offend anyone?
 

OK, I have been trying to sell my car to this guy over the net and he has been leading me on for about two weeks now. Apparently he was a con, he even sent me a fake cashier's check! I have his Email and he doesen't know that know that he is a fake, I was hopeing to offend him in my next reply to an Email that I have of his and I was wondering if any of you know how to completely offend anyone, something about his mother and me fucking her in the ass was all I could come up with. Can any of you come up with any better?

No need to get rude. Just tell him that his cashiers check was no good and that you have another purchaser for your car. Wish him luck in finding another ride.

If you really need to be rude, tell him that his mother called and she was extremely pissed that he left his spoon in the cats ass again.

Better than being rude, try to reel him in. Try to get some information on him that can be traced, then turn him over to the Feds. Actually, if the e-mail address you have is not a throwaway freebie account, you may already have enough information. The Secret Service will be very interested in someone passing counterfeit cashier's checks.

Maybe it's me, but I think getting him a stint in pound-me-in-the-ass federal prison would be much more satisfying than sending him a rude e-mail.

Yeah, I allready spoke to the secret service but they only listen to cases where people actually lost something. So there isn't much else I can do.

Forgery is still forgery. Counterfeiting bank instruments are a federal crime. The FBI will pursue this. It doesn't matter if anyone lost anything.

Their story was that there have been so many of these around that they only have time to pursue the ones where money was lost.

I still think you're not talking to the right law enforcement. I can't believe that the police would turn away from such an open and shut case. I would think they would jump all over this as it improves their conviction rate. You can't arrange a meeting with this guy and then tip off the police? Are there details you're not telling us? Like is this guy a foreign national or something?

If this is true then it should come as a great relief for forgers and white collar criminals everywhere.

The Feds can't handle the immigration cases; they won't give a second glance to this. Be honest - tell the guy to get a real job making real money before trying his scam on someone else.

And be careful, if this guy passed you a fake check, he knows where you live. No use getting in to it with a criminal...

Ya. The cops already said that they aren't going to help you. Why risk dealing with this criminal? Just tell him his check didn't clear, so you traded the car for a machinegun.

Twice! You should add twice at the end. If the thought of you doing it once doesn't get him, his coming to terms with you doing it twice will have him balled up in the fetal position and weeping in the corner.

HaHaHa

that might scare him away!

Alert the FBI and find another buyer.