Optimist or Pessimist
 

Gilda's thread on "Are you happy?" made me want to take another approach to her question. There are some people here who I've noticed tend to have a negative twist on a lot of things and other's who have predominantly positive twist.

This world is never going to be the utopia that we all dream of. Not even our own countries could individually create one because each family/city/country is made up of flawed people. So I can understand how someone could have a pessimistic view of all things with this lack of hope in mind.

Yet there are always improvements and the struggle of many to create that dream they have. They striving to improve themselves and others.

I think I am an optimist and hubby is a pessimist. At least in contrast. So often something bad will happen and I will look at it in terms of "Ok, how do I fix this, maybe I can get something out of this problem and improve the overall situation even more." whereas a frequent phrase coming out of hubby's mouth is "Why can't I get a break?" or "Well we're screwed now."

I tend to get this shot of adrenaline when faced with a big problem. It's even to he point that I get the shakes and want to punch something or run as fast as I can to get rid of the pent up energy. Hubby likes to go to bed when something bad happens. We're opposites. Without one or the other of us to balance each other out though I think I'd end up in a lot of trouble on our own.

So the question - Are you an Optimist or a Pessimist?? Why?? and if you are an optimist, what keeps you looking up? or at least how do you get yourself to look up again when bad things happen??

I'm a pessimist when it comes to myself - and that comes from living with myself for 41 years... When other people are concerned - I'm an obnoxious optimist and cheerleader - I beleive that good things will happen to people who deserve them... (just not me - because perhaps I've got too much bad karma and too much crap I've done in the past to ever deserve anythign good)

As much of a curmudgeon as i am - I do mostly believe in the good in people, and can find the good in most situations... At work right now, we're going thru some major turmoil, and honestly, it's getting frustrating being around all the doom and gloomers, i just want to scream SHUT UP - JUST SHUP Up with the negativity...

When something bad happens, customers, aquaintances, and such have always told me that they like having me around because I can always keep a clear head - and just work towards solving the problem - I might have some angst after the fact when no one is looking, but otherwise - -it's full steam ahead and just get it done.. (with my own issues, I'm more of a bury my head in the sand and deal with it when i have to...)

Optimist. To the bone.

In my view, there is no need for negativity. One must appreciate the risks of any given situation, and look at things rationally (no pie-in-the-sky dreams please) but as far as dwelling on the negative, I don't see the use.

Shit in one hand, complain in the other, and see which one fills the fastest.


Why am I like this? I think it is my personal history. All the bad stuff I have gone through, all of the close calls. I can always look at things and say,

"Well, at least it isn't raining."
"Well, at least I'm not sleeping on Poison Ivy."
"Well, at least they don't have a machine gun."
"Well, at least the bills are paid."
"Well, at least there is beer in the fridge."
"Hey, chicks dig scars."

Et cetera.

Things could always get worse. Appreciate the situation for what it is. You think it can't get worse? Just say these words: "This can't get worse."

Yeah I said that this past year when I had strep, UTI, pink eye, and a cold. Then, wouldn't ya know it, just a few days after saying that I got the stomach flu. It can ALWAYS get worse.

Optimist, easy. I also like to think of optimist as a realist too or at least compared to a pessimist. Like you said a pessimist would say "It's all ruined, or we're completely screwed" but that is so rare to ever actually happen, usually we get something out of it but pessimists tend not to see it.

A very recent and even ongoing situation for me is that I will not be able to get this internship I was planning on because of basically being "poor" and only having one car between us, which in effect means I likely won't get into the phd program because of how competitive it is for my degree and this is the last semester I can do it.

I look at that though that we are rich enough, and lucky enough to even have a car, and lucky enough for me to go to college and get a BA. My intelligence is still in here even if I don't get a phd, so I havn't actually lost something because I never had it in the first place. Besides, I may not have liked the work anyway. Maybe Ill meet my future wife in some venture I wouldn't have normally taken if I had gone to grad school or maybe I would have died driving to my first day of the internship. Basically, who knows? And I prefer to think that things turn out for the best.

