe they'll hit it off and you can be rid of this guy forever!

take him to the side and whisper in his ear "if you stop me from getting ass tonight, I'm gonna take your ass, I swear it."

seriously tho, either tell him politely or tryand pawn him off on somebody else... take him to somebody you think he might have something in common.. introduce him, try and strike up a convo between them and leave...

Hmmm. I haven't been that person, I am that person. When I go out someplace with Grace or Sissy, I cling like burrs to cotton socks. Grace never minds, and Sissy will give me a signal when she wants to talk up a guy. I'd never try to keep Sissy from hooking up, and with Grace it's not an issue.

Sounds like he's shy. If you provided some social insulation for him, he's probably grateful.

I don't know how to dump him.

Gilda

This: "I'm going to leave you now, because I want to chat up some women, and that's a solo activity for me." He might not care to hear that, but how could he argue with it? He'd be doing it himself if he knew how.

EDIT: nevermind.. if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

How old are you, match?

My response to this is mixed, since I have been on both sides of the fences.

One perspective is that your acquantance may not realize (seriously, it happens) that he is following you around, or at least to the extent that he actually is. Also, as an acquantance, he may just actually want to develop a stronger platonic relationship with you by hanging out and spending time together at parties. It is also possible that he does not realize that you are trying to flirt with the particular female (what may look like flirting to you may seem like casual small talk to him, and vice versa).

On the other hand, I know it can really be frustrating when the friend is there (especially when the follower is one of her female friends). I often feel more comfortable talking with the ladies if I'm the only male there (sounds a bit selfish, yes) or if it is only you and the female.

(On another note: I am not sure if the thread title alludes to either that you want to rid the pestering acquantance because you want to quickly get intimate with the female; or if you would just like to have a more serious conversation and some flirting with her.)

catcha on the flipside,
will.

I want to have a more seroius conversation and some flirting with her. The type of women I like are not the type to 'get intimate quickly'.

22, about to graduate from university.