For me, it's even easier. Pessimism isn't even an option to me -- its a failure. If I've become so snowballed that I can't think positively, I failed somewhere in the chain of events to begin fixing them. This has only happened a few times in my life, and I recognized it and began (far too late, of course) and began fixing it.

I've got 50 years on this world (maybe) and there's no fuckin' way I'm going to waste it being upset that things didn't go my way or that people didn't react how I'd planned. I already wasted 17-18 years doing that, and I'm sure as hell not going back. It's so much easier to be happy about the things that happen and learn from them. I, too, get the adrenaline rush when I feel something 'broken' and it works very well for my personality and my career. If it's not going my way, I'll try 1000 ways under the sun to fix it, and then a few hundred other last ditch efforts before I even think about slowing down. I may not be the most intelligent person or even the most motivated, but I'm resourceful and I'm dedicated. So the optimism/pessimism question never even comes up -- I just fix things when they break and move on with my life.

Like JinnKai and Raeanna, problems usually get me all fired up.. I want to jump on them and go nuts solving them, since it's almost like a game or puzzle to me. Relationship problems especially get me excited about finding an solution (much to my SO's dismay, since he prefers a more balanced approach). The only time I *don't* get excited about solving a problem is when it relates to my schoolwork! :lol: e.g. writing a paper or grant proposal, especially now that I am in heavy PhD work and it sucks the life out of me on some days.

But even with my energy about solving problems, I don't think I'm a big optimist these days. As most people know here, I do have a tendency to get sucked into negative thinking. This negativity has only become an issue in the last 5-6 years... before that I was pretty damn optimistic most of the time. I guess some heavy doses of reality hit me upside the head in my early 20s, conditioning me to think differently about the world after that.

In the last year or two I have worked hard to fight my negative thoughts and at least become more balanced, mostly through regular counseling and being in a really great relationship. :D I'll probably never become brightly positive about everything again, and I don't think I want to. But I'd like to find a place somewhere just right of the midline, so I can be a tiny bit optimistic but not needing reality checks to keep my feet on the ground.

Some of each, generally I’m extremely Optimistic. Mainly due to my undying faith in the lord gets me through; I’m truly blessed to have it born into me, hardly ever wavering even at the absolutely worst times. Having been on deaths door three or four times in my life… Strange not ever going to Church after about ages 4 or 5, I did eventually start going after my daughter was born 16 years ago. I do enjoy going when I do.

There are those moments or short periods of time I fall into deep holes, I mean Deeeep holes, where I feel like everyone would be better off with out me and there is when the old “Hell for Eternity” thing kicks in. I say a prayer and tell myself to stop feeling sorry for myself and try to think of someone homeless or loveless, usually that’s all it takes.
Some day I will start a journal, it would be good let my feelings be told. Just recently I’ve been able to let some things out because of threads like these. Thanks all!

Optimist - otherwise, what's the point?

It's so much more fun to be a optimist. Waiting for the other shoe to drop is a shitty way to go through life.

Really, I'm a realist. Things are what you think and make of them 99.99999997% of the time. Look it up. :)

I prefer to think of myself as a light-hearted stoic, most of the time. I always *try* to see silver linings in every situation, it helps to make dark situations more bearable.

And doesn't everyone think they are a realist? No one says, "I'm very optimistic and also unrealistic..." LOL.

Pessimist when it comes to myself, optimist when it comes to others. I encourage others to death whereas I have no faith in myself.

I'm an optimist with a touch of pragmatism thrown in for flavor. I like to think that things will always work out, but I'm never surprised when they don't.

It depends on how I feel. I can do blackest doom and sparkliest sunshine. On an average though, I think I'm a slight optimist. It's not one of my more... distinguishing personality features.

Realistically optomistic? I tend to be as pragmatic as possible about the future, but after something has happened, I look at the bright side (the optomistic part :) ). I used to be a pessimist, but I didn't like how it made me feel so I worked for a few years to change it.

edit: I guess I can echo guthmund actually. :)

Sultana: yes, but some people are actually correct when they call themselves realistic. :) If you're an optomist and you are consistently disappointed, you're not realistic. If you're a pessimist and are consistently blown away by how things work out, you're not realistic either.

Optimist. Even when I find myself falling down and wanting to turn to pessimism, I buck up and find the brighter side. It's hard, sometimes, but doable. Pessimism, to me, feels overly self-indulgent and moreso if others notice (then, I just feel like a dweeb). I also try to surround myself with optimistic people which helps considerably.

People who are "chronic pessimists" drain me and I try to gravitate away from them. I'm thankful to have family and some very good friends who are very balanced. If someone's suddenly off-kilter, the rest do a pretty damn good job at rebalance.

ETA: I'm definitely a realistic optimist.

I'm neither - I'm a realist. Sure - I look for for the rainbow (and enjoy it when I see it); I also enjoy the rain. Shiite happens - it's beyond my (or your) control. Life will be what it will be. Some will be Nobel Prize winners; others will be 17 yo punks killing a homeless man.

I think I might be an optimist. I expect the worst to happen and try and find the good in every situation.

My fiance is definately an optimist. If you were to ask her, she would almost definately say that I am a pessimist.

I disagree - I believe I am a realist. I don't really think that I have an extraordinariliy positive or negative outlook on life. Certainly, if something very good/bad happens I am pleased/displeased, but when looking at a situation I try to determine the most likely outcome - without bias.

"I used to complain I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet."

yeah that's about sums it up for me. I try to remember that someone or something worse is out there than what's happening to me now.

I'm a pessimist. Why? I always expect the worse, and when it comes, I can always be prepared for it. When it comes to the best, well good because the worse didn't happen.

Would I choose to be optimist? Hell no, when the worse comes, I wouldn't have been prepared for it.

Interesting since I too prepare for the worst even though I'm an optimist. I just think about the worst, plan and prepare for to be ready.

Realist.

The worst does NOT always happens in fact it rarely does, and you can work for the best but you can't count on it.

As such you prepare yourself for the worst so it doesn't catch you by surprise but you don't assume it WILL be the worst, that makes life suck too much.

I'd say I used to be pessimistic, but if anything life has made me more optimistic, not less.

BINGO!

Hope for the best, expect the worst. Life normaly throws you somewhere in the middle. Course, the worst does seem to hit more then the best, but eh, what you going to do?

I hope I'm an optimist most of the time. Some times by virtue of the job, I must be a realist, though that might be construed as pessimist by some [even me, at times!].

What keeps me looking up is a Who: Jesus.

He makes this promise ~ Hebrews 13:5 ...for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

How true that was long about my 5th wedding anniversary. In the span of 6 months [closer to 5], my brother-in-law died of AIDS, my mom died of a stroke, and our 2nd child died of SIDS. There's more to the story [stories!] but Gracie's death was the toughest of all of that. It was a hard Christmas, but our church family was a blessing [I was not a pastor then].

I am not proud to say that in about the 6 months after that -- 6 months or so -- I came to have serious doubts about God. Not proud because it would be nice to think I didn't give up on God like that! And don't think I'm being too hard on myself in that admission. That was how I felt at the time; in time I came to understand that was part of the grieving I was going through but simply didn't understand then.

But God never gave up on me. And eventually He brought me back so I could fully enjoy a warm relationship with Him! The renewed and fresh understanding of His grace was wonderful.

Don't misunderstand. It was a dark time in my life, and I would have rather not gone through some of it. Sometimes the tuition in the school of life is a bit higher than you expect to pay!

But I also gained some valuable insights from that time, and I treasure much of that now.

I will say, on the night Gracie died, or maybe the next night, I had the opportunity to be in my living room alone. Oh, how I cried. I poured out my heart to God, confessing, basically, honestly, "You have broken my heart." It's how I felt.

In time, I found He healed it.

Hope this helps you on your search. Blessings.
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"To Love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket -- safe, dark, motionless, airless -- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable." -- C.S. Lewis [Pastor Tim, "I'm not sure I agree 100%, but I find it an interesting sentiment expressed."]

I am grateful.

I look forward.

I love my family.

I serve God.

Nothing is black and white, and there is always room for growth and change.

Some good thoughts pinkie, thanks for sharing.
Pastor Tim

Optimist. I will always come on top. And so will everyone around me that buys into me hyping them up.

I think that both optimism and pessimism can be self-fulfilling prophecies, yes?

I'm an optimist and a realist--no pie-in-the-sky dreams here. Everything I want to do, I know I can. Move abroad to New Zealand? Sure, I can do that no problem. Open up my own cafe? Someday. Write a book about my travels? I'll get there--getting it published is the tricky part.

Life is an ADVENTURE, and it's so much better to be an optimist on a great adventure.

pessimist. if you don't have high hopes and come to the realization that something might not go your way, you are never, ever dissappointed. it makes the sweet even sweeter.

No - if the optimist beleives their own press - they are in for a world full of disappointment when their vision for their future doesn't come true because reality is reality... and the world doesn't revolve around them.... The pessimist might not beleive good things will happen (hell, I dont) but if something good does come along -- well it's a bonus... no disappointment there.. Pessimism is better...

Just because you believe something will happen - doesn't make it so... I could believe that i am beautiful.. but reality would say otherwise... i could believe that I am intelligent... reality would say otherwise...

Hmm, I think there's a difference in the definition of optimism then...I don't think optimisim is a "Something good is gonna happen!" mindset, rather, I see it as a "Something good could come of this." attitude.

Who's reality?

Anyways, overall I try to stick to a "Expect (plan for) the worst, hope for the best" mindset. I don't know how to define it via the optimist or pessimist line though.

On the whole Im an optimist, I know it doesnt seem like it when Im whining sometimes lol but Im the type of person that no matter how things seem to me at the time, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it COULD be worse.

You know, on second thought, I think I'm still pretty much an optimist. There are times when I stray to the pessimistic side... but who's to say there are only two sides? It's not like anyone is firmly one or the other, all the time (well, maybe a few people!). 2005 was not a great year for me, but I got through it in one piece, and I am really looking forward to 2006. Life is not easy but there are always joys to be had. :D

Well at the very base of it, the glass is neither half full nor half empty. It is merely twice as big as it needs to be.

But to be serious I am a conundrum of sorts really, when I really look at myself I find both traits for various situations. For instance, I am very pessimistic about myself and my abilities wither it be from an artistic standpoint or a personal growth standpoint. Up until recently (last year or two) if you would have asked me what my future held, I would have told you that chances are I would be the crazy old guy that lives alone with only a dog as a companion. Even now I'm in a very stable relationship (engaged actually), but deep down inside I can't believe something this good would happen to me.

On the flip side of that, for some reason or another, is my "professional persona" if you will. I'm working on my 3rd startup company, and everything is smooth sailing. There's a demand for my product (assuming I can ever finish coding it), and as soon as we hit the product launch, there is no doubt in my mind that this is going to be the one, the one that picks me up out of my current state and allows me to do everything in life that I want. This is also the way I thought with my other 2 startups. 1 died after 4 years (I was actually living in Singapore at the time it died trying to open up the Asia Pacific market), and the other didn't even make it a year.

I have no clue how I can be so pessimistic on one hand and so borderline blindly optimistic on the other.

Who knows.

Overall, I am obnoxiously optimistic about everything. Things can and have been worse and I am hell bent on staying as happy as I am now.

But with this comes a balance. Overall, 19 1/2 out of 20 days I am like this but once in awhile two thigns happen- I either have a panic attack that convinces me life is hell or i get a small depressive streak that causes the same. But it helps me smile and realize when I am happy, and I like it that way.

I have to agree with others I consider myself more of a realist. Some people say the cup is half full, others half empty, I want to know who drank half of my soda.

I am a realist-optimist. Generally the problem with pessimism is you get so caught up in it that when something good does come along you don't even realize it. Your too busy bitching and complaining. I've dabbled in the entire spectrum at one point or another, but I see no reason not to remain optimistic while not necessarily throwing reality out of the window either.

It also goes along with my main theory, extremism = stupid. but thats for another thread.

I'm a realist... I hope for the best, because truly, how can we be satisfied with anything we do accomplish, if we don't shoot for perfection? But I expect the worst. That way any surprises you get will be pleasant ones